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Geek Culture / For all programmers, a christmas poem

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PresFox
19
Years of Service
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Joined: 28th Aug 2005
Location:
Posted: 21st Oct 2005 00:54 Edited at: 21st Oct 2005 00:56
Twas the Night Before Beta

'Twas the night before beta and all through the house,
Not a program was working, not a keyboard or mouse.
The programmers stared at their tubes in despair,
With hopes that a miracle soon would be there.
The users were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of QIOs danced in their heads.
When out in the playroom there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter.
And what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a super programmer ( with a six-pack of beer ).
His resume glowed with experience so rare,
He turned out great code with a bit-pusher's flair.
More rapid than eagles, his programs they came,
And he cursed and muttered and called them by name,
On Update| On Transfer| On Build| On Delete|
On Batch Jobs| On Closings| On Functions Complete|
His eyes were glazed over, fingers nimble and lean,
From weekends and nights in front of a screen.
A wink of his eye and a twitch of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Turning specs into code; then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger upon the "ENTER" key,
The system came up and worked perfectly.
The updates updated; the deletes, they deleted;
The transfers transferred, and the closings completed.
He tested each whistle, and tested each bell,
With nary a bomb, and all had gone well.
The system was finished, the tests were concluded,
The users' last changes were even included.
And the user exclaimed with a snarl and a taunt,
"It's just what I asked for, but not what I want!"

Happy Testing!

btw, this is not my work, but i loved it so much i posted it here

Microsoft isnt evil, they just make really crappy operating systems -- Linus torvalds
UFO
19
Years of Service
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Joined: 11th Oct 2005
Location:
Posted: 21st Oct 2005 01:00
I think it is a little early for christmas stuff...


TKF15H
21
Years of Service
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Joined: 20th Jul 2003
Location: Rio de Janeiro
Posted: 21st Oct 2005 02:27
I don't remember carrying a six pack of beer...

WarBasic Scripting engine for DarkBasicPro
DC emulator code size: 14.3MB, 553,214 lines
Peter H
20
Years of Service
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Joined: 20th Feb 2004
Location: Witness Protection Program
Posted: 21st Oct 2005 02:33
HAHAHAHAHA...that's great...

especially the end... "It's just what I asked for, but not what I want!"


...so true

"We make the worst games in the universe."

Kangaroo2 BETA2
21
Years of Service
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Joined: 23rd Aug 2003
Location: Somerset / UK
Posted: 25th Oct 2005 00:09
Hey that was my idea! I wrote this on the forums ages ago before patch 4 came out! I quote:

"Twas the night before patch 4, and all through the Dev. house,
Not a creature was programming, or clicking a mouse.
The models were modelled in Milkshape with care,
With hope that a fixed Pipeline would mean they'd soon be there.
With the wife in bed asleep, and I up all night, this neverending project was causing me fright,
Would it be compatible, or need reprogramming instead?
As visions of BSPs danced in my head!

When out on the forums there arose such a clatter, I sprang to my browser to see what was the matter,
And what to my wandering eyes should appear, than Vegeta and Simple drowning flames in New Year Cheer,
And VanB and and TAT and Rapscallexander, and a glittering trail from the much praised Lee Bamber!
His App was so buggless, his programming so slick, I knew in a moment Patch 4 did the trick!

"Now Kanga, now Petrat now Puffy now Jerry now Sini, On Indi, on Rose, on Pittuck on DG,
And all the many others too many to call, now program, program, program away all!"
And I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight, "Thanks for using DBPro! Sorry t3dgm was sh*te!""

lol reading through that now there's lots of old names who aren't round anymore

JoelJ
21
Years of Service
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Joined: 8th Sep 2003
Location: UTAH
Posted: 25th Oct 2005 03:47
Quote: " I think it is a little early for christmas stuff..."

tell that to every freaking store in the country... morons, I think they skipped a few hollidays...

I'll give you some toast
My BLOG really sucks...
Me!
19
Years of Service
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Joined: 26th Jul 2005
Location:
Posted: 25th Oct 2005 17:02
I wondered what I was supposed to do with these christmas tree rockets, I suppose this pumpkin isn`t supposed to be on top of it either



Tyger software
UFO
19
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 11th Oct 2005
Location:
Posted: 26th Oct 2005 00:04
There's already commercials for Christmas stuff. They are insane! And those people who sell Christmas stuff throught the whole year are insane too.

That poem is really funny. Just a little early though...

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