Put each cockroach on a cocktail stick and index them by plumpness, taste value and- oh wait, you DON'T wanna cook 'em? That's just madness! Didn't you know all pests can make a delectable stew or pie? Infact, here's a list of culinary suggestions to help you prepare and serve your roaches best:
1) Ensure only quality roaches are used- these are usually found behind your fridge.
2) Wash your hands. You don't want germs on those fresh, clean roaches.
3) Decide how they will be used best with your peers in mind. They can be ground into condiments, cooked fresh and served with hot roach sauce or served cold in bite-sized segments.
4) When chopping them, ensure they are alive. You don't want any corpses on your chopping board.
5) Make sure your guests have had the necessary injections in anticipation of the meal, as some dishes may provoke undesired side effects (nausea, vomiting, death)
6) Spices and herbs always go hand-in-hand with all roach dishes. This is a preparatory tenet by which you will lay the foundation for your cooking.
7) Squirmers are likely to be stringy and should be discarded.
8) Finally, make sure your guests have napkins to wipe the blood and bones from their lips during and after the meal.
I hope this helps answer your questions. If anyone needs help getting rid of mosquitoes, possums or verrucas, just let me know.
If it feels good, it's a sin.
