Many of my friends joined a cult where if they dishonoured people they had to commit suicide, 'seppuku' was their favourite way to go and they asked me to be the guy to cut off their head. They started calling me 'seppuku' as that quite quickly become my reputation - "the guy who helps those guys commit seppuku', it didn't last long, friends obsessed with seppuku don't seem to last long.
I realised that I hated the internet and hoped that if everybody called me seppuku, as they did, then everybody internet would die, but it didn't really work and my plan failed. My goal now is to send a nuke down the telephone line, I have a plan and everything, the only problem is that it's difficult for civilians to get nuclear weapons. That and finding a broadband connection wide enough.
Or you could believe the lie I tell to people that I don't trust, after all some people may blab to the authorities and that "I thought it was a cool name after researching some Japanesey stuff." You can believe that if you want.
