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Quote: "The year was 1988.It was however not the year of the bottle of red wine that got “knocked from the cupboard “. That was 1978 bottle of rather expensive taste. Not that I believed the OK bazaar sticker on it, perhaps the limited edition sticker was of more value than its actual contents.

Now that I think about it playing spin the bottle on a wooden floor just waxed for extra torque and numerous furniture obstacles, does present its dangers but is far out weighed by daring some so one to kiss the ugly step sister next door. The ugly step sister just happened to be the neighbor's daughter whose swimming pool I depth charged.

I set my sights on the other only other girl in the group of 6. Perhaps my navy seals/Macgyver/A team ingenuity is what I think attracted her to me, my ability to get into trouble with a seemingly harmless objects like a wine bottle did the opposite.

After a few unsuccessful spins, I just could not land the bottle on her. I had the bright idea of getting up taking the bottle by the neck and giving it all that I could.

That is where things went south, well not just that direction it pretty much went every where imaginable. I must point out that I am like a fish in water, water in containers and glass containers at that disagrees with that statement. It is also not a great idea to try and stop a glass bottle with bare feet going in excess of a few million miles per hour.

Well seeing the error of my ways too late, stopping a wine bottle out of control with your feet at this point seemed like a perfect way of bringing it to a perfect abrupt halt. My knowledge of physics proved me wrong, perhaps not completely wrong the object did however stop just not where my knowledge of physics wanted it to stop.

The end result the wine bottle using my foot to project it self into space, unfortunately the wine bottle didn't understand that the projection space should be empty for inter stellar travel.

It flew with in inches of ugly step sister's face, to my dismay. Perhaps if the bottle imprinted limited edition on her forehead would it have been ironic. But the irony only became self evident after it hit the side of the cabinet broke sprayed onto the walls and proceeded it's gravitational charge back down to earth since the momentum has intervened in its hopes of interstellar travel.

Perhaps Satan him self steered that bottle into the fish tank or I wished he did, the water was promptly ejected onto the two girls. That was my first experience of what a wet T-shirt competition is, my girl won hands down, ugly step sister wore a black shirt. Thank goodness we were saved from going blind.

That day I did not just learn about physics I also learned water don't mix well with electricity and red wine makes excellent wall art, Picasso would be proud. Oh lets not forget putting fish in a kitchen bucket laced with last weeks experiments gone wrong is not particular healthy to fish.

The bucket in question, was a suitable container to mix numerous flammable liquids, and a half decent drain cleaner. The target in question ants. Loads of them and a bunch of matches.

The moral that day. Frustration only leads to ballistic projectiles.

Bad, good comments, doesn't matter, I am looking at improving.

thanks
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