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I made a pdf from my first 19 poems (20 pages counting the cover), and I illustrated them. But I'll be honest I SUCK with MSPain(t). Would there maybe hopefully, and possibly be someone that could help me illustate it better?

Any ways the PDF is on my site for you all to DL and print off, then staple together and put of your coffee tables (no I don't really expect you to do that, but to check it out). And btw if you don;t check it out then a wrestler ( ) is going to come after you ( ) or... whatever. Link below... ninja ( ) SWEET!

Your right about the sucky illustrations !

Good poems, though. I love poetry, used to love writing them, although I'm doing more novel-based writing now. In fact, I think I still have three of my favourite poems I wrote on my HD somewhere... might need to dig 'em out again.

Anyway, kudos!

I don't want to be too mean but those poems aren't all that great at all.

I mean, the basic spelling and grammar is poor.

You kind of said that it was straight from your heart etc. etc. but in all honesty you just wrote it to sound and look like a poem. I mean what the hell is up with the erratic lines lengths and phrases like "but this I wish not to be" and "Many long days and hours it has been"?!

Who ever, in the history of man, ever, ever, in all of time actually speaks like that?

If you want a poem to be sound like it comes from you, then write it naturally. The most powerful poems use really simple language like A Dead Boche by Robert Graves

you should talk to my girlfriend, she knows more about my work then I do. It takes me roughly 5 to 10 minutes to write and finish a poem. I do not take any time to make it sound or feel artsie. There are no mis-spelled words that I am aware of in the PDF (I have speel check). Are you really going to say a poem (an object in literature that is completely exempt from all laws of grammer) has bad grammer. It's a freaking poem.

You are right about one thing. I put one line in a few poems that is ment to be like a victorian speaker ("many long days and hours it has been"). But they all have a purpos other then confusing you.

I make no attempt to have uniform lines. Forget that. Poetry is suppost to flow easily, and I write so it sounds very smooth when I read it outloud. Lines with one or two words are ment to make those single words stand out, seperate from the rest of the poem. (The human brain is more likely to remember something if it is simple )

And reading through these people that know me can see my life through them. Even though I make an attempt to change the subject from what is really going on in my life. For example I have never owned a dog, and noone I love has died in a car accident. But at the time I wrote The Bench, and Because We Were One I had suffered some loss and had to endure some hardship.

When I wrote My Final Goodbye (I'll be honest) I was drunk. Which is one of my favorites. And this started the new trend of suicide poems. I enjoy the subject the most, because it opens the door for so much more (post-life, recovery, and discovery....)

As for the quality, thats up to you. All the feedback I have ever gotten (until now) was posative, and mostly from complete strangers that didn;t even have to say anything about them.

Thanks for the input.

Mate that's an illusion that poems just flow out of the poet, straight from the heart etc. They take a LOT of very vigourous, very unromantic, very hard work. It's like Dylan Thomas. He was one of the best poets of the 20th century and his poems sound like they just flow right out of him, but they actually took months to write.

Like the poem about his dad dying (or rather about wanting his dad to fight death) that goes:

Do not go gently into that dark night,
Strive, strive, against the dying of the light...

Etc. etc. Anyway it sounds like he wrote it at the bedside or whatever but he actually wrote out pages and pages of rhyme and rhythm possibilities and constantly changed it over a very long time.

And there ARE grammatical/spelling mistakes.

For example:


Even if you change that "then" to "than" it still doesn't make sense.

I'm sorry, from a completely unbiased viewpoint, those poems aren't great. If you don't believe me then send them to a publisher and ask them what they think.

Are you infatuated by some girl you dated before? I flipped the first few poems and felt like I was reliving the same thing I did in the past over some girl. It'll haunt you for a while to come, but try to not get so wrapped up in it emotionally.

Amen. Quality always takes work; it might come from the heart, but that doesn't mean you can jot it down in ten minutes and make a masterpiece.

I beg to differ. Observe:

The silent squawk of a hen's first hawk
The balming burns or attempt to talk.

Jimmy's right, the fact is that writing poetry has way to many variables to actually say that you need to take months to write them. Granted, they may sound better, but some poems can sound beautiful, when they are written in one go (of course, tweaks are always necessary; and by 'one go', I don't mean 10 minutes. I mean several hours, or days). I only spend about a week on each poem I write, and I doubt that winning poetry competitions (and I don't mean vanity ones, litterally, like in magazines and such) is a sign that my poems are worse off for it.