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Geek Culture / Short Story - It has no title (1st Draft)

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Seppuku Arts
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Joined: 18th Aug 2004
Location: Cambridgeshire, England
Posted: 7th Jan 2008 17:46 Edited at: 25th Mar 2008 17:53
Hey dudes, I've been writing a short story for a competition - I've got an early draft done, covering the main idea - of course as it's a first draft I thought I'd see what feedback I'd get before redrafting.

The competition theme is 'Superstition' and it's due in next month. Of course I couldn't think of anything I liked to start with, I thought it'd start a silly story type, but then pretty much immediately I started twisting ideas around the idea of 'luck and superstition' and came out with what I've got.

Anyway, enjoy! (Though please avoid mentioning grammatical/spelling errors etc. I've given this to you raw as a first draft, these are things I correct during the second draft during a proof reading session, plus I know my grammar. )

------------------

Removed.

Exit Pursued by man-bear-pig
Agent Dink
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Joined: 30th Mar 2004
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Posted: 7th Jan 2008 19:28
Wow. Nice writing

Poor guy though... You gotta wonder if things like this happen to people on the brink of suicide Anguising so much and all. Sad.

Seppuku Arts
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Location: Cambridgeshire, England
Posted: 7th Jan 2008 19:51
Thanks, but yes poor guy - I kind of like these sort of characters, suffering characters I find are the most interesting to write about. As for people on the brink of suicide, I wouldn't personally know - but a certain level of thought would go behind the decision and I'd think if you were breaking down, your brain in defense would try to repress and repressions surfaces as abnormality such as a neurosis. (hence his delusions)

Click to go to seppuku-arts.co.nr
WarGoat
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Joined: 19th Sep 2004
Location: Montreal
Posted: 7th Jan 2008 19:54
I like how you write story, Seppuku. I also like the story about the guy who was going to have dinner with his girlfriend or something like that, that you showed one time. You have a good writting style.

Windows XP,pentium IV, 3.0 MGZ, 1024 mb memory, 256 mb ATI Radeon PCIE X700 Pro 'sett squadron back on the assault'
Seppuku Arts
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Location: Cambridgeshire, England
Posted: 7th Jan 2008 19:59
Thank you sett, and long time no see mate.

Click to go to seppuku-arts.co.nr
WarGoat
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Location: Montreal
Posted: 7th Jan 2008 20:01
Yeah I know... I sent you an e-mail btw, on your gmail adress. there something I want to tell you about, too.

Windows XP,pentium IV, 3.0 MGZ, 1024 mb memory, 256 mb ATI Radeon PCIE X700 Pro 'sett squadron back on the assault'
Seppuku Arts
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Joined: 18th Aug 2004
Location: Cambridgeshire, England
Posted: 7th Jan 2008 21:06
Okay mate, though I've checked my email account and your email wasn't there (I'll check my spam folder in a minute) but just to make sure, you did send to?:

seppuku05[at]gmail[dot]com

Click to go to seppuku-arts.co.nr
WarGoat
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Location: Montreal
Posted: 7th Jan 2008 21:07
well yeah... I'll re-send one, or connect to MSN, that'll be maybe more simple.

Windows XP,pentium IV, 3.0 MGZ, 1024 mb memory, 256 mb ATI Radeon PCIE X700 Pro 'sett squadron back on the assault'
Pus In Boots
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Joined: 5th Nov 2005
Location: S.M.I.L.E. industries
Posted: 10th Jan 2008 23:41
Great writing, Seppuku. What's the website for this competition? I'll have to get involved. (It is online, right?)

my blog!
Latest post: You are ranked 70,454th in the leaderboard. Try again?
Seppuku Arts
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Joined: 18th Aug 2004
Location: Cambridgeshire, England
Posted: 11th Jan 2008 00:24
It's not online, it's for an English magazine (Writer's monthly or something)

And thanks dude.

Click to go to seppuku-arts.co.nr

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