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Geek Culture / So yeah, people pick on me because I make games and don't have many friends. :)

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C0wbox
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Posted: 14th Jun 2010 01:02 Edited at: 14th Jun 2010 01:02
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I thought I'd see if anyone here suffers from a similar problem and if anyone has any solutions/advice?

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lazerus
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Posted: 14th Jun 2010 01:11 Edited at: 14th Jun 2010 01:14
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Do a barrel roll!

Edit ill post a proper answer later, i couldnt resist before i went to work thou


http://lazerus-reborn.deviantart.com/
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Indicium
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Posted: 14th Jun 2010 01:34
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Never lie down, never sit back, do whatever you want and set your own track

Don't let anybody get you down, stand up to them and tell them to get the hell outta your face. As for not having many friends, it's easy to make new ones, just say hi to people, be a nice guy, don't be nasty until it's needed.

Rawwrr. Sig Fail.
Newcastle is awesome
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C0wbox
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Posted: 14th Jun 2010 01:40
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xD

Both, very valid posts.

It's ok lazerus, you can post a new one later - That 1 worked as an awesome response.

But yeh - they don't really get me down as such, because I know I can function without friends, but I don't see why people need to be nasty in the first place. That's what upsets me if anything. There's just really no need for it; they don't "have" to look at my games, they don't "have" to pass judgement on me.

O well TGC is my friend when I'm in need, I can just open my browser and check some project progress on the WIP board or read endless numbers of threads just like this one ! (Sorry, it's my turn to have a moan at life)

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bergice
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Posted: 14th Jun 2010 01:45
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budokaiman
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Posted: 14th Jun 2010 01:58
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZiiW2tLxEU

The X10 Revival Competition
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C0wbox
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Posted: 14th Jun 2010 02:03
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"This video contains content from Vevo, who has blocked it in your country on copyright grounds."

England does not approve.

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budokaiman
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Posted: 14th Jun 2010 02:11
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRK5_V-RPOk
How's that one? The quality isn't as good though.

The X10 Revival Competition
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Libervurto
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Posted: 14th Jun 2010 02:33
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If you don't stick up for yourself you'll become the person everyone picks on because you are an easy target.
Just talk to people, if you are getting along with people no one will bully you, bullies only go after loners.
I only had a handful of friends at school but I got on well with everyone.

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Sepnon
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Posted: 14th Jun 2010 02:41
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i was like you some years ago..
just learn to turn off the computer
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Image All
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Posted: 14th Jun 2010 02:58
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBCrQv4w0uM


Remember those old guys? They made epic renders, I think one of them was called DaVinci, and all they used was MS Paint. Sometimes it's just skill....
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C0wbox
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Posted: 14th Jun 2010 03:21 Edited at: 14th Jun 2010 03:26
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@ budokaiman
Yeh that 1 works. It is an awesome song but unfortunately due to certain circumstances I can't take motivation from it.

@ OBese87
No no, this is the most passive way of bullying ever. - They don't do it to my face because they're cowards (and I'm bigger than them) so I can't stand up to them, because they aren't physically there to be stood up to. xD

@ Sepnon
Turning off the computer doesn't get me any better at what I enjoy and know other's can enjoy too.

@ Image All
Yeh, I've been listening to Shout2000, Guarded and TheGame all day xD Disturbed ftw

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Virtual Nomad
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Posted: 14th Jun 2010 03:53 Edited at: 14th Jun 2010 03:57
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honest advice:
consider the possibility that it's not because you make games and/or don't have many friends.

add: option 2, make a "bully blaster" game and give it to their friends.

Virtual Nomad @ California, USA
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Sepnon
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Posted: 14th Jun 2010 03:57
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yup, i like it too
but i were tired of being the nerdy guy.. now i skate, play guitar, go to partys and bla bla bla
sometimes computer makes you be (not_social, in english.. heelp!)
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Seppuku Arts
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Posted: 14th Jun 2010 04:00 Edited at: 14th Jun 2010 04:01
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I used to get bullied when I was at school, it ain't fun, mine was never over programming, people didn't get to know me well enough to even know what I liked...except cats obviously, it was the number of pets that my family owned that did it for me.

Can I offer advice? Well I didn't do anything about it to be fair. In hindsight, there were a lot of things I could have done.

But if you feel, "Oh noes, nobody likes me", then remember that A: these people are obviously not worth liking yourself and B: When you finish school and evolved into a much more mature environment, you wouldn't believe the number of friends you could potentially have, just as long as you remain a decent guy and are confidence enough to talk to people.

However,

Quote: "No no, this is the most passive way of bullying ever. - They don't do it to my face because they're cowards (and I'm bigger than them) so I can't stand up to them, because they aren't physically there to be stood up to. xD"


This isn't too different to what I faced, it was never physical, just verbal. I only ever got into 1 fight and that was before I was bullied. Getting into a fight believe it or not, if you win, can earn you respect, but you must understand what you're getting into, because only know what kind of people go to your school. The people I went to school with, I could have won a fight fairly easily and no one was a douche enough to stab anybody.

All I can say is either: stand up for yourself, roll with the punches as though it's banter (some people find it funny, if somebody says, "I ****ed you mum" perhaps retort, "I *****ed your uncle - when you do that, don't show a sign of weakness, because they'll exploit it, if their response is 'errr you gay, you like my uncle', tell them that their uncle enjoyed it...or something like that. Childish, immature, idiotic, I know, but if they're the type, they may soften up to you, so long as you're not aggressive about it) or you could just suck it up, not the ideal situation, because it solves bugger all.

Also, it's rare telling a teacher actually helps, sometimes it makes it worse.

I found the kind of reactions bullies like:

Snarky ones - "back off why don't you?"
Whiny ones - "Oh leave me alone!"
Angry or aggressive ones - "[swear word] you [insult]"
Defensive ones - "That's not true!"
Or a general lack of reaction.


But then I'm basing this entirely on my experience, yours may differ.

[apologies for beeps - if mods require removal, I shall, but I included them for a reason]

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C0wbox
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Posted: 14th Jun 2010 04:42 Edited at: 14th Jun 2010 04:44
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Ok ok I'm afraid I may have been a bit vague on the details.
I'm 18 (i.e. adult) and approaching the end of 6th form college, I mean, I have my second to last exam tomorrow.
So when I say I'm getting picked on, heh, well, how do adults pick on other adults?

The kind of thing I'm talking about is, posting on a disused forum provocative comments regarding my work or how [subject] is better than [something related to me] or even to the most recent extent of, posing as a willing team member of Soharix (which recruits through the internet of course) for about half a year before finally revealing it was all a big joke.

Now, I'm no stranger to people being nasty to me for no apparent reason, but I just feel it's gone a tad too far this time. And kind of gets to me as to why "humans" (you know, these clever little monkeys) must feel they've got to do this to a fellow human.

On a slightly related note, after this academic year is over I am moving to Scotland (from England) so I should be far enough away from them. This is a side effect of just simply wanting to move there anyway, but now I feel I must because there is nothing but family left for me here. This town isn't too big and word gets around quickly. I've lived here for 8 years and I feel I've rather exhausted all the nice people that may or may not live here. - They either turned against me for no reason or fizzled out of existence (like the many female companions I developed... - they all seemed to disappear the minute they got a boyfriend :S)

@ Virtual Nomad
Oh yeah, I've definitely considered every aspect of me people may find fault with. It narrows down to the following:
* I make games as a hobby/career path
* I seem to lose friends like I lose ... um (actually, come to think of it I don't lose anything else but friends...)
* I don't particularly like football and it seems the whole of the rest of planet earth does
* I wear black clothes as a sign of neutrality (i.e. not 10 chains, 6 dog collars and a pair of handcuffs for symbolism)

Now, no one seems to worry about my clothes to any great extent, and not many people find themselves aware of my dislike of football, but I get direct abuse for my hobbies/career choice so I must assume it is this aspect people don't like. - But I've been making games since I was 8 years old, so I'm hardly about to change that... xD

Quote: "add: option 2, make a "bully blaster" game and give it to their friends."
xD I don't think that would get the message across somehow, they'd just find fault with it like some of my other simpler games.

@ Sepnon
Quote: "(not_social, in english.. heelp!)"

Antisocial

Quote: "but i were tired of being the nerdy guy.. now i skate, play guitar, go to partys and bla bla bla"

Yeh I do as many normal things as I can, while leaving time for game dev/general computer use, so as much as this takes my mind off things, it doesn't solve my problems.

@ Seppuku Arts
Yeh I've found I've been criticized over my family from these people too... I mean, what can one do? <Sigh>



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AndrewT
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Posted: 14th Jun 2010 05:17 Edited at: 14th Jun 2010 05:18
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I wish I could give you advice, but my school is flipped around in terms of popularity--I make friends because of my programming ability, not in spite of it.

Quote: "[quote](not_social, in english.. heelp!)"


Antisocial[/quote]

Just want to point out that asocial and antisocial are very different things, the former being where you simply don't feel comfortable in social situations (i.e. you're shy), and the latter being where you're pretty much socially retarded, i.e. compulsive lying, aggressiveness, lack of empathy, poor anger management, etc.

i like orange
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JLMoondog
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Posted: 14th Jun 2010 05:28
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My wife picks on me for my hobby....since for the past 5 years...

Though I just ignore it and go about my way. Never one for conflict or argueing, most be the buddhist in me.


JLMoondog's Turbo-Store
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Virtual Nomad
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Posted: 14th Jun 2010 06:06 Edited at: 14th Jun 2010 06:06
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@josh, i read that as "my wife picks on me for a hobby" and that you just ignore it. heh. truth is, that's probably closer to a real solution here.

bottom line is, hey, if you're happy with who you are, that's all that should matter.

@topic, when i was a kid, i was accepted as "cool" by all the little cliques and circles around me. in big part because i was confident in myself and also accepting of others (and genuinely interested in what they were into, as well). i befriended many of the so-called geeks and nerds because they were knowledgeable and creative. my so-called "jock" friends wondered why i was sometimes "hanging out with the geeks". i'd respond with something like, "well, it's because you can't draw or help me with my math homework". some of the jocks got it. we're all unique and have something to offer. the others, i'd take a little extra pleasure in laying them out during football practice. i'd give my jersey to some of the geekier girls on fridays and ask them to come to the game (to the cheerleaders', "what's he doing?"). fact is, i always had a thing for glasses on a girl. plus, lots of them were cuter, without all the make-up, poofy hair, and attitude.

@C0wbox, get past the "suffering" part as it's something you're entertaining and allowing to thrive. believe in yourself, hold close those you call family or friend, and the rest is fluff. we're all judged, all the time. you do it, too. understand the message you're sending with the "neutral" black clothing, and that black was never neutral. i had a closet full "back in the day" (and still have plenty), so this i know. neutral is balance and that's not the message you're sending. because you think something doesn't make it so. if you care to share yourself with the world, and have them reciprocate appropriately, make sure they understand the real you.

a sincere "good luck", whatever you do.

Virtual Nomad @ California, USA
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RedneckRambo
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Posted: 14th Jun 2010 06:17
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I'm not sure why you're trying to find excuses for not have any friends. I'm not trying to be mean, but the fact that you make games has nothing to do with having friends. There are plenty of other nerds you can befriend.

Stop being nonsocial. Be assertive.
And honestly, wearing clothes "as a sign of neutrality" isn't going to help either. People judge others the way they judge books by there cover. Whether you think its wrong or right, it's what we do as people.

Dress casual, be assertive, be social.

Signature's are stupid.
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Rampage
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Posted: 14th Jun 2010 08:09
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Punch them.


Eidos!
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Nilloc
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Posted: 14th Jun 2010 08:15
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yea i had alot of those problems in school this year one kid tried to choke me but he learned from that lesson if you know hwta i mean
SAME!!
[quote]now i skate, play guitar, go to partys

Who da man?!
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The Slayer
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Posted: 14th Jun 2010 14:22
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Well, Cowbox, for someone who's not very popular or hasn't many friends, you already got 18 responses here, so that makes you kinda popular, don't you agree?

I've been bullied a lot when I was younger. Either they joked about my long hair, or because I was little, or the fact that I had bad teeth, or me beeing smarter than most of the guyz. They always find something to pick on someone, just to feel superior. I found out that ignoring them, or showing them that you can stand up for yourself works pretty well.
If they don't respect you, than you don't need them. But, don't shut yourself out for everyone else too, ya know? Make friends (REAL friends who respect you) and everything will fall into place.

Cheers

Slayer rules!!! Yeaaah, man!
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C0wbox
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Posted: 14th Jun 2010 14:40
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xD

Yeh, most of the responses seem to rely on there being people left in this town. Most people know me, and most people have abandoned me, so the opportunity for making new friends, lies after this academic year (once I've moved) xD Maybe then I'll do better...

For those responses that tell me about the way people behave (i.e. they "will" judge you or they "will" hate you for no apparent reason) it's the fact that people feel they must that gets to me. At the end of the day if they "wish" to judge me wrongly, that doesn't bother me too much, but it's when they do it and act on it, I just don't get why people must be so mean. - The particular people I've been referring to in this thread, I've known for about 2 years now, so they know me inside out, only now they've decided to be nasty about it

Quote: "for someone who's not very popular or hasn't many friends, you already got 18 responses here"

Yeh I realised I get more sense out of the people I know online than I do in real life.

Oh well I'm off to sit a computing exam for 2 and a half hours with most of the people annoying me. Thanks again

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Shadowtroid
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Posted: 14th Jun 2010 22:49 Edited at: 14th Jun 2010 22:50
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I've always been disliked at school...No idea why honestly. I guess I don't fall into (and try really hard to stay out of) the mainstream attitude.

Best thing to do is to find some group of people who at least tolerate you and use them as a buffer. Because if you get bullied a lot, best thing you can have is a rock.

Off-topic: Wow budokaiman. A music reference? How unlike you.

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Phaelax
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Posted: 16th Jun 2010 01:19
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So get out and make some friends. Don't fall victim to the social awkwardness that plagues so many IT guys. During a contract last summer, there's over 300 IT contractors in one room. A small group of us stuck together because we seemed to be the only ones who are capable of having a normal conversation with strangers and leave our basements on weekends.

That might sound like a dumb thing to say but making friends and developing good social skills are more important in IT than you might realize. I've seen many guys who really know their stuff, but unfortunately will never rise into management (or other higher positions) because they lack basic communication skills.

I'm not saying you're one of those people, but you gotta make some friends (in real life, not internet). Speaking of which, I gotta go find me a new girlfriend whose name doesn't end in jpg.....


"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic" ~ Arthur C. Clarke
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BiggAdd
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Posted: 16th Jun 2010 01:37
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Like Phaelax said, being outgoing isn't a "god given" talent, its something you learn, for some it takes longer than others, but its something you have to work at.

You also have to make an effort not to talk about computers, not everyone wants to hear about them.

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C0wbox
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Posted: 16th Jun 2010 02:41 Edited at: 16th Jun 2010 02:43
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xD Don't worry I have no problems making friends.

I've just run out of people in this town, everyone I encounter either hates me for no apparent reason or are simply inaccessible to me, bar maybe ooooo, about 2 or 3 people? (Excluding family members) xD

Scotland should have more people though.

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Insanity Complex
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Posted: 16th Jun 2010 03:40
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I've lived in bigger towns(the 'ghettos' I suppose), and I've lived in one small, predominantly white, religious farming town, and quite a few places in between, having moved a lot through my childhood. Yet everywhere I've gone I've been able to find at least a few people who share interests or were cool to hang out with. It's just a matter of how you present yourself. It doesn't matter if the population is 20k or 1.5k. Unless your population is all of a hundred, especially being an adult, you should be able to find some folks you can get along with. Just don't get stuck in the idea that everyone around you dislikes you, or they will.

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C0wbox
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Posted: 16th Jun 2010 04:33
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Na the problem is that yeh, sure, I know exactly 150 people (according to Facebook) but of those 150 most of them are people who used to be my friends and now have no reason to be my friend or have deceived me or been nasty to me for some reason. (Again, through no provocation of my own)

So, as I'm in the transition from what is effectively school to real life, I can't exactly go out and get friends (via any of the methods available to me) so I'm kind of in a bit of a limbo. - And gradually as this academic year draws to a close, this limbo will near its end as I get closer to moving to a new place where I can start up life, get a job and meet some people.

But yeh, if this all sounds a little irrelevant now, the original purpose of this thread was just to see if people have ever had friends turn on them under apparently very little justification xD (like I have)

So, I guess I'll cope, until my future friends turn out to be backstabbers too. (In which case, I know how I'll cope, because I'll have been there already )

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Metal Devil123
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Posted: 16th Jun 2010 14:28
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Me too (kinda), but I don't let that bother me. I live this life for myself, not for other people. I only get this one life and I am gonna spend it good. I don't really care what other people think about what I do, but if I like it, then it's good enough for me. I only and only care about what I think on how I want to live my life. If my friend or someone would want me to change something, the ywouldn't be my friends. They would be friends of the person what THEY want me to be. But not the person I want to be, wich I am. I am who I am and if that's not enough for you then... just don't be in any kinda business with me.

My 2 cents.... actually make it 4.

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C0wbox
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Posted: 16th Jun 2010 15:16
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Yeh that's sometimes a good strategy ^^

I suppose we all try that, to a degree xD

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Asteric
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Posted: 16th Jun 2010 19:32
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I dont think i have ever been bullied much. One guy attempted to bully me once because of my freckles, he called me pizza face, so i just said ok and walked off. Thats probably your best defence if you are bullied, 9/10 they are weak, so ignore them and they will get bored. Im annoyed that they are 18 though, thats incredibly childish. Maybe tell them that next time. Seriously though, just ask someone who may be going to the town, or going out if you can tag along, no harm in that.

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Aaagreen
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Posted: 17th Jun 2010 00:07
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Quote: "Don't worry I have no problems making friends."

Quote: "and don't have many friends."


Wut?

I'd love to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my bum.
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C0wbox
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Posted: 17th Jun 2010 00:33
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Yeh, you musta missed the parts between that. xD

I have no problems making friends.

But those I make, turn against me or fizzle out and stop talking to me.

So eventually I run out of people to make friends with (because I've been round everyone before, some of them more than once xD)



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zeroSlave
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Posted: 17th Jun 2010 00:45 Edited at: 17th Jun 2010 00:48
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Quote: "I only and only care about what I think on how I want to live my life. If my friend or someone would want me to change something, the ywouldn't be my friends. They would be friends of the person what THEY want me to be. But not the person I want to be, wich I am. I am who I am and if that's not enough for you then... just don't be in any kinda business with me. "


It's good to be proud of who you are, but I disagree with your logic:

I currently have a friend that drinks the night away, and usually blacks out because of it. He becomes a jerk, then never remembers anything that he did. I have told him before that he needs to cut back and checkity check himself and possibly take a personal moral inventory before he wreckity wrecks himself, but he told me pretty much the same thing you posted.

As a friend, should I just let him continue down that path and possibly have a very hard future and an even harder struggle with alcoholism just because I should let him do what he "thinks" is right or okay?

No. Because I am his friend and I only want the best for him and I don't want to see him get hurt down the road. A real friend is going to take advice from their other friends. Extreme stubbornness will get you in a big open room... All by yourself.

What you speak, what you wear and however else you may represent yourself is tantamount to your success in life. Whether it be making/keeping friends, meeting the right woman/man, or having a great career... Dress for success.

EDIT: I have heard you say something along the lines of:
Quote: "But those I make, turn against me or fizzle out and stop talking to me."

several times.

What do you mean by:
1. They turn against you?
2. Fizzle out?
3. Stop talking to you?

And why? What reason would they have to turn against you, etc? I'm not the most wiserest person in the world, but my experiences show me that people usually have to have a reason before they take actions and make decisions.

My green thumb grew the tree my Trojan War horse was crafted from. With roses in our pockets we rally round the tombstones. Ashes to ashes, we all fall down.
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C0wbox
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Posted: 17th Jun 2010 00:53
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Quote: "1. They turn against you?"

By this I mean that they randomly do things which either disadvantage me or make me seem inferior to them.

Quote: "2. Fizzle out?"

By this I mean, they stop coming online, avoid me in real life and forget things that were organised.

Quote: "3. Stop talking to you?"

xD That one is pretty self explanatory.


As I have said, I'm not sure why people do these things. :S If someone was "once" friends with me, why should they suddenly have a reason to "not" be friends with me at a later date; I'm not exactly changing every 10 days to be a completely different person.

I really don't understand some of the people I've encountered in the last 8 years of living here. They didn't do this where I used to live.

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Metal Devil123
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Location: Suomi, Finland
Posted: 17th Jun 2010 01:16
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Quote: "I currently have a friend that drinks the night away, and usually blacks out because of it. He becomes a jerk, then never remembers anything that he did. I have told him before that he needs to cut back and checkity check himself and possibly take a personal moral inventory before he wreckity wrecks himself, but he told me pretty much the same thing you posted."

Well, what are you gonna do? It's his life.
Quote: "As a friend, should I just let him continue down that path and possibly have a very hard future and an even harder struggle with alcoholism just because I should let him do what he "thinks" is right or okay?"

If you really can't get him help or anything then... what are you gonna do? If you haven't tried to help him in all the ways you can then I quess you just have to. Try to get him to professional, if nothing helps.
Quote: "No. Because I am his friend and I only want the best for him and I don't want to see him get hurt down the road. A real friend is going to take advice from their other friends. Extreme stubbornness will get you in a big open room... All by yourself."

Very true, but I was talking about my life. And I still refer to stuff I said above. I am proud of myself as who I am, and you can have an opinion of your own, wich I respect.
Quote: "What you speak, what you wear and however else you may represent yourself is tantamount to your success in life. Whether it be making/keeping friends, meeting the right woman/man, or having a great career... Dress for success."

Well, when I am going to get a job, then ofcourse plain sense tells you that you have to dress properly. But on the freetime, I dress how I dress. I don't dress for other people. They can very well dress theirselves. If the woman likes me otherwise but can't stand me becouse of the way I look, then I don't she is the right one. My 2 cents wich I am strongly holding on.

And peolple might and do, hate you becouse the masses do. Everyone needs to be accepted everywhere and everyone needs to fit in. I feel comfortable in teh skin I am and that's good enough for me. I have friends that accept me as I am, and those are the people I want to hang around with. And I can't say what I said as good as I say it in Finnish so some parts may not sound as good as they do in finnish. I'm not perfect, I am just learning.

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zeroSlave
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Location: Springfield
Posted: 17th Jun 2010 01:31 Edited at: 17th Jun 2010 01:43
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Quote: "By this I mean that they randomly do things which either disadvantage me or make me seem inferior to them."

That's what friends are for... isn't it?..

So it seems that they are/were selfish in their decisions? Can you give an example? Like... did they get you into fights? Steal your girlfriend? Humiliate you in public?

Quote: "By this I mean, they stop coming online,"


Stop coming online? Possibly they got bored with messenger? Did they give you a reason why they don't get online anymore? I never really deal with friends online so I don't have much experience there. Most of them don't even know how to turn on a computer much less install and utilize MSN.

Quote: "avoid me in real life and forget things that were organised."


What would happen if you called one of them and asked if they wanted to get some coffe, or head to the park and play frisbee? Go fishing?
(Or whatever it is you younglings do these days. ) How much effort do YOU go through to make stuff happen?

Quote: "xD That one is pretty self explanatory."

Kind of, but not very descriptive. Do they avoid your phonecalls? Ignore you in public, pretending like they don't know you?


I read some more of you earlier posts about what they do on the internet and such, but I still don't see a huge deal. I guess, maybe it is the age difference. I remember being your age, and dealing with some of the same issue, but I learned that I didn't have issues with others, I had issues with myself that I needed to come to terms with. I try not to assume the motives behind what other people do. If I don't know... then I don't know. This got me in trouble with my first wife. I was young when I got married (19) and was still in the after-highschool-party mode. When I was at work, she would always be hanging out with my friends. It made me soooo angry. I constantly thought she was cheating on me, and because of this, every little bit of information, and all the little clues that I could find were always made to fit in my head in a way to make it true that she was cheating on me... I wanted to make all the puzzle pieces fit so that I would know for sure that she was cheating on me...

She wasn't.

C0wbox, you seem like a pretty smart fella, and probably know that smart folks generally have it the hardest; always wanting to figure stuff out, or have things make sense. Well, sometimes things just don't make much sense, but we have to live with it.

Hopefully none of this offends, and I try to keep it out of second person as much as possible because I only know what it is like to live in my skin. But hopefully, the little of my experiences that you now know may help in some fashion.

Anways... tldr; I wish you the best of luck, and I hope you enjoy living in Scotland... you lucky hombre!

EDIT (more tldr):

Quote: "If you really can't get him help or anything then... what are you gonna do? If you haven't tried to help him in all the ways you can then I quess you just have to. Try to get him to professional, if nothing helps."


You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. you can also lead an alcoholic to a bar and that is all he will do. What I believe he needs to do is start going to AA meetings. There are not too many professionals there. Just drunks trying not to be. I was brought up in a family full of alcoholics and addicts. I know what it can do to a person and their life. I can't make him stop drinking, but I can tell him about my experiences and how it affected my family.

Quote: "I am proud of myself as who I am, and you can have an opinion of your own, wich I respect. "


It is awesome that you are proud of who you are. I still suggest that you take and process advice from friends and others, however.

Quote: "And I can't say what I said as good as I say it in Finnish so some parts may not sound as good as they do in finnish."


Nah, I think it came out fine. And good job, I wish I knew Finnish!

Quote: "I'm not perfect, I am just learning."


And that is the whole point. We learn through experience and guidance. Hopefully, if a friend suggested that you pronounced a specific English word incorrectly and tried to help you, you would take his/her advice.

-

My green thumb grew the tree my Trojan War horse was crafted from. With roses in our pockets we rally round the tombstones. Ashes to ashes, we all fall down.
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CoffeeGrunt
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Posted: 17th Jun 2010 01:41
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I'm a nerd, but managed to cut myself a niche as the only Scottish kid in a school...

Picked myself up a sarcastic Frankie Boyle attitude towards most people, and I can safely say it was a happy time - until we all left for our various paths through life, but meh...

http://forum.moltenbytedesign.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=121&title=quick-scifi-level
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Metal Devil123
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Location: Suomi, Finland
Posted: 17th Jun 2010 01:59
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Quote: "And that is the whole point. We learn through experience and guidance. Hopefully, if a friend suggested that you pronounced a specific English word incorrectly and tried to help you, you would take his/her advice."

I would. I am willing to learn new stuff and try some* new things. But if peple want to change my personality to their likes... no, no

* That means I won't be trying drugs or smoking (anymore than I did the one time.. how god awful that was) or any that stuff. You propably get what I mean.

And thanks for responding I always love when people give their opinions at what I have said [handshake/]

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BiggAdd
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Posted: 17th Jun 2010 06:55
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Quote: "Na the problem is that yeh, sure, I know exactly 150 people (according to Facebook)"


Its phrases like this that kinda hint to the problem. You seem to be obsessed with the computer and you even said that your friends won't talk to you on messenger? Talking through a messenger is crap, really really crap. People want to talk in person, you can't engage someone properly over a messenger service.

And you may have 150 people on your facebook account, but that doesn't mean you know 150 people.

I have a similar amount on my account, probably half I know and probably 20 or so I know really well.


Chances are, if 150 people don't want to get to know you well, its not them, its you.

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C0wbox
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Location: 0,50,-150
Posted: 17th Jun 2010 17:32
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When I said that, that was me gauging just how many people I've encountered here (because I'm not in the habit of adding people I don't know in person) and of those 150 people I know, I don't talk to hardly any of them anymore.

In terms of how to communicate, I find that's down to the person. I used to talk to loads of people through messenger programs, and know lots of people now who still talk via texting each other. (The people who text get on fine, but people on messengers seem to have disappeared.

And as I only really encountered people this last term at college, the only other way to talk to people face-to-face was to arrange over a messaging service.

xD It's hardly worth bothering about me now; I have my last exam tomorrow then I'll be discussing with my parents on ways to go to Scotland, where I have a job set up already and 5 weeks to see if I can start a new life.

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Aaagreen
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Posted: 17th Jun 2010 17:36
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Quote: "I don't talk to hardly any of them anymore"


So, you talk to most of them?

I'd love to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my bum.
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zeroSlave
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Posted: 17th Jun 2010 19:27 Edited at: 17th Jun 2010 19:31
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Hmm...
Quote: "I used to talk to loads of people through messenger programs"

Quote: "
User: Cleverbot, will you be C0wbox's friend?
Cleverbot: No."


I tried for you.

Homeslice, what I would do if I were you, is call a bunch of your old mutual "friends" after you finish your exam, and see if they want to go out and celebrate with you and have a going away party. But call more than just one, because some people may back out. And it has nothing to do with you. I know I have backed out numerous times from planned engagements just because something important came up.

EDIT: Oh yeah, dawg!
Quote: "and thanks for responding I always love when people give their opinions at what I have said"

[/high-five]
I agree with you about someone wanting to change another's personality and such. I am talking more about actions that can be harmful to one person or another. With my buddy's situation, it's not based only on how I feel. I have spoken with numerous mutual friends, and we are all agreed that he is hurting himself, and may possibly hurt others as well.

My green thumb grew the tree my Trojan War horse was crafted from. With roses in our pockets we rally round the tombstones. Ashes to ashes, we all fall down.
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C0wbox
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Posted: 17th Jun 2010 19:47
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@ Aaagreen
Aha, I've never noticed that double negative before xD. (I'm usually quite good at picking that sort of thing up.)

What should I be saying there?

@ CoughMist
Quote: "I tried for you. "

xD

I'll pass on the "calling old friends" thing. I figured, if they can't be assed with me, I can't be assed with them.

I'll just go make some new friends. xD

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Aaagreen
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Posted: 17th Jun 2010 22:14
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Quote: "What should I be saying there?"


I hardly talk to any of them anymore

I'd love to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my bum.
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Metal Devil123
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Location: Suomi, Finland
Posted: 17th Jun 2010 22:56
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Quote: "I agree with you about someone wanting to change another's personality and such. I am talking more about actions that can be harmful to one person or another. With my buddy's situation, it's not based only on how I feel. I have spoken with numerous mutual friends, and we are all agreed that he is hurting himself, and may possibly hurt others as well."

I know. I agree on that stuff. I am with you and I hope your friend gets help and best wishes to you too

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