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Geek Culture / short story

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Teh Go0rfmeister
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Posted: 15th Mar 2004 20:19
[href]www.tinnedhead.dbspot.com/runaway.doc[/href]

I just finished my draft version of my short story to be entered for english GCSE. well, feel free to read. please post feedback on how to make it better/any grammatical errors

http://www.tinnedhead.tk under re-construction.
Lord Ozzum
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Posted: 15th Mar 2004 20:37
kicksass!!!

Good Luck, Froogle

You're just jealous cuz the voices don't talk to you!!!
David T
Retired Moderator
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Posted: 15th Mar 2004 21:31
Good luck

You may want to leave a line between each paragraph, just spaces it out well.

I'm currently writing a monologue for the exam. As in, right now. I should get back to Word

"To do is to be" - Descartes
"To be is to do" - Voltaire
"Do be do be do" - Frank Sinatra
ReD_eYe
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Location: United Kingdom
Posted: 15th Mar 2004 22:58
hehe, you think anyone will notice if i borrow it i haven't had to do the short story coursework yet
j/k(i'm a good boy)
will read it now for inspiration though...

In the beginning, the universe was created...
This made alot of people very angry and it has been widely regarded as a bad idea...
Visit http://redeye.dbspot.com
Teh Go0rfmeister
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Posted: 16th Mar 2004 17:45
I havent had creative writing for some time now, so i decided occasionally i'd start a script for a film or sumthin, but then get bored, so all these ideas have been building up since... at least 3 yrs since i least did any creative writing for school, so i had a chance to let the ideas out.

http://www.tinnedhead.tk under re-construction.
Teh Go0rfmeister
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Posted: 17th Mar 2004 21:17
I got the draft back today... judging by her (the teacher) notes i just need to fix repeated words and change "hear" to "here" and it'll be an A*

http://www.tinnedhead.tk under re-construction.
David T
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Posted: 17th Mar 2004 21:46
Well done

"To do is to be" - Descartes
"To be is to do" - Voltaire
"Do be do be do" - Frank Sinatra
Jonny_S
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Posted: 17th Mar 2004 23:04
lol I suck at English, my coursework is at a heafty C They were all the night before jobs

Supermonkey - The crime gifhting sex god monkey!
Teh Go0rfmeister
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Posted: 18th Mar 2004 22:55
same ere, same with everyone i think

http://www.tinnedhead.tk under re-construction.
David T
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Posted: 18th Mar 2004 23:34 Edited at: 18th Mar 2004 23:35
Quote: "lol I suck at English, my coursework is at a heafty C They were all the night before jobs "


I'm more of a weekend before person.

"To do is to be" - Descartes
"To be is to do" - Voltaire
"Do be do be do" - Frank Sinatra
Teh Go0rfmeister
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Posted: 25th Mar 2004 00:29
im a weekend after.

http://www.tinnedhead.tk under re-construction.
UnderLord
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Posted: 25th Mar 2004 02:34
do fan fiction for a game if you have a problem with it fan fiction for America's army might be a little inttresting but i myself am thinking of doing some FreeLancer FF just because it would turn out really good set in that universe

The search continues.

Current project - A space game
Teh Go0rfmeister
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Posted: 26th Mar 2004 23:16
now u mention it i was gonn abase my story around orc etc, but that ideas been ripped by lord of the rings. how many people here new what a Hun was b4 i wrote my story?

http://www.tinnedhead.tk under re-construction.
Teh Go0rfmeister
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Posted: 26th Mar 2004 23:17
there, posted the final draft, if neones interested. most of it is really different compared with the first draft which youve read

http://www.tinnedhead.tk under re-construction.
Gery
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Posted: 26th Mar 2004 23:27
i cant transalate it.

Éljen Magyarország! Jawoll
Teh Go0rfmeister
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Posted: 28th Mar 2004 02:28
aww, its aout ur native people too

http://www.tinnedhead.tk under re-construction.
Lord Ozzum
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Posted: 28th Mar 2004 04:20 Edited at: 28th Mar 2004 04:22
It was about how one day Ge3ri was eating people and got farted to death and he kidnapped Sailor Beetle Juice and Super Saiyan Yoshi got angryfied and summoned his hoard of poomonkeys to reign from was gotten angryfiyed at Ge3ri so they got all toeraped by a group of donutmen and then the credits fell down and killed them all

You're just jealous cuz the voices don't talk to you!!!
Teh Go0rfmeister
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Posted: 28th Mar 2004 12:33
heheheh, i only found out like 2 months ago that Beetlegeuse was a real place

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Lord Ozzum
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Posted: 29th Mar 2004 01:28
it's also a star

You're just jealous cuz the voices don't talk to you!!!
Teh Go0rfmeister
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Posted: 29th Mar 2004 18:45
thats what i meant



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