Ooh, lovely work! The model is good, and conveys the whole Steampunk theme well. The texture is good on the right hand side of the first pic (the keyboard-like block) but a little more detail on the pistons, tank and whistle tube thing at the end would vastly improve it, like you said.
As for the script, well I've thought up my own plot, essentially. It incorporates:
The main character as an intellectual, Victorian secret agent.
A space-station orbiting Mars, where the prince's palace is.
Butter's idea of an airship crash.
Levels in both London and Mars.
The mind-reading enemies, and a factory that makes them.
The Queen of England as a manipulative woman prepared to exploit her position as head of state for her own benefit, rather than the country's.
Just to be absolutely clear, the Queen in my plot is not in any way based off any Queen, living or dead. It just fitted in better with the theme of the game.
Also, there's quite a bit of walking around, NOT shooting things. This is mostly, at the beginning of the game, to give a sense of place and time to the player (like in Half Life 1 and 2, or Call of Cthulhu). Also, I'm trying to steer fairly clear of boss battles: there will certainly be tough enemies, but I always thought FPSC was a bit poor when it came to boss battles: they mostly devolve into "make this person faster and stronger and give them a big gun" which isn't really fun at all.
Also, this plot will have quite a lot of stuff crammed into it for a relatively short game. But I don't want to sacrifice any plot intricacies for the sake of anyone who just wants a shoot-shoot-kill-reload-shoot-shoot-win kind of game. (Or, if you do like that kind of game, you can just ignore all the plot anyway! Then everyone's happy.)
This is mostly in my head, though. I've written out most of the first level (although it might be several FPSC levels), which introduces the player into this complex world, and is a real pain (and yet, at the same time, indescribable fun) to get right.
One final query: this plot can be split up into everything before Mars declares war, and everything after Mars declares war. Now, my preferred method (as a writer) is to start when Mars declares war and then chop and change the narrative back and forward. But, would it be a better idea to just have one long narrative thread, and just go chronologically? I'd like to move around the narrative, plus it allows me to start the game in a more interesting place, but there are also benefits to just going chronologically.
I'm not actually a Kiwi, I just randomly thought it up one day.
