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Geek Culture / If airlines were operating systems?

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David T
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Posted: 17th Jan 2006 22:30
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The linux one's brilliant...

DOS Airlines
Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again, then they push again jump on again, and so on.

Windows Air
The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air
Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Mac Airlines
All the stewards, stewardesses, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look the same, act the same, and talk the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are told you don't need to know, don't want to know, and would you please return to your seat and watch the movie.

Linux Airlines
Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself. When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"

http://www.webaugur.com/bibliotheca/field_stock/os-airlines.html

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UFO
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Posted: 17th Jan 2006 22:34
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lol!


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OSX Using Happy Dude
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Posted: 17th Jan 2006 22:34
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Quite old...

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David T
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Posted: 17th Jan 2006 22:35
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But funny...

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Megaton Cat
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Posted: 17th Jan 2006 22:42
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I think they forgot to mention how you have to cook your own in-flight meal on the Linux plane and dispose of your waste in a paper bag since there are no bathrooms on board.
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PowerSoft
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Posted: 17th Jan 2006 22:54
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hehe, how true

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David T
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Posted: 17th Jan 2006 23:03
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Quote: "I think they forgot to mention how you have to cook your own in-flight meal on the Linux plane and dispose of your waste in a paper bag since there are no bathrooms on board. "


Bathrooms are an optional extra (KBathroom), although you need to assemble it yourself - kits can be ordered from some factory in the middle of Brazil.

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jasonhtml
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Posted: 18th Jan 2006 04:21
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roflol this was so funny

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dark coder
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Posted: 18th Jan 2006 04:23
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either theres something wrong with me or thats not even the slightest bit funny.

Halowed are the ori.
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Oddmind
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Posted: 18th Jan 2006 04:30
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ever played with mac? ever played with linux? ever had brain damage? THIS IS FUNNY!! I KNOW FUNNY WHEN I SEE IT. this is the epitemy of funny!

formerly KrazyJimmy
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John H
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Posted: 18th Jan 2006 04:32
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Heh, Mac was the funniest Saw the Linux part coming though


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flibX0r
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Posted: 18th Jan 2006 05:22
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Hey hey hey...

http://forum.thegamecreators.com/?m=forum_view&t=30352&b=2

You stole my joke that I stole from GameDev. Damn you



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Dave J
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Posted: 18th Jan 2006 06:36
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Reminds me of a newspaper article I read where Bill Gates said something along the lines of: "If cars had progressed at the same rate as computer software, then we'd all be flying in hover cars that ran on very little fuel."

To which one of the CO's of a major car manufacturer (can't remember which one) replied: "If cars had progressed at the same rate as computer software, they would take 5 minutes to get running, would only turn left, and would require servicing every 3 days."


"Computers are useless, they can only give you answers."
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Dark Lord
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Posted: 19th Jan 2006 01:50 Edited at: 19th Jan 2006 01:51
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Quote: "Windows NT Air
Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes."
haha - I heard NT was like that .
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Les Horribres
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Posted: 19th Jan 2006 03:09 Edited at: 19th Jan 2006 03:11
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What was BeOS?

If cars had progressed at the same rate as computer software, then we'd all be flying in hover cars that ran on very little fuel.

Uhh, that is the crazyest thing I have ever heard...
If Cars progressed as much as windows, they would use MORE fuel, require an extra engine to run the "specail features". You would need to take it in every other day for the latests "upgrades", of course by the time you get the upgrade the car has already been "infected". When you turn your car off you will be presented with many options on HOW you want your car to turn off. If you get a new stereo you need to make sure it is the newest one possible, else it may not work correctly. You also need to be ware of using competitors parts, your new car WILL destroy them, even if it means destroying itself.

The only good side is that it will look "purdyer" with a morphing body that changes to whatever you want. And you will suffer from less breakdowns, even though previous versions fixed all of this.

And if you look at it from another view, your NEW car is really your old car with a few "hidden" features, either accessable by "Ä 2 bytes" or by hardware that is free down the street.

(Note on Upgrades: (Ohh, we didn't fix everything, here is something someone recently exploited))

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Hawkeye
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Posted: 19th Jan 2006 03:13
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So old... but so good... I think I first heard this on the IRC. Good stuff anyways


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Phaelax
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Posted: 19th Jan 2006 04:39
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They forgot to mention on the Linux: In mid-flight, your seat will unmount randomly, requiring you to rebolt it.


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Wiggett
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Posted: 19th Jan 2006 08:43
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haha , very true, specially the linux and m$ ones. infact the apple one too, i hate those apple shop workers

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OSX Using Happy Dude
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Posted: 19th Jan 2006 10:30
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Quote: "What was BeOS?"

A pretty good operating system for Intel Compatiable computers. Unfortunately Be, Inc. went bust a few years ago, and was taken over by another company - unfortunately BeOS is no longer availiable.

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Dave J
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Posted: 19th Jan 2006 10:38
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Quote: "Uhh, that is the crazyest thing I have ever heard...
If Cars progressed as much as windows, they would use MORE fuel, require an extra engine to run the "specail features". You would need to take it in every other day for the latests "upgrades"... "


I take it you didn't read the other half of my post.


"Computers are useless, they can only give you answers."
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IanG
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Posted: 19th Jan 2006 17:05
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its funny but is quite old know, i remember telling one of my non-tech friends this, they just stared at me and said "what's funny about that?"


amd athlon xp 2600+,1280mb,FX 5200 128mb,200gb,xp pro sp2
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Fallout
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Posted: 19th Jan 2006 18:16
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@dark coder

I agree I'm afraid. Operating systems and airports rate pretty high on my boring things list. Needless to say, I experienced a blank faced tumbleweed moment.

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Les Horribres
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Posted: 19th Jan 2006 21:03
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Exeat, yeah I read your full post... I just love bashing windows, expecally XP and Vista.

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Big Man
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Posted: 19th Jan 2006 22:18
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at one point we had our computer running on windows 95 windows 98 and windows nt But I havent a clue as to why.

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Jeku
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Posted: 19th Jan 2006 22:56
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Quote: "I just love bashing windows, expecally XP and Vista."


Haha yah, so funny to bash an OS that doesn't exist yet. Muhuhaha.


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Undercover Steve
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Posted: 20th Jan 2006 01:34
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Merranvo, make your own operating system NOW. No precompiled kernel. Use DOS source as a base, and make your own kernel. Use about 50 people, who are partially experienced, and at the same time, make other products. Then, wait a few months, and open your company to stock investors. Your company gets sued almost every other day, and the company has to manage it. Then you get your company divided. Please, do this, and you will realise that microsoft and windows have done a top job, especially for a closed source OS.

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JoelJ
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Posted: 20th Jan 2006 06:57
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Quote: "If Cars progressed as much as windows, they would use MORE fuel, require an extra engine to run the "specail features". "

funny, but, computers progress so we can do bigger and better things, MS is just utilizing resources.

for a car, what's bigger and better? use less fuel, and have more power.

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SirFire
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Posted: 20th Jan 2006 07:23
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Quote: "funny, but, computers progress so we can do bigger and better things, MS is just utilizing resources."


Every time we make computers more powerful, Windows consumes more resources and cancels it out IMO.

That's why I'm still on win2kp.

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JoelJ
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Posted: 20th Jan 2006 08:03
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it's funny how people say that... but you can turn off all the visual themes and crap like that in XP, and then it doesn't use these extra resources.

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Undercover Steve
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Posted: 20th Jan 2006 17:05
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Thats what I do. I now only use 128mb ram, and I have 800mb free at any time

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Seppuku Arts
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Posted: 20th Jan 2006 18:03
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Lol, what about Risc OS For Acorn computers?


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Phaelax
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Posted: 21st Jan 2006 04:31
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wasn't beOS a 64-bit system?


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Les Horribres
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Posted: 24th Jan 2006 00:18 Edited at: 24th Jan 2006 03:55
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[url]

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David T
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Posted: 24th Jan 2006 00:22
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Windows hasn't just been a GUI since the 98/ME days. XP is based on NT which is the operating system.

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re faze
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Posted: 24th Jan 2006 01:50
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Quote: "Reminds me of a newspaper article I read where Bill Gates said something along the lines of: "If cars had progressed at the same rate as computer software, then we'd all be flying in hover cars that ran on very little fuel.""

nope, as somebody said, we would need an extra engine and probably like 3 gas tanks as minimum specs (vista)
what happened to the days of optimization, nobody cares anymore, people say , we have more ram and faster processors so that eliminates the need to optimize. WRONG, faster processors and more room should mean more features with optimizations. if you dont optimize no matter how fast your processor is you will be running like crap. thats why games like phantasy star II were like 512kb and they were just as fast and looked nearly as good as games today (even remakes) that need like 10 mb.

Dont code slowly be SWIFT about it!
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ionstream
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Posted: 24th Jan 2006 02:58
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You know, I would be surprised if you guys actually knew what the crud you were talking about, except for the mods.




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Les Horribres
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Posted: 24th Jan 2006 03:48
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Please Ignore that post, I had a migrane and posted 30% dumber then I normally do... Question is, how do I normally post? Wait... Did I just insult myself?

I think I ment to say that windows really isn't an OS, nor a GUI. It is both combinded into 1 with some kind of engine support for other software, and I don't think it is entirely graphical either...

I don't know what my point was... but that is what I think i was saying...


The best apearnt problem now is that most programming languages compile to run off of an existing OS (And more times then not, the graphical side is off of windows(instead of DOS or a Command Prompt OS), so does that mean I would actually have to start with ASM? Or Would it have to start in binary...

When I first started with basic, I made my own "os" actually It was just a QB program feeding dos commands into dos (lol), but it was kinda fun. Now I can pick 1 out of a thousand languages (no, I am not saying I know a thousand languages) and do the same thing. Problem is it is still feeding into dos.

Looks at upper post again... Man, how about I just delete that thing?

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Jeku
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Posted: 24th Jan 2006 06:40
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Quote: "I think I ment to say that windows really isn't an OS, nor a GUI."


You are very, very wrong. Must you keep making ignorant OS statements without backup? You think Windows still runs off of DOS? DOS is an operating system!

Oh for pete's sake you really need to read up what makes an OS an "OS".


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Les Horribres
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Posted: 24th Jan 2006 21:50
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Jeku, this is really getting annoying. So I will answer you with quotes and explanations that are blatanly obvious for someone with an intelectual state of mind. In fact, I will try to dumb'n it up some more so you can understand what I am saying.

You think Windows still runs off of DOS?
Quote: "most programming languages compile to run off of an existing OS, the graphical side is off of windows(instead of DOS or a Command Prompt OS)"

No where does this say "windows runs off of dos". It says that some languages graphics runs off of windows, and not dos.

DOS is an operating system!
Quote: "(instead of DOS or a Command Prompt OS)"

Once again, this does not say DOS is not an OS, it is missing a word ("other"), but you could infer it anyways. Since this may be beyond your current Intelectual Capacity, I will once again show you the blantantly obvious.
"instead of DOS or an other Command Prompt OS"

Quote: "Oh for pete's sake you really need to read up what makes an OS an "OS"."

The Really Dumbed up Version:
An OS sends STUFF to the BIOS and gets STUFF back.

And for the qoute you quoted that had no relevance to your post
Quote: "I think I ment to say that windows really isn't an OS, nor a GUI."

Is a fragment of the quote, when you fragment a quote and remove the meaningful parts you get a meaningless quote. Thus, you have created fodder for a fire that has long gone out.

Quote: "I think I ment to say that windows really isn't an OS, nor a GUI. It is both combinded into 1 with some kind of engine support for other software, and I don't think it is entirely graphical either..."

Once again, a few errors, but nothing the well trained mind can't handle. And to once again help those who do not comprehend such simple words.
Windows can't be classified as an OS or a GUI because it preforms the job of both.

Now PLEASE make some more remarks that have nothing to do with anything. More then 50% of above post was a QUESTION, you ignored that half, and just insulted me. And made remarks that do not make sense. But I have the feeling that you like thinking of me as an inferrior rodent. So if you must, you may ignore the ABOVE context and read this substitute.

[Stupid Post]
DUUHHH, Windowz izn't no os, itz a IDE!!! Yeah, it Interfaces... stuff... and DUHHH windoz no run off DO's it runz off CHEEZE!!! DUHHH...

WHY r u tlln me to RED? B00k is STUPID! I dont need no BOOK, jus giv me teh CODZ. Thou I dont no why I want CODZ... Who needs CODZ? Games jus mak tem SELVS! DUHH...
[/Stupid Post]

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David T
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Posted: 24th Jan 2006 23:21
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Quote: "The Really Dumbed up Version:
An OS sends STUFF to the BIOS and gets STUFF back."


Isn't the bios's role in bootup? Doesn't windows deal directly with the CPU?

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Jeku
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Posted: 25th Jan 2006 02:46
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Those were TWO different points I was making. I will split it up for you on different lines (so you can understand).

Quote: "You think Windows still runs off of DOS?"


This is what you had said in more words or less but it seems you have edited your post and made it blank so I can't reference it quote for quote.

Next time I'll make sure to quote everything you say before my rebuttal so you can put 2 and 2 together.

Quote: "DOS is an operating system!"


This was in reference to you saying that Windows is neither an OS or a GUI (whatever you mean by that). All I was doing here was that I wanted to point out that DOS is an operating system in itself (because you said Windows runs off of DOS, but again since you removed your post, I can't quote).

However, I know that Windows does *NOT* run off of DOS (and hasn't since Win ME).

Quote: "Is a fragment of the quote, when you fragment a quote and remove the meaningful parts you get a meaningless quote. Thus, you have created fodder for a fire that has long gone out."


Okay, well the rest of your sentence does not backup your claim that Windows is neither OS nor GUI either. Next time, like I said, I'll quote your ENTIRE message before my response, okay?

And no, and OS isn't just:

Quote: "An OS sends STUFF to the BIOS and gets STUFF back."


Perhaps it's YOU that needs the dumbed down version of what an OS is.

An OS deals directly with some or all of the hardware in your computer. It takes software at a high level and allows it to "talk" to the hardware at a low level. It manages your system resources, and protects the hardware from dangerous programs (i.e. WinNT/2k/XP kernel has a hardware abstraction layer missing from Win 9x, an extra layer which increases stability and a chief reason why they don't crash as often).


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Les Horribres
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Posted: 25th Jan 2006 22:55
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Quote: "Please Ignore that post, I had a migrane and posted 30% dumber then I normally do... Question is, how do I normally post? Wait... Did I just insult myself?

I think I ment to say that windows really isn't an OS, nor a GUI. It is both combinded into 1 with some kind of engine support for other software, and I don't think it is entirely graphical either...

I don't know what my point was... but that is what I think i was saying...


The best apearnt problem now is that most programming languages compile to run off of an existing OS (And more times then not, the graphical side is off of windows(instead of DOS or a Command Prompt OS), so does that mean I would actually have to start with ASM? Or Would it have to start in binary...

When I first started with basic, I made my own "os" actually It was just a QB program feeding dos commands into dos (lol), but it was kinda fun. Now I can pick 1 out of a thousand languages (no, I am not saying I know a thousand languages) and do the same thing. Problem is it is still feeding into dos.

Looks at upper post again... Man, how about I just delete that thing?"


This Post? The other post was 2 hours BEFORE you posted.


And the part of windows not being a OS or a GUI but more as both was at Undercover Noob. I forgot the reason why, I was just explaining what I ment to David T. My previous post was soo disorganized that I just deleted it rather then try to explain what I ment.

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Les Horribres
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Posted: 25th Jan 2006 23:00
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And Sorry That I didn't put this in the first post, but as you slapped me (at least I think it is you) I can't edit it, as I normally do when I miss-something.

When the BIOS' function was explained to me, they failed to distingish the difference between the booting period and the post boot period. So there, you are right.

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