I just found this text file on my computer, and I have no recollection of ever writing this.
Here it is:
How to have fun and feel cool on the internet - a guide by TheComet.
Introduction
The internet is a harsh place to be. Depending on where you are and what you participate in, you can easily get yourself into some real problems, such as being a victim of trolls, being made to believe false information, or receiving hateful messages and threats.
This guide will not only teach you how to turn the tables, but will also make you more aware of the waters you tread.
The internet is full of fools and idiots you can take advantage of. The key is to enter a discussion with these fools only when you have an advantage over the person you wish to discuss a topic with. Usually, the emotional side of the person is targeted, because emotions are rooted deep into our primitive brains and can produce hilarious results when manipulated correctly, given the person does not know how to deal with emotions properly.
In this guide, I will explain two methods to achieve this, and I will explain the dangers involved.
Disclaimer: This guide should not be used to harm people over the internet. If you do so, the author of this document is not responsible for your actions and their consequences.
Chapter 1 - Trolling
"Trolling" is the action of evoking an emotional response from someone over the internet for your own amusement. It does not matter if you convey correct or false information to get to this stage.
Chapter 1.1 - Basic Trolling
The basic troll is someone who has his small toolbox of responses, and exists to be plain annoying.
The common toolbox contains phrases which can be used in response to statements in a nonsensical manner. Example of a toolbox:
- but will it blend
- fake and gay
- <correct his grammar>
- bro, <insert counter-claim>
Remember, trolling someone does not mean correcting them. You are free to make false claims and misrepresent data, as your only goal is to evoke emotional response, not be correct.
Chapter 1.2 - Advanced Trolling
What makes a good troll? A good troll can actually not be identified as a troll by a normal person. A good troll is usually quite intelligent, and knows how to hit those emotional sweet spots of their opponents without appearing out of the ordinary. Some trolls even go as far as to create their own personality, and maintain multiple internet profiles, each having a different purpose.
Some examples of outstanding trolls on TGC:
- Pincho Paxton
- Fluffy Rabbit
As mentioned, the human emotion is delicately woven into the cortex of our very mind. Everything humans do is connected with an emotion, and being able to manipulating them is potent to a troll's success.
Step 1 - Observe. Follow discussions you're not part of, and try to classify the personalities of some of the people. Are they easily phased or not? Are they consistent with the points they make, or are they constantly jumping around and changing their opinion every time the say something? Is their grammar good or not? How do they react to each other?
Finding someone isn't always easy. Sometimes it may even involve some of your own prodding and testing.
Let's analyze the example of Pincho Paxton. He observed that the majority of this forum contains people who have a somewhat reasonable knowledge of physics. He observed that a reasonable amount of people on this forum can have a short temper. He observed that the majority react emotionally towards false information, be it as simple as a grammar mistake. Additionally, he observed the majority argue with meta-information, and are incapable of supporting their claims with valid sources, creating utterly useless discussions spinning around everyone's own, incorrect opinion.
IMPORTANT: Figure out what your boundaries are. A good troll will not get banned for his actions, but may get others banned for it. In the case of TGC, the AUP is a good place to start.
Step 2 - Plan. The gathered information from your observations should be sufficient enough to find something to say. Remember, the only goal is to get an emotional response - we're not trying to be correct about anything.
The most effective method of trolling is to convey information which sounds believable, but is utter crap, or to convey information that is highly skeptical. The ideal reaction is half of the people will support you, and the other half will reject you.
Again, using Pincho Paxton as an example, observe how he expertly counters every opinion with a message which makes you more inflammatory:
http://forum.thegamecreators.com/?m=forum_view&t=206658&b=2
Step 3 - Find An Entry Point. This can be anything ranging from creating a fake account, personality, and new thread to simply responding to an existing comment. Post away and enjoy the reactions you get. You may want to fetch yourself a bowl of popcorn.
Chapter 2 - Actually Being Better
This is a far easier way to have fun on the internet. The idea is to find someone who knows less about a topic than you do, wait for him to say something incorrect, and then slam down your huge ego into his face with a correction so overblown, and insulting him at every opportunity you have while typing down your correction.
Example. Go to youtube and search for any video claiming "free energy" or "over unity" is real. The comments section will be full of idiots making statements which will turn your sides into pudding. You may now begin correcting people because you are better than them.
There are many other ways to experience stupidity on the internet.
