I think a lot depends on the other setting in your code. I always have trouble with light, but just keep testing different combos until I get the effect I like. Here are some things I know. Maybe they can help:
1) Light seems to work better with textured objects than object using only Color Object.
2) Seems like you understand Ambient light like I do: Turn it down for more shadows, turn it up for less.
3) Ambient sets the color an object reflects based on exposure to ambient light
4) Specular set the reflective color based on a light source.
5) Specular power increases/decreases the reflective light of an object.
6) Emmisive sets the object's own inner light color. Setting this to a high color will make the object brighter regardless of other lights. I've used this for an effective "star" effect.
7) Not sure how diffuse works. Have read the help a lot on this one: seems to determine the object's overall color based on all light sources.
8) While colors are affected by the above factors, it also seems the object's brightness is affected as well.
9) Directional lights are square, not round.
10) It's very difficult to get a single object to be illuminated by a light source. It might be easier to turn off, or down, the light settings on all your other objects, and pump up the light settings on the object to be illuminated.
11) To get a "spotlight" effect, use a cone and Ghost Object On. Then play around with the cone's light settings. Also play with Fade Object.
12) None of these ever work exactly as I think they should.
"Droids don't rip your arms off when they lose." -H. Solo
REALITY II