Sorry your browser is not supported!

You are using an outdated browser that does not support modern web technologies, in order to use this site please update to a new browser.

Browsers supported include Chrome, FireFox, Safari, Opera, Internet Explorer 10+ or Microsoft Edge.

Geek Culture / All your base are belong to us

Author
Message
MushroomHead
22
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 26th Aug 2002
Location: United Kingdom
Posted: 30th Oct 2003 21:03 Edited at: 30th Oct 2003 21:18
Link
http://www.theonion.com/onion3311/microsoftpatents.html

All your binaries are belong to us!
Back to top
Profile PM
IanM
Retired Moderator
22
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 11th Sep 2002
Location: In my moon base
Posted: 30th Oct 2003 21:21
Link
Rubbish! TGC could easily say that they use a completely different set of binary digits ... a and b for example

Anyway, both 0 and 1 are prior art. Both have been around forever, so Microsoft could never enforce this ... except if they use an American court of course
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
ESC_
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 29th Aug 2003
Location: Mass.
Posted: 30th Oct 2003 21:52
Link
lol, I love the onion.

"That's not a bug, it's a feature!"
"Variables won't, constants aren't."
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Yian
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 16th Jun 2003
Location: Nicosia, Cyprus(the Greek half)
Posted: 30th Oct 2003 21:53
Link
This is what I thought when I saw the title:
1.The victory cheat in warcraft 3 single player
2.The error message generated by a game called zero flight wing or something like that,which said what the title says,for some reason.

Jeriko The Slyz,Yian The Craft,The Mechanist,The Lost One,Master Of Dots,Bambos O Bellos,Zolos O Kolos
Back to top
Profile PM
heartbone
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 9th Nov 2002
Location:
Posted: 30th Oct 2003 21:56
Link
Yes the American court $ystem may OK this one for the national security.

The more you see, the more you know.
The more you know, the more you see.
Back to top
Profile PM Website
OSX Using Happy Dude
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 21st Aug 2003
Location: At home
Posted: 30th Oct 2003 22:21 Edited at: 30th Oct 2003 22:22
Link
Well - looks like we might all be out of a job then...

I'll probably end up joining my sister at Sainsbury's, or even worse, follow in my father's footsteps and become a traffic warden...


Avatar & Logo by Indi. Insert witty comment here...
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
HZence
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 9th Mar 2003
Location:
Posted: 30th Oct 2003 23:09
Link
LOL. I actually thought this was real before I saw the title of my browser: "The Onion". I'm an idiot.

Team EOD :: Programmer/Storyboard Assistant
Back to top
Profile PM
IanM
Retired Moderator
22
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 11th Sep 2002
Location: In my moon base
Posted: 30th Oct 2003 23:13
Link
Hmmm ... traffic warden? That explains a lot ...
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Mattman
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 5th Jun 2003
Location: East Lansing
Posted: 31st Oct 2003 01:25 Edited at: 31st Oct 2003 01:27
Link
my fav quote from this article:

Quote: ""Because all integers and natural numbers derive from one and zero, Microsoft may, by extension, lay claim to... pretty much everything.""


Quote: "Lattimore said that the only mathematical constructs of which Microsoft may not be able to claim ownership are infinity and transcendental numbers like pi. Microsoft lawyers are expected to file liens on infinity and pi this week.
"


Quote: ""Think of this as a partnership," Gates said. "Like the ones and zeroes of the binary code itself, we must all work together to make the promise of the computer revolution a reality. As the world's richest, most powerful software company, Microsoft is number one. And you, the millions of consumers who use our products, are the zeroes.""


Got a knack for finding secrets??? Jingot Racing---A new brand of Racing---Only from Nightwatch Studios
"hey, it's tomorrow" - Hamish
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
OSX Using Happy Dude
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 21st Aug 2003
Location: At home
Posted: 31st Oct 2003 13:19
Link
Quote: "Hmmm ... traffic warden? That explains a lot ..."

I presume your refering to my easy-going nature etc...


Avatar & Logo by Indi. Insert witty comment here...
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
David T
Retired Moderator
22
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 27th Aug 2002
Location: England
Posted: 31st Oct 2003 13:23
Link
lol very good

"The trouble with the French is that they have no word for 'entreprenuer'" - Pres. George W Bush
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Shadow Robert
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 22nd Sep 2002
Location: Hertfordshire, England
Posted: 31st Oct 2003 13:27
Link
seems to only apply to non-microsoft things...
however Microsoft don't hold the patent to such things and there is no way you can get a patent on something like this.

If this is real ... then Gates has lost the plot a bit... hell whatever he's taking i'm sure there must be a huge street price for

personally couldn't be arsed to read much of it, and the flashing "HENTAI SERVICE" to the side kinda side tracked me


To Survive You Must Evolve... This Time Van Will Not Escape His Fate!
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
TKF15H
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 20th Jul 2003
Location: Rio de Janeiro
Posted: 31st Oct 2003 13:50
Link
Quote: "If this is real ..."

New to the Onion, Raven?
Write "microsoft" in the search form and then read a few of the articles they've written. Things like:
Quote: "Evil Genius Gates Drops Windows 98 Into NYC Water Supply "


Morfy's Law - Enythink thet ken go rong willll.
Cole's Law - Thinly sliced cabbage.
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Shadow Robert
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 22nd Sep 2002
Location: Hertfordshire, England
Posted: 31st Oct 2003 21:23
Link
look i don't know what PMSL stands for nor do i care... just f*ckin' leave me ALONE!


To Survive You Must Evolve... This Time Van Will Not Escape His Fate!
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Dsarchy
20
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 4th Oct 2003
Location: UK- Kent
Posted: 1st Nov 2003 12:30
Link
Hentai.....how can you watch that? Its Cartoons for christ sake. And it is so perverted it is not even funny
(psst.....get a girl friend)

vivi

"A Chain Is Only As Strong As Its Weakest Link"
Back to top
Profile PM Website
Joeyjoejoe Shabadoo
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 8th May 2003
Location:
Posted: 1st Nov 2003 13:12 Edited at: 1st Nov 2003 13:13
Link
agreed

only watching cartoons dance is fun...weeeee.

Hmm gir must be getting tired.

This sig is poinless. Poin poin poin poin!
Back to top
Profile PM
Back to top

Login to post a reply

Server time is: 2024-09-20 18:52:42
Your offset time is: 2024-09-20 18:52:42