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Geek Culture / How to Win Friends and Influence People

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Megaton Cat
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2008 06:50 Edited at: 22nd Feb 2008 06:51
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I'm sure a few of you have read this old skool title. My Dad convinced me to read it myself just over a year ago, and I thought it was pretty interesting.

Been reading a bit about it lately and a few folks are claiming it's still a book about manipulating people.

Do you guys think Dale Carnegie's ideas still work in the modern business/social world, especially when it comes time to getting noticed?

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Jeku
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2008 06:54
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It's not about manipulation at all. Some of the tips are really handy for our social lives. I read that book back in high school and it honestly helped me to deal with interviews, bosses, girlfriends even. It still helps out in the business world. I use some of the tips every day, actually.

Things such as looking at people's eyes when you talk to them, saying their name instead of "hey you", etc. In fact I think I'll read it again for a refresher.


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SpyDaniel
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2008 06:59
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Quote: "Things such as looking at people's eyes when you talk to them, saying their name instead of "hey you", etc. In fact I think I'll read it again for a refresher."


You don't need a book to tell you that, only dead heads, trouble makers, scallies don't follow those guide lines, lol. Any polite person would use a persons name and use eye contact.

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Jeku
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2008 07:00
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Well that's just two of the tips. Obviously there's more in the book than common sense. Some of the tips were new to me at the time.

There's a reason why it's one of the top 10 best-selling books ever written.


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Megaton Cat
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2008 07:08 Edited at: 22nd Feb 2008 07:11
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I agree with you Jake, it has helped me in areas as well.

But other things it has done is helped me come closer to understanding what really motivates people. In the book it is mentioned that a person's own name is the sweetest sounding word in a language. The experiences that I've gone through really do show me that people are all about "me" and "what can you do for me?".

Quote: "You don't need a book to tell you that, only dead heads, trouble makers, scallies don't follow those guide lines, lol. Any polite person would use a persons name and use eye contact."


I strongly don't agree with you there. In my earlier days of high school, I had a habit of looking elsewhere while talking to people, and often couldn't be bothered to remember people's names.

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Libervurto
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2008 07:58
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I stumbled upon this book, it was just a wiki of it online so no reading unfortunately.
It is about manipulating people, we manipulate each other everyday and think nothing of it but as soon as someone says the word they are disgusted.

I saw a list of some of the stuff it tells you like "make someone think it was their idea" does the book tell you how to do that? cos I can't figure out how you'd do that.

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power mousey
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2008 08:19
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I think even Machiavelli would like and used this book.

But, I don't know about the guided imagery, visualizations, and spirit guides Dale Carnegie talked about and got involved in.

"_"
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Zappo
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2008 15:11
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Quote: "I saw a list of some of the stuff it tells you like "make someone think it was their idea" "
Mmmm... making people think something was their idea...
That's a good idea, OBese87. Thanks.




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Kentaree
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2008 15:16
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Quote: "But other things it has done is helped me come closer to understanding what really motivates people. In the book it is mentioned that a person's own name is the sweetest sounding word in a language. The experiences that I've gone through really do show me that people are all about "me" and "what can you do for me?"."


I don't need a book to tell me that, it's both common sense and I've got so little faith in human kind I would've come to that conclusion anyway

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El Goorf
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2008 15:55
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i been planning on getting this book for some time, but i just cant bring myself to go to the checkout with a book titled "how to win friends"

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Benjamin
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2008 16:04
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I'm getting "How to Kill Friends and Annihilate People" instead.

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BatVink
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2008 16:10
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It is only about manipulating people if your intention is to manipulate people.

Making people feel good about themselves and comfortable in your presence is rewarding in itself. If you can do things in life without the gratification of everyone knowing it was your idea, you'll be more creative. Being interested in other peoples lives is far more beneficial than telling everyone about you. Listening is one of the 5 senses, talking isn't.
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bitJericho
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2008 19:59
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Hmm, I'm going to have to check this one out.. I've never heard of it.


Hurray for teh logd!
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Mr Z
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2008 20:11 Edited at: 22nd Feb 2008 20:15
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I do not need any book to tell me how to be. I´m just myself.

Quote: "The experiences that I've gone through really do show me that people are all about "me" and "what can you do for me?"."


My experiances do not. Know too many who are not like that.

Darkness, you haunt me. If I give in, I would be an monster beyond imagining. Light, you guide me. Thanks to you, I see past the nothingness. Life, I choose to live in the light.
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bitJericho
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2008 20:59
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Quote: "I do not need any book to tell me how to be. I´m just myself."


Right, because you're totally not influenced by your friends, media or family.

Books don't tell you how to be, they help you realize what you can be

Thanks for the tip on this book, I got my order in on Amazon today


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Mr Z
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2008 23:40
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I did not say I do not get influesed by other people, being one self is to stand for what you believe in, stand for your values and not try to pretend you are something you are not (like saying you hate something you love because everyone else hates it, or playing nice but actually only manipulating people and such things). Being influensed and pretending to be someone else are two entierly different things.

And you may be right about helping people realize what they can be, but for one it depends on the book. And besides, what I meant is that I know who I am, and what I can be, and I meant I like to dicover things like this myself rather then from an book .

And I hope you enjoy the book.

Darkness, you haunt me. If I give in, I would be an monster beyond imagining. Light, you guide me. Thanks to you, I see past the nothingness. Life, I choose to live in the light.
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Seppuku Arts
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Posted: 22nd Feb 2008 23:50
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Quote: "Well that's just two of the tips. Obviously there's more in the book than common sense. Some of the tips were new to me at the time."


And of course so many people overlook the simple thing and even parts in a book work enough just to remind people the obvious.

This sounds like a book I should read, though I'm trying to 'big up' my CV as much as I can, communication skills and showing confidence should also come in handy - after all speaking confidently helps show you know what your talking about.

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Jeku
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Posted: 23rd Feb 2008 00:01
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Quote: "like saying you hate something you love because everyone else hates it, or playing nice but actually only manipulating people and such things"


Um, the book doesn't tell you to pretend to be nice. Perhaps read it before going off on it


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xplosys
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Posted: 23rd Feb 2008 00:02 Edited at: 23rd Feb 2008 00:05
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I just ordered it too. Amazon used... $7.00 including shipping. Being in the service industry and dealing with business people on a daily basis, there has to be something in there that will be helpful. Who knows, it could turn out to be a great little investment. If not, it'll keep me occupied on the john for a while.

Best.

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Mr Z
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Posted: 23rd Feb 2008 00:27
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Quote: "Um, the book doesn't tell you to pretend to be nice. Perhaps read it before going off on it"


That was not what I meant, I answered to Jerico2day . Since I have not read the book, I will not comment it except if someone tell me what it has for content.

Darkness, you haunt me. If I give in, I would be an monster beyond imagining. Light, you guide me. Thanks to you, I see past the nothingness. Life, I choose to live in the light.
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Megaton Cat
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Posted: 23rd Feb 2008 01:01 Edited at: 23rd Feb 2008 01:01
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I think all the muppets shouting "but all of this stuff is common sense! i don't need a book to tell me that!" are missing a chunk of the book's actual lesson: Keep an open mind to others.

You might read and find out something you didn't know or didn't consider before.

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Mr Z
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Posted: 23rd Feb 2008 02:01
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I do keep an open mind to others, but as I stated before, I prefer to learn stuff in my own way, which in this case is the hard way. To keep an open mind does not only mean that you are open to alternate ways to do things, but to respect others for not doing things as you would. Have nothing against that you found that book and read it, just do not think it is something for me. We are just different, that does not mean I am an muppet, nor does it mean you are.

Darkness, you haunt me. If I give in, I would be an monster beyond imagining. Light, you guide me. Thanks to you, I see past the nothingness. Life, I choose to live in the light.
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Jeku
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Posted: 23rd Feb 2008 02:23
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Quote: "I do keep an open mind to others, but as I stated before, I prefer to learn stuff in my own way, which in this case is the hard way."


Think of it like a good management or driver's course. You could trial-and-error and learn how to drive a car by yourself, but you'd be a better driver and pick things up faster if you had a tutor and a book.


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Megaton Cat
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Posted: 23rd Feb 2008 03:58
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Mr.Z, you seem to be taking this way too personal, like this book is attacking your very soul and the definition of who you are.

I was honestly interested in opinions of people who've atleast taken the time to read the book, as a minimum. Your "I don't need no book to tell me how to be" sounds like you're being oppressed by something.

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Mr Z
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Posted: 23rd Feb 2008 18:00 Edited at: 24th Feb 2008 11:06
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Sorry, I have had too much problems with some people not accepting me for who I am lately, so I may be a bit personal about this. Was not meant to offend anyone or seem like I hate a book I know nothing about. It is in my nature to tell my opinions about things, sorry if you missunderstood what I meant. Think I better leave this thread now, so you can discuss the book with people who have read it.

EDIT:

Now that I think about it I do not think I took it that personally... anyway, I feel a bit stupid like I have destroyed your thread or something. Did not inted for it to end like this...

Darkness, you haunt me. If I give in, I would be an monster beyond imagining. Light, you guide me. Thanks to you, I see past the nothingness. Life, I choose to live in the light.
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