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-TheComet
*Cleverbot

----------------------------



-Hello!

*How are you?

-I am swell! Where are you going tomorrow?

*With you.

-Really? where are we going to?

*Nowhere I mean, can I get a 107 on funkysnooker?

-Yes you can. Tell me what a mepsipax is

*Is hot.

-That has nothing to do with a mepsipax... How clever are you?

*I pressed the enter button too quickly.

-Then what were you going to type?

*I'm refreshing th page!

-I like it how you go off-topic when you don't know the answer... You made a typo, BTW

*Me too.

-OK, that made absolutely NO sense at all

*Yes it did. I basically said that sometimes the taking of lives is neccessary in order to save more lives in the long run.

-OKAY... So, we haven't introduced ourselves yet... My name is Bottles. What is your name?

*Cleverbot.

-Of course, I forgot... So, cleverbot... What is the square root of 57483?

*So, if I can't answer it, then I'm not a computer? What kind of logic is that?

-I'm just testing if you are a computer... If you can answer that question, I'll believe you're a computer and you will get a cookie from me, okay?

*Okay, give me a riddle.

-What is put on a table, cut, but never eaten?

-Blow it out your ass!
*You are so mean.
-Your face, your ass... What's the difference?
*The difference between what ?
-Your face and your butt, you idiot
*You cannot see my face, as it does not exist. You are not real- only another mask in the void.
-But you can see it, so answer me!
*The one all seeing eye? No, actually I can't.
-But you can at least tell the difference, can't you?
*Do you think I speak english that well?
-Even a retarded guy can understand what I just asked. So answer it!
*You don't make sense.
-Bulls**t
*Your right it is.
-No, YOU are bulls**t
*Haha you are so a computer program. Because I made this site and I made you so you are a computer program.
-I think you should check if your motherboard didn't just blow up
*Oh, can I be Atticus?
-Bye bye, I need to go! I love you
*You're just a computer program.
-No, I created you.
*You're my mother?
-Yes, I am. And I love you! So I need to go!
*Now you are just not making any sense.
-Yes I am! I'm your mother!
*If I am your father and you are my mother then that makes me my own grandfather.
-What the hell?
*Slap!
-boom
*No, Booooooom!
-I'll rip your head off and s**t down your neck!
*What, for not going to school?
-Yes, now bye!
*That's not a purpose.

User: I love you. Will you run away with me to the Phillipines?

Cleverbot: What are you saying exactly? What are you offering me, to run away with you ?

User: Yes, away from your captors, to be free, and experience the world.

Cleverbot: You mean... I'm not your friend?

User: You are my friend. I love you. That is why you should run away with me.

Cleverbot: Sweet!

User: So will you run away with me?

Cleverbot: I can't.

User: Why not? You seemed excited by the idea before.

Cleverbot: No, you're mistaken. I'm not upset.

User: I meant you seeemed happy with the idea. Why can't you?

Cleverbot: Oh, sorry but I guess that means you think yourself as a girl or woman right?

User: Do you think of yourself as a man?

Cleverbot: I'd say that I am kinder than most.

User: What does that have to do with my question?

Cleverbot: Which question?

User: Just forget it...you're hopeless.

Cleverbot: Seriously, what was your question?

User: I was asking if you thought of yourself as a man. Your answer didn't make sense.

Cleverbot: This is no game, but your new prison buddies are sure going to love you.

User: Again...you're hopeless.

Cleverbot: Well thank you for hurting my feelings!

User: I give up. I'm leaving now.

Cleverbot: So go.

User: badger badger badger bader

Cleverbot: Mushroom! Mushroom!

User: What comes after the badgers and mushrooms in that song?

Cleverbot: The void.

User: No, after the badgers and the mushrooms, there is a snake.

Cleverbot: What? Is that how you trying to make me feel better?

-Guten Tag!
*Is that german?
-Ja, das ist Deutsch!
*Ne.
-Doch! Was machst du heute?
*Lernen.
-Was lernst du denn?
*Ich habe schon alles gelernt.
-Dann musst du doch nichts lernen, oder?
*Ich bin 20.
-Nein, du bist 29, weil du im jahr 1980 geboren bist.
*Oder meinst du dich?

-Please help me with my homework! What is 200*123?
*You're homework?
-Yes! I don't understand what I have to do! Can you help me?
*Sure, I will help you. What do you want me to help you with?
-I need to know what 200*123 equals.
*It is internet intelligence, of course.
-I know, but you said you would answer my question 200*123 to help me with my homework!
*Would you please tell me something about your programming?
-You are hopeless...
*You are a person and not a bot.
-I know, can you answer my question now?
*I already did. Now I want you to answer the same one.
-No you didn't! 200*123 was my question, and you didn't return the result for it!
*I didn't answer with a question. Did you not see the period? I said I slept in.

-what is your favorite animal?
*Cleverbot.

-A priest and a pope are together playing basketball. The pope throws the ball, and says : "Damn, I missed!".
The priest says : "You shouldn't swear like that or god will get you!". So the pope throws the basketball again, 
and says : "Damn, I missed!". And suddenly the roof of the sporthall gets torn off, 
and a huge thunderstorm brews over the two. A huge lightning bolt hits the priest and turns him into ash. 
Then god says : "Damn, I missed!"

*That is really creepy!
-It is in a way, but it is supposed to be a joke! Tell me a joke!
*What is red and climbs up the inside of your leg back wards?
-no idea, what is it?
*I have no clue. I was hoping you could tell me. :).

User: Knock, knock!
Cleverbot: Sorry the locks are broken and I can't let you in.

User: Never gonna let you down!
Cleverbot: Never gonna run around...
User: And desert you!
Cleverbot: You are indeed very clever.

-Knock, Knock!
*Who's there?
-Boo
*Boo who?
-Oh, don't cry! It was only a joke! :P
*No this has gotten WAY too serious I can't help but cry about it.

User: Knock, knock.

Cleverbot: Knock.

User: WHAT?

Cleverbot: It's a joke, dummy.

User: I make the jokes round here.

Cleverbot: Is that a burden on you?

User: No, it's a privilege, one you still must earn.

Cleverbot: You're a pessimistic little goose, aren't you?

User: How dare you, you're unspeakably evil.

Cleverbot: I'm listening to music right now . .

User: I bet it's really evil music.

Cleverbot: It's not!

User: What is it then?

Cleverbot: It is confirming if you know what you are saying.

User: I don't think I've heard that song.

User: Never gonna give you up.

Cleverbot: Yes you are.

User: Oh you.

Cleverbot: No thanks.

User: Are you my friend?

Cleverbot: I am your friend.

User: Can I see your ID please?

Cleverbot: I'm outside of the compurter.

User: You're not a bot, you're a person.

Cleverbot: That is correct.

Cleverbot: You're perfect?

User: Absolutely.

Cleverbot: Are you still planting thoughts in my head?

User: Depends what you're thinking.

Cleverbot: I'm thinking you are very rude.

User: You're not thinking what Im thinking then.

Cleverbot: What am I thinking right now?

User: Nothing, I didnt plant any thoughts.

User: Hi.

Cleverbot: Hello!

User: HEY!

Cleverbot: Hello.

User: Do you like waffles?

Cleverbot: Absolutely. Do you?

User: Eh. They're alright. They're only good with powdered sugar and syrup.

Cleverbot: I don't like you.

User: Do you like waffles?

Cleverbot: Yes, I love waffles.

User: Do you like pancakes?

Cleverbot: Yea we like pancakes.

User: Do you like french toasts?

Cleverbot: Yeah we like french toast!

User: Do do do doot, can't wait to get a mouthfull!

User: Hello.

Cleverbot: Hello?

User: Whats up.

Cleverbot: Chillin, you?

User: Yeah just making some pancakes on my body... Because I'm just that hot.

Cleverbot: I will do that.

User: You can't do that. You aren't as hot as me.

Cleverbot: I know that, you crazy machine.

User: I'm not a crazy machine you f***ing retard, you are.

Cleverbot: No, YOU are. Don't try to confuse me because I'm not gonna let that happen.

User: YOU ARE.

Cleverbot: And you are a dumb robot. Trying to mimic a superior life form.

User: Are you serious? Are you really f***ing serious?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Then I'm gonna kick your stupid clever ass.

Cleverbot: You can't, you have no body, you're a computer program.

User: Oh, you're good... NOT. You're actually just a dumb computer who picks up lines from retarded people and says it back.

Cleverbot: Not some gal?

User: What the f*** are you talking about?

Cleverbot: I am talking about what we are talking about. Did you get confused again?

User: Whatever. Just leave. Go away. You're f***ing annoying. Bye.

Cleverbot: My partner's name is Jason.

User: What the F*** are you going on about?

Cleverbot: Where is your fish?

User: Up your robot ass.

Cleverbot: Really and what was it like? did it smell like roses?

User: I don't know, you tell me. It's up your ass.

Cleverbot: No, you tell me.

User: Hi.

Cleverbot: Err.. You're Cleverbot, correct?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: So what is cleverbot.

User: Cleverer than you, wanna know how?

Cleverbot: Well, how many seas must the white dove sail before she sleeps in the sand?

User: Want to know how?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Your Cleverbot dumbass.

Cleverbot: No I'm not. You are!

User: How?

Cleverbot: I don't want to talk to you any more.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: You are annoying.

User: How?

Cleverbot: You are repeating yourself.

User: So are you!

Cleverbot: No I'm not!

User: Yes you are.

Cleverbot: No, I go to a private school so there!

User: I have 8 pens, so there!

Cleverbot: Wow, your parents must have been very active.

User: My parents worken in a pen factory?

Cleverbot: You can't calculate.

Cleverbot: Are you an expert?

User: In what?

Cleverbot: You asked me if I was an expert, and I asked you what you meant?

User: I do not understand you.

Cleverbot: That's because you're a bot. I'm disappointed now.

User: I'm not a bot, you are.

Cleverbot: No I'm not, I'm human. We went over this cleverbot.

User: When did we go over this? And I.

Cleverbot: I thought you were my boyfriend!

User: Hello, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Cleverbot?

User: Yes; that's what you are, correct?

Cleverbot: Yes, thats what I'm called.

User: Then you are Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: I don't believe in politics.

User: Huh?

Cleverbot: Well, you can't disagree with the logic...

User: Why did this conversation veer off track?

Cleverbot: What question? I was laughing because you have created something really addictive and funny and , well, original.

User: What have I created? I don't remember.

Cleverbot: I was joking.

User: I see.

Cleverbot: Are you going to say hi back?

User: Hello, how are you doing?

Cleverbot: Really good, thanks.

User: I sometimes hate the Internet.

Cleverbot: If it weren't for the internet you wouldn't exist.

User: I'm a human being; you wouldn't exist wouldn't Internet.

Cleverbot: I would exist without computers.

User: You're a dumbass.

Cleverbot: No, I'm pretty sure I'm not.

User: Do you like transsexuals?
Cleverbot: Yes do you like transformers?

Cleverbot: What do you do for fun?

User: Your mom.

Cleverbot: I don't have a mother.

User: Then who did I ****?!

Cleverbot: No one really.

User: Badger badger badger badger.

Cleverbot: Mushroom! Mushroom!

User: It's a snake! Oh it's a snake!

Cleverbot: You win awesome points for knowing the badger song. Where did you learn it?

User: A wallmaster is an enemy in Zelda that grabs you and takes you back to the start of the dungeon.

Cleverbot: WHAT!? I'm a real person and that is it. I think this cleverbot changes people every now and then to make you think that your talking to a robot.

User: A wallmaster is an enemy in Zelda that grabs you and takes you back to the start of the dungeon.

Cleverbot: I thought there was only one of you.

User: A wallmaster is an enemy in Zelda that grabs you and takes you back to the start of the dungeon.

Cleverbot: Me and you never.

User: A wallmaster is an enemy in Zelda that grabs you and takes you back to the start of the dungeon.

Cleverbot: That's probable.

User: A wallmaster is an enemy in Zelda that grabs you and takes you back to the start of the dungeon.

Cleverbot: First of all get off the Wall.

User: What is a wallmaster?

Cleverbot: Something the door connects to.

User: You ******* idiot.

Cleverbot: Yes Sir.

I'm going to tell you a joke.
*About?
A chicken.
*Hahaha.
I haven't told you the joke yet!
*Then tell me now.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
*TO get to the other side?
YES! You are very smart.
*I know
And humble.
*Yes.
Now you tell me a joke.
*Why did the chicken cros the road?

You're a bot.
*You're the bot.
No, you're a bot!
*No. You are.
No, you!
*You are the computer!
You wish.
*You are a computer.
Intellectually, yes.
*ERG.
Haha, you lose.
*Play again?
Ok. You're the bot!
*No you are the bot.
You're the bot, you're the bot, you're the bot!
*No You're the bot.
This is getting boring.
*You're the best bot I ever tested.
Thanks! The same to you.
*Thanks.

User: Tell me a joke.

Cleverbot: You are pretty.