Mushroomhead is the next world's best comedian! We want more!!

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Yian

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Location: Nicosia, Cyprus(the Greek half)

Posted: 18th Jun 2003 01:37

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At the post on worst jobs mushroomhead recalled a HILARIOUS episode:

"Helpdesk support ... jeez the amount of stupid calls I've had in 6 years and health problems that came with that crap hole of a job.

Rav : Software development, how can I help?
DumbAss : It's not working!
Rav : Eh? What is not working? Your PC? Application?
DumbAss : The screen, its stuck!!!!
Rav : Can you explain what you mean by "The screen is stuck"?
DumbAss : It was working, then it stopped working!!
Rav : Okay so you can't see anything on your screen i.e. you have a black screen ?!?
DumbAss : No, I can see the stuff but its STUCK!
Rav :
Rav : Okay, so what were you doing before it got "stuck"?
DumbAss : I was in memo and it got stuck
Rav : Move your mouse and let me know if your mouse pointer moves?
DumbAss : Yes it does.
Rav : Ok, move your mouse inside the Memo application window and left click it
DumbAss : Its working!!!! What was wrong with it?
Rav : Basically you must have clicked outside the Memo window hence it lost the focus, this is why it appeared "stuck". Be careful if you have several windows open at once because only 1 window can have the focus.
DumbAss : This new system is horrible, I get nothing but problems!
Rav : (thinks perhaps I can recommend the "Idiots Guide to using Windows 2000 " or something)

Its a pity at my old workplace the programmers had to develop software AND manage helpdesk as well ... no wonder why we all revolted and forced the CEO to get a dedicated helpdesk support team.

- Rav."

I personally find the post very funny!I have saved it in word to show it to my grandchildren...Mushroomhead, or 'Rav' seems to have an enormous talent in joke-telling! So could I please beg Mushroom head: GIVE US MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Ian T

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Posted: 18th Jun 2003 01:43

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Lol. Go to Rinkworks for about 5,000 of those (no joke).

--Mouse

Famous Fighting Furball

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Yian

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Posted: 18th Jun 2003 01:58

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MUSHROOMHEAD PLEASE GIVE US ANOTHER ONE!!!!!!!

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Ian T

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Posted: 18th Jun 2003 02:02

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www.rinkworks.com

There are litteraly THOUSANDS there. Just as funny and much more. Computer Stupidites section. It's excellent.

--Mouse

Famous Fighting Furball

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Yian

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Posted: 18th Jun 2003 02:25

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no man they are not funny enough. I am sure mushroomhead has many more even better to tell! x-d

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Solidz Snake

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Posted: 18th Jun 2003 02:31

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i have a feeling this is not really about the funny post, more like sarcastic post towards the fella.

mainly because it struck me wonders on how in the world did u read all THOUSANDS of the jokes of the web address that Mouse posted, and concluded within 23 minutes that ALL are not funny enough..

just wondering..

Snake? What happened? Snake? Snaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake!!! - Colonel Roy Campbell

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Solidz Snake

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Posted: 18th Jun 2003 03:10

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Quote: "I have saved it in word to show it to my grandchildren...Mushroomhead, or 'Rav' seems to have an enormous talent in joke-telling! So could I please beg Mushroom head: GIVE US MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

bizarre..

Snake? What happened? Snake? Snaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake!!! - Colonel Roy Campbell

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andrew11

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Location: United States

Posted: 18th Jun 2003 03:19

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Lol. This ones my favorite from rinkworks:

Customer: "When my computer boots up, all I get is a black screen that says, 'boot2/'."
Tech Support: "What operating system are you using?"
Customer: "I'm using Windows 98 and NT 4.0."
Tech Support: "Ok, I'm the Mac tech. The Windows tech is gone, but I can try to help you."
Customer: "Ok, what should I do? I've reformatted the hard drive and have fresh installs of both operating systems."
Tech Support: "Sir, have you put any cheese or mustard in your a drive?"
Customer: "What? Did you just ask me if I put cheese or mustard in my floppy drive?"
Tech Support: "Yeah, we've had that happen a lot lately."
Customer: (staring blankly at roommate, who was laughing uncontrollably on the floor) "I think I'll wait for the PC tech to get back. Thanks for the help." (click)

"All programmers are playwrites and all computers are lousy actors" -Anon
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Ian T

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Posted: 18th Jun 2003 03:53

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ROFL! I never found that one

haven't looked for a while

I luuuuuurve that site

--Mouse

Famous Fighting Furball

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andrew11

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Posted: 18th Jun 2003 04:09 Edited at: 18th Jun 2003 04:11

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I read just about every one.

Ok.. It's official; I have no life.

Anyway, heres another one. I save all the funniest ones in a text file.

The lady was using a power strip to plug her computer and other devices into. Windows was completely frozen, and she was unable to shut down the machine by using the power button. She mentioned the power strip, so I told her to flip it off. She said, "Ok, I gave it the finger. I feel better."

"All programmers are playwrites and all computers are lousy actors" -Anon
Click Here!!!

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Ian T

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Posted: 18th Jun 2003 05:03

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R-O-F-L

--Mouse

Famous Fighting Furball

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andrew11

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Posted: 18th Jun 2003 05:22 Edited at: 18th Jun 2003 05:23

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Here's a couple more I think you'll like

+ Code Snippet

I work for Iomega tech support.
One day, when I was answering the AOL message board questions, I ran across a letter complaining
that this person's zip drive had ejected a zip disk clear across the room and hit her dog in the eye.
The dog supposedly lost vision in that eye and wanted Iomega to pay for the vet bill.
I wrote back asking for a picture of the injury.
I got back a picture of a dog wearing a pirate patch.

Customer: "I got this problem. You people sent me this install disk, and now my A: drive won't work." 
Tech Support: "Your A drive won't work?" 
Customer: "That's what I said. You sent me a bad disk, it got stuck in my drive, now it won't work at all." 
Tech Support: "Did it not install properly? What kind of error messages did you get?" 
Customer: "I didn't get any error message. The disk got stuck in the drive and wouldn't come out. So I got these pliers and tried to get it out. That didn't work either." 
Tech Support: "You did what sir?" 
Customer: "I got these pliers, and tried to get the disk out, but it wouldn't budge. I just ended up cracking the plastic stuff a bit." 
Tech Support: "I don't understand sir, did you push the eject button?" 
Customer: "No, so then I got a stick of butter and melted it and used a turkey baster and put the butter in the drive, around the disk, and that got it loose. Then I used the pliers and it came out fine. I can't believe you would send me a disk that was broke and defective." 
Tech Support: "Let me get this clear. You put melted butter in your A: drive and used pliers to pull the disk out?" 
At this point, I put the call on the speaker phone and motioned at the other techs to listen in.
Tech Support: "Just so I am absolutely clear on this, can you repeat what you just said?" 
Customer: "I said I put butter in my A: drive to get your crappy disk out, then I had to use pliers to pull it out." 
Tech Support: "Did you push that little button that was sticking out when the disk was in the drive, you know, the thing called the disk eject button?" 
Silence.
Tech Support: "Sir?" 
Customer: "Yes." 
Tech Support: "Sir, did you push the eject button?" 
Customer: "No, but you people are going to fix my computer, or I am going to sue you for breaking my computer?" 
Tech Support: "Let me get this straight. You are going to sue our company because you put the disk in the A: drive, didn't follow the instructions we sent you, didn't actually seek professional advice, didn't consult your user's manual on how to use your computer properly, instead proceeding to pour butter into the drive and physically rip the disk out?" 
Customer: "Ummmm." 
Tech Support: "Do you really think you stand a chance, since we do record every call and have it on tape?" 
Customer: (now rather humbled) "But you're supposed to help!" 
Tech Support: "I am sorry sir, but there is nothing we can do for you. Have a nice day."

+ Code Snippet

Customer: "I got this problem. You people sent me this install disk, and now my A: drive won't work."
Tech Support: "Your A drive won't work?"
Customer: "That's what I said. You sent me a bad disk, it got stuck in my drive, now it won't work at all."
Tech Support: "Did it not install properly? What kind of error messages did you get?"
Customer: "I didn't get any error message. The disk got stuck in the drive and wouldn't come out. So I got these pliers and tried to get it out. That didn't work either."
Tech Support: "You did what sir?"
Customer: "I got these pliers, and tried to get the disk out, but it wouldn't budge. I just ended up cracking the plastic stuff a bit."
Tech Support: "I don't understand sir, did you push the eject button?"
Customer: "No, so then I got a stick of butter and melted it and used a turkey baster and put the butter in the drive, around the disk, and that got it loose. Then I used the pliers and it came out fine. I can't believe you would send me a disk that was broke and defective."
Tech Support: "Let me get this clear. You put melted butter in your A: drive and used pliers to pull the disk out?"
At this point, I put the call on the speaker phone and motioned at the other techs to listen in.
Tech Support: "Just so I am absolutely clear on this, can you repeat what you just said?"
Customer: "I said I put butter in my A: drive to get your crappy disk out, then I had to use pliers to pull it out."
Tech Support: "Did you push that little button that was sticking out when the disk was in the drive, you know, the thing called the disk eject button?"
Silence.
Tech Support: "Sir?"
Customer: "Yes."
Tech Support: "Sir, did you push the eject button?"
Customer: "No, but you people are going to fix my computer, or I am going to sue you for breaking my computer?"
Tech Support: "Let me get this straight. You are going to sue our company because you put the disk in the A: drive, didn't follow the instructions we sent you, didn't actually seek professional advice, didn't consult your user's manual on how to use your computer properly, instead proceeding to pour butter into the drive and physically rip the disk out?"
Customer: "Ummmm."
Tech Support: "Do you really think you stand a chance, since we do record every call and have it on tape?"
Customer: (now rather humbled) "But you're supposed to help!"
Tech Support: "I am sorry sir, but there is nothing we can do for you. Have a nice day."

"All programmers are playwrites and all computers are lousy actors" -Anon
Click Here!!!

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Ian T

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Posted: 18th Jun 2003 05:28

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Oh god

*Chokes in laughter*

--Mouse

Famous Fighting Furball

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andrew11

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Posted: 18th Jun 2003 05:46 Edited at: 18th Jun 2003 05:47

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Accidental post.

Please delete.

"All programmers are playwrites and all computers are lousy actors" -Anon
Click Here!!!

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andrew11

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Posted: 18th Jun 2003 05:47 Edited at: 18th Jun 2003 05:49

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Lol

Go to http://www.thedumb.com/.
It's so funny.

Make sure to check out "Real fears"!

"All programmers are playwrites and all computers are lousy actors" -Anon
Click Here!!!

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Ian T

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Posted: 18th Jun 2003 06:28

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That's a great site!

This one made me laugh though. I was supposed to be:

three armed corrupt police officers

But it was

three-armed corrupt police officers

LOL, they get REAL corrupt these days huh

--Mouse

Famous Fighting Furball

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Geek Culture / Mushroomhead is the next world's best comedian! We want more!!