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Geek Culture / New contender for Worst Game EVER

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Cash Curtis II
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Posted: 2nd Feb 2008 16:33 Edited at: 2nd Feb 2008 16:34
While on Zero Punctuation watching Ben Yahtzee's weekly game review I came across a Youtube video. I thought that it was a parody of a game. As a parody is was pretty funny. The thing is, it's not a parody, it's SERIOUS!



Here's the summary from the website, www.zoorace.com...
Quote: "After laughing and teasing her friend Rueben about believing in the Noah's Ark story, then Hannah the librarian has a dream about it. In her dream, her friends are re-shaped into animals and she herself changes into a racehorse and participates in the race "Games of Celebration" after the world flood. But, unknown to everyone, Noah’s sons have created a lot of obstacles on the racetrack for the creatures. These obstacles on the racetrack slow down the participants and include hurdles, glass mazes, Piranha fish, fire geysers, exploding barrels, rockets, cannons, bomber planes and more! "Let's give them a real race, ha-ha!" said Japeth. "Yes and let’s have some fun!" said Shem and Ham, so beware, because this race is so very different.
"


It was wacky enough when the animals are racing, then they start disco dancing with Noah and then they hop on missiles and blast off. Wow.


Come see the WIP!

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Silvester
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Posted: 2nd Feb 2008 16:41
That is the most weird idea ever...

Core Map 2 is released, Free edition and Commercial Edition available at the following link
See Topic
Data
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Posted: 2nd Feb 2008 16:44
Wow. That does look like a parody...

Sid Sinister
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Posted: 2nd Feb 2008 16:53
Ouch to Christianity Is it a Christian game or are they just talking about Noah's Ark? I can't even tell lol.

For a long time, I thought Superman 64 was the worst game ever. Click here for the hilarious youtube review.

"If I have seen a little further it is by standing on the shoulders of Giants" -Isaac Newton
-Computer Animation Programming Major @ Baker.edu-
Satchmo
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Posted: 2nd Feb 2008 16:53 Edited at: 2nd Feb 2008 17:01
LAWL.

That can't be for reals.

http://www.familyfriendlygaming.com/Reviews/2007/Review%20The%20Zoo%20Race%20Noahs%20Adventures%202.html

LAWLS.

Graphics got 79 out of 100, and sound got 99 out of 100.LAWL.

Chenak
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Posted: 2nd Feb 2008 17:07
Found it funny that the developer thinks this game is none violent. Trying to make animals explode isn't violent? How bout setting them on fire in the pits of hell? Fine example there lol

It was hilarious... but I feel bad for the 8mins of my life that are forever gone
Seppuku Arts
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Posted: 2nd Feb 2008 17:24
All I can say is, where's Utnapishtim in all of this?

It looks like a funny game, I mean it looks indie...if it's serious then somebody has been smoking something they shouldn't have.

Exit Pursued by man-bear-pig
Jeku
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Posted: 2nd Feb 2008 19:02
Obviously this isn't meant for hardcore gamers.

For all those parents who aren't into secular games, they want to buy games for their kids they can trust won't have decapitated heads and prostitute rape. It's not like we'll see this appear on XBLA anytime soon

And for those that don't know, these kinds of games make a *killing* in sales. Just sayin


Insert Name Here
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Posted: 2nd Feb 2008 19:06
Are you sure about that Jeku? I'm not sure that a game like this would make a killing.


TB3ITBPOMITW
tha_rami
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Posted: 2nd Feb 2008 19:09
Woot! I want to play it


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Jeku
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Posted: 2nd Feb 2008 19:15 Edited at: 2nd Feb 2008 19:17
Well, when I grew up I had many friends whose parents bought them the Noah's Ark game on SNES, and the other Bible games. If you go to the Angry Video Game Nerd site you can see how awesomely craptastic their gameplay actually was. The fact that they were guaranteed to not have anything objectionable in them (i.e. blood, killing, violence, curse words, naked boobies, etc.), many parents bought them for their kids.

The fact that the kids didn't really like the games when they got to be older than 8 or 9 is besides the point. These games will not win any SpikeTV video game awards, but they do serve a purpose for parents.

The game above in the YouTube video doesn't look too preachy, either, so even non-Christian parents could buy it in confidence. I assume all kids learn about the story of Noah's Ark eventually.


David R
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Posted: 2nd Feb 2008 19:58 Edited at: 2nd Feb 2008 19:58
Judging by the 'bang' noise (at the start of the race to signal 'go'), this game has been shoddily put together in A4/A5 Game studio - i.e. It's a game made by people who can't make games


09-f9-11-02-9d-74-e3-5b-d8-41-56-c5-63-56-88-c0
Green Gandalf
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Posted: 2nd Feb 2008 22:12
Quote: "Well, when I grew up "


You must be first person on this site who has.

Quote: "The fact that they were guaranteed to not have anything objectionable in them"


Is that possible? I find utter blandness objectionable.

Quote: "so even non-Christian parents could buy it in confidence"


Can anyone buy it in confidence?

Quote: "I assume all kids learn about the story of Noah's Ark eventually"


That is a BIG assumption.
Sid Sinister
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Posted: 2nd Feb 2008 22:16
Quote: "The fact that they were guaranteed to not have anything objectionable in them (i.e. blood, killing, violence, curse words, naked boobies, etc.), many parents bought them for their kids.

The fact that the kids didn't really like the games when they got to be older than 8 or 9 is besides the point. These games will not win any SpikeTV video game awards, but they do serve a purpose for parents."


I wonder if Kingdom Hearts would file under that heading in today's world. From what I remember, it was popular in both the secular world and in the nonsecular world.

"If I have seen a little further it is by standing on the shoulders of Giants" -Isaac Newton
-Computer Animation Programming Major @ Baker.edu-
Darth Kiwi
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Posted: 3rd Feb 2008 00:36
Wow. That Noah's ark thing is bad on so many levels. I'm not too bothered about graphics, but when you have a below average script coupled with bad voice acting and abysmal animation... and a plot in which everybody spontaneously turns into animals...

I think it's so sad that people put effort into this game when they could have been making something more worthwhile. But I guess "worthwhile" is a matter of opinion...

I'm not actually a Kiwi, I just randomly thought it up one day.
Fallout
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Posted: 3rd Feb 2008 00:37
A smelly turd on crack.

Only way I can think of describing it.


Samoz83
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Posted: 3rd Feb 2008 00:42 Edited at: 3rd Feb 2008 00:45
Rueben is a freak a real FREAK he has the mental age of like a 2 year old but the way they change into animals is really... boring and man what bad sound effects, im just so confused with that

www.firelightstudio.co.uk
tha_rami
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Posted: 3rd Feb 2008 03:12
Couldn't resist downloading the full 23MB of nonsense... It was actually... kinda funny...


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Libervurto
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Posted: 3rd Feb 2008 03:54 Edited at: 3rd Feb 2008 03:56
That was absolute crap; so bad I can't actually think of a word that sums up how bad it is, even if there was a word so terrible, merely writing it down would give it too much credibility to be an accurate description of this game.

The only reason they make money from that crock of sheet is because it mentions the bible. Let's be honest, it has nothing to do with lack of violence and blood, if I wanted to avoid those things I'd certainly steer my child away from the bible lol.
I think these guys are doing more harm than good to what they're trying to sell, then again if I knew christianity involved firing horses into space on the back of rockets and rhinos disco dancing with god, maybe I would have been more interested in religion.

Who thought up this game, and who the hell said "Awesome! Let's do it!"

It was funny, but I lost some valuable minutes watching that and "recovery time" which I spent thinking "but, what... what?... What?"
I feel like someone has scooped out my brains with a spoon

tha_rami
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Posted: 3rd Feb 2008 04:07 Edited at: 3rd Feb 2008 04:09
Aww, come on guys, I'm hooked now . I bet noone took the trouble of downloading it - it's so bad its funny .

Also funny: Teh License Agreementz. I fully copied it to the code-box below!



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Satchmo
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Posted: 3rd Feb 2008 04:08
Downloading now....

n008
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Posted: 3rd Feb 2008 04:18
Please, FSM, PLEASE say they aren't SERIOUS! >.<

"You guys are being too hard on god. He's trying so hard! :3" ~Mark75
Rambo Pow Pow
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Posted: 3rd Feb 2008 04:25
looks entertaining and funny
gbark
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Posted: 3rd Feb 2008 04:45
Quote: "I agree to not hold Cougar Interactive or any distributor legally liable due to any use of this program."


Lmao! Well, you gotta give it credit for being short, sweet, and to the point, unlike most other Licence Agreements.
Osiris
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Posted: 3rd Feb 2008 05:14 Edited at: 3rd Feb 2008 05:14
Did anyone else notice what happened when the guy challenged the girl to a race? He like morphed through the floor and the look on the chick was priceless haha.



RIP Max-Tuesday, November 2 2007
You will be dearly missed.

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Sid Sinister
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Posted: 3rd Feb 2008 06:35
Quote: "The only reason they make money from that crock of sheet is because it mentions the bible. Let's be honest, it has nothing to do with lack of violence and blood, if I wanted to avoid those things I'd certainly steer my child away from the bible lol.
I think these guys are doing more harm than good to what they're trying to sell, then again if I knew christianity involved firing horses into space on the back of rockets and rhinos disco dancing with god, maybe I would have been more interested in religion."


I have to agree that the only reason this sold was because it mentioned the bible. There isn't a whole lot of bible games out there, meaning it's a relatively untapped market without much competition. Which also means that there is no 'race' to make a better Christian game. Hence why we see crap like this.

I know a lot about the Christian market because I'm developing a game right now that has it's roots in the topic. I'm all for secular games and enjoy as much as the next lad who plays them, but I see an opportunity to knock the socks off this rather dull market and am hoping to make a game that has the 'best of both worlds'. Even I, being a Christian, am sick of tired of the crap games like this one. To be honest, it really is doing more harm than good and it's rather annoying... I take that back, really fricking annoying. It's pretty bad when even the target audience of a game, Christians, pukes after playing.

That's where my game comes in. I've been studying video game story lines for 3 years now and have been incorporating elements that are fairly secular and time honored in game design history into my game. The story is actually turning out to be really cool, like that of any secular RPG out there right now; meaning violence and all that other stuff. I've asked a few of my non-Christian friends to review my stuff and a few of them liked it so much they jumped on board and are helping me finish designing this game; that's been the biggest shock so far . At least this tells me I'm on the right track to hitting the nail on the head as far as a secular christian game goes.

A few of you might still might be sketchy on this 'cool christian game idea' which is fine, I don't blame you the least lol. Not after crap games like above come out. But honestly, this game's christian theme is layered so well into the story that if I were to reveal the plot to you, you wouldn't know it until I got down the specifics and character development.

I'm not going to lie, this game is only just starting to have enough elements done to start the coding... and this is after 3 years. But this should tell you how dedicated I am to making sure this game strikes the perfect balance.

I'd love to talk more about it, but I'm sure a few of you are already choking at your tongues at the thought of it , so thanks for reading. Don't expect to see any WIP's of the game in the future, especially not until I finish up design document and get it copyrighted. Even then, I've logged so many hours dedicating my life to this thing that I don't think I could do it!

It's a huge endeavor, one that will take me many more years. But it helps I'm going to college for this stuff though, I've really been learning a lot about computer animation and game development. It's very exciting

"If I have seen a little further it is by standing on the shoulders of Giants" -Isaac Newton
-Computer Animation Programming Major @ Baker.edu-
Jeku
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Posted: 3rd Feb 2008 07:48
You guys are all missing the point. It's not meant for adults, obviously

Little kids will play any game and think it's fun.


Osiris
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Posted: 3rd Feb 2008 08:08
Did you see the part I talked about? I nearly died laughing at it haha.

RIP Max-Tuesday, November 2 2007
You will be dearly missed.
Zaibatsu
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Posted: 3rd Feb 2008 08:10
It as so atrociously bad...

buy yet I couldn't stop myself from watching the whole 8 minute video...

draknir_
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Posted: 3rd Feb 2008 08:20
why are you all bashing it? yes the game design looks horrid, the story is ridiculous, the graphics are outdated, and the voice acting is awful, but put it all together and its effing hilarious! I laughed myself silly just watching the video, now im downloading the game to see what its like XD
ionstream
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Posted: 3rd Feb 2008 09:02
This is either a parody or made by very determined 12 year olds.

Drink Pepsi!
Fallout
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Posted: 3rd Feb 2008 12:39
On the bible comments and it being an untapped market, I'm inclined to agree. In fact, the businessman inside me thinks it'd be a brilliant idea to give the old book a read, and then produce a game based on it.


Sid Sinister
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Posted: 3rd Feb 2008 14:25
Quote: "On the bible comments and it being an untapped market, I'm inclined to agree. In fact, the businessman inside me thinks it'd be a brilliant idea to give the old book a read, and then produce a game based on it."


I'm not even basing my off of events in the bible, I think it would have been too much for the target audience to handle. The teachings of it though? Now that's a different story

"If I have seen a little further it is by standing on the shoulders of Giants" -Isaac Newton
-Computer Animation Programming Major @ Baker.edu-
tha_rami
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Posted: 3rd Feb 2008 14:32
Actually, the game is pretty funny and in a way, well put together. It's hilarious in terms of media and controls leave something to be desired but I enjoyed playing it and using the skillz of the animals was fun too!


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Cash Curtis II
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Posted: 3rd Feb 2008 14:39
Quote: "A smelly turd on crack."

That about sums it up

Quote: "On the bible comments and it being an untapped market, I'm inclined to agree. In fact, the businessman inside me thinks it'd be a brilliant idea to give the old book a read, and then produce a game based on it."

That is an interesting idea. I've seen the odd religious game here and there and they've never been any good by any set of standards. It bet a line of games aimed at children and others aimed at teens would do really well.


Come see the WIP!
Tom J
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Posted: 3rd Feb 2008 15:05 Edited at: 3rd Feb 2008 15:06
Quite possibly Worst. Game Idea. Ever.

edit: But I still want to see the demo of course
Seppuku Arts
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Posted: 3rd Feb 2008 15:46
A religious game would sell, but by the standards of some of our games, for it to be popular, Jesus would need a BFG and God would need to kick some serious heathen butt! Seriously though, as long as the game doesn't indoctrinate kids and teaches them about the values and teachings of a particular religion, it'd sell.

Exit Pursued by man-bear-pig
Dazzag
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Posted: 3rd Feb 2008 18:34 Edited at: 3rd Feb 2008 18:35
I remember reading an article about a religious games company. Essentially they were just pumping out cheap generic crud on their website and barely surviving (not a massive see in the shops company really), then they took the extreme step of changing all their games to be religious, even though the company was not exactly full of religious people or anything. Exactly the same games, but you know instead of Mike the skateboarding hero, you had Moses the skateboarding hero with a beard, and so on. Totally turned them around so the article said. Can't remember their name they changed to, but was something like Bible Games or somesuch obvious non-imaginative effort. At the end of the day who cares about coolness in the industry and the like, if you get 10x the sales, equaling 10x the money (when you are struggling to get by with family and mortgage), then what would you do?

Hmmm, perhaps a slight name change to HolyBasic would help things a little though...

Cheers

I am 99% probably lying in bed right now... so don't blame me for crappy typing
Current fave quote : "She was like a candle in the wind.... unreliable...."
Sid Sinister
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Posted: 3rd Feb 2008 19:16
Quote: "Hmmm, perhaps a slight name change to HolyBasic would help things a little though... "


LOL That was the best thing that you could have said there, lol.

Quote: "A religious game would sell, but by the standards of some of our games, for it to be popular, Jesus would need a BFG and God would need to kick some serious heathen butt! Seriously though, as long as the game doesn't indoctrinate kids and teaches them about the values and teachings of a particular religion, it'd sell."


Exactly. I mean I picture a cool christian video game being something like Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy, only just switch out where they get their power from, add in a few tie ins storyline and plot wise and boom; A kick butt secular christian game. And who says it needs to be about events or even people in the bible?

"If I have seen a little further it is by standing on the shoulders of Giants" -Isaac Newton
-Computer Animation Programming Major @ Baker.edu-
Satchmo
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Posted: 3rd Feb 2008 19:52
That's genius, a Christian bible revolved program language, it would print money.

bitJericho
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Posted: 3rd Feb 2008 20:02 Edited at: 3rd Feb 2008 20:03
And here's our tagline.

Play God with HolyBASIC.

Or

HolyBASIC, make games even God would be impressed with.

Or

HolyBASIC, making games is not just for the hell-bound anymore.


Hurray for teh logd!
Accoun
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Posted: 3rd Feb 2008 20:19 Edited at: 3rd Feb 2008 20:21
The dammed's guide to playing God in holyBASIC

1 REPEAT
2 PRINT BIBLE (2TM 2,3);
3 DESTROY SATAN;
4 MAKE APOCALYPSE;
5 UNTIL NOSATAN=TRUE;

Make games, not war.
Jeku
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Posted: 3rd Feb 2008 23:17 Edited at: 3rd Feb 2008 23:18
I've been asked to unlock this and give it a 2nd try, and I've also deleted some posts.

@Everyone

Please watch what you say and quit the religious bashing. Next time the thread will be locked and slaps will be handed out


CoffeeGrunt
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Posted: 3rd Feb 2008 23:19
@Cash

Zero Punctuation is quality, isn't it?

Cash Curtis II
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Posted: 3rd Feb 2008 23:33
Jeku,

Thanks for unlocking the thread. Hopefully everyone here can mind their manners. This isn't a religious discussion by any means. It is certainly a discussion about a largely untouched genre of games that specifically address religious topics, perhaps with a bias toward the general lack of quality in said genre. What you feel about the games is important, not what you feel about religion. That has absolutely nothing to do with the quality of the games.

@coffee grunt -
It really is. I look forward to each Wednesday, I always get a laugh out of Ben's reviews.


Come see the WIP!
n008
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Posted: 4th Feb 2008 00:40 Edited at: 4th Feb 2008 00:58
[MOD EDIT]Did you read Jeku's post? No religion debates! Slapped for 2 days[/MOD]

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tha_rami
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Posted: 4th Feb 2008 07:36
Whoa, N008 is getting slapped around a lot lately. Trying to get the spot of a certain no longer present entity?

In any case, religious games... ah well, my idea of a game is that it must be challenging, it must speak to the imagination of the target audience and it must be fun to play.


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Alsan
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Posted: 4th Feb 2008 10:19
I downloaded the shareware version and played it..

It's actually not that bad, I've definitely played worse games in my gaming career. ^^

It just makes absolutely no sense at all, and that's why it is so entertaining.

Wouldn't buy it for my children (I don't have one yet! ^^), though, because the first game I want them to play is Half Life 1, so that they have a good view for quality.

Roxas
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Posted: 4th Feb 2008 14:19
Quote: "I downloaded the shareware version and played it..

It's actually not that bad, I've definitely played worse games in my gaming career. ^^

It just makes absolutely no sense at all, and that's why it is so entertaining.

Wouldn't buy it for my children (I don't have one yet! ^^), though, because the first game I want them to play is Half Life 1, so that they have a good view for quality."


No you have to start from games that has really bad visuals but is awesome from gameplay and story..
Then these kids will put gameplay before visuals


Click For Details!
n008
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Posted: 4th Feb 2008 21:52
I wasn't debating anything...



"I have faith, that I shall win the race, even though I have no legs, and am tied to a tree." ~Mark75

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