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Robert F
User Banned
Posted: 21st Aug 2007 03:36 Edited at: 24th Aug 2007 22:53
This is sort of a diary story:

I'd been at Phase4 for about a year. They were a bio-pharmaseuticals company producing mass market flu vaccines. Of course, off the record they developed pandemic bio-weapons and engineered socio-control tools...you think AIDs was started by monkies? forget it. That was Phase4, contracted to create a virus that would keep 3rd world contries in poverty forever. Their populations dying in their thousands while their governments payed us millions for ineffective vaccines.
I didn't care about the immorality of the company, or the fact that I probably helped instigate some of the world's most destructive killers. Sars, Aids, Bird Flu, we were there. Making the population sick, and selling them vaccines 2 months later.

I worked in Control. My job was to make sure that the wrong people got the right things at the right time.

July 26th. The day the fit hit the shan.
Carlos Dimitri was my supervisor. He'd gather orders, and find which people needed to get sick and when. Once he had an order, I'd do the leg work, meeting clients, passing over the product, and making sure things got done propperly.

The People's Liberation Army of Sudan or PLAS were supposed to recieve and release a flu epidemic into the Candah region, estimated death toll 15,000. Profit from resale of vaccines $1.2mil. But Carlos screwed up. The PLAS used the virus on a UN peace keeping force, and caused a global news frenzy.

Phase4 needed a fall-guy. Someone who could be blamed as a rogue agent. Someone who could take the blame in the media, and die mysteriously before he could defend his innocence...me.

They played it cool. Sent me home for the day on suspension. When I got back to my appartment, I crashed on the sofa, watching UN soldiers cough up their lungs into the dusty Sudanese soil on CNN live. I remember seeing two men in the reflection of my television screen. I squinted, trying to work out what the hell was going on...

When you're shot in the head, you can lose total synapse functionality in one cortex, while the other continues to function. You get maybe 12 seconds from the soft thumpk of the silencer.
I watched my blood make patterns on the coffee table in front of me.
When you die, you hope that someone will be there, holding your hand, telling you they love you. Telling you you were a great dad, telling you, you were a success.
All I had was some hitman's voice telling Carlos it was done.


Now you as Jason Spencer, just walking out of the hospital, are on a quest to hunt down Carlos and the two men who shot you

in the game i will have more diary messages, and thanks alot butters for the story

Pic 1 attached


Game Log:

August 20th- started game
August 22nd- Finished first level, Started Second, decieded to combine The K.O. and The Warehouse
August 23rd- done with 3rd level, 4th level will be a former level of the game warehouse

Robert F

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Robert F
User Banned
Posted: 21st Aug 2007 03:42
Screeny #2

Robert F

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Robert F
User Banned
Posted: 21st Aug 2007 03:43
Screeny #3

Robert F

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Robert F
User Banned
Posted: 21st Aug 2007 03:44
Screeny #4

Robert F

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Cheese Cake
17
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Joined: 11th Dec 2006
Location: At the bakery
Posted: 21st Aug 2007 04:08
Okey screenies are looking...quite good.

But the story...well...the story isnt good at all.

I mean finalize every detail of the story.

How did he came back from hell?

Why had they had to do it?

Etc etc...

I mean a FPS game isnt only about a decent lay-out of the levels.

Its mostly in the story.
FADE Studios
17
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Joined: 3rd May 2007
Location:
Posted: 21st Aug 2007 04:28
sounds like Resident Evil Zero, Marcus returns from the dead with the help of some leeches and gets revenge on the two who killed him ( they all worked for umbrella)

on a related note...

It sounds like an okay plot, but if it's in 2070, the guys who killed him would be dead

Manager Of The Soon To Become Known Fade Studios
Robert F
User Banned
Posted: 21st Aug 2007 04:30 Edited at: 21st Aug 2007 04:46
Quote: "I mean finalize every detail of the story.

How did he came back from hell?

Why had they had to do it?"


ok i will fix that stuff.

Quote: "It sounds like an okay plot, but if it's in 2070, the guys who killed him would be dead"


ha ha never thought of that i will change it

Edit: there i changed the whole story

Robert F
Stoopid
17
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Joined: 8th Jul 2006
Location: Outside your window with a laptop.
Posted: 21st Aug 2007 05:12
Quote: "hunt down Carlos and the two men"

How did he know Carlos hired the men?

Looks great btw.


phil17
18
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Location:
Posted: 21st Aug 2007 05:13
Screenies look good, nice story. keep going

Robert F
User Banned
Posted: 21st Aug 2007 05:14 Edited at: 21st Aug 2007 05:17
Quote: "How did he know Carlos hired the men?"


yeah still got to figure that out, i guess he has pysic powers no im j/p still thinkin though....

should have some more screens coming soon though

Robert F
Robert F
User Banned
Posted: 21st Aug 2007 05:47 Edited at: 21st Aug 2007 07:08
here is a pic of the first loading screen

Robert F

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Stoopid
17
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Joined: 8th Jul 2006
Location: Outside your window with a laptop.
Posted: 21st Aug 2007 06:21 Edited at: 21st Aug 2007 06:22
July 26th 2007
I remember this day very clearly, I had gone to work at the K.O. Lab(KillZone Observations), the day was going fine, when Carlos(My Boss) told me that he had to let me go, but before he did he had one more job for me, he told me that there were some unwanted guests at the front door and he wanted me to go take care of them, when I got to the door I saw two men, one short and sort of chubby and the other kind of stocky, they both had guns, and then......


What if you said 'they both had guns, and somehow, I knew Carlos had set me up. He never did like me. The two men took out guns, and the last thing I remember, was the two mens faces of carelessness...' or something like that.


Robert F
User Banned
Posted: 21st Aug 2007 06:27
Quote: "What if you said 'they both had guns, and somehow, I knew Carlos had set me up. He never did like me. The two men took out guns, and the last thing I remember, was the two mens faces of carelessness...' or something like that."


yeah thanks thats much better

Robert F
TGPEG
17
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Joined: 28th Dec 2006
Location: Bristol, United Kingdom
Posted: 21st Aug 2007 17:32 Edited at: 21st Aug 2007 17:36
Quote: "KillZone Observations"

I'm not sure about "KillZone". Are you allowed to use that name? I'm sure there is a copyright for it

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Robert F
User Banned
Posted: 21st Aug 2007 17:54 Edited at: 21st Aug 2007 19:37
Quote: "I'm not sure about "KillZone". Are you allowed to use that name? I'm sure there is a copyright for it"


oops i will change it

Edit: well actually i shouldnt have to because its not just "KillZone" its "KillZone Obeservations"

Edit Again: Just to let everybody know i am going to enter this into the level comptetion(not good at spelling), so if you guys want a demo go there(the first level comptetion)

Robert F

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TGPEG
17
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Joined: 28th Dec 2006
Location: Bristol, United Kingdom
Posted: 21st Aug 2007 21:29
Quote: "well actually i shouldnt have to because its not just "KillZone" its "KillZone Obeservations""


Maybe, but it's still a bit of an iffy area, if you know what I mean.

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Robert F
User Banned
Posted: 21st Aug 2007 21:46
Quote: "Maybe, but it's still a bit of an iffy area, if you know what I mean"


yeah i know what you mean

Robert F
Disturbing 13
19
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Location: Murder Capital of the World
Posted: 21st Aug 2007 22:43
plus naming something after an existing product kinda raised the lack of imagination level. I would definitely go with something different.


Robert F
User Banned
Posted: 21st Aug 2007 22:47
ok i will change it... how about no mercy

Robert F
darimc
17
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Location: Canada
Posted: 21st Aug 2007 22:56
why not Killer Observations?



Robert F
User Banned
Posted: 21st Aug 2007 22:58
Quote: "why not Killer Observations?"

ahh man thats a good one, thanks alot darimc

Robert F
TGPEG
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Location: Bristol, United Kingdom
Posted: 21st Aug 2007 23:14
Definitely Better

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Disturbing 13
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Location: Murder Capital of the World
Posted: 21st Aug 2007 23:48
What kind of lab is it to begin with? How about starting there. Do they develop things that kill? Even a weapons lab really wouldnt advertise with such a name. I could give you a decent lab name suggestion if I knew what they were publicly known to do.


Robert F
User Banned
Posted: 21st Aug 2007 23:52 Edited at: 22nd Aug 2007 00:40
Kill people j/p
they try to see why people died and stuff

Edit: New pic attached

Robert F

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Robert F
User Banned
Posted: 22nd Aug 2007 01:46
Another Diary log

Robert F

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Cheese Cake
17
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Joined: 11th Dec 2006
Location: At the bakery
Posted: 22nd Aug 2007 02:14
Uhm sorry so the purpose of the "lab" is to kill people?
Sort of assasins?

And why people died? They killed them thats how they died.
But no seriously...I think its best to go for a not lab idea.
And go for a special sort of mercenary team.
Robert F
User Banned
Posted: 22nd Aug 2007 02:14
ive made it so this game is not just scifi its scifi-normal-somewhat horror

Robert F
Robert F
User Banned
Posted: 22nd Aug 2007 02:15
Quote: "Uhm sorry so the purpose of the "lab" is to kill people?
Sort of assasins?

And why people died? They killed them thats how they died.
But no seriously...I think its best to go for a not lab idea.
And go for a special sort of mercenary team."


no i was just kidding about the thing about them killing people.

Ok good idea

Robert F
Robert F
User Banned
Posted: 23rd Aug 2007 04:28
New Pic(Framerate is slow cause my computer sucksBAD)

Robert F

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Robert F
User Banned
Posted: 23rd Aug 2007 04:29
another pic attached

Robert F

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Robert F
User Banned
Posted: 23rd Aug 2007 19:32
New Pic

Robert F

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Robert F
User Banned
Posted: 23rd Aug 2007 20:03
Another new pic

Robert F

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Robert F
User Banned
Posted: 23rd Aug 2007 20:05 Edited at: 23rd Aug 2007 20:06
Another another new pic

and can a mod rename this to Killer Observations

Robert F

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Cheese Cake
17
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Joined: 11th Dec 2006
Location: At the bakery
Posted: 23rd Aug 2007 23:47
Looking nice.
Keep up the good work!
Robert F
User Banned
Posted: 24th Aug 2007 00:26
thanks cheesecake(I love Cheesecake its good)

Robert F
Cheese Cake
17
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Location: At the bakery
Posted: 24th Aug 2007 15:17
Quote: "thanks cheesecake(I love Cheesecake its good)"



Yeah but my name is actually Cheese Cake
Dont know if its nice since i dont like Cheese
Robert F
User Banned
Posted: 24th Aug 2007 17:01
I like Cheese Cake, there i changed it

Robert F
Butter fingers
18
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Joined: 20th Mar 2006
Location: Mecca
Posted: 24th Aug 2007 17:43 Edited at: 24th Aug 2007 17:45
Quote: "and the last thing I remember, was the two mens faces of carelessness..."


Carelessness? huh? Doesn't that mean like
Quote: "1.not paying enough attention to what one does: a careless typist.
2.not exact, accurate, or thorough: careless work.
3.done or said heedlessly or negligently; unconsidered: a careless remark."


how about:

I'd been at Phase4 for about a year. They were a bio-pharmaseuticals company producing mass market flu vaccines. Of course, off the record they developed pandemic bio-weapons and engineered socio-control tools...you think AIDs was started by monkies? forget it. That was Phase4, contracted to create a virus that would keep 3rd world contries in poverty forever. Their populations dying in their thousands while their governments payed us millions for ineffective vaccines.
I didn't care about the immorality of the company, or the fact that I probably helped instigate some of the world's most destructive killers. Sars, Aids, Bird Flu, we were there. Making the population sick, and selling them vaccines 2 months later.

I worked in Control. My job was to make sure that the wrong people got the right things at the right time.

July 26th. The day the fit hit the shan.
Carlos Dimitri was my supervisor. He'd gather orders, and find which people needed to get sick and when. Once he had an order, I'd do the leg work, meeting clients, passing over the product, and making sure things got done propperly.

The People's Liberation Army of Sudan or PLAS were supposed to recieve and release a flu epidemic into the Candah region, estimated death toll 15,000. Profit from resale of vaccines $1.2mil. But Carlos screwed up. The PLAS used the virus on a UN peace keeping force, and caused a global news frenzy.

Phase4 needed a fall-guy. Someone who could be blamed as a rogue agent. Someone who could take the blame in the media, and die mysteriously before he could defend his innocence...me.

They played it cool. Sent me home for the day on suspension. When I got back to my appartment, I crashed on the sofa, watching UN soldiers cough up their lungs into the dusty Sudanese soil on CNN live. I remember seeing two men in the reflection of my television screen. I squinted, trying to work out what the hell was going on...

When you're shot in the head, you can lose total synapse functionality in one cortex, while the other continues to function. You get maybe 12 seconds from the soft thumpk of the silencer.
I watched my blood make patterns on the coffee table in front of me.
When you die, you hope that someone will be there, holding your hand, telling you they love you. Telling you you were a great dad, telling you, you were a success.
All I had was some hitman's voice telling Carlos it was done.

Mr Kohlenstoff
18
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Joined: 7th Jun 2006
Location: Germany
Posted: 24th Aug 2007 17:43
I like Cheese Cake too.

Game looks nice so far, good work.

Robert F
User Banned
Posted: 24th Aug 2007 17:49
Butters can i use that story

Robert F
Butter fingers
18
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Location: Mecca
Posted: 24th Aug 2007 18:18
Of course. I'm sat here in a train station on WiFi, bored out of my mind (so bored I pulled off some of my laptop keys an re-arranged them to make it more interesting).

I'd be happy for you to use the story dude. I hope you like it.
(credit please though)

Robert F
User Banned
Posted: 24th Aug 2007 18:20
dude thanks alot, i will put your name in the credits

Robert F
darimc
17
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Joined: 19th Jan 2007
Location: Canada
Posted: 24th Aug 2007 22:09
@butters, ooh. that's how I do my stories too (but I don't use spell check so they look messed).



Inspire
17
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Joined: 23rd Dec 2006
Location: Rochester, NY
Posted: 24th Aug 2007 22:43
Woah, that's a sweet story, Butters!

Robert F
User Banned
Posted: 24th Aug 2007 22:50
Quote: "Woah, that's a sweet story, Butters!"


I know isnt it

im so glad he made it

Robert F
darimc
17
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Joined: 19th Jan 2007
Location: Canada
Posted: 24th Aug 2007 22:53
That's the best storyline ever! It pwns any pro game by 100%



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