Story isn't that bad. A little cliche, but not that bad.
Here's a rewrite. Same story, but a little more gripping.
My name is Conner Williams. At 17 years old, I have it all: a dad who loves to hunt, a hot girlfriend and great grades at school. Recently, rumors have started to pop up about the nearby EcoMission Warehouse. People are saying that the warehouse isn't that at all. It's some sort of training facility. Against my better judgement, I decided to find the truth behind all these rumors. What was in that warehouse?
One night, while my dad was at work, I decided to sneak out, taking a blaster with 2 rounds in it. As I reached for the door on the side of the facility, only the noise of the hovercars zooming over head filled my ears. I was hesitant to open that door. I'm not sure why I did, honestly. When I went through, the door behind me slammed with a metal clang. The first door I came upon was marked: "Virtual Reality Training". So that was it. It wasn't really a warehouse at all, but a training ground for some sort soldier. Again, curiousity got the better half of me, and I found myself entering that training room. Why I did it, I'm not quite sure, but this is my Reality Check.
Hope you like it. Feel free to use whatever part of it you want.
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