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Geek Culture / How Do You Become A Moderator?

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Lance Lumpy
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2004 13:11
This May Sound Stupid. But How Do You Become A Moderator?
Please Answer!!!
Quote: "I Am Testing This Quote Thing Out. I Have Never Used One Before!!!"


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Philip
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2004 13:46 Edited at: 22nd Feb 2004 13:48
The answer to that is top secret but, happily, as I am not a bear which respects such things I can vouchsafe it to you.

To become a mod you must satisfy at least 90% of the following basic entry criteria:

1. speak 5 languages (one of which must be ancient Aramaic);
2. be able to play the piano to grade 8... whilst standing on your head;
3. possess arcane and disturbing information the like of which man should know not ... NOT DAMNIT!;
4. sing Rock n Roll music better than The King himself;
5. like cartoon characters;
6. have personally designed at least 3 Intel CPUs in the past 20 years - using graph paper and a pen only;
7. been Supreme Pontiff of the Roman Catholic Church;
8. smile constantly in an enigmatic slightly mysterious/slightly threatening manner;
9. live in the moon; and
10. like eating cabbage.

Also you have to survive the entrance ritual. As this involves standing on a Welsh hill at 2:00am on a wet foggy Monday morning in December wearing only joke clothing from "Its a Knockout!" whilst having to sacrifice chickens to evil satanic entities generally its not very popular.

Now for something entirely different. The following clip of ALF is funny (albeit it takes a while to load):

http://www.sdloids.de/~stephan/alfseger.mpg

Philip

What do you mean, bears aren't supposed to wear hats and a tie? P1.3ghz / 384 megs / GeForce MX 5200 128meg / WinXP home
David T
Retired Moderator
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2004 14:01 Edited at: 22nd Feb 2004 19:05
lol

"They misunderestimated us" - George Bush
"The box said 'Requires Windows 95 or better'. So I installed LINUX. "

Formerly David89.
OSX Using Happy Dude
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2004 14:15
Quote: "1. speak 5 languages (one of which must be ancient Aramaic);"

And gobbledegook counts as one...

Quote: "2. be able to play the piano to grade 8... whilst standing on your head;"

Not me unfortunately...

Quote: "3. possess arcane and disturbing information the like of which man should know not ... NOT DAMNIT!;"

Oh yes indeedly.

Quote: "4. sing Rock n Roll music better than The King himself;"

Hell, anyone can - even a tone-deaf guinea-pig...

Quote: "5. like cartoon characters;"

Too right...

Quote: "6. have personally designed at least 3 Intel CPUs in the past 20 years - using graph paper and a pen only;"

I prefer dealing with BETTER processors myself.

Quote: "7. been Supreme Pontiff of the Roman Catholic Church;"

Very close...

Quote: "8. smile constantly in an enigmatic slightly mysterious/slightly threatening manner;"

Thats me all over, especially the threatening manner part...

Quote: "9. live in the moon; and"

Nope

Quote: "10. like eating cabbage."

No chance


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Critters
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2004 14:18
rofl @ Philip, thats why mortals like me never get round to becoming one :p

"If you do not master your anger, your anger will master you, I should know"
Dazzag
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2004 14:32
And the skill to stop threads when they just become large flame wars/ no use to anyone. Eg. Geri type fun.... Obviously this doesn't seem to apply to certain large religious threads that waffle on for ages, and seem to satisify a lot of flame criteria. Each to their own I suppose....

Cheers

Ps. Is it just me, or is the new Ge3ri not really like Geri? Or has he done *some* research into things? The old one was simply like your old uncle that sat in the corner, babbled a few things, then died, without anyone caring. But the new one can actually come up with one or two (intentionally badly written?....) decent sentences, now and again...

I am 99% probably lying in bed right now... so don't blame me for crappy typing
newbi 2 basic
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2004 14:32
and dont bug anyone asking to be a mod
they dont like that
Preston C
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Location: Penn State University Park
Posted: 22nd Feb 2004 14:42
Ok, heres how you become a mod:

1) Help people as much as you can, and to the length your knowledge allows.

2) Do not or rarely flame and do not partake in flamebaits

3) Be a succesful contributer to the community by making things that others will find very useful after a while

4) Have patience and be mature

5) Do not ask to be a mod, Rich will appoint one a mod if he thinks that person is good enough.

Well, thats about it. Rich has the greatest say in the matter, so if you've just gotten here, dont get your hopes up. You havent proved anything and the chances of you being a mod are zero to none.

Cheers,
Preston

[PS] I actually used the serious list of "How to Be a Mod." Look to an older How Do I Become a Mod post for the funny one


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indi
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2004 14:42
mmm cabbage


Dave J
Retired Moderator
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2004 15:12
Quote: ""Its a Knockout!""


Whatever happened to that show... it's been at least 12 years since I've seen an episode of it.


"Computers are useless they can only give you answers."
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2004 15:42
Quote: " it's been at least 12 years since I've seen an episode of it"

And long may its disappearence continue...


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John H
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2004 16:22
Be able to complete all of the secret moderator tasks that Rich will email you about if he thinks your worthy. The all secret 'mod competition' is held whenever mods are needed. Its very hard, and secret. No one knows about it except us mods. As you can see, after the last competition, the only ones standing were

Indi
TCA
IanM
RobK
Puffy
Me (RPGamer)

So the thing is, dont ask, Rich will ask you That mod competion is hard! Very rigorous physical and mental strain....the horrors....the horrors.


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Posted: 22nd Feb 2004 16:34
And Puffys still recovering - hence the reason we dont see him much...


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Flashing Blade
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Location: United Kingdom
Posted: 22nd Feb 2004 18:08
Quote: "Quote: ""Its a Knockout!""

Whatever happened to that show... it's been at least 12 years since I've seen an episode of it."


They been doing a new one in UK for a while now. It's on UK Challenge and hosted by Keith Chegwin (an utter prat).
Neophyte
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2004 18:45
@Dazzag

" Is it just me, or is the new Ge3ri not really like Geri? Or has he done *some* research into things? The old one was simply like your old uncle that sat in the corner, babbled a few things, then died, without anyone caring. But the new one can actually come up with one or two (intentionally badly written?....) decent sentences, now and again..."

Yes, the new Ge3ri is a fake. He's just some forum member pulling a stupid prank. I don't know why he hasn't been banned yet.
Easily Confused
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2004 19:19
Quote: "1) Help people as much as you can, and to the length your knowledge allows.
2) Do not or rarely flame and do not partake in flamebaits
3) Be a succesful contributer to the community by making things that others will find very useful after a while
4) Have patience and be mature
5) Do not ask to be a mod, Rich will appoint one a mod if he thinks that person is good enough."


Bugger!!


Quote: "No one knows about it except us mods. As you can see, after the last competition, the only ones standing were

Indi, TCA, IanM, RobK, Puffy,Me (RPGamer)"


...and the rest of those who took part were taken to maximum security installation and were never seen again.

Programming anything is an art, and you can't rush art.
Unless your name is Bob Ross, then you can do it in thirty minutes.
David T
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2004 19:52
So that's where MrBitmap went

And moochoos...

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Formerly David89.
IanM
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2004 20:19
Hey Preston, you forgot one ...

6. Need to have been using the forums for more than a day

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Lance Lumpy
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2004 20:50
Thanks!!!

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Pricey
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2004 21:02
Quote: "it's a knockout"


takeshi's castle?

the last chalenge is an utter let down


Dig a pit and poo in it
Lance Lumpy
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2004 21:10
yes the last challenge is an anti climax i agree. takeshis castle itsself though is quite funny!

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Lance Lumpy
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2004 21:12
Hang on, 1 more question. do you hav to be a professional at designing games on DB?
Sorry If I'm Asking too many questions

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Posted: 22nd Feb 2004 21:26 Edited at: 22nd Feb 2004 21:27
Well, at least your asking them in the right place this time...

Quote: "do you hav to be a professional at designing games on DB"

No, but you should be able to state whats wrong with using the GOTO command...


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John H
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2004 21:37
And be able to mathematically calculate the area and potential growth of the abstractly shaped mole on the forum idiots shoulder.


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Lance Lumpy
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2004 21:39
ok. thanks

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John H
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2004 21:57
NP First you have to figure out who 'that guy' is - took me forever!


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BatVink
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Posted: 23rd Feb 2004 09:12
I'm sure there must be a Forum somewhere that discusses forums that haven't had a new Mod recently.

I grew up on It's a Knockout and it never did me any haaaaaaaaarm! That's the trouble these days, too much Yugio and not enough cheese.

My 6 year old is addicted to Takeshi's Castle...did anyone see the international episode last night? Everyone was much better at it than the regular contestants...until it came to Bridge Ball, they couldn't even catch the Golden Ball.

BatVink (formerly StevieVee)
http://facepaint.me.uk/catalog/default.php
Dave J
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Posted: 23rd Feb 2004 09:48
I much prefer shows like It's a Knockout and Takeshi's Castle over the crappy 'reality' shyte that's all over today's TV, although over here Takeshi's Castle is now hosted by a couple nutcases straight off Big Brother...


"Computers are useless they can only give you answers."
Rob K
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Posted: 23rd Feb 2004 16:18
Quote: "
No one knows about it except us mods. As you can see, after the last competition, the only ones standing were

Indi
TCA
IanM
RobK
Puffy
Me (RPGamer)
"


Actually all that happened was that we brought Rich enough beers to get him very drunk then nicked the sacred *mod keys* off him.

TCA cheated with his many evil clones.


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Posted: 23rd Feb 2004 17:26
All hail me...


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Yian
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Posted: 23rd Feb 2004 17:27
Why in world would someone want to become mod?

I gots to go.
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Posted: 23rd Feb 2004 17:30 Edited at: 23rd Feb 2004 17:31
Because somebody's got to do it :

The power.. The respect... The backhanders... The women...
Actually, the last one is completely wrong (unfortunately)...


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Philip
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Posted: 23rd Feb 2004 17:49
Really? Whats all that I hear then about a certain purchase of inflatible [quickly slaps hand over his mouth]

mumble mumble

[carefully removes hand]

and, er, as I was saying about the weather ...

Philip

What do you mean, bears aren't supposed to wear hats and a tie? P1.3ghz / 384 megs / GeForce MX 5200 128meg / WinXP home
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Posted: 23rd Feb 2004 18:02
Hey - what Rob does in his own time, is up to him...


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Rob K
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Posted: 23rd Feb 2004 19:39
... and I won't even get started on what bears get up to.


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Hamish McHaggis
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Posted: 23rd Feb 2004 19:47
Part of the process is similar to that of S.A.S. training.... but harder.

Trying is the first step towards faliure.
The Basics of DBPro Tutorial, on my site now!
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IanM
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Posted: 23rd Feb 2004 20:06
Quote: "... and I won't even get started on what bears get up to."


What? Do you mean what they get up to when they are in the Woods? Is that actually true?

Hey Philip, does this mean you've met the pope?

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Gery
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Posted: 23rd Feb 2004 20:08
to becom a mod, just do like meee!!!!

...and then the evil hungarian terrorist killed the peacefull shootin' soviet soldiers...
MikeS
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Posted: 23rd Feb 2004 22:26
Quote: "to becom a mod, just do like meee!!!! "


I just felt like quoting this.



A book? I hate book. Book is stupid.
Mattman
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Posted: 24th Feb 2004 02:37
I always wondered what animals do in their free time...
John H
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Posted: 24th Feb 2004 03:42
You guys forgot my clones running around here...heh sorry about that Cmon..you guys didnt like 50 of me running around here? How COULDNT you like that!


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Preston C
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Posted: 24th Feb 2004 03:43
Quote: "You guys forgot my clones running around here...heh sorry about that Cmon..you guys didnt like 50 of me running around here? How COULDNT you like that!
"


Easy, we can only stand being jealous with one or two team leaders, not 50

Cheers,
Preston


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UnderLord
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Posted: 24th Feb 2004 19:22
i think i know the real way to become a mod and here it is

(the rest are just fakes tryin to lead you down a stray path *moves eyes side to side* yeah....)

1. Be like a evil genious
2. code something in DB or DBP that will take over the world then you can become a mod....anywhere....
3. wear deoderant...it might not be "smellnet" yet but the women will like you more...
4. you must be going though puberty to beable to do #3
5. if you can't do #3 & 4 then wait 7 years.
6. eat corn
7. like fast food and eat enough to become slightly over weight
8. prepare for world war 3 & 4 (if you survive 3)
9. Distroy all other DBP and DB code so that way you'll be the ultimate DBP and DB coder....
10. last but not least...PRAISE me like a god ***** and have a nice day

The search continues.

Current project - A space game
Megaton Cat
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Posted: 24th Feb 2004 19:53
and also:

11.Suck up to Rich.


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John H
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Posted: 24th Feb 2004 22:23
Ya Rich is the coolest


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Preston C
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Posted: 24th Feb 2004 22:55
Quote: "Ya Rich is the coolest "


<cough>liar</cough>

He might be the forum admin, and he might be a good person to talk to and go to for reference, but he is in no way the "coolest".

Cheers,
Preston


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Posted: 25th Feb 2004 11:43
Quite true - a snowman is cooler...


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adr
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Posted: 25th Feb 2004 16:53 Edited at: 25th Feb 2004 16:56
-- edit --

*sigh*

I wish the fact that this is a multiple-page post was indicated more obviously.

ignore me ... but not indefinately

Lord Ozzum
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Posted: 28th Feb 2004 18:39
NO! MATTMAN'S UNCLE IS OBVIOUSLY COOLER THEN RICH!!!!
How do I know this? Mattman told me!
I have the ways to become a mod.....but, from now on, you must make this journey alone...or forever risk becoming a wondering Mr X.....



1) Must be able to speak 'mod...'

2) Must have at least three vials of Anti-Ge3ri...

3) Must only speak in whispers in the dark...

4) Must not only know who Pink Floyd is but must have a cd of theirs and have a Metallica cup...

5) Must visit Area 51, sneak past all of the guards, and steal the alien (which is where I was caught)...

6) Must have all of the powers of a user, but be able to materialize 'mod' powers...

7) Must have two burn scars...

8) Must know a 'mod'...

9) (@|\| r3@|) -|-|-||$ @|\||) $p3@|< |33-|-...

10) Can't be an A student...

Come crawling faster, Obey your Master, Your life burns faster, Obey your MASTER!!!
MASTER!!!
---Master of Puppets, Metallica
John H
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Posted: 28th Feb 2004 19:01 Edited at: 28th Feb 2004 19:06
oSpeaking mod is easy
oI have 23094709284 vials of anti-ge3ri
oSpeaking in whispers in the dark is fun
oMe and Pink Floyd go waaaaay back
oThose area 51 guards have the attention span of a 2 year old ox
oMaterializing mod powers..easy
Yea I had to burn myself to get those burn scars...had help from TCA area tho...and dont even say you meant to throw the torch at the squirrel and hit the back of my head by mistake!
][ 4(v) (v)()$-|- (3|2-|-4|\| ][ (@|\| |234|),$34|<3 4|\||) \/\/|21-|-3 -|-3|-| |_33-|-




=)


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