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FPSC Classic Work In Progress / Deep (working title)

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Arkvoodle
17
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Joined: 22nd Sep 2007
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Posted: 29th Sep 2007 05:12 Edited at: 29th Sep 2007 17:14
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Your name is Dan. You work as a construction worker whos been delivering items recently to a lab known as D.E.E.P. HQ. As you are delivering an object, you sneek a peek inside the box, only to find, its a dead body. You march up to the workers, and demand to know whats going on. Suddenly, you are knocked out, and awake several hours later unaware of where you are, who knocked you out, and why. The workers have formed a whacked out cult which demands human sacarifice. You are the next.

This will be either a horror, puzzle, or a mix of both genres.
Please tell me what I need to improve on.

Arkvoodle oodle oodle oodle oooooooo

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Disturbing 13
19
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Joined: 12th Apr 2005
Location: Murder Capital of the World
Posted: 29th Sep 2007 12:21
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The screenshot looks nice but you need to improve on making it a .jpg or .png. some here still have dialup


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Arkvoodle
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Joined: 22nd Sep 2007
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Posted: 29th Sep 2007 14:17
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Thank you Disturbing. I really do appreciate it I'll make the rest of my screenshots a jpeg.


(Im sorry if this is taking so long, its just that it takes a while for my posts to show up because of the thing since Im new)

Arkvoodle oodle oodle oodle oooooooo

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Arkvoodle
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Posted: 29th Sep 2007 14:25
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And here is another.

Arkvoodle oodle oodle oodle oooooooo

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Butter fingers
18
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Joined: 20th Mar 2006
Location: Mecca
Posted: 29th Sep 2007 15:33
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Good points:

Nice use of custom entities. placement is good, and the scene has a common thread.

especially like the blood splats

Bad point:
the HUD isn't aligned quite right. The lighting is a bit iffy. perhaps try icey blue or a surgical green. It'll look more lab like.

Story:

It's ok. I personally think that stories that involve the player "getting knocked/blacked out" are a bit cheap. It seems like a simple mechanism for dumping the player into a situation with no explanation. Try fleshing it out a little.

Overal though pretty good. Not what we often expect to see coming from new members, so well done.

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Deathead
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Posted: 29th Sep 2007 15:41
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How did you get those dead characters?

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Arkvoodle
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Posted: 29th Sep 2007 15:41
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I can't agree with you more butters about the storyline. Its just that, what more is there to do to make someone appear somewhere, but unknowing of their surroundings? I thank you for you critisism though.

Arkvoodle oodle oodle oodle oooooooo
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xplosys
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Joined: 5th Jan 2006
Playing: FPSC Multiplayer Games
Posted: 29th Sep 2007 17:04
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I pretty much agree with Butters, but I think the lighting is interesting. I'm not sure what the scene is or what you were trying to convey, but if I were there, I would have to explore it further. The first shot is best, with the high ceiling and beams offering much more for the eye. The floor texture is good but perhaps a bit large.

Best.

I'm sorry, my answers are limited. You must ask the right question.

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Robert F
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Posted: 29th Sep 2007 17:30
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how does disturbing 13 have the first post now?

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Disturbing 13
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Joined: 12th Apr 2005
Location: Murder Capital of the World
Posted: 30th Sep 2007 00:57
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?? What do you mean? I see Arkvoodle's post first then mine. Forum acting up your comp? It does on mine too sometime.


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