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You know you're from Massachusetts if.....

1. You think crosswalks are for wimps

2. You think if someone is nice to you they either want something or they are from out of town and lost

3. You know how to cross four lanes of traffic in five seconds

4. You can drive to the mountains and the ocean all in one day

5. You think it's not actually tailgating unless you're touching the bumper of the car in front of you

6. You know that a yellow light means that at least five more cars can get through and a red one means two more can

7. The transportation system is known as the "T"

8. You could own a small town in Iowa for the cost of your house

9. Subway is a fast food place

10. There are 24 Dunkin Donuts shops within 15 minutes of your house

11. When people talk about "The Curse Of The Bambino" you know what
they're talking about and believe it too (although there is no-longer a curse)

12. You believe using your turn signals gives away your plan to the
enemy

13. If you stay on the same road long enough it eventually has three
different names

14. Someone has honked at you because you didn't peel out the second the light turned green

15. You have honked at someone because they didn't peel out the second the light turned green

16. All the potholes just add to the excitement of driving

17. Stop signs mean slow down a little, but only if you want to

18. Six inches of snow is considered a dusting

19. Three days of 90 degree heat is definitely a "heat wave", 63
degrees is "on the warm side"

20. You cringe every time you hear some actor/actress imitate the
"Boston Accent" on TV or in a movie, if you don't have it then you're never going to get it even if you were born here

21. At the ice cream shop you call chocolate sprinkles "jimmies"

22. You can go from one side of town to the other in less than fifteen minutes

23. The person in front of you is going 70 MPH and you're cursing them for going too slow

24. You know how to pronounce towns like Worcester, Haverhill, and
Cotuit

25. You know what they sell at a "packie"

26. You have never been to Cheers

27. You've slammed on your brakes to deter a tailgater

28. You keep an ice scraper in your car all year round

29. You know if you don't like the weather, all you have to do is wait a few minutes and it will change.

30. You know what a frappe is

31. Paranoia sets in when you can't see an ATM or CVS

32. You've pulled out of a side street and used your car to block
oncoming traffic so you can make a left turn

33. You've bragged about saving money at The Christmas Tree Shop

34. You know what "regular coffee" is

35. You can navigate a rotary without a problem

36. You have been to Fenway Park

37. You refer to the New York Yankees as the devil

38. You feel the rest of the world needs to drive more like you

39. When someone calls you a "M*sshole" you take it as a compliment

40. You use the words "wicked" and "good" in the same sentence

41. You never say "Cape Cod" you say "the cape"

42. You went to Old Sturbridge Village and Plymouth Plantation in
elementary school

43. You know the Mass Pike is some strange weather dividing line

44. You have survived the big dig

45. You almost feel disappointed when someone doesn't flip you off when you cut them off or steal their parking space

46. You actually understand all these jokes

There was a big dig in the city I live near...

hey, i understand all these jokes and im not from Massechesurtsa...Massechusuts...massekewsus...alright, MA!

the stupid pedestrians up there, that like to just step into traffic because you have to stop... we call em Massholes

I suppose this would be funnier if I were from that part of the continent However, I still want to go there and visit MIT sometime...

You know your in south Texas when.....

1. The lunch lady answers "Que?" when you ask for more ketchup.

2. When the most exciting time of the year seems to be the county Live Stock show.

3. When Winter is actually pretty nice, and Summer is horribly hot.

4. When your one of the only 5 white kids in your class of 200 kids.

5. When you go to a restaurant, order mexican food, and it actually tastes good.

6. When cow paddies are an abundant resource.

7. Where Dear season is like a second christmas.

8. When you can hear a war going on outside during Dove season, POW POW!

wtf...explains a lot

Umm... jokes? Those weren't jokes.




No, seriously, every one of them was true.

Three guys sitting in a bar...

The first guy boasts:
''I used to date this girl from Maine, and she only had 1 eye!''

The second guy replies:
''That's nothing, I dated a girl from New Jersey and she only had 1 arm!''

The third guy smirks and shakes his head:
''You guys don't know the half of it - I once dated this chic from Massachusetts, and she only had 1 kid!''


Van-B