Hey,
Prepare yourself for C&C...
1. Why is that white things there?
2. Make the light ray dynamic give it a coloff sciprt. Set physics off and set it as imobile.
3. Maybe you cold make it a colder atmosphere with playing with the ambienceredbluegreen, or making a semi-transparant hud. Maybe a blue-grey-semi-tranparant-hud. It would be alot better IMO.
4. Nice to see the place is not overhelmed with thousends of crappy entitys. But some more "entities with a reason" would be good. [if you know what i mean]
5. Screamers arent my favo, but one or two times is cool. [do at the good point of the game]
6. At the first screen you made a a six meter pit. And outside there is snow, right? Maybe the first segment, [the upper sement, hope you understand] should be a bit with a icy texture, and then go over into the rocky texture.
7. The Story is nice, a bit short, but good.
8. One thing i dont like in games is: A rocky floor/wall. But it is just a 2D texture, and because of that it looks unrealistic. Maybe putting some 3D stones [i repeat "only a couple" (the 2D texture must be visable)] would be better.
- I didnt play it yet. No time
.
PS: If something come up in mind i will post it.
Hope I helped,
Red Eye