I watched some of the first part. The pacing was much too slow for me. I got bored with it very quickly since there wasn't really anything happing. Stuff needs to happen.
An interesting experiment but I would advice:
1. More action or interesting stuff going on.
2. Less "filler" dialog - there was a lot of blabla, cut it to the point.
3. Trim, trim, trim. The most popular videos on Youtube are often shorter than one minute. This is for a reason. People don't want to spend six or seven minuttes starring on an online video unless it is REALLY good.
When I made
Kill the avatars in FPSC my top priority was to keep it a focused experience through the game. The result was a five minute game that could easily have been longer but that would have added nothing of real value to the player. Always keep focus on your message and keep out the filler stuff.
I hope this is usefull to you in some way
edit: just watched most of part 2. More action but still a lot of hallways. I keep thinking that this could all be re-cut to a tighter and more exciting 3-4 minute movie.
