woot I figured it out.
Thanks Mista Wilson for an interesting command, but since my .X model has two UV's in it, the FVF command wasn't that much needed.
The problem was (just for the record, so others who come across the problem can learn to figure it out) that I was using dbTextureObject when I should be using the blend tool.
I find this setting to be the best for light mapping
dbSetBlendMappingOn(ObjNum,0,ImageNum1,0,0);
dbSetBlendMappingOn(ObjNum,1,ImageNum2,0,5);
// the '5' is the true object colour but if you want your model darker
// use 4. Anything over 5 is over exposed