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Geek Culture / [LOCKED] Peanuts, The Shrink is in.

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mamaji4
21
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Posted: 2nd Nov 2007 22:53
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Mr Schulz of Peanuts fame has fired Lucy from the job ever since Charlie Brown, her main customer stopped visiting.

I am the resident shrink now and can handle anything from
"I just can't tie my shoe-laces right" to Schizophrenia.
It's 1 cent per reply as opposed to Lucy's 10 cents. And since the rate is severly discounted, don't expect top grade advice.
Of course if someone else answers before me, he gets the 1 cent.
If more than one person solve Mr. X's problem, the 1 cent will be split among all the shrinks who helped out Mr. X.
At the end of the month we will tally the total amount each forum member has to collect from every other forum member.
I will need an accountant to handle this, since I will have other things on my mind, like what other people have on their mind.

Any Questions?

And don't go tricking me on this. Any psychological questions will be charged strictly according to the fee schedule.
Of course if I develop any psychological problems, which I will, after listening to everyone else's problems, then the fee will be 2 cents for that particular question, which has resulted in my problem.

Please post your problems, knowing that a bunch of very smart/zany guys will be willing to help you feel worse than when you came in with it.
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CattleRustler
Retired Moderator
21
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Location: case modding at overclock.net
Posted: 2nd Nov 2007 22:55
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that chick from Black-Eyed Peas that struck out on her own (cant think of her name) was the voice of Lucy.

</useless fact>

My DBP plugins page is now hosted [href]here[/href]
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Deathead
18
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Posted: 2nd Nov 2007 22:57
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Hmm.. Cattle Rustler are you talking about Fergie? The chick from Black Eyed Peas?

[center]
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mamaji4
21
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Posted: 2nd Nov 2007 22:57 Edited at: 2nd Nov 2007 22:59
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@Cattle Rustler
Take 2 aspirin and call me in the morning.
That'll be 1 cent.

Ok. Deathhead also answered, so we'll be splitting that 1 cent.
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mamaji4
21
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Posted: 2nd Nov 2007 23:11
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Business sure is slow in Peanut world. No wonder Lucy left. What with Charlie Brown her only customer.
Doesn't anyone have a problem. Well, make one up then !!
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KYP
19
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Location: 01110000
Posted: 2nd Nov 2007 23:23
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Every day when I wake up, my fingernails are slightly longer. Every so often, I clip them. Why does this happen?

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tha_rami
18
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Joined: 25th Mar 2006
Location: Netherlands
Posted: 2nd Nov 2007 23:35
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I've been diagnosed with shizofrenia, but we do not agree.

Quote: "Welcome to the psychical helpdesk.

If you are too dependant, get someone to press 1.

If you have shizofrenia, simultaneously press 3, 4, 5 and 9.

If you're paranoid, please remain on the line. We know exactly who you are, what you want and where you are.

If you've got a little voice in your head, wait until it tells you what number to choose.

If you're depressive, or suffer from lack of confidence, hang up. Nobody will pick up the phone for you.

If you've got dyslexia, spell 'dyslexiatraumateam' on your phone within 10 seconds.

If you suffer from loss of memory, press 8 and give us your name, last name, address, phonenumber, date of birth, registration number and your mothers' maiden name.

If you suffer from a post-traumatic stress syndrome, very carefully and slowly press 0.

If you suffer from indecisiveness, press a 9 after the beep. Or before it. Or after it. Wait for the beep. Or not.

If you have problems with your short-term memory, press 9.
If you have problems with your short-term memory, press 9.
If you have problems with your short-term memory, press 9.
If you have problems with your short-term memory, press 9.

If you have a severe lack of self-esteem, hang up. All our employees are too busy to care about the likes of you."



A mod has been erased by your signature because it was larger than 600x120
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mamaji4
21
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Posted: 2nd Nov 2007 23:54 Edited at: 2nd Nov 2007 23:56
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Aha. Finally a customer with a real problem.

Quote: "Every day when I wake up, my fingernails are slightly longer. Every so often, I clip them. Why does this happen?
"


@KYP
For the same reason that every time you wake up thousands of your body parts grow and fall off. Every once in a while you do have to go to the barber, don't you. I know its painful getting so many body parts cut off in one fell swoop, but that's life. So now don't you feel good that you have to just clip off 10 fingernails?

Since you are my first real patient, I shall waive the 1 cent fee and hope you pass the word along to others in need of help.

@tha_rami

Your problem is too complex for me. I'm still in first year in shrink school. So I'll have to pass on that one. Maybe someone else can help you.

NEXT PATIENT!!

*Nurse pushes off a bunch of people trying to get into the clinic, as the good doctor's popularity grows*
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Insert Name Here
17
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Joined: 20th Mar 2007
Location: Worcester, England
Posted: 3rd Nov 2007 00:00
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Well, I have --- problem, you see --- whenever I try to --- a message --- I can't help but --- --- thre dashes every --- and again! Please --- me!

Nya!
Well, yes but - wait, what?
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mamaji4
21
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Posted: 3rd Nov 2007 00:05
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@INH
Dash it. Not in my lunch break. OK. Start off by trying to put only 2 dashes at first. I know its difficult but have courage. Get back to me when you're down to 2 dashes.

That'll be 1 cent.
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CattleRustler
Retired Moderator
21
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Location: case modding at overclock.net
Posted: 3rd Nov 2007 00:07
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Quote: "Hmm.. Cattle Rustler are you talking about Fergie? The chick from Black Eyed Peas?"

yeah, that chick

My DBP plugins page is now hosted [href]here[/href]
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mamaji4
21
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Posted: 3rd Nov 2007 00:07
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The Doctor is out for lunch. Please leave your problems, with my able partner in shrinkology, tha_rami, who was miraculously cured the other moment.
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KYP
19
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Posted: 3rd Nov 2007 01:58
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Quote: "For the same reason that every time you wake up thousands of your body parts grow and fall off. Every once in a while you do have to go to the barber, don't you. I know its painful getting so many body parts cut off in one fell swoop, but that's life."


Aww... I feel depressed now.

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Libervurto
18
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Joined: 30th Jun 2006
Location: On Toast
Posted: 3rd Nov 2007 03:33 Edited at: 3rd Nov 2007 03:34
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I have no hat

"You must be someone's friend to make comments about them." - MySpace lied.
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Benjamin
21
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Joined: 24th Nov 2002
Location: France
Posted: 3rd Nov 2007 03:40
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You sense are not making any guys.

Tempest (DBP/DBCe)
Multisync V1 (DBP/DBCe)
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ionstream
20
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Joined: 4th Jul 2004
Location: Overweb
Posted: 3rd Nov 2007 04:43
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I have a strange urge to take a chainsaw to most of the people in this thread. Does that mean I'm gay?

That's not as bad as you think you said.
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bitJericho
22
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Joined: 9th Oct 2002
Location: United States
Posted: 3rd Nov 2007 04:51
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Quote: "You sense are not making any guys."


Nonsense is the new funny, apparently.


The greatest multiplayer text adventure ever...
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Inspire
17
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Location: Rochester, NY
Posted: 3rd Nov 2007 05:16
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I have a question.

What's the difference between a duck?



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Insert Name Here
17
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Location: Worcester, England
Posted: 3rd Nov 2007 10:10
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-- thanks for your -- mr -- I can type in -- two dashes now, it's -- hard though. -- now what, -- is the question --

Nya!
Well, yes but - wait, what?
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mamaji4
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Posted: 3rd Nov 2007 14:35
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@KYP
Quote: "Aww... I feel depressed now."

That's the whole idea. The shrink always makes you feel worse than when you came in. Now that you're my customer for life there will be no fee this time.

@OBese87
Quote: "I have no hat"

Grow your hair. I tell you time and time again, what its there for. You won't need a hat. And have you told your mama to hide the razor, and not tell you where she hid it, like the last time?

@Benjamin
Quote: "You sense are not making any guys."

What Jerico2day said. Does that make sense? Nonsense is in. Sense is out. I have to stay in business after all.

@Inspire
Quote: "I have a question.

What's the difference between a duck?"

The difference between any other duck.

@ionstream
Quote: "I have a strange urge to take a chainsaw to most of the people in this thread. Does that mean I'm gay?
"

You have to stop playing those FPSs, then only will you find true happiness. And no, happy doesn't mean gay.

@INH
Quote: "-- thanks for your -- mr -- I can type in -- two dashes now, it's -- hard though. -- now what, -- is the question --
"

*The good doctor thinks to himself "Dash it. INH is recovering faster than I wanted him to. Quickly calls the nurse and tells her to reduce his dosage of Valium. Then returns to patient with a smile...*
INH, you'll have to go slow. Don't rush it with the reducing the dashes stuff. Dashes are good for health. Most people don't know what you are talking about, and that can't be bad.

NOW WHERE'S THAT ACCOUNTANT!! I think I'm going nuts keeping track of all the 1 cents everyone owes me.
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David R
21
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Location: 3.14
Posted: 3rd Nov 2007 15:17
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Quote: "I've been diagnosed with shizofrenia, but we do not agree."


Schizophrenia != multiple personality disorder.


09-f9-11-02-9d-74-e3-5b-d8-41-56-c5-63-56-88-c0
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Deathead
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Posted: 3rd Nov 2007 15:35
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Quote: "And no, happy doesn't mean gay."

It does. Some idiot made the word gay associated with Homosexuality. Before 70's it was used as like..
"Isn't it a gay day today." Not in context of "Isn't it a homosexual day." It means really if you go by what it used to be it is "Isn't it a happy day today."

[center]
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tha_rami
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Posted: 3rd Nov 2007 16:08
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Quote: "You have to stop playing those FPSs, then only will you find true happiness. And no, happy doesn't mean gay."


I think it is a word of French origin, gay still means happy in French.


A mod has been erased by your signature because it was larger than 600x120
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Insert Name Here
17
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Location: Worcester, England
Posted: 3rd Nov 2007 16:39
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Wow! I recovered really fast! Now you owe me 12 cent for curing me!

Nya!
Well, yes but - wait, what?
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Libervurto
18
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Location: On Toast
Posted: 3rd Nov 2007 18:58
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Quote: "Grow your hair. I tell you time and time again, what its there for. You won't need a hat. And have you told your mama to hide the razor, and not tell you where she hid it, like the last time?"

What are you talking about?
I have no hat.

"You must be someone's friend to make comments about them." - MySpace lied.
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Inspire
17
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Joined: 23rd Dec 2006
Location: Rochester, NY
Posted: 3rd Nov 2007 19:01
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Quote: "The difference between any other duck. "


Wrong!

The higher it flies, the much.

You owe me one cent.

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Matt Rock
19
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Location: Binghamton NY USA
Posted: 3rd Nov 2007 20:40
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I have a ton of problems, but I can't talk about any of them, they violate the AUP in various ways .


MISoft Studios
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mamaji4
21
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Posted: 3rd Nov 2007 20:53 Edited at: 3rd Nov 2007 21:02
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Geeze, what do I see. A lot of cynics in my clinic. The patients are revolting. The good doctor knows when its time to close shop.


I shall now hand over the clinic to my able partner tha_rami.
Boy, I'm going to miss the nurse. She sure was a cute number. Well, back to my old boring profession as coder.
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Libervurto
18
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Posted: 4th Nov 2007 06:33
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Hey! I still have no hat!
I want back my money
What am I supposed to do now?
This head aint gonna hat itself you know

"You must be someone's friend to make comments about them." - MySpace lied.
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Insert Name Here
17
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Location: Worcester, England
Posted: 4th Nov 2007 13:52 Edited at: 4th Nov 2007 19:07
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I need my 10 cents for me letting you cure me!
And thats on 300% interest every hour, so thats... a lot of cents you owe me now.
And I'll have them in englsh pounds please.
And that'll be interest n that as well.

Nya!
Well, yes but - wait, what?
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Diggsey
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Posted: 4th Nov 2007 15:28
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@INH
Haha, you weren't cured so nobody owes you anything If you will notice you placed -- at the end of your message. 2 cents to me for solving what nobody else could And on 90000% interest... Plus tax... With the minor charges for my time... Oh! What a surprise, it comes out rather large! You owe me £90000.01

FREE 2D PHYSICS PLUGIN!!!
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Insert Name Here
17
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Location: Worcester, England
Posted: 4th Nov 2007 19:08
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Actually there are no dashes. So you owe me £90000.01 for being wrong AND compensation for giving me information potentially harmful to my health AND the money for allowing you to cure me. As does bothe the rabi and mamaji4.

Nya!
Well, yes but - wait, what?
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Keo C
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Posted: 5th Nov 2007 04:11
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Ok, I ate all my food. What do I do?


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Jeku
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Posted: 5th Nov 2007 09:44
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Ridiculous.

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