Sorry your browser is not supported!

You are using an outdated browser that does not support modern web technologies, in order to use this site please update to a new browser.

Browsers supported include Chrome, FireFox, Safari, Opera, Internet Explorer 10+ or Microsoft Edge.

Geek Culture / Bazzelwaki- A Web Comic

Author
Message
Bizar Guy
20
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 20th Apr 2005
Location: Bostonland
Posted: 6th Jun 2010 19:24 Edited at: 6th Jun 2010 19:28
Link


Hello Apollo! It's me, Bizar Guy. I've been gone most of a while, as college can be really time consuming, especially with two majors (which is why one will become a minor :/). But anyway's it's summer break and I'm home.

For those of you who don't know, I'm an artist before game developer. If you don't know about my games, well I will be posting Dream up again in a bit once I've got a new demo ready. But anyways, I am an artist first, and a comic artist at that. I've been drawing a web comic for a while, but have not really advertised it very much until now. Now I'm setting up project wonderful adds, and am doing a lot to get word out that I am drawing this comic.

Here's a look at the first page:


The website is done in ComicPress, a theme for WordPress.
A warning, the first two pages are new. I am re-drawing the opening. So it will be a bit shocking to see the quality drop in the pages I haven't replaced yet!

And here are the links:

First Page of Bazzelwaki


Home Page of Bazzelwaki


Deviant Art Account


Any comments and/or criticisms are welcome and greatly appreciated! Post them here or comment on the site, I will see both!

Thank you,
-Ben Prager

Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Hobgoblin Lord
19
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 29th Oct 2005
Location: Fall River, MA USA
Posted: 6th Jun 2010 21:38
Link
The Good:
I like the colors/feel of your pages, most of the compositions and non standard frames are nice.

The Bad:
The story does not really engage me I went pretty far in and it just never clicked. Your consistency needs work.

The Ugly:
90% of the poses (especially action poses) feel weak and unnatural. Your proportions vary drastically (arms are the major culprit).

Its a good effort, better than I am going to do for sure, but as a comic reader I would not pick this up after thumbing through it and even as a free web comic I would likely not follow it.

Take a look at guys like John Buscema, Ron Lim, Barry Windsor Smith for great action/ natural poses.

iTitans SEO Services

Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Quik
16
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 3rd Jul 2008
Location: Equestria!
Posted: 6th Jun 2010 22:32 Edited at: 6th Jun 2010 22:38
Link
the l33t speak is keeping me from reading, since it is just plainly annoying...(on the first few pages, dunno if it will come more of it)

nvm, the l33t speak was just temporaryXD well the concept is rather interesting, think ill try reading it^^


[Q]uik, Quiker than most
Back to top
Profile PM
lazerus
17
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 30th Apr 2008
Location:
Posted: 6th Jun 2010 22:44
Link
Still keepin uptodate, i love web comics so i tend to burn through alot of them


http://lazerus-reborn.deviantart.com/
Back to top
Profile PM Email
Bizar Guy
20
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 20th Apr 2005
Location: Bostonland
Posted: 7th Jun 2010 00:00 Edited at: 7th Jun 2010 00:24
Link
@Hobgoblin Lord, thank you for the crit! I must admit it depressed me initially, but I really appreciate it. Could you please show me where you stopped reading? I am interested to know because I agree I have quite a bit of trouble with poses, though as the comic progresses they do improve, and the current fight I am on has considerably better poses. The arms should not vary (at least in the newer pages), as I use a sceletal system . Could you give me some examples? Pages 3-8 are all over a year old, and are being replaced. I'm on a schedule unfortunately though, so they still suck but I need to launch anyways. That's why the first two comics are new. For a while after page 8 the pages are still pretty old but were re-colored.
I agree the story needs work. There's some really interesting stuff that is going on, but I have not gotten far enough that the reader gets to that stuff mostly. Right now it still looks like just a parody on the internet.

@Quik, thanks for saying you'll read it! Yeah, the l33t speak is pretty annoying... I think I'll change it so the only person who speaks it is the head of 4chan. The new intro I'm drawing has a lot more happening, and is better written. I'll make sure it stays readable
edit: hmm, I have an idea. Will try something out.

@lazerus, thanks a bunch man for supporting my comic all this time. I hope to update a lot more, twice a week is my goal currently.

Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
SikaSina Games
17
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 5th Dec 2007
Location: Reading, UK
Posted: 7th Jun 2010 01:47
Link
This is quite interesting. I never usually read comics but this one gave me a chuckle at some points . Nice work. I didn't really mind the 1337 talk anyway, I think it made sense.

-SSG

--=. ,=--
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Shadowtroid
15
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 23rd Dec 2009
Location: nope
Posted: 7th Jun 2010 02:03
Link
Quote: "I didn't really mind the 1337 talk anyway, I think it made sense.
"

Same.

I like it. The story makes no sense (universal tunneling machine?) but I love the internet references.

Back to top
Profile PM Email
xplosys
19
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 5th Jan 2006
Playing: FPSC Multiplayer Games
Posted: 7th Jun 2010 02:26
Link
I don't know how to crit this, especially the art but that seems pretty well done and there were some laughs in it. I don't know much about web comics vs comic books but I can tell you that I lost interest after about eight or ten pages. It seems to be all over the place and I was never taken in by any story. I feel like I should have had some idea of what it was about or where it was going but I didn't. Maybe it's just me.

Back to top
Profile PM
Bizar Guy
20
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 20th Apr 2005
Location: Bostonland
Posted: 7th Jun 2010 03:23
Link
@SikaSina Games, thanks! I'm glad you like it! I'll keep the l33t where it makes sense then.

@Shadowtroid, thank you! The story will make sense, but I am very aware I haven't gotten to that part yet. :/ That starts happening in 6-7 pages I think.

@xplosys, gah, I was afraid of that with people losing interest while still on the old pages. Their re-writes involve more interesting action and dialog. And yeah, the flow is still off.

Thank you all very much for commenting! This is really helpful! It's confirmed some of my fears, and given light to some things I need to consider. It's also reassured me that certain things do work.

Please keep posting comments if you have read the comic! This is very helpful!!

Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Shadowtroid
15
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 23rd Dec 2009
Location: nope
Posted: 7th Jun 2010 03:33
Link
Quote: "The story will make sense"


Good.

Also, just one question. Is Bazzelwaki a thing in the story, or is it just a random word you decided to use?

Back to top
Profile PM Email
Lonnehart
16
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 17th Apr 2009
Location:
Posted: 7th Jun 2010 04:48
Link
Keep drawing and writing and look for those things you think you can improve. Most likely a lot of your critics will be brutal because they're being honest, so take what they say with a grain of salt and just keep going (improving as you go).

Oh... and watch out. There will be times when you'll find yourself so disillusioned that you'll stop doing your comic. I know that feeling ALL TOO WELL...

As for proportions, you can use the "framework" method before you draw. Basically stick figures that you flesh out once you have your poses down. Your skill will grow from there.

I'll say this... you've got potential. For what it's worth though, I'm not that much better (yeah.. linked MY webcomic in my signature). But I'm drawing because I enjoy making my comic regardless of the crit I get (though I do take a lot of it seriously).

Back to top
Profile PM
JLMoondog
Moderator
16
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 18th Jan 2009
Location: Paradox
Posted: 7th Jun 2010 04:48
Link
Really cool. I love the fight scenes. The art style is great, I love your art style so don't change. The story seemed like it was building to something, though you haven't reached that something yet.

Good stuff, can't wait to see more.


Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Hobgoblin Lord
19
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 29th Oct 2005
Location: Fall River, MA USA
Posted: 7th Jun 2010 10:52 Edited at: 7th Jun 2010 11:04
Link
http://bazzelwaki.com/archives/193

was the last page I read, though now that I look there was only one more page . I kept reading to give it a chance to grab me. I dont have the time right now to go back through the panels but when I do I will give you the examples.

take a look at these vids there is some good material here
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3y6k_vk_Vg

quite a few of the vids are below where you are of course but I know there are some good sections on poses

iTitans SEO Services

Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Bizar Guy
20
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 20th Apr 2005
Location: Bostonland
Posted: 7th Jun 2010 22:19
Link
Quote: "Also, just one question. Is Bazzelwaki a thing in the story, or is it just a random word you decided to use?"

Bazzelwaki... may be the name of the comic. Or possibly a magical centaur with a beard that does not actually ever appear ever. Heck, maybe it will appear in the comic. I liked how it sounded though.

@Lonnehart, thanks for the encouragement! Lol though, I should have a step by step of how I draw the comic, and add it to the site. Look at my figures for a moment, and you realize they look stiff and have award poses because the skeletal system is so detailed and rigid. I need to tone it down a bit in certain ways to make my characters more fluid. There are moe steps to making each page than even when I did oil painting
I agree making comics is about the love of doing it. I'm not sure I could work on a comic I didn't want to.

@Josh Mooney, thanks! Yeah, I've spend almost every page building up to what about to happen. It basically start on the next page (and goes on for a bit), which will be up Thursday!

@Hobgoblin Lord, ah yeah, you saw it all so far then. Thanks for the link! Yeah, I've known all of that for years, but the section on dramatic poses was really good. I'll do some practices for the next comics I pencil based on what the vid had. Can't wait to hear back when you've got time

I've added the first of two pages to replace the original first page! I don't think I've got the time left today, but the next part should be up tomorrow.

4chan liivvveess!!


Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Shadowtroid
15
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 23rd Dec 2009
Location: nope
Posted: 7th Jun 2010 22:48
Link
Aw, Thursday...I'm going to be gone then.

Well, it'll be here when I get back home.

Back to top
Profile PM Email
Bizar Guy
20
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 20th Apr 2005
Location: Bostonland
Posted: 8th Jun 2010 06:30
Link
New Page


Is the l33t too hard to read? I can tone it down and spell some more words correctly if it's unreadable to some. But otherwise, I am super happy with how this page turned out

k, I got 450 views about today (I am advertising currently). My goal is 1000 views in a day by Friday.

If you have read the comic and have feedback you have not posted yet, please do! It is greatly appreciated.

Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Bizar Guy
20
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 20th Apr 2005
Location: Bostonland
Posted: 9th Jun 2010 21:18
Link
Well, I was hoping someone would have commented, between these, but oh well :/

I've finished a current update! It occurred to me at the moment it's more important to build up comics, and then later settle into a schedule.

Click on the thumbnail to go to the page:




PLEASE, if you have any opinion on the comic, please post it here or somewhere on the comic page. You do not have to register or anything there!!

Your signature has been erased by a mod because it's larger than 600x120
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Shadowtroid
15
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 23rd Dec 2009
Location: nope
Posted: 9th Jun 2010 23:30
Link
I think it looks good. Makes absolutely no sense, and little happens though. Maybe in the future have a bit more dialogue. Or at least if it's all action, make it a bit more than him standing there.

But yes, it looks nice.

Back to top
Profile PM Email
Lonnehart
16
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 17th Apr 2009
Location:
Posted: 10th Jun 2010 01:56
Link
I'd put up an alt/mirror/whatever it's called on Drunkduck. Reason why my comic is there is because it has a comment system. If you're looking for people to comment on your comic that'd be a place to start. Having people comment in a forum thread might just flood it a bit more than the admins would like, I think...

I'm sure there are other webcomic sites out there with comment systems, though. So shop around.

Back to top
Profile PM
Bizar Guy
20
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 20th Apr 2005
Location: Bostonland
Posted: 15th Jun 2010 00:12
Link
Well, I've added two pages since I last posted, and am doing re-working. http://bazzelwaki.com/

@ Shadowtroid, yeah, talking starts next comic

@ Lonnehart, lol comicpress is a blog, it has a comment system. I was just concerned because I was hoping people here would comment more on my comic.

Your signature has been erased by a mod because it's larger than 600x120
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
TheComet
17
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 18th Oct 2007
Location: I`m under ur bridge eating ur goatz.
Posted: 15th Jun 2010 14:45
Link
I enjoyed it a lot and it made me laugh at some points, the l33t talk fits nicely, but what didn't make sense to me is why the group of spammers wear bunny ears on one page, and then the next page they have red robes on and the bunny ears are gone...

The fighting scenes are a bit lame, maybe you could add some more power to them by drawing the characters in better poses? I don't know, I know nothing about drawing...

TheComet

Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Bizar Guy
20
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 20th Apr 2005
Location: Bostonland
Posted: 16th Jun 2010 23:42
Link
Quote: "bunny ears on one page, and then the next page they have red robes on and the bunny ears are gone."

Well, they're supposed to be cat ears (I'll see what I can do to make it obvious). They disappear because that entire fight scene needs to be redrawn- it's all over a year old and sucks. In fact, I'm going to be removing that fight scene basically, with a flashback and you come back after everyone's dead. The way I wrote it out fixes that bit of the story.

That I guess explains how I'm dealing with the fight scenes. The second? Well you may notice the very most recent pages are much better, part of it is the coloring (I know the fight is still slow and not great, but I need practice), or at least color is the part I can fix. I can slightly improve some of the worse poses, like when he's flying through the air. I've just learned a very fast and professional coloring technique, which I'll be using to re-color all the out of date comics.

Thank you very much for looking at my comic, and I'm really glad you enjoyed it.


Check out the site though! I've really made it look a lot more professional, and added a new opening, as well as replaced the text thank you at the front with a cover, saying "Book One" (which is the actual name of the comic, as strange as it seems)
http://bazzelwaki.com/

Your signature has been erased by a mod because it's larger than 600x120
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Back to top

Login to post a reply

Server time is: 2025-05-24 01:55:53
Your offset time is: 2025-05-24 01:55:53