on the issue of appearance:
1) if you want to create your own style, you have to write your own controls as well as classes to handle window paint events (for things like the _[]X buttons).
2) if you just want it to match the current o/s, just compile it and run it on whatever o/s you like. i develop on 2000 at work and xp at home and have no interface appearance problems from machine to machine (i.e. compiled on XP looks like 2000 when running on 2000 and compiled on 2000 looks like XP when running on XP.)
3) if you're wanting to make any app look like the standard windows XP interface, regardless of OS, see answer number 1.
btw...MSDN is your friend. i learned this the long, painful way. i would venture to say that learning how to efficiently use MSDN is just as important as understanding MFC. once you figure out where the main (important) parts of MSDN are stuffed into, and how to generate effective results from the searches, you're flying.
-= i only do what my rice krispies tell me to do =-