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Geek Culture / stopping bodies from smelling

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Pricey
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Posted: 26th Jul 2006 17:23
any ideas?
i need an answer to this.
quick!

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indi
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Posted: 26th Jul 2006 17:28
taxidermists prefer phamaldahide to stop the smelly action.

as a side note it works really well for very smelly feet.

this has to be the weirdest post ever.

Nicholas Thompson
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Posted: 26th Jul 2006 17:28
Showers? Deoderant?

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Benjamin
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Posted: 26th Jul 2006 17:28 Edited at: 26th Jul 2006 17:29
Put him in the fridge and hope the police don't get hungry.

Edit: sorry I thought you meant a dead person.

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Megaton Cat
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Posted: 26th Jul 2006 17:31
Eat it, then you won't smell anything.


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Benjamin
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Posted: 26th Jul 2006 17:32
I doubt he'll be able to eat it all in a very short time, and judging by the urgency of his post, the police are on their way already.

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indi
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Posted: 26th Jul 2006 17:35
egyption embalming perhaps?

however it requires you to poke the brain until it turns into a gooey mess from the nasal cavity, then roll over the body and let the juice flow.

special salt from the region will also preserve it.

I dont want to know or ask anymore.

Zaibatsu
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Posted: 26th Jul 2006 17:37
mummify body! first, take out organs, then drown in salt for a few weeks, and fill body with salt. when completely dry, use lots of spices such as ginger, cinnamon, and for modern-day sake, AXE spray! then wrap body in linen

Read my profile to learn about all my wierd fanaticacies...

CattleRustler
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Posted: 26th Jul 2006 17:39
crushed limestone, available in any gardening/home improvement store.



Science, Mathematics, and Physics do not lie - only people do.
SpyDaniel
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Posted: 26th Jul 2006 17:47
Pricey, Ive called the police, they are coming to check your home out for dead bodies. Ive told them to look in the walls and under the floor boards.
Dazzag
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Posted: 26th Jul 2006 20:27
I heard something the other day on the BBC (so it must be true!) that said sweat itself doesn't actually smell. But when it gets on to clothes and sort of solidifies then this smells. This then gets back on your skin too and everything smells. So basically keep your clothes clean and don't wear the same thing twice before washing it. Obviously this totally covers turning your pants (underwear, not trousers) inside out after a few weeks.

Cheers

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adr
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Posted: 26th Jul 2006 20:39
I remember hearing a slightly different version, Dazzag.

Fresh sweat doesn't smell - I mean, it has an odour, but it's not objectionable. As sweat grows stale, bacteria form and it's the presence of bacteriea that makes it smell.

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Oneka
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Posted: 26th Jul 2006 20:46
Eat it...


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Oh yeah and just so you know its Oh-nek-a not One-ka!
Dazzag
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Posted: 26th Jul 2006 20:51
Quote: "Fresh sweat doesn't smell - I mean, it has an odour, but it's not objectionable. As sweat grows stale, bacteria form and it's the presence of bacteriea that makes it smell"
I watched the daytime TV version, but in a nutshell it means don't wear your clothes more than once before washing them.

Cheers

I am 99% probably lying in bed right now... so don't blame me for crappy typing
Fallout
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Posted: 26th Jul 2006 21:20
Cut off the noses of everyone in a 10 mile radius. Extent the boundaries if the smell is particularly potent.

Sid Sinister
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Posted: 26th Jul 2006 21:21
Vodka. No joke. Mythbusters did a show on it and if you soak your feet in vodka it makes the smell go away lol. Vokda with cinnimon do the same thing (takes a while to make).

Your not french are you? If you are I'd have to introduce you to deoderant and air conditioning...
Benjamin
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Posted: 26th Jul 2006 21:29
I don't see what the problem is. Dead people can't smell anything anyway.

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Matt Rock
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Posted: 26th Jul 2006 21:36
Pigs! You need a Pig Farm! GAWD, I can't possibly be the only person here whose seen "Snatch" -- it's a great movie and Bricktop (a character in the movie) goes to great lengths to explain how to get rid of a corpse. "Tony... Look in the dog" <-- classic line from cinematic history folks. Go rent that movie and it'll solve all of your problems. Quick... before "Ze Germans" get here.


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Megaton Cat
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Posted: 26th Jul 2006 22:04
Quote: " if you soak your feet in vodka it makes the smell go away lol."


The smell of bad feet or vodka?


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Dazzag
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Posted: 26th Jul 2006 22:26
Quote: "Pigs!"
You seen Deadwood? They practically feed someone to the pigs every week (including that cute bird who plays Veronica Mars one time). Bone crunching noises too on occasion. Oh, and I've finally got over the amazing fact that Lovejoy is saying the "C" word all the time. That and the fact that you have to admit to not understanding half of what is said. Almost as bad as bloody Shakespear... in a massively vulgar kind of way...

Cheers

I am 99% probably lying in bed right now... so don't blame me for crappy typing
Oddmind
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Posted: 26th Jul 2006 22:49
if you do the vodka thing and you can still smell it, try drinking the vodka/foot juice i garuntee you wont be able to smell for a month or two.

formerly KrazyJimmy

Prayers for rain...
Matt Rock
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Posted: 26th Jul 2006 22:56
Quote: "You seen Deadwood? They practically feed someone to the pigs every week (including that cute bird who plays Veronica Mars one time). Bone crunching noises too on occasion. "

"Wu! Swear-gen! San Fran-siskcuh ****sucka!!!" LOL I love Deadwood (only the deadwood fans will appreciate that hehe) I've actually been to the real-life Deadwood during the big trip last summer/ fall I always blabber about. It's cool to see but I feel like it gave away a lot of where the show is headed in the next few seasons. Have no fear, I won't ruin it for you as well But it's neat, they have gunfights with blanks in the streets hehe. I like how vulgar the show is That show is solid proof that you can have an intelligent conversation using as much vulgarity as humanly possible


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OSX Using Happy Dude
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Posted: 26th Jul 2006 23:06 Edited at: 26th Jul 2006 23:08
If the body is dead, if I were you, I would get busy with a shovel... And dont forget to hide all the evidence...

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CattleRustler
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Posted: 27th Jul 2006 00:02
Quote: "hide all the evidence"

no, destroy all the evidence, including the body, thats what the lime was for, it gets rid of everything.

hidden evidence can be found.

Anyway, thats how this killa rolls - peace!

Science, Mathematics, and Physics do not lie - only people do.
Dazzag
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Posted: 27th Jul 2006 00:05
Quote: "only the deadwood fans will appreciate that hehe"
Yeah, he is a great character Most funny when his competition came to town.

Quote: "Have no fear, I won't ruin it for you as well "
I knew some of the history anyhows, but the first thing we did once we got hooked on the story in first series was look up all of the real history. Took us a while to realise that each series is only a month or so in real time.

Quote: "That show is solid proof that you can have an intelligent conversation using as much vulgarity as humanly possible "
Not really. Now a develoment department in a software house is even more solid proof. Much more intelligent conversations (count the TLAs and play w**kwords bingo!) with much more vulgar conversion, mixed in with lines from the comedy show of the moment (Monty Python, Father Ted, Fast Show, Jam, and more recently Monkey dust and Modern Toss being good examples) is what you will experience. I have very interesting days. Wrapped around the odd bit of work of course.

Cheers

I am 99% probably lying in bed right now... so don't blame me for crappy typing
Pricey
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Posted: 27th Jul 2006 00:27
its okay i sorted it thanks for the help guys!

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Dazzag
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Posted: 27th Jul 2006 00:32
Sorted what out?

Cheers

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Mattman
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Posted: 27th Jul 2006 00:46
He bought his very own first stick of deoderant!

Why make sense when you could make brownies?
Oddmind
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Posted: 27th Jul 2006 00:56
aaaawwwww are little forum dwellers is growing up!

formerly KrazyJimmy

Prayers for rain...
TKF15H
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Posted: 27th Jul 2006 00:59
Congrats on killing your first cat.

Jeff Miller
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Posted: 27th Jul 2006 02:41
Sid Sinister is on the right track. John Paul Jones was buried in a metal casket filled with whiskey, and stayed that way many years. He was later dug up and is now reposing in the basement of the chapel at Anapolis, and, well, doesn't appear to be smelling bad.
Mnemonix
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Posted: 27th Jul 2006 03:37
I sure hope it was nobody I know

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indi
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Posted: 27th Jul 2006 03:52
poor raven

Sid Sinister
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Posted: 27th Jul 2006 04:49
Lol, I didn't know my vodka idea went that far. John Paul Jones huh? Now thats funny!

Another possibility. Go into that oval tub like thing thats in the same room as your toilet that has a water emmiting device about 6 feet from the ground and turn the faucets to the left. After that, get in (without your clothes on, don't forget about your socks!) and apply that square bar of matter all over your body.

Just trust me on that one, it works .
Jeku
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Posted: 27th Jul 2006 08:27
There actually *was* a pig farmer serial killer arrested in the city here recently--- the largest serial killer conviction in Canada. So yah--- if it worked for him, then that's the best route.

But since you already got rid of the problem then don't listen to me.


"I understand creative people. After all, I worked with towel designers." - Ray Kassar, former head of Atari
Matt Rock
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Posted: 27th Jul 2006 10:43
Wu is the best Deadwood character imo, him and Charlie Utter because he's so god-aweful nuts I learned a horrible truth though... they don't actually film the show in Deadwood South Dakota. The streets are paved and all that. I asked people where they filmed the show and everyone looked at me funny as if they hadn't heard of it, that or they were annoyed because so many people have asked already lol.

Funny pseudo-interesting story. My girlfriend and I went into a saloon said to be the bar where Wild Bill Hickok was killed. They have these mannequins set up depicting the scene, and while we were taking pictures, I noticed I was standing on a metal plate on the floor. Sharyn and I looked at it, and as creepy as it was, I was standing on the exact spot where he was shot and killed. We took a picture of our feet on the metal plaque on the floor... pretty cool.

Quote: "There actually *was* a pig farmer serial killer arrested in the city here recently--- the largest serial killer conviction in Canada. So yah--- if it worked for him, then that's the best route."

I'm not surprised, I figured it must've happened in real life because there've been so many pop culture references to it, like in the afforementioned Snatch and Deadwood. Creepy. Can't crime scene investigators find leftover human remains? It doesn't seem like the smartest way to get rid of a body hehe, not with modern anti-crime technology anyway.




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OSX Using Happy Dude
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Posted: 27th Jul 2006 11:10 Edited at: 27th Jul 2006 11:26
Quote: "no, destroy all the evidence, including the body"

Good point!

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Van B
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Posted: 27th Jul 2006 11:20
Pah, the stole the idea from 'Hannibal' IMO.

Snatch definately stole it, but then it stole most of it's plot from other films anyway (Soz but Lock Stock is infinately better).

In Hannibal, Mason Verger own a pig farm, and plans to feed Lecter to the pigs, feet first, the farmer goes into detail about how much meat they can consume (in the book at least), it's practically a direct rip, just add a cockney accent and a cup of bludy tea and you have a brit gangster movie. They end up befriending Lecter (pigs love serial killers it seems), and Mason's sister throws Mason to the piggies instead (after Lecter tells her to simply blame him!). It's a better book than it is a film, they left out Masons sister completely in the movie, which is stupid because it left Mason with no contrasting character. He's actually quite like 'Yellow Bastard' from Sin City, but the movie fails to illustrate this (like a demented spoilt kid who got pwnd and is now even more demented and disfigured to boot).

I'd go for a bath of acid, just let sit for a week or so then drain away - after taking care of those troublesome teeth of course...

Aegrescit medendo
Matt Rock
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Posted: 27th Jul 2006 11:38
I loved Lock Stock too ("Lock Stock & Two Smoking Barrels" -- if you haven't seen it, GO RENT IT RIGHT NOW, it's a classic Guy Ritchie flick)... it's always fun to watch Vinnie Jones slam a guy's head in a car door repeatedly Snatch though has some pretty awesome lines in it though, arguably more than Lock Stock had. Especially...

- "Do you know what "nemesis" means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by a horrible ****... me." - Bricktop

Avi: Tony.
Tony: What?
Avi: Look in the dog.
Tony: What do you mean, "Look in the dog"?
Avi: I mean open him up.
Tony: That's a bit strong! It's not a ****ing tin of baked beans! What do you mean "open him up"?

- "No Tommy... it's tip-top" (about the Caravan)

- "Sturdy, reliable, heavy... if it doesn't work you can always hit him with it" (Boris the Blade)

- "What does it look like? I'm drivin' down the street with your head in my window." (Tony to that goofy kid from Trainspotting)

- Anything out of Brad Pitt, probably because you can't understand anything he's saying lol

Tony: Boris the Blade? As in Boris the Bullet-Dodger?
Avi: Why do they call him the Bullet-Dodger?
Tony: 'Cause he dodges bullets, Avi.

- "You could park a jumbo ****ing jet in there!"

- "Whose gonna rob two black fellas, holding pistols, in a car worth less than your shirt?!?"

* And who can forget Bullet-Tooth Tony's best line, and probably the most famous line Vinnie Jones has ever or will ever say:*
- "And the fact that your guns say 'replica' down the sides (R-E-P-L-I-C-A), and that mine says 'Desert Eagle, .50' (D-E-S-E-R-T...), should precipitate your ****s into shrinking, along with your presence."

CLASSIC, one of my favorite movies, hehe


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Matt Rock
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Posted: 27th Jul 2006 17:40
Wow Fighting Spirit, way to read most of the posts in the thread hehe sorry, had to You missed us talking about Deadwood/ Snatch/ Hannibal and real-life cases of pigs eating dead humans.


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Matt Rock
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Posted: 27th Jul 2006 19:44
Someone on TGC is talking about disposing of dead corpses. How is that not interesting! lol


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Megaton Cat
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Posted: 27th Jul 2006 19:51
Technically, he never said "dead" bodies, but just bodies. As someone already mentioned, I think a shower is in order.


New Catfolio.net coming soon!
Dazzag
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Posted: 27th Jul 2006 20:45 Edited at: 27th Jul 2006 20:45
Ok, so what we've moved on from mass murder to slavery now? Typical.... Oh ang on, unless you mean.... hmmmm...

Cheers

I am 99% probably lying in bed right now... so don't blame me for crappy typing
Matt Rock
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Posted: 27th Jul 2006 21:40
He's showering corpses? Oh man, now I'm confused! All this time I thought he'd caught his significant other messing around with the mail man and he was trying to dispose of murder evidence!


"In an interstellar burst, I'm back to save the universe"
Dazzag
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Posted: 27th Jul 2006 21:46
What, so he is animating zombie corpses by showering them with his own filth (hence the need for deoderant)? Then he is enslaving them and hiring them out to companies to further undermine the IT industry once they run out of people in India to sell us out to? And whats that you say? These mutant animated zombies are striking back at the FilthMaster by chucking him where.... down the well Skippy? Is that what you are trying to say boy?...

Cheers

I am 99% probably lying in bed right now... so don't blame me for crappy typing
Matt Rock
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Posted: 28th Jul 2006 17:00
Oh my god Daz you're on to something here! Dang it! Everyone on TGC beware: If you smell something gross in your residence or place of employment, evacuate immediately and contact the Ghost Busters. And PLEASE: If his army of zombie-geeks attacks you, turn your attention to the Zombie documentary film "Shawn of the Dead," to learn how to kill zombies (smash the head or destroy the brain)!


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indi
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Posted: 28th Jul 2006 17:02
mutant zombie filth ridden kangaroos, now there is a hollywood blockbuster

Matt Rock
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Posted: 28th Jul 2006 18:21
They could keep skulls filled with beer in their pouches!


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