I'll tell. I met my girlfriend about 22 months ago, we were at the same school but we met through MSN. After an 8 month 'hunt' she finally fell for my undeniable charmes and we ended up happy together.
My father is Egyptian, muslim, my mother atheist Dutch. I myself have been raised with Islamic values although my tendency is more towards agnostisism than Islam. I do fast, pray on friday, respect their beliefs ect.
Her parents were divorced, her mother taking care of her little brother, she living with her dad. Her dad was a cool guy, really, very friendly, very caring, very open. He loved her and respected me, it seemed. I never visited her mother in those first few months.
In the Netherlands, the Islam is very controversial. We have politicians who are actively searching to change to constitution to allow for banning of the Quran. Most people see the random group of gangkids as representative for muslims and foreign groups, from muslim countries have a high social care/criminal percentage. People tend to forget that not every somewhat more darkskinned person is a muslim, that no two muslims are the same and that they are generalising.
Everything went well. But at one point, her dad got a new girlfriend. This new girlfriend says she was raped by a Maroc guy, and beat up by another muslim guy. Needless to say, she has a heartfelt hate towards the muslims in the Netherlands. She'd say things as 'barbarians', 'idiots', 'hypocrites'.
My girlfriends father started changing. Without us knowing it, he started feeling irritated about everything about me. My shoes stood in the wrong place, I left too late and came too early, I was unpolite (mind you, I've never heard someone calling me unpolite simply because politeness is a virtue which I hang onto in all cases) and I cost them money for eating there. A bad grade would be my fault, even if it wasn't. We didn't know this, until one day.
In the meanwhile, her father started to make plans to move away from our town. He indicated he had plans to move there and to take Suzanne with him, something he fully expected her to comply to. Her mother and little brother have some 'personal' problems, something she tries to avoid getting into or close to for her own good. He would take her with him, and build up a new life there.
His behaviour to me had barely changed. I had a good conversation with him about how lovely the new house looked. That was the last good conversation I had with him. My girlfriend, however, turned out to be against moving. She insisted to stay here, or even move to her mother.
Suddenly everything changed. My girlfriend called that I was no longer welcome in the house for the above complaints. She decided to move to her mothers place and I helped her moving stuff. She's not very secure nor happy at this new place, but it'll do until we find something better for us. Maybe in a year or two.
Her father has by now, 4 months later, admitted that my religious background was the main reason. He was afraid I'd become more fanatic in practice, or become dominant and influence her or force her to change. We know his new girlfriend was a main reason for the switch of attitude, although he denies it and claims he felt like that from the start. The whole mothers-side of the family loves me and accepted me as part of the family. I took her to Egypt for a few weeks vacation, all family cards to her family are adressed to me as well and I enjoy talking with them a lot. Her mother invites me for visits if I don't drop by for a week.
I guess I'll just never get to know her fathers side of the family. Just because they can't bother to see there's a good person behind the slightly darker skin, the tongue that speaks more languages and the culture they're prejudiced about. Shame.
A mod has been erased by your signature because it was larger than 600x120
