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[At Bilbo's 111th Birthday] 
Merry: "Omg, I pwn" 
Pippin: "Sif, I pwn" 
**Rocket goes off 
Gandalf: "Pwned!" 

Bilbo: "This = shiz, bai foos" 
Bilbo has left the server 
Frodo: "***!?" 

[later, in Bag End] 
Gandalf: "Give teh ringz0r to Frodo" 
Bilbo: "Sif! It r precious!" 
Gandalf: "STFU NOOB!!!" 
Bilbo: "ok" 
Gandalf has logged on as admin 
Bilbo has been kicked from The Shire 

**Later 
Gandalf: "Show me teh ring, foo!" 
**Gandalf rides out, does some research, comes back 
Gandalf: "OMGZ, it R teh ring!" 
Frodo: "***?" 
Gandalf has logged on as admin 
Frodo has been kicked from The Shire 
Sam has been kicked from The Shire 

[At Isengard] 
Gandalf: "sup dawg, i r g4nd4lf da gr3y!" 
Saruman: "Foo! U R teh noob!" 
Gandalf: "***?!" 
Saruman: "Sauron pwns joo!" 
Gandalf: "Sif, I R leet" 
**Sarumon beats the **** out of Gandalf 
Saruman: "Pwned!" 

[on the road to Bree] 
Merry: "look foos, shrooms!" 
Pippin: "Woot! Shrooms!" 
Frodo: "Ph34r!" 
Sam: "Shrooms!" 
Frodo: "PH34R!1!1" 
**black rider stops, sniffs, goes past 
Frodo: "OMG, packetloss!" 

[Bree, in the Inn of the Prancing Pony] 
**Frodo is drinking and dancing on a table, then slips 
Frodo has left the server 
Frodo has connected to the server 
Frodo: "OMGz, dc'd" 
Aragorn: "OMG, noobz" 

[at Weathertop] 
Merry: "Mmm, shrooms!" 
**MERRY IS BROADCASTING HIS IP ADDRESS!!! 
Frodo: "Foos! Ph34r teh haxorz" 

**the black riders attack 
Merry: "OMG!!!" 
Sam: "O.M.G!!!11" 
Pippin: "***" 
Frodo has left the server 
**head nazgul stabs Frodo's ghost 
Frodo has connected to the server 
Frodo: "***... hax!" 
**Aragorn lraps into the fray with a flaming brand 
Aragorn: "PH34r!!!!!!" 
Merry: "LOLOL flamed! " 

[on the road to Rivendell] 
Aragorn: "ZOMG!Arwen!" 
**Arwen rides up 
Aragorn: "A/S/L? Wanna net secks?" 
Arwen: "Sif! *** is up with Frodo?" 
Sam: "teh leet Hax0r " 
Arwen: "Firewall?" 

**Arwen rides off with Frodo, the nazgul give chase. Arwen crosses the ford at Rivendell. 
Arwen: "PH34R!! My dad pwns urs!" 
**nazgul start to cross 
Arwen: "LOLOLOLO noobs!!1!" 
**the ford rises up and washes the nazgul away 
Warning: Connection Problems Detected 
nazgul has disconnected 
nazgul has disconnected 
nazgul has disconnected 
nazgul has disconnected 
nazgul has disconnected 
nazgul has disconnected 
nazgul has disconnected 
Arwen: "Pwnt" 

[at the Council of Elrond] 
Gimli: "dwarves pwn!" 
Legolas: "Sif, Elves pwn!" 
Boromir: "OLOLOL noobs, men pwn!" 
Elrond: "STFU tards!!1!" 
**Frodo puts the ring on the plinth 
Gimili: "Sif ring pwns all!" 
**Gimli swings his axe at it, which shatters 
Elrond: "**sigh, noob" 

[Frodo meets up with Bilbo] 
Bilbo: "OLOL, me = 10th level thief!" 
Frodo: "OMG, u r teh pwn!" 
Bilbo: "Do u still have teh ringz0r?" 
**Frodo shows Bilbo the One Ring 
Bilbo: "OMG u tard, I want to TK you!" 
Frodo: "sif!" 
Bilbo: "ph34r my mithril" 

[The Fellowship leaves Rivendell] 
**Gandalf leads the fellowship through the mountains 
Legolas: "ZOMG, leet gfx!" 
Gimli: "I R dropping frames! FFS" 
**There's an avalanche which threatens to knock them off the shelf 
Gimli: "Gandalf, teh draw distance is too far!1!!1" 
Gandalf: "**Sigh. Moria?" 
Gimli votes to change map to Moria 
Votes 4 of 4 required 
Legolas: "lolol Gimli, time to upgrade!" 

[The fellowship approaches the gates of Moria] 
Gandalf: "FFS, its too hard! Anyone got a walkthrough?" 
**The gates of Mordor open, but the Guardian attacks! 
Frodo: "OMG! ph34r!" 
Boromir: "GL HF" 
Aragorn [broadsword] guardian 
Legolas [arrow] guardian 
Gandalf: "gg" 

[The fellowship enters the mines of Moria] 
Gimli: "OMG!!!! PWNED!" 

**After travelling some time in the dark the Fellowship come to a chamber with a large well 
Gandalf: "teh bookz0r has some clues!" 
**Merry knocks a skeleton in armour down the well 
Gandalf: "OMG! noob!" 
Merry: "d'oh" 
**The fellowship hears the ork drums 
Boromir: "***?" 
Aragorn: "***?" 
Frodo: "..." 
Gandalf: "Oh ffs >.<" 
**the fellowhip shores up the doors as the orks come 
Boromir: "TEAMS FFS!" 
Aragorn [broadsword] ork 
Gimli [axe] ork 
Legolas [arrow] ork 
Aragorn [broadsword] ork 
Aragorn [broadsword] ork 
Boromir [broadsword] ork 
Gimli [axe] ork 
Gimli [axe] ork 
ork: "OMG! h4x!" 
Gimli: "pwned"! 
Legolas [arrow] ork 
Legolas [arrow] ork 
Legolas: "lol!!" 
Boromir [broadsword] ork 
Gimli [axe] ork 
Gimli: "Foos!" 
Legolas [arrow] ork 
ork: "ffs, wallhax!" 
**The cavetroll enters the chambers destroying the doors 
Gandalf: "Oh ffs!" 
Boromir: "Omg, its teh boss!" 
Aragorn: "Sif noob, we're not at teh end yet!" 
**Cavetroll slams Boromir and Aragorn out of the way, and then skewers Frodo 
Sam: "OMG!" 
Gandalf: "OMG!" 
Aragorn: "omg, pwn!" 
**Legolas jumps on the cavetroll and shoots arrows down into its head 
Legolas [arrow] cavetroll 
Ork: "OMG! PWNED!" 
Gimli: "LOLOOLOL! noobs" 
**The fellowship then runs through Moria, chased the whole way by a horde of orks 
Boromir: "FFS! Teams, foos!" 
**A flaming shadow starts to follow them, and the orks withdraw 
Aragorn: "Now THIS is teh boss!" 
Gandalf: "OMG!" 
**The fellowship take to long flights of stairs that are starting to crumble and fall. Orks shoot at them with arrows. 
Legolas: "LOL, noobs. Chex0r this out!1!" 
Legolas [arrow] ork 
Legolas [arrow] ork 
ork: "AIMBOT!" 
ork: "turn it off!" 
Legolas: "lolol!" 
**The fellowship crosses a bridge, Gandalf stops to confront the balrog 
Gandalf: "joo shall not pass!" 
Balrog: "***?" 
Gandalf: "JOO SHALL NOT PASS!" 
Balrog: "Sif, noob" 
**Gandalf strikes the bridge with his staff, cracking it and causing it to break under the Balrog's weight 
Balrog: "ZOMG! PWNED!" 
Frodo: "OMG! Gandalf!" 
**The Balrog falls and in a last act of defiance strikes out with its whip, entangling Gandalf 
Gandalf: "D'oh" 
Frodo: "OMG, joo foo!" 
Gandalf: "fly u foos, fly!" 
**Gandalf lets go and follows the Balrog into the crevass 
Gandalf has left the server 
Balrog has disconnected 

[After escaping Moria the fellowship finds itself in Loth Lorien] 
**The fellowship rests, and in the night Frodo speaks with Galadriel 
Galadriel: "For a noob, u r teh leet!" 
Frodo: "Sif. I don't want teh ringz0r. Do u want teh ringz0r?" 
Galadriel: "******! SIF I want teh ringz0r. I have enough h4x of my own!1" 

[The fellowship leaves Loth Lorien and sets out via river] 
Saurman: "ph34r my army of uruk hai! Go outz0r, find teh hobbitz and pwnz0r them!" 
uruk hai: "leet!" 

[stopping at the banks of the river, the Fellowship sets up camp] 
**Frodo goes off looking for firewood, Boromir follows and confronts him 
Boromir: "Gimmie teh ringz0r so ** hax can fight teh boss!" 
Frodo: "Sif, foo. Punkbuster will pwn joo!" 
Boromir: "Naw, we play on non-pb servers" 
Frodo: "STFU noob" 
Frodo has left the server 
Boromir: "***! FRODO! Bring teh ringz0r back, faghat!" 

**A group of Uruk Hai encounter Boromir 
Boromir: "OH FFS, TEAMS!!" 
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir 
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir 
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir 
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir 
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir 
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir 
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir 
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir 
Boromir: "****ing campers" 
**Aragorn comes across the battle 
Aragorn: "Boromir joo noob! ***!" 
Uruk Hai: "Hah, pwn!" 
Aragorn [broadsword] Uruk Hai 
Aragorn: "I bring joo teh pwn!" 
**Aragorn goes to Boromir 
Boromir: "Damn lag!" 
Warning: Connection problems detected 
Boromir has disconnected 
Aragorn: "FFS!" 

[Frodo returns to the bank of the river where he gets into a boat. Sam 'sees' him] 
Sam: "Frodo! ***! Invisibility h4x!" 
Frodo has connected to the server 
Frodo: "Sam, STFU and FOAD!" 
Sam: "Sif!" 
Frodo: "Oh, ffs n00b!" 

3Nd!!!!11