Alright mate, prepare yourself for some harsh critism - I could just toss off some random stuff and say 'oh, that's nice, good work', but no. You're the kind of chap that'll want to be doing this business properly, so I'm gonna review this like it was a song submission to the amateur music scene.
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[.general] a nice start at a tech track, but no...
[.melody] Ahm not bad, it's rather standard techno fare but it's actually done well. Thumbs up for making a decent synth line, but jeez dude, did you have to smack that huge autopan on every one of those synth tracks?? Really sucks when you listen with headphones. Big minus there. Like I said, they're done well, but that autopan completely ruins it. Get rid of it, it's useless in this case. The squeeky lead thing halfway through - too loud/too much presence.
[.bass] the big wobbly synth line sorta takes care of this, but I'd suggest stacking the track up with a subbass of some sort - a raw sine wave will do in a pinch, just make sure it's nice and deep.
[.percussion] Errr....
no beats. Bad bad bad. Thiz is techno man gimmie teh beatz!!11!eleventwelve
[.feeling] Sounds like a start at a techno track, but really... it's so... empty. "You can't blame the computer, you can't say 'but there's no soul to the music,' because if there's no soul to the music, that's because nobody put it there."
[.ways to improve]
a) get a techno beat in there, anything will do, standard four to the floor, make it nice and punchy.
b) smack some reverb on those synth tracks!
c) ...and some overdrive if you feel like it.
d) get some subby f.content in there
e) stick a stereo delay on the chirpy lead
d) more progessions, atm it's just a couple of loops playing for a minute or whatever. Some more structure, etc. etc.
[.score] 4/10 - below average
(but keep in mind that average is probably less-average-y than you might suspect)
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Look, dude, I know this sounds harsh... I'll probably be flamed like no tomrrow for putting up that review. But keep in mind, I'm being as fair as possible. If that were submitted to a place like ctgmusic, or garageband, or internetdj, or whatever, you'd probably get the same thing--only much blunter and much harsher. Have faith!
"Everybody falls the first jump.." And you'll get much better, trust me. Just hang in there and don't give up!
I am but mad north north-west; when the wind is southerly I know a hawk from a handsaw - Hamlet, Hamlet