Sorry your browser is not supported!

You are using an outdated browser that does not support modern web technologies, in order to use this site please update to a new browser.

Browsers supported include Chrome, FireFox, Safari, Opera, Internet Explorer 10+ or Microsoft Edge.

Geek Culture / The greatest Motion Picture of all time

Author
Message
Matt Rock
19
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 5th Mar 2005
Location: Binghamton NY USA
Posted: 6th Mar 2006 05:51 Edited at: 6th Mar 2006 05:52
Link
After watching the Oscars tonight, I've decided I'm going to create a movie that will win in every single category for the year it's released. My film will be a heartwarming tale about a handicapped homosexual minority who is HIV positive and battling cancer, Lou Gherigs disease, and accute manic depression, all taking place in Japan during the early 1800's. It will be a a 30-minute short, filmed entirely in Germany, and will be fully animated with the best special effects money can buy. Live actors will play over the animations. I'll find a person with these disorders and name the main character after them, then write a short story about them, and then write a screenplay that's loosely based on my short story and film the entire thing as a documentary about the shifting tides in international commerce and trade relations.

This way I can win best film, best actor, best actress, best supporting people, best foreign film, best sound, best effects, best animated film, best short film, best biography, best original screenplay, and best adaptation. What am I leaving out here?

edit: Oh yeah, and best documentary


"Hell is an Irish Pub where it's St. Paddy's day all year long" ~ Christopher, The Sopranos
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Mnemonix
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 2nd Dec 2002
Location: Skaro
Posted: 6th Mar 2006 05:54
Link
No.

WE SHALL BECOME ALL POWERFUL! CRUSH THE LESSER RACES! CONQUER THE GALAXY! UNIMAGINABLE POWER! UNLIMITED RICE PUDDING ! ! ! ETC. ! ! ! ETC.! ! !
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Benjamin
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 24th Nov 2002
Location: France
Posted: 6th Mar 2006 06:03 Edited at: 6th Mar 2006 06:05
Link
I think you made up best biography.

Tempest - P2P UDP Multiplayer Plugin - 70%

Attachments

Login to view attachments
Back to top
Profile PM Email
jasonhtml
20
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 20th Mar 2004
Location: OC, California, USA
Posted: 6th Mar 2006 06:08
Link
wow, how long did it take to come up with that

Deathquest (MMORPG)
Deathquest Thread: http://forum.thegamecreators.com/?m=forum_view&t=61108&b=8
DD Studios Website: http://www.geocities.com/jasonhtml/
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
JoelJ
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 8th Sep 2003
Location: UTAH
Posted: 6th Mar 2006 06:11
Link
you bring stupid ideas to a whole new level...




This just in: White lab coats cause cancer in mice. Details comming soon.
Back to top
Profile PM Website
Baggers
20
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 31st May 2004
Location: Yonder over dem dere hills
Posted: 6th Mar 2006 06:16
Link
*Tips hat to Matt Rock*
Your onto a winner my boy

Back to top
Profile PM Email
ionstream
20
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 4th Jul 2004
Location: Overweb
Posted: 6th Mar 2006 06:22
Link
Baggers, why is the rabbit in your sig doing the nazi salute? :S



Back to top
Profile PM Website
Matt Rock
19
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 5th Mar 2005
Location: Binghamton NY USA
Posted: 6th Mar 2006 06:50
Link
Quote: "I think you made up best biography."

I don't think so... they did something with Best Biography tonight... if it wasn't an award it was a "montage," but in either case I wasn't really paying attention

Quote: "wow, how long did it take to come up with that"

About three minutes. I think that makes me a genius

Quote: "you bring stupid ideas to a whole new level..."

Sad thing is, that movie would win at least three oscars


"Hell is an Irish Pub where it's St. Paddy's day all year long" ~ Christopher, The Sopranos
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Me!
19
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 26th Jul 2005
Location:
Posted: 6th Mar 2006 11:01 Edited at: 6th Mar 2006 12:51
Link
sounds about right, although I think you should set it in the present day to save costs, and include one major explosion every ten minutes (done with some low end proprietry flame effect software), apart from the last ten minutes, that should be one drawn out series of major explosions followed by an uber-massive explosion that the hero just escapes (preferably done in space in zero g with the flames/smoke going up and the wreckage falling downwards, and it should look as though it killed the hero until he pushes the huge section of polystyrene wall/girders off himself and climbs from the wreckage), you also need one failed relationship or betrayal per half hour, two arguements involving profanity/violence/murder every ten minutes, four pointless scenes involving sex and every outdoor scene should include a barrel filled with burning rubbish and two vagrants minimum, oh! and don`t forget to employ someone to make sure any technical details have nothing to do with reality.



Windows: 32 bit extension/graphical shell for a 16bit patch to an 8bit OS originally coded for a 4bit CPU, written by a 2bit company that can't stand 1bit of competition, now available in 64bits.
Back to top
Profile PM
OSX Using Happy Dude
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 21st Aug 2003
Location: At home
Posted: 6th Mar 2006 11:39 Edited at: 6th Mar 2006 11:47
Link
Dont forget to include slo-mo animation, time travel, a suprise ending that isn't really surprising and people talking to the camera.

And make the whole film appear to be a dream (or a hologram generated simulation, ala last episode of Enterprise).

Blog:http://spaces.msn.com/members/BouncyBrick/
Web Site:http://www.nicholaskingsley.co.uk
Trust me, I know what I'm doing.
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
TDP Enterprises
19
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 28th Mar 2005
Location: on or in front of my computer
Posted: 6th Mar 2006 12:46
Link
and if a hott chick wakes up and hears a sound in the middle of the night, she will go outside and investigate in her most revealing nightwear

Snow Wars is making its return, check out the Game Design Theory board for more info...
Back to top
Profile PM
Megaton Cat
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 24th Aug 2003
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posted: 6th Mar 2006 13:11
Link
Am I the only one here that sees Matt Rock's brilliance?

Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
OSX Using Happy Dude
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 21st Aug 2003
Location: At home
Posted: 6th Mar 2006 13:40 Edited at: 6th Mar 2006 13:41
Link
Probably... Except on Wednesday, when everyone does (unless its at night, when everyone will on Tueday, unless its raining or sunny).

Blog:http://spaces.msn.com/members/BouncyBrick/
Web Site:http://www.nicholaskingsley.co.uk
Trust me, I know what I'm doing.
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Baggers
20
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 31st May 2004
Location: Yonder over dem dere hills
Posted: 6th Mar 2006 16:10
Link
Ionstream: Helps with his rheumatism

Back to top
Profile PM Email
Matt Rock
19
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 5th Mar 2005
Location: Binghamton NY USA
Posted: 6th Mar 2006 17:05
Link
Megaton's with me here This is pure 100% oscar material!

Quote: "sounds about right, although I think you should set it in the present day to save costs"

But if we don't make it a period piece we won't take the costume oscar.

Quote: "Dont forget to include slo-mo animation, time travel, a suprise ending that isn't really surprising and people talking to the camera"

Time travel! Of course! This way we can win the Oscar for makeup and it'll help with the special effects! Genius! Stinky, I'm hiring you as a writer

Quote: "oh! and don`t forget to employ someone to make sure any technical details have nothing to do with reality."

Of course... I'm professional I understand the importance of hiring technical advisors with absolutely no experience in the fields this movie will encompass.

Quote: "Probably... Except on Wednesday, when everyone does (unless its at night, when everyone will on Tueday, unless its raining or sunny)."


So if it's wednesday, not dark out, or nighttime and there's overcast or snow, then everyone thinks I'm brilliant? ROCK! hehe. From now on I'm only releasing games and movies on Wednesdays


"Hell is an Irish Pub where it's St. Paddy's day all year long" ~ Christopher, The Sopranos
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
JoelJ
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 8th Sep 2003
Location: UTAH
Posted: 6th Mar 2006 17:39
Link
Quote: "Am I the only one here that sees Matt Rock's brilliance?"

yes


This just in: White lab coats cause cancer in mice. Details comming soon.
Back to top
Profile PM Website
Matt Rock
19
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 5th Mar 2005
Location: Binghamton NY USA
Posted: 6th Mar 2006 17:53
Link
Joel, take your ritalin


"Hell is an Irish Pub where it's St. Paddy's day all year long" ~ Christopher, The Sopranos
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Me!
19
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 26th Jul 2005
Location:
Posted: 6th Mar 2006 19:14 Edited at: 6th Mar 2006 19:15
Link
Joels just suffering envy , he can`t hack serious competition , this is truly a great undertaking, but I still think you could use Elizabethan costume in present day settings by basing it on the lives of actors, that way you can use any class of movie that would increase your oscar opportunities, Wild West, Tudor, Roman, etc, plus it means you don`t have to worry about continuity , you can blame it on the poor continuity of the scene depicted in the story , in fact as a part documentary you can dispense with a plot...it just gets better....awesome



Windows: 32 bit extension/graphical shell for a 16bit patch to an 8bit OS originally coded for a 4bit CPU, written by a 2bit company that can't stand 1bit of competition, now available in 64bits.
Back to top
Profile PM
Matt Rock
19
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 5th Mar 2005
Location: Binghamton NY USA
Posted: 6th Mar 2006 19:52
Link
All great ideas, but we need to keep the plot to take the "best original screenplay" and "best adaptation" oscars

We should hire Phillip Seymore Hoffman, Tom Hanks, and... I dunno, a bunch of other super-talented actors and actresses... all oscar winners of course!


"Hell is an Irish Pub where it's St. Paddy's day all year long" ~ Christopher, The Sopranos
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Fallout
22
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 1st Sep 2002
Location: Basingstoke, England
Posted: 6th Mar 2006 21:07
Link
That's exactly the sort of arty shy-toe-babble that'll get you the moulded-polystyrne-with-a-coating-of-tin Oscars that you so deserve.

Go for it my son.

Back to top
Profile PM
Manticore Night
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 23rd Oct 2003
Location: Ouinnipeg
Posted: 6th Mar 2006 21:10
Link
Can I play Tom Hanks!?

[center]It's amazing how much TV has raised us. (Bart Simpson)

He's back! With 20% less intelligence!
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Matt Rock
19
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 5th Mar 2005
Location: Binghamton NY USA
Posted: 6th Mar 2006 21:17
Link
@ Fallout: LOL so true... I'm totally winning in 2007

@ Manticore: I was thinking Tom would play Phillip and Phillip would play Tom... but you can play Tom Hank's Canadian identical twin cousin Eddie. But he suffers from leprosey (sp?) so you'd need to spend 5 hours every day in makeup... it's up to you

Did I mention that every character in this movie is terminally ill?


"Hell is an Irish Pub where it's St. Paddy's day all year long" ~ Christopher, The Sopranos
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Manticore Night
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 23rd Oct 2003
Location: Ouinnipeg
Posted: 6th Mar 2006 21:21
Link
Quote: "so you'd need to spend 5 hours every day in makeup... it's up to you "
Only if I get to wear lipstick.

[center]It's amazing how much TV has raised us. (Bart Simpson)

He's back! With 20% less intelligence!
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Matt Rock
19
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 5th Mar 2005
Location: Binghamton NY USA
Posted: 6th Mar 2006 21:28
Link
Of course! We're talking about Tom Hank's canadian leper identical twin cousin Eddie here

I think we should name this movie "Canadian Leper." Whatcha think?


"Hell is an Irish Pub where it's St. Paddy's day all year long" ~ Christopher, The Sopranos
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Fallout
22
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 1st Sep 2002
Location: Basingstoke, England
Posted: 6th Mar 2006 21:35 Edited at: 6th Mar 2006 21:36
Link
"Kingdom of Scabies"

Back to top
Profile PM
Megaton Cat
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 24th Aug 2003
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posted: 6th Mar 2006 22:37
Link
I guess you guys just don't appriciate good writing.

Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Chris K
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 7th Oct 2003
Location: Lake Hylia
Posted: 6th Mar 2006 23:13
Link
Quote: "Am I the only one here that sees Matt Rock's brilliance?"


No I see it too.

I am literally still laughing and I read it three years ago when some other idiot came up with this widly unoriginal joke.

Back to top
Profile PM
TDP Enterprises
19
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 28th Mar 2005
Location: on or in front of my computer
Posted: 6th Mar 2006 23:17
Link
make eddie a mountie and...

"Brokeback Mountie"

Snow Wars is making its return, check out the Game Design Theory board for more info...
Back to top
Profile PM
Chris K
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 7th Oct 2003
Location: Lake Hylia
Posted: 6th Mar 2006 23:20
Link
That's not even in the same theme as the other ones.

That is just complete and utter crap.

This reminds me of a bit from Corner Gas.

Back to top
Profile PM
TDP Enterprises
19
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 28th Mar 2005
Location: on or in front of my computer
Posted: 6th Mar 2006 23:30 Edited at: 6th Mar 2006 23:32
Link
Quote: "That is just complete and utter crap"
you just made me break down in tears, thanks

Snow Wars is making its return, check out the Game Design Theory board for more info...
Back to top
Profile PM
Cian Rice
20
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 8th Jun 2004
Location:
Posted: 6th Mar 2006 23:39
Link
Okay, Matt. I've called Uwe Bolle and he's decided to adapt your idea to a movie which he's going to start tomorrow.

[url=http://profile.mygamercard.net/Fryedrycestyle]

[/url]
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Jeku
Moderator
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 4th Jul 2003
Location: Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Posted: 7th Mar 2006 00:54
Link
Quote: "This reminds me of a bit from Corner Gas."


*shudders*

That show is about as funny as falling on one's own face.


Automaton Games website has been revamped! Check it out!
Back to top
Profile PM Website
Matt Rock
19
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 5th Mar 2005
Location: Binghamton NY USA
Posted: 7th Mar 2006 02:39
Link
Quote: "I am literally still laughing and I read it three years ago when some other idiot came up with this widly unoriginal joke."

Well, I didn't hear it three years ago, or ever for that matter, so I think it's pretty friggin' original.

Quote: "Okay, Matt. I've called Uwe Bolle and he's decided to adapt your idea to a movie which he's going to start tomorrow. "

No no no! Call him and tell him he can produce but I want to direct! That way we can win at Sundance, too


"Hell is an Irish Pub where it's St. Paddy's day all year long" ~ Christopher, The Sopranos
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Joe Cooning
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 29th Mar 2003
Location: United States
Posted: 7th Mar 2006 05:31
Link
Before anyone forgets, at least one major character must be done in cg.

Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
JoelJ
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 8th Sep 2003
Location: UTAH
Posted: 7th Mar 2006 06:06
Link
Quote: "Joel, take your ritalin "

the problem isn't from NOT taking it...


This just in: White lab coats cause cancer in mice. Details comming soon.
Back to top
Profile PM Website
re faze
20
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 24th Sep 2004
Location: The shores of hell.
Posted: 7th Mar 2006 06:13
Link
its a bit asynchronous, but go for it.

Dont code slowly be SWIFT about it!
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Matt Rock
19
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 5th Mar 2005
Location: Binghamton NY USA
Posted: 7th Mar 2006 15:26
Link
@ Joe: Good point. Phillip Seymour Hoffman's character will be done in CG but made to look exactly like him (but as a minority, because they all need to be minorities)

@ Joel: Cut back on the dosage then

@ re faze: what's asynchronous about it? I think it's a very deep and well-plotted.... uh... plot.


"Hell is an Irish Pub where it's St. Paddy's day all year long" ~ Christopher, The Sopranos
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
OSX Using Happy Dude
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 21st Aug 2003
Location: At home
Posted: 7th Mar 2006 16:19
Link
Dont forget you MUST have subtitles - film it in English, and add English subtitles...

Blog:http://spaces.msn.com/members/BouncyBrick/
Web Site:http://www.nicholaskingsley.co.uk
Trust me, I know what I'm doing.
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Manticore Night
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 23rd Oct 2003
Location: Ouinnipeg
Posted: 7th Mar 2006 17:52
Link
No, just get everone to talk gibberish and say it's in Swahili.

[center]It's amazing how much TV has raised us. (Bart Simpson)

He's back! With 20% less intelligence!
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Cian Rice
20
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 8th Jun 2004
Location:
Posted: 7th Mar 2006 18:32
Link
Okay, Uwe will produce, under one condition. The actual movie has to have no relation to the script.

[url=http://profile.mygamercard.net/Fryedrycestyle]

[/url]
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Matt Rock
19
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 5th Mar 2005
Location: Binghamton NY USA
Posted: 7th Mar 2006 19:03
Link
@ stinky and Manticore - What if we compromise by having Benjamin translate the whole thing into French, but we don't use the translations at all?

@ Anime: Tell Uwe it's a deal


"Hell is an Irish Pub where it's St. Paddy's day all year long" ~ Christopher, The Sopranos
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Seppuku Arts
Moderator
20
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 18th Aug 2004
Location: Cambridgeshire, England
Posted: 7th Mar 2006 19:33
Link
I think any one could come up with more intriging story lines than some of the hollywood crap like Matt Rock has done. Some focus on effects and action to win the audience, but that only works when everything else is crappy, and the effects have to feel realistic, unlike I robot, I just sat there thinking, is there supposed to be tension here.

Then again I haven't been watching the oscars so I don't know what movies have been nominated. But what I do know is, the advertisement is driving me insane, for christ sake on sky one I was watching the simpsons, in the break you have the advert, and when that animation thing saying 'Sky One' had the person mention them, and when the break had finished the banner took up a quarter of the screen advertising them, come on we get the idea!

Back to top
Profile PM Website
Manticore Night
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 23rd Oct 2003
Location: Ouinnipeg
Posted: 7th Mar 2006 20:08
Link
Quote: "What if we compromise by having Benjamin translate the whole thing into French, but we don't use the translations at all?"
Aw come on Ben just lives in France, he doesn't even know what Maudit means. I could translate it. But I'd want to take.. um.. liberties with it.

[center]It's amazing how much TV has raised us. (Bart Simpson)

He's back! With 20% less intelligence!
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Jeku
Moderator
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 4th Jul 2003
Location: Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Posted: 8th Mar 2006 00:19
Link
Quote: "Aw come on Ben just lives in France"


But you just live in Winnipeg, so what's the difference? Winnipeg isn't exactly a centre-piece of the French language, is it?


Automaton Games website has been revamped! Check it out!
Back to top
Profile PM Website
Matt Rock
19
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 5th Mar 2005
Location: Binghamton NY USA
Posted: 8th Mar 2006 00:35
Link
Quote: "I think any one could come up with more intriging story lines than some of the hollywood crap like Matt Rock has done."


Seppuku missed the point


"Hell is an Irish Pub where it's St. Paddy's day all year long" ~ Christopher, The Sopranos
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Manticore Night
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 23rd Oct 2003
Location: Ouinnipeg
Posted: 8th Mar 2006 01:28 Edited at: 8th Mar 2006 01:29
Link
Quote: "But you just live in Winnipeg, so what's the difference? Winnipeg isn't exactly a centre-piece of the French language, is it?"
Well, Vancouver isn't the center peice of the english language, now is it?

The difference is that in another thread Ben asked what Maudit means. I don't pretend to know all the words, in french. Hell! I don't even know all the words in english! But atleast I know what "damn"(maudit) is.

I don't mean to offend if Ben takes it that way.

[center]It's amazing how much TV has raised us. (Bart Simpson)

He's back! With 20% less intelligence!
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Cian Rice
20
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 8th Jun 2004
Location:
Posted: 8th Mar 2006 02:12
Link
Okay Uwe says the movies almost done. So far the main character is being played by Ben Aflec and the supporting role is being done by Arny.

[url=http://profile.mygamercard.net/Fryedrycestyle]

[/url]
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Jeku
Moderator
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 4th Jul 2003
Location: Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Posted: 8th Mar 2006 02:40
Link
Quote: "Well, Vancouver isn't the center peice of the english language, now is it?"


You're right. There are probably more Asian students here than white, Anglos.


Automaton Games website has been revamped! Check it out!
Back to top
Profile PM Website
Matt Rock
19
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 5th Mar 2005
Location: Binghamton NY USA
Posted: 8th Mar 2006 03:28
Link
Anime, this is supposed to be a multi-oscar winning film. We can't win oscars with Ben Affleck and Arnold Schwarzenegger. But tell Ah-nuld I'm flattered that he'd come out of retirement to do my latest flick


"Hell is an Irish Pub where it's St. Paddy's day all year long" ~ Christopher, The Sopranos
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Sid Sinister
19
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 10th Jul 2005
Location:
Posted: 8th Mar 2006 05:42
Link
The Matrix , hands down.
Back to top
Profile PM Email
Back to top

Login to post a reply

Server time is: 2024-11-16 19:37:22
Your offset time is: 2024-11-16 19:37:22