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Geek Culture / Happy Valentines Day

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Master Man Of Justice
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Posted: 14th Feb 2011 12:48
So happy VDay everyone! Grab your lovers and show em how much money you spent on them

But seriously, Happy valentines day everyone.

CoffeeGrunt
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Posted: 14th Feb 2011 17:49
...

I'm single.

Insert Name Here
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Location: Worcester, England
Posted: 14th Feb 2011 18:05
...

Me too.

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." That's a bit like saying Hey bullies! So yeah, this words thing isn't working, but I'll tell you what will
Isocadia
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Posted: 14th Feb 2011 18:23
...

Mee too


And they will never catch me
Master Man Of Justice
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Posted: 14th Feb 2011 18:25
haha just cause your single doesnt mean V-day has to suck. Go out and do something! Meet new people.

Fallout
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Posted: 14th Feb 2011 18:33
Bah humbug to valentines day! It's just commercial rubbish, I say! Me and the gf had a nice meal yesterday, before flower prices got hiked and everyone swamps the restaurants.

Jeku
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Location: Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Posted: 14th Feb 2011 20:24
Meh, I'm considering breaking up with my gf today. Bad timing? After 6 months, last night she told me that I have to "try harder" and there's "zero romance" in our relationship. I was floored. Yah, thanks for waiting 6 months to tell me. Then at midnight last night she said she expects some kind of romantic V-Day thing. Meh, I'm so uninterested in that right now, and too stressed at work with the whole Nokia-Microsoft partnership. I might just work late


Senior Web Developer - Nokia
French gui
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Posted: 14th Feb 2011 20:58
Oh, my wife forgot about buying me some roses...
crispex
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Posted: 14th Feb 2011 21:22
Well, now here's when I come in.

Valentines Day is one of the largest known shams of all time. You shouldn't have to have a day dedicated to telling your wife / girlfriend you love her, if you have strong relationship you love each other every day. Sounds very Disney-ish, but it's true.

So basically the card / flower / candy companies decided that Christmas and birthdays were no longer good enough anymore, and decided to capitalize on a random day of the new year. They made this fake holiday called "Valentines Day" in order to maximize profits.

Basically it's just another day that people (namely American's) invented in order to require gifts, candy, etc. My family has NEVER celebrated it because it's not a real holiday. It serves no significant religious function, nor does it even present any kind of significant historical event. Sure, it's named after Saint Valentine, but even the Catholics of all people have disbarred it from their standard calendars.

While we're on the subject, most holidays have been turned into commercial monsters. For example, President's Day. WHY in the world would I have the sudden urge to buy furniture over President's Day? I'm getting tired of companies profiting on people who just want to enjoy family get-together's. Sure, people buy into it, simply because people are stupid and think that buying gifts for other people suddenly makes them better and more valuable. If you love your family and friends, simply being together should be more than enough for anyone. For some reason people got it into their minds that buying superfluous things will make holiday's better. If you're a materialistic person, maybe.

Sorry, just my rant.

I just now realized I've had a typo in my signature for the past 3 years.
lazerus
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Posted: 14th Feb 2011 22:06
An excuse to do something nice for my gf? Why not

Though you'd have to be retarded to need a holiday to prompt you to do such things and actually do them on valentines day. Im taking her out to watch that new disney 'Tangeled' this firday. Not my first choice but it could be worse.

Fallout
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Posted: 14th Feb 2011 22:14
Quote: "Valentines Day is one of the largest known shams of all time. You shouldn't have to have a day dedicated to telling your wife / girlfriend you love her, if you have strong relationship you love each other every day"


Never has a truer word been spoken! If she's worth it, you should find stuff to do for her all the time.

Now, I need to pick up some stuff from the supermarket tomorrow, so I'm gonna see if there are any valentines day flowers I can buy on the cheap!

Insert Name Here
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Posted: 14th Feb 2011 22:35
Quote: "Im taking her out to watch that new disney 'Tangeled' this firday. Not my first choice but it could be worse."

You will love it.

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." That's a bit like saying Hey bullies! So yeah, this words thing isn't working, but I'll tell you what will
Phaelax
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Posted: 14th Feb 2011 22:39
Quote: "and there's "zero romance" in our relationship."

probably true if you dump her on valentines.

This year is a bit better since last year I accidently set up 3 dates. My one date this year looks like she's gonna have to cancel, so I'll have to find a last minute replacement.

"Only the educated are free" ~Epictetus
"Imagination is more important than knowledge..." ~Einstein
crispex
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Posted: 14th Feb 2011 22:44
Let's face it, those who are married and in good relationships are lucky. For me, I can never hold a steady relationship for more than a few weeks because work gets in the way. I'm a bit of a workaholic. That's why you notice many computer people alone, because we're so busy involved in our expeditions online and in computer businesses, we neglect all else.

I just now realized I've had a typo in my signature for the past 3 years.
Master Man Of Justice
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Posted: 14th Feb 2011 23:29
While i do agree its a commercial monster, its still a nice day to do a little extra for the one you love. I mean, you can love them every day, but you dont get them a card and flowers everyday.

Personally, i think hand picked flowers work better

Phaelax
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Posted: 15th Feb 2011 00:37
and where do you hand pick your roses in the middle of winter?

I think we should have a holiday where the lady buys stuff for the guy for once!

"Only the educated are free" ~Epictetus
"Imagination is more important than knowledge..." ~Einstein
ionstream
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Posted: 15th Feb 2011 00:56
There is absolutely no reason to have any animosity against Valentine's Day whatsoever. Of COURSE you should do stuff for your girlfriend on occasion. Valentine's day is one of those occasions.

ionstream
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Posted: 15th Feb 2011 01:25
Also Happy Valentines day and BE HAPPY DAMNIT.

Master Man Of Justice
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Posted: 15th Feb 2011 03:22
Quote: "and where do you hand pick your roses in the middle of winter?"
True.

Quote: " Valentine's day is one of those occasions."

Yup. Came from St. Valentine . I dont think marketers were the first one to come up with Valentines Day.

Fatal Berserker
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Posted: 15th Feb 2011 03:43 Edited at: 15th Feb 2011 03:44
nvm - a cat stole my post

Rampage
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Posted: 15th Feb 2011 05:19 Edited at: 15th Feb 2011 05:20
Quote: "Meh, I'm considering breaking up with my gf today. Bad timing? After 6 months, last night she told me that I have to "try harder" and there's "zero romance" in our relationship. I was floored. Yah, thanks for waiting 6 months to tell me. Then at midnight last night she said she expects some kind of romantic V-Day thing. Meh, I'm so uninterested in that right now, and too stressed at work with the whole Nokia-Microsoft partnership. I might just work late. "

Yeah. Well, thats women for you. Get used to it. They're a bloody pain.
I have been with my partner for 2 1/2 years and I have to put up with her everyday. But tis k. She are female.

Regards,

Max
Herakles
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Posted: 15th Feb 2011 08:01
I walked in on my second wife (now second ex-wife) in bed with another man on a Valentine's Day.

Fallout
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Posted: 15th Feb 2011 08:13
Quote: "I think we should have a holiday where the lady buys stuff for the guy for once!"


That's also valentine's day, imo. If a lady thinks it's all about her, and she can expect something and do nothing in return, then she is either (a) just naive, and needs to be gently educated, or (b) selfish, and needs to be sent packing.

Where I have celebrated valentines day in the past (because a gf has made it clear she want to), we've always exchanged cards and gifts.

uzi idiot
Valued Member
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Posted: 15th Feb 2011 08:35

I'm forever alone

good frame rates matter... and a low ping might help XD
Poloflece
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Posted: 15th Feb 2011 11:56
I'd buy you a rose, but I don't like you


Rust Pack WIP here http://forum.thegamecreators.com/?m=forum_view&t=178788&b=24
flashing snall
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Posted: 15th Feb 2011 13:01
Quote: "Bah humbug to valentines day! It's just commercial rubbish, I say!"


Doesnt have to be. I led my buddy around down town on a scavanger hunt for things I had left behind on purpose. It was funny because I left them in hard to get places. We had to sneak into the post office durring working hours to retrieve one, which probably would have been IF we had been caught. Another one was way down some train tracks, and yet another was atop a HUUUGE snow bank. Its goofy.

Jeku
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Posted: 15th Feb 2011 18:55
We didn't break up. We went to Subway and watched a few episodes of Breaking Bad.


Senior Web Developer - Nokia
Phaelax
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Posted: 15th Feb 2011 20:53
subway, way to charm the lady

"Only the educated are free" ~Epictetus
"Imagination is more important than knowledge..." ~Einstein
Yodaman Jer
User Banned
Posted: 15th Feb 2011 22:25
Quote: "We didn't break up. We went to Subway and watched a few episodes of Breaking Bad."


Good. Not very romantic, but at least you did SOMETHING, and didn't break up on Valentine's Day.

Also, yes I'm a kid and don't really know much about this stuff, but I may have some useful-ish advice. Talk to the lady. Ask her what she means by "zero romance" and find out if there's anything you can do to make her happy in that regard. If there is, you shall be happy too and then many wonderful things may happen.

Like she'll bake you a cake.

Jeku
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Posted: 16th Feb 2011 07:30
Hmmm I was previously married for 5 years, so I have an extra layer of caution that I adhere to when I'm dating someone new. If there isn't that extra "oomph" then it's best to walk away as early as possible. Her telling me there's "zero romance" after 6 months is not something that I can just correct. I've never had a girl tell me that before, so I'm taking it with a grain of salt. If she seriously can't put up with me then she's not worth it.


Senior Web Developer - Nokia
Fallout
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Posted: 16th Feb 2011 08:14
You're right to jack it in Jeku. The longer you stay with the wrong girl, the longer you have to wait to find the right one. A lot of people say relationships need work, but they only say that because they've not found the right woman, and they've settled for someone who they're not truly compatible with.

PrimalBeans
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Posted: 16th Feb 2011 09:35 Edited at: 16th Feb 2011 09:47
Im sorry to say thats a crock. There isnt a person in the world that that you wont need to work with to make a great relationship. A great relationship is being with someone that makes you want to work to make them happy and they do the same to you. I just doesnt seem like work if your happy in a relationship. Love is just like anything else in this world: It requires maintenance and care. You can be completely compatible with someone and drive them away if you dont maintain the relationship, and completely incompatible with someone and still love them and find a way to cooperate with eachother.

Valentines day may be a commercial holiday... but i bet alot of you need it to remember to take the time for your lady. (Or man... depending on sexual orientation or gender. LOL.)

@Jeku: man thats kind of a bum way to look at a relationship... it should be all about compromise. Yes the nokia microsoft whatever might be a big deal,(Im sure micro$haft would like you to thinks so.) but there is more to work then life... (Or is it the other way around??) But then again what do i know...


EDIT.... BTW... are any of you who said your single women?? LOL
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA....
But seriously...

Dazzag
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Posted: 16th Feb 2011 09:44
Quote: "I think we should have a holiday where the lady buys stuff for the guy for once!"
I got a cool T-shirt!

Cheers

I am 99% probably lying in bed right now... so don't blame me for crappy typing
Current fave quote : "She was like a candle in the wind.... unreliable...."
Fallout
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Posted: 16th Feb 2011 09:56 Edited at: 16th Feb 2011 10:05
Quote: "Im sorry to say thats a crock. There isnt a person in the world that that you wont need to work with to make a great relationship. A great relationship is being with someone that makes you want to work to make them happy and they do the same to you. I just doesnt seem like work if your happy in a relationship. Love is just like anything else in this world: It requires maintenance and care. You can be completely compatible with someone and drive them away if you dont maintain the relationship, and completely incompatible with someone and still love them and find a way to cooperate with eachother."


I stand by my comment! I do a lot for my mrs, but none of it is 'work' because she's worth all the effort I put in and I enjoy everything I do for her. I don't have to work at anything. There's no compromise, because we're on the same wavelength, want to do the same things, have the same goals.

I admit most people aren't lucky enough to find the right person, or simply settle for someone who is mostly right for them, because it's 'good enough' or they're afraid of being alone. Therefore they have to compromise and work to keep things happy. But I don't. I'm hitting 30 this year, and have finally found my soul mate. (Yes, mushy bleuughhh .. all that stuff )

So I totally stand by my comment.

Edit: But as a caveat, I know I'm making this sound too simple. I know it's not. All I can talk about are my own experiences of settling for 'good enough' for a long time, then eventually finding the right one.

crispex
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Posted: 16th Feb 2011 12:36
Quote: "Her telling me there's "zero romance" after 6 months is not something that I can just correct. I've never had a girl tell me that before, so I'm taking it with a grain of salt. If she seriously can't put up with me then she's not worth it."


Well, in your defense, you have the right to happiness as does everyone else, however you're not exactly looking at it the right way. 1/2 of all marriages fail within the first 2 years. Usually both parties play a significant role in the failure of the marriage. It seems to me (and this is just a shot in the wind), that you don't want to change any of your personality or characteristics in order to make a relationship to work. She might be thinking the exact same thing about you. Not to mention, people have varying degrees of needed affection. Your other girlfriends or wives might not have needed as much romance or affection, which is fine. However, some people need more reassurance than others. You only get what you give. (Good song by the way.)

I just now realized I've had a typo in my signature for the past 3 years.
Herakles
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Posted: 17th Feb 2011 07:15 Edited at: 17th Feb 2011 07:16
Quote: "If she seriously can't put up with me then she's not worth it."


I agree 100%. Too many people have been tricked by movies and TV shows into thinking that every relationship can work if you just throw enough money and petty gifts at the girl in question, or that if two people truly have romantic feelings for each other they WILL be happy together. The reality is that such feelings are not the only requirement for a happy relationship (and therefore life). If you are in a relationship with someone and are just not happy, it doesn't matter how much you love her.

The ultimate goal in life is happiness, and romance is merely one possible way of achieving it. Romantic feelings are a way to tell if you will be happy with someone, but not a garuantee. If the way you live your life with someone is not bringing happiness to your life, you have to end it for your sake and hers. I mean end the relationship, not your life.

PrimalBeans
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Posted: 17th Feb 2011 08:32
I think the point was missed. I have very little knowledge of jekus relationship so im just going on speculation. One thing that i know is true about human relationships in general (not limited to the romantic kind.) is that if your not willing to adapt and not willing to work with other people, weather it be romatically or not, life is going to very difficult. This does NOT mean that you have to bend to the will of people you completely disagree with (but you beter get used to that too..) it just means that not being flexable is eventually put you in a state of impass somewere down the road. Like i said before im not very aware of the details of jekus relationship but consider this: The fact that she is willing to talk to you and make you aware of her needs is a quality. Her other reaction could be to just say 'to hell with this'.

All i know is alot of people get so wrapped up in the idealistic and forget about the realistic. Ideally the person you love will never make you mad, and will always be satisfied by you. Realistictly this person doesnt exist . Relationships are destroyed when one person its unwilling to make sacrafices for the other: That means both parties taking consideration of the other and their needs, physical and emotional, and acting positively and constructively on them. People all have things they want from a relationship, to think that you can just plug a person into you life and have them fit perfectly is unrealistic.

Jeku
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Posted: 17th Feb 2011 08:53
Sadly I'm at an age where the girls I date are in their late 20s, and have the strong need to "settle down" and build roots, have kids, etc. I'm not into that right now, because my marriage was still so recent. I want to be with a girl who is not with me because I have a good job, and will just "settle" to be with me. Her and I are almost completely opposite in our ideologies and our outlook on life. We're both kind of just "settling" and it sucks.


Senior Web Developer - Nokia
PrimalBeans
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Posted: 17th Feb 2011 09:16 Edited at: 17th Feb 2011 09:22
Now that i can understand. I have two kids with my ex wife so i can definately see being not ready for another serious relationship. If you havent let her in on it yet i would definately soon. In my case she left me... and the kids (for the most part.) and swings in only once in a while to mess with our heads and shake my house up a bit. So i can definately understand not wanting to be married again anytime soon.... lol.

Edit:

One thing that didnt sink in till now: Sounds like maybe she was attacted to you because of your finacial stability and you being that roots and children type prospect. Now she realizes that just isnt enough to keep people happy together.

Jeku
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Posted: 17th Feb 2011 09:20
Well all I can say is, it's a good thing I don't have any kids with my ex wife She's Chinese and could very well have taken them to China and disappeared.


Senior Web Developer - Nokia
PrimalBeans
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Posted: 17th Feb 2011 09:21 Edited at: 17th Feb 2011 09:24
yeah that would make things difficult

btw... i was born in bc... very useless info i know... but im tired and buzzing and i thought it was neat... heh.

Fallout
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Posted: 17th Feb 2011 09:33
I love how this has turned into a relationship advice thread ..

Quote: "Her and I are almost completely opposite in our ideologies and our outlook on life. We're both kind of just "settling" and it sucks."


I'm pretty sure you life goals are one of the most important things in a relationship. Weirdly, I really got thinking about this while watching Dexter - that episode where he's about to murder two human traffickers who are professing their love for each other as they're about to be chopped up. Then Dexter asks them the secret to a marriage and they say "We share the same goals!" or something, before getting sliced and diced.

But as weird as a source as that is, it did make me think and I'm certain that's true. If you have the same aspirations and long term objectives, you'll be feeding off each other and working together to achieve those goals. If you have different aims, you'll be constantly fighting against each other, and compromising on, or breaking each others dreams. There's no way that can work.

So I think the most important conversation you can have with a new partner, or someone you're interest in, are where they want to end up. If her dreams are the same as yours, even if it's as simple as "a house in the country with 3 kids", then that's a solid foundation. If they conflict, she's not the one.

Jeku
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Posted: 17th Feb 2011 21:56
Quote: "btw... i was born in bc..."


Cool, there's a few of us around here

Quote: "I'm pretty sure you life goals are one of the most important things in a relationship."


Yes, totally. We're opposites politically, religiously, and socially. Kind of weird that we're a couple. Too bad the nudge nudge wink wink is so good


Senior Web Developer - Nokia
crispex
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Posted: 18th Feb 2011 03:24
I'm not sure about Canadian law, but in the United States it's against the law to leave the country with children unless you have the other parties permission or the person leaving has full custody.

I just now realized I've had a typo in my signature for the past 3 years.
Eminent
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Posted: 18th Feb 2011 03:52
Actually I left for a wedding in DC with my mother once w/o my dad writing a note. Never knew we had to.


crispex
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Posted: 18th Feb 2011 04:27
Well, if he would have filed a report saying the mother took the kids without his knowledge, that's international kidnapping. That's a high felony.

I just now realized I've had a typo in my signature for the past 3 years.
PrimalBeans
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Posted: 21st Feb 2011 07:02
... i was born there... to united states citizens. I am a united states citizen. I have never actually lived in canada. Me and the ex live in the same state... My statement has nothing to do with the relationships, i was just sharing a useless detail that i noticed, thats all.

flashing snall
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Posted: 21st Feb 2011 07:24
Yikes.
This thread seems pretty pessimistic to me, but Im just an 18 year old kid stuck in hormonal distress I guess. Heh heh. Hehe.

The peanut gallery (thats me) casts in a vote for coming out in cold hard truth. Let your will be known. Clearly you got a goal in mind (be happy with a girl who doesnt want to start the American/Canadian Dream). See what her goal is. Then either
1. Make it work.
2. Realize your goals are sadly far too distant to ever work.
3. ??
4. PROFIT!

But again, I understand that my vision of relationships is probably horribly misguided. The one that Im in has been fantastic for over a year now, but as college looms ahead in the horizon, it seems like things might need to end for both our sake's.

Quik
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2011 22:46
Quote: "This thread seems pretty pessimistic to me"


you can be pessimistic!


[Q]uik, Quiker than most
PrimalBeans
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2011 23:39
this thread may last till the happy easter thread.... lol...

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