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Geek Culture / Best 'The Simpsons' quotes

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Zotoaster
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Posted: 2nd May 2005 22:37
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What do you think are the best 'The Simpsons' quotes? Here are some of mine...

Homer: He has all the money in the world but there's one thing he can't buy.
Marge: What's that?
Homer: (Pause).....A dinosaur



Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.


Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.


Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up)



Marge: Homer! There's someone here who can help you...
Homer: Is it Batman?
Marge: No, he's a scientist.
Homer: Batman's a scientist?!
Marge: It's not Batman!

"Well, if he dies, it'll teach him not to do it again." - Me
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David R
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Posted: 2nd May 2005 23:39
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"Why do I need English? Im never going to England"

(Homer)

[url=www.lightningstudios.co.uk][/url]
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SageTech
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Posted: 3rd May 2005 00:06
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(talking about cable for thier t.v) "We can't be tight with money for the thing that will be raising our kids"

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Killswitch
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Posted: 3rd May 2005 02:51
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German: We understand, after all we come from the land of chocolate.
Homer: Mmmm, the land of chocolate
*interlude*
German: Homer!
Homer: Oh sorry, I believe we were talking about chocolate.
German: That was ten minutes ago!

~It's a common mistake to make, the rules of the English langauge do not apply to insanity~
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Hamish McHaggis
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Posted: 3rd May 2005 04:32
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Quote: "*Homer looking at computer*

Homer: "To start, press any key. Where's the 'any' key? I see 'esc' 'ka-tarl' and 'pig up', there isn't any any key. Whew, all this computer hacking is making me thirsty, I think I'll order a tab.

*Presses the tab key, computer makes a sound*

Homer: Oh, no time for that, the computer's starting."


Not the best, but it's all I can think of right now .

More tea Vicar?
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Drew Cameron
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Posted: 3rd May 2005 04:43
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SNAKE: Damn, out of Ammo...
SNAKE: Give me some ammo or I'll shoot.
GUNSTORE GUY: Okay, don't shoot!

Dumbo and Cool - 50% complete today!
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PowerSoft
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Posted: 3rd May 2005 05:19
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@ Drew

[b]PowerScript: Currently Working on Expression Evaluating, thanks alot DavidT for the help
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Dazzag
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Posted: 3rd May 2005 08:11
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Bart : "I think he's going to be alriiii<Krusty's plane crashes into a cliff in the background>iiight...."

May not really be a clever on it's own quote, but I laughed my t*ts off.

Cheers

I am 99% probably lying in bed right now... so don't blame me for crappy typing
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adr
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Posted: 3rd May 2005 08:26
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Moe produces a grenade at the vigilante meeting
Hey hey ... who pulled the pin on this one?

Me? With my reputation?
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Eric T
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Posted: 3rd May 2005 08:30
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Homer: Hey flanders! Could God microwave a burrito so hot that he himself could not eat it?

I can't remember it exactly but thats my favorite one ever, though:

You don't make friends with salad!

Rates up there.

I like family guy a bit better though.

Sigs blow.
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Ace Of Spades
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Posted: 3rd May 2005 08:31
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'tis all inferior to futurama! (simpsons is a close second)

Digitalmodr
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[Apolloed ]
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Neofish
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Posted: 3rd May 2005 08:55
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Invader Zim!!!

"OC192...that's like the speed of light"
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1tg46
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Posted: 3rd May 2005 09:36
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The best quote of all time:

"Douh"

Quote: "'tis all inferior to futurama! (simpsons is a close second)"

This may be true (which it isn't, The Simpsons is far more better than Futurama), but Family Guy out ranks them all. New season in progress.


GO FAMILY GUY!!!!


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ToyImp05
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Posted: 3rd May 2005 10:10
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Family Guy will be ruined when it goes to Fox. It needs to stay at its home which is adult swim.

eat a beaver, save a tree.
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ionstream
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Posted: 3rd May 2005 10:54
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There's no 'U' in Doh, it's an American made word...

Homer: Lisa, it's time to take him down a peg, or should I say, take him down a pie!

Lisa: No, I think the word is "peg"

Homer: Maybe you're right, Lisa, maybe you're pie... pie-be you're pie...

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Raven
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Posted: 3rd May 2005 11:09
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D'oh.. and it's a Simpsons made word

Can't remember any good simpson quotes... as soon as i tried i got the Simpstone's song in my head.

'Homer.
Homer Simpson.
He's the greatest man in,
His-tor-eee,
From the,
Town of Springfield,
He's about to hit a chest-nut tree! AGGHHH! *crashs*'

Best quote from a cartoon though I can think of is from Futurama...

Under the sea, everyones ready to go home.
Zoidberg: Well. I guess this is goodbye then.
Everyone: Yeah, blah, whatever.
Zoidberg looks across to his shell.
Zoidberg: Oh no! My house burnt down! How could this happen?
Hermes: That's a very good question.
Bender: Oh so that's where I left my cigar.
Bender takes a puff of his cigar.
Hermes: THAT just raises MORE questions!

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comando 300
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Posted: 3rd May 2005 12:20 Edited at: 3rd May 2005 12:22
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This is the marijuana episode.

Otto:"Hey, Champ is pmahC backwards"
Homer:"And Otto is Otto backwards"
Otto:"Now I'm scare"

Marge:"Where did you get that suit?"
Homer:"Woah, one question at the time"

[href]http://www.freewebs.com/comando_300/[/href]
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EddieB
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Posted: 3rd May 2005 16:03
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(When Mr.Burns is asking homer for help with his love life with that trafic warden)

Homer: Can I have a Pie?
(Burns turns around and homer has a pie in his hand )
Burns: Where did you get that pie
Homer: That window ledge with the mad old cat lady

That has to my favourite.

for (i=0;i<num;i++){ printf("I am The Best"; }
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Killswitch
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Posted: 3rd May 2005 16:26
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Lisa: I believe that was implied by what I said.
Homer: Implied Lisa, or implode?

Homer: I am so smart, I am so smart, S-M-R-T, I mean S-M-A-R-T.

~It's a common mistake to make, the rules of the English langauge do not apply to insanity~
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STALKER
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Posted: 3rd May 2005 17:03
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Homer: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..................forbidden donut
Homer: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..................unprocessed fishsticks
Homer: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..................unexplained bacon
Homer: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..................pie
Homer: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..................yellow
Homer: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..................something
Homer: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..................beef
Homer: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..................sacrilicious

all i could think of so far

>>>>>>>>>>>MIRAGE STUDIOS<<<<<<<<<<<
>MEDIEVAL CARNIVAL<>GLADIATOR ARENA<
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Zotoaster
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Posted: 3rd May 2005 20:47
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south park beats everything....but here are some of my faves from south park, family guy and futurama

south park:
*kenny goes on fire*
*cartman hits kenny with stick to put it out*
cartman: aaagh, the stick is on fire!


family guy:
little baby kid that talks: ahahaa, look at him, doesn't he run like a welshman?



futurama:
proffesor: Still, they call the tooth-fairy a legend, but he's the head of the FBI.

"Well, if he dies, it'll teach him not to do it again." - Me
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flibX0r
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Posted: 3rd May 2005 22:09
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Favourite simpsons:

Marge: "Homer, this is the worst thing you've ever done"
Homer: "You've said that so many times its lost all meaning"

Favourite futurama:

the final episode's opera, all of it

most particularly, the line from Bender about irony. Perfectly in tune

"The use of words expressing something other than their literal intentions! Now that is irony"



You can't wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you
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Megaton Cat
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Posted: 4th May 2005 01:25
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"How'd you come up with the name Max Power?"
Homer: It was a setting on a hair dryer.

Homer: I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.

My cat! My cat is on fire! Dear god someone help!
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Killswitch
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Posted: 4th May 2005 02:13
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Family Guy is better than all!

Fav Family Guy quotes:

Peter: Hey, is your refridgerater running? Because if it is it probally runs like you - very homosexually.

-

Peter: Is that the bill or my phone number?!
Nurse: That's your phone number.
Peter: Well it's still pretty pricey.

-

Another one of my fav Simpsons moments is when homer says:

Homer: It's a cartoon, cartoon's don't have to make sense.
*another home walks into view in the window in the background*

~It's a common mistake to make, the rules of the English langauge do not apply to insanity~
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Dodo
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Posted: 4th May 2005 03:03
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Mr. Burns: And a stunt like that impresses people?
Homer: Oh yeah. And I'm not easily impressed. Wow! A blue car!



Mr. Burns: Keep stuffing your face. Little do you know you're drawing ever closer to the poison donut! (pause) There is a poison donut, isn't there Smithers?
Smithers: Uh, no sir. We discussed this with your lawyers, they consider it murder.
Mr. Burns: Damn their oily hides!

Apu: Thank you come again

Part of solving the problem is actually noticing that the problem is there in the first place

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EddieB
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Posted: 4th May 2005 03:14 Edited at: 4th May 2005 03:15
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Bart: Eat my Shorts

Bart: Dont have a cow man

---------------------------------

Crusty: Hey,Hey Its crusty the clown

Learning C
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Peter H
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Posted: 4th May 2005 03:18
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hehe..my favourite has to be...

"Well we can't just stand around and look at our hands all day..."

"....Althoughhhh" (they all stand there looking at their hands)

*somebody*
"They call them fingers but i've never seen them fing!"
"..........Oh...there they go..."



"We make the worst games in the universe."

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EddieB
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Posted: 4th May 2005 03:23
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(Lisa Is looking at a magazine and it has a picture of a hand with 5 fingers.)

Lisa: Some people say we will have 5 fingers one day
Homer: How freaky

(or something like that )

Learning C
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Chris K
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Posted: 4th May 2005 03:32
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From my favourite episode (Bart Gets An Elephant)

*Legs get stuck in tar*
No worries, I'll just pull them out
*Arms get stuck*
Now I'll pull my arms out, with my head.

And:

(Burns is riding the elephant)
Smithers! This reminds me of that fat man I used to ride to work.

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Raven
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Posted: 4th May 2005 03:54
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Quote: "Mr. Burns: Keep stuffing your face. Little do you know you're drawing ever closer to the poison donut! (pause) There is a poison donut, isn't there Smithers?
Smithers: Uh, no sir. We discussed this with your lawyers, they consider it murder.
Mr. Burns: Damn their oily hides!"


heh.. i like that one ^_^

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EddieB
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Posted: 4th May 2005 03:57
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That has to be my favourite one here =Þ

Learning C
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Hamish McHaggis
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Posted: 4th May 2005 06:06 Edited at: 4th May 2005 06:12
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*Bart just returns from an old lady's house after working hard all week and getting only $0.50*

Bart: I've been busting my butt for that hag all week and all I got was 50 cents!
Homer: Hey, in my day 50 cents was a lot of money.
Bart(surprised): Really?
Homer: Nah.

And on the other note, the middle series' of the Simpsons rule outright, but a four Futurama series' rock as well . What I've seen of family guy is good but it just doesn't beat the other two .

*Homer the day after throwing away his vocabulary building tape that made him speak incomprehensably complicated english*

Homer (Holding ice cream): Hey Marge, where's that metal.... deely you use to..... dig...... food.....?
Marge: You mean a spoon?
Homer (eager): Yea yea! (Grabs spoon and starts stuffing his face)

More tea Vicar?
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EddieB
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Posted: 4th May 2005 06:08
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I watched that one yesterday lol

Learning C
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Raven
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Posted: 4th May 2005 08:45
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Smithers: Sir, your mother is on line 1
Burns: Put her through
Homer (after he cut off burns mom): Hello, this is your mo-ther.
Burns: (shudders) Hello Mater, sorry about the whole pulling the plug thing. Who knew you'd pull through?

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Phaelax
DBPro Master
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Posted: 4th May 2005 12:40
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Quote: "'tis all inferior to futurama! (simpsons is a close second"


yay!

On sunday, Family Guy made me laugh more in the first minute than the last two back to back Simpsons episodes combined.

PETA - People for the Eating of Tasty Animals
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FROGGIE!
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Posted: 5th May 2005 03:19
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Marge reading from Burns' letter: If you dont come in on friday dont bother coming in on monday
Homer: Wohoo four day weekend!


*Phone rings*
Homer on couch with TV remote: C'mon, theres gotta be something on this thing for that thing

Homer: The problem with other peoples relationships is communication. Way too much communication.
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Zotoaster
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Posted: 5th May 2005 10:46
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family guy:
woman: sir, whats your name?
*peter stuggles and looks around for clues and sees a pea*
uh...pea *sees a tear from a crying woman* tear.... *sees a griffin* griffin...

simpsons:
*homer walks along* "Paperboy!!" *chucks paper at homer* "Milkman!!!" *chucks milk at homer* "pianolady!!!" *chucks piano at homer*

"Well, if he dies, it'll teach him not to do it again." - Me
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Osiris
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Posted: 5th May 2005 11:03
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Bart's riding in a hummer owned by an arnold looking guy...

Bart: Hey where's your gate?

Arnold: I dont need a gate...*then he drives over the wall*.

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ionstream
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Posted: 5th May 2005 13:05
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It's Reiner Wolfcastle.

Some other ones:

Marge: What kind of mileage do you get on that SUV?
Wolfcastle: 1 highway, 0 city.
-----------------------------------------------
Homer (Max Power, singing): Max Powerrrrr, whoser name, you'd mustn't toucch... his name sounds good in your ear, but when you say it, you mustn't fear, 'cause his name can be saaaaiiid, by anyone.
-----------------------------------------------
Homer: Hello operator? Put me through to Tailand... T-I, etc.
-----------------------------------------------
Bart (immitating Marge): Lisa, this is your mother, the doctor says your butt's too big!
-----------------------------------------------
Marge: Maybe I am crazy! I mean, I am talking to myself!
Moleman: Awww, I thought I made a friend...
-----------------------------------------------

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Killswitch
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Posted: 5th May 2005 18:38
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Family Guy:

*People protesting with 'Free Tibet signs*
Peter: Hey, buddy, can I have that?
*Gives Peter the sign; goes to phonebooth*
Peter: Hello, China? I've got something I think you might want. That's right...All the tea...

~It's a common mistake to make, the rules of the English langauge do not apply to insanity~
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Megaton Cat
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Posted: 6th May 2005 01:19 Edited at: 6th May 2005 01:20
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*Points at a hole in the wall*

"...and that's where the stock market crashed!"

My cat! My cat is on fire! Dear god someone help!
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Hamish McHaggis
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Posted: 6th May 2005 06:13 Edited at: 6th May 2005 06:15
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Police Chief Wiggum (To Fat Tony): I'm not going to rest until one of us is behind bars...
*silence*
Police Chief Wiggum: You.

Homer: (Sees Uraguay on Bart's globe): Hey, look at this country.... u...r...gay..*laughs*

More tea Vicar?
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Jimmy
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Posted: 6th May 2005 06:28
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Tour Guide: Welcome to the Springfield Shopper, established in 1883. The newspaper was founded by Johnny Newspaperseed, a fourteen year-old boy who roamed America, founding newspapers.

Homer: If he's so smart... how come he's dead?


DarkBASIC Competition with PRIZES - Join UP
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Chenak
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Posted: 6th May 2005 23:32
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homer: oh god help me! help me god!
phone rings
homer: ... hello?
guy at the phone: hello homer this is god..... ffrey Joans from the TV show Rock Bottom
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kenmo2
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Posted: 7th May 2005 06:31 Edited at: 27th Jun 2012 06:37
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Lionel Hutz, the greatest semi-main character in Simpsons history:
http://www.snpp.com/guides/hutz.file.html
Click the quotes anchor link.
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SageTech
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Posted: 7th May 2005 14:35
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Quote: "Family Guy will be ruined when it goes to Fox. It needs to stay at its home which is adult swim."


Actully, Im pretty sure Family guy's "home" is fox.

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soadjason
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Posted: 8th May 2005 08:42
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Homer: Beer, the cause of and sollution to all of life's problems.
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