I really cannot see what the game looks like when you do those split screen things.
The first screenie looks good, but I don't know what that weird white and black stuff is on the outside of the window.
The second screenie looks like you are having lightmapping problems (the lightmap just stops). I also think that there should be more lights.
Somewhat off topic question:
Quote: "The full name is REVOLT: Rise Against"
Ever hear the band Rise Against?
On topic statement:
The story sounds more interesting than before, but if it were me, I would take out the part where you get modified with cyborg parts unless this will be evident in gameplay (and I don't mean just having lots of health). Just my opinion.