Metal Devil.
I don't think it's a good idea to start a review by proclaiming your fandom of what you are reviewing - because anyone reading that will just think 'Do I really need a fanboys opinion on this?'. I don't think that's what people are looking for, diehard fans would be interested in your opinion about how awesome it is, but casual readers will want a more rounded opinion. If you are a fan, then it's best to keep it to yourself and try and look at the movie without the rose tinted specs.
Your review sorta reminds me of the book reviews I did in English class, I read a lot as a kid, so always had a plethora of good books to review, and I always choose a book I liked. Then one time they gave us a book to review, and I hated the thing, so tore it to shreds in the review - and it was the only A I ever got in English!
I would suggest that you write a review for a new movie, something that you might well hate, something that you have no fandom for. Be prepared to tear strips of actors and directors, because that's a critic's job, to say the stuff that everyone else is saying anyway, just more direct. I think you should go and watch The Bounty Hunter, with that guy from 300 and Jennifer Aniston, because I got dragged to that, and detested it, I could have written a great review during the damn thing, just my eyeballs squished flat on a piece of paper, and the words 'HAPPY NOW!' written in blood underneath.
It's hard to judge the writing itself, because your writing about a movie you've probably seen lots of times, so there's no fresh slaps in there. When I read a review, it's so I can read the funny things that are often written - if it sucks, then tear it to shreds, if you like it, then make fun of yourself for liking it. Reviews are always fairly negative things, but just because they are mostly negative, does not mean they can't be entertaining. People take reviews with a pinch of salt, they are looking for the worst things and best things about whatever you are reviewing. The other thing I'd vito is 'SPOILERS', people who read a review know that they are finding out about a movie they might want to see, so putting SPOILER is just gonna turn people away, because they don't want a recap of the plot, they want a set of opinions about if the movie is worth watching. Don't explain what happens, question it, why not just say the movie wobbles at bit near the end, like so many movies do as directors seemingly become more and more lazy or concerned about plot. I like zombie movies, so you can imagine how often I rant at the screen about plot stupidities, it's one of my favorite pastimes.
Sometimes all it takes is 1 sentence to make someones mind up. For example Jeku said on Facebook about Inception...
''Inception kicked my butt. So many theories!''
Now I was probably gonna see Inception anyway, but with just 7 words he convinced me that I would like it. In that I read... it's complicated but holds your attention, makes you think, is a bit more intellectual than the guff I've watched recently.
So to summarise my review of your review...
It's on the right track, but I think the subject matter has done you no favors, you like the movie too much to add any real venom to the review, and without venom, reviews are fairly dull and flat things to read.
Review a movie that you can make a little fun of, come up with some LMAO statements, be critical, your not studying it for an exam, your providing your opinion. Try and use only 3 or 4 lines in a paragraph - I'm thinking that nobody is really responding because the shape of the review puts them off. If I see a few lines at a time, I'm more likely to read - because you read paragraph by paragraph, after a paragraph you can stop reading or continue, but it's neat. When there's a big block of text like that, it's daunting to even start reading it, because stopping reading is really annoying, my brain at least hates that.
