Good luck finding help. All I can say is download many shader sample files, take the time to read through them and play around with them. Shader programming of such detail is a programming project in its own right.
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HLSL language is quite similar to C, and there are a number of examples available in the forums and accross the internet.
What you are trying to achieve is not something simple that can be posted on a forum like this in a few paragraphs; I see you needing at least 2 shaders to get that to work.
There is a lot of work involved to produce such a result effectively. You'd need to apply transparency in the shader, use a semi transparent texture or literal colour and make use of shadow mapping which is likely to require an additional shader. How you achieve the glow is down to preference, personally I'd take the easy route and use a dedicated bloom camera that picks up the objects set to glow and use down sampled highlights (blurred highlights); any real 3D glow would require vertex duplication to extrude shiney streaks outward from the object; but that can be laggy.
All in all, no walk through the park. Even if you found a ready made sample, or if someone posts you it up on a silver platter or perhaps one of Evolveds shaders cracks it; it is hard to find something that fits all engines; precise to what you desire; and you sound like you are after a specific result.
Good luck.