1st.
Don't post in BMP. If you save your image as JPEG, we don't have to download. And therefore we might actually look at what you've attached.
2nd. (and to answer your question)
The script you're showing, isn't an FPSC FPI script, but a .x script.
The one on the left of your image looks like the kind of .X that Maya exports, which is uncompressed, and contains all the headers etc.
the one on the right looks like the kind of .X which Milkshape exports, and is compressed, which is why it's harder to read.
First things first, I'd download the DirectX SDK (google it), it's a massive file (400mb anyone), but, it includes the DirectX mesh viewer. This will allow you to load that mesh up and view it in 3D, as opposed to as a .txt file.
It's probably at this point we'll be able to tell if your model will work or not. If the mesh won't load into the mesh viewer, then chances are it corrupt in some way, and won't work in FPSC.
If it loads in the mesh viewer then you're good to go.
All you need to do is download the entity maker. If you'd rather do it by hand (as in making your own FPE), then you'll need to do some searching around in the Models and media forum, or at least, have a look in the entity bank of your FPSC folder to see how things are done.
if you post the mesh here (so long as you have permission from the author to do so), I'll have a look at it and tell you if it's your error, or the mesh's, if it's just a case of writing an FPE, I'll sort it out and send it back to you.
Butters