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Work in Progress / Rigor Mortis: A Sci-fi FPS game

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Silent hippo
16
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Joined: 13th Jan 2008
Location: Where you least expect it
Posted: 15th Jul 2008 19:46
STORY:
You are Jerald Fordson, a Marine Trainee in the year 2121. In a underground facility in a Pacific American Territory, you train to guard the many scientific laboratories and experimental centers of a private organization that is being paid government money to create weapons, armor, and most importantly, medical supplies. One day after weapons and fitness training, you are attacked by three abominations made out of parts from man and machine alike. You are forced to kill them, and when security arrives, you are placed under arrest until it can be confirmed that the fire fight was only in self defense. Placed in a Cryogenic Stasis cell, you wake up nine years later into a ruined, deserted shell of what once was the laboratory. The same cyborgs and other unnatural beings now populate the place, and you have to fight your way out, while through recordings and encounters with the few surviving humans, learn the true nature of your enemy and what really happened.

Alright, not the most original idea...I admit, there are some similarities between this and Bioshock, but the idea of the game is different. It is NOT meant to criticize Ann Rand and here books on Objectivism , and there are no special powers that you or enemy's can wield. I guess this could be called like a Bioshock/half-life 1 hybird. What, you didn't know Bioshock was based on a book? It was based on Atlas Shrugs. Look up all the similarities between the book and the game some time.
Big Man
19
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Joined: 4th Feb 2005
Location: BEHIND YOU!!!! (but I live in England)
Posted: 15th Jul 2008 19:49
So where are the pictures of what you have done so far?
Have you got a demo?
Have you even started making the game yet?
BM

Our aim is to keep the loo's clean, your aim can help.
Silent hippo
16
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Joined: 13th Jan 2008
Location: Where you least expect it
Posted: 15th Jul 2008 19:54
No pictures, started game, demo in progress. The easy part is just the fighting. But then there are the recordings, the talking parts...my sound recording system is really good, i mean like, REALLY good, but it makes it that much harder to use. So be patient young one, and let the force guide you to an answer. If it doesn't, just feel free to criticize my plot line. I need the inspiration.
tiresius
21
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Joined: 13th Nov 2002
Location: MA USA
Posted: 15th Jul 2008 20:17
Read this:
http://forum.thegamecreators.com/?m=forum_view&t=37738&b=8
Me want pictures.

What you wrote up there takes the average person 2 minutes to come up with. It's might be alright to take the whole setup of HalfLife, but at least make the original part's premise somewhat plausible. If I was a security officer and I saw 3 dead "abominations" on the ground and a marine security trainee standing over them, I wouldn't go ahead and arrest the marine. And who needs to get frozen for a court date?

I'm not a real programmer but I play one with DBPro!
Phosphoer
16
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Joined: 8th Dec 2007
Location: Seattle
Posted: 15th Jul 2008 20:18
Without screenshots this is likely to be locked up no matter how exciting your plot is ><.

This is a random sentence about squirrels.
Silent hippo
16
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Joined: 13th Jan 2008
Location: Where you least expect it
Posted: 15th Jul 2008 20:26
Yeah, you'll all get your pictures. And tiresius...do you think that firefights in a government building are legal? And for your information, tiresius, freezing someone so that them can't even think is basically the best way of keeping someone from escaping a jail, or even plotting to escape.
Darth Kiwi
19
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Joined: 7th Jan 2005
Location: On the brink of insanity.
Posted: 15th Jul 2008 21:15
Quote: "It was based on Atlas Shrugs. "

Philosophically, this is bang on - but the two plots are fairly different. (Though I believe there is a utopia in Atlas Shrugged as well.)

I like the idea, especially the fact that you can blame your predicament on the people who were trying to fill out forms saying "yes, it was self-defence". I suggest you keep putting little interesting touches to it like that: it'd be a shame to have this just slip into a "kill all baddies, then get out" shooter.

I'm not actually a Kiwi, I just randomly thought it up one day.
tiresius
21
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Joined: 13th Nov 2002
Location: MA USA
Posted: 15th Jul 2008 23:07
Quote: "do you think that firefights in a government building are legal?"

So this guy is training to be a marine for security, has a gun, and is allowed to walk around with the gun. But he'll get in trouble if he uses it in obvious self-defense. Did I mention he's training to be a security marine? No security cameras in this scientific lab, either. Etc, etc.

You asked for plot criticism and all I'm getting back is defensive rhetoric. And your first post comes off as condescending, assuming people don't read and can't make literary connections. So good luck with that.

But hey, plots and such can be changed quickly and there's no need to dwell on it now. As long as it's not an FPS Creator game I look forward to seeing the progress.

I'm not a real programmer but I play one with DBPro!
Silent hippo
16
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Joined: 13th Jan 2008
Location: Where you least expect it
Posted: 15th Jul 2008 23:24
He is TRAINING...That is the key word there, buster. Not actually a marine yet. Well, the reason that the cameras are down is actually part of the story. So shhhhhhhhhh! I don't want to give away spoilers! Good thinking, though.
tha_rami
18
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Joined: 25th Mar 2006
Location: Netherlands
Posted: 16th Jul 2008 05:22
This doesn't belong in WIP and in the current state, I honestly doubt it should be in Game Design as well. Images and more information on what would make your game worthwhile would be a good idea.


A mod has been erased by your signature because it was larger than 600x120
Benji
18
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Joined: 17th Dec 2005
Location: Mount Doom
Posted: 16th Jul 2008 05:45 Edited at: 16th Jul 2008 05:49
Plots like this are easy to make, and you don't seem to have thought this one out much. I suggest you create a more detailed plot, get a reasonable amount of coding done, and them come here and post progress.

EDIT:

Oh, and if you want others to criticize your work I suggest you thank them for taking time to help you, and not make excuses on why your plot was messed up.

My signature is empty.
Homey the Clown
20
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Joined: 4th Apr 2004
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Posted: 18th Jul 2008 22:06
please post some evidence of your wip or you are going to get flamed.

"I don't think so... Homey don't play that."
-Homey D. Clown
Intel Pentium 4 2.4Ghz processor,512MB Ram,GeForce4 MX 4000
Big Man
19
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Joined: 4th Feb 2005
Location: BEHIND YOU!!!! (but I live in England)
Posted: 21st Jul 2008 22:53
Quote: "please post some evidence of your wip or you are going to get flamed.
"

agreed!
BM

Our aim is to keep the loo's clean, your aim can help.

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