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DO
rem scroll bar
print "Welcome to MommaJokes2"
print
print "Press any key to continue."
suspend for key
cls 


Input "Enter number 1-34:",word$
cls
print
   
rem momma jokes
	if word$="1" then print "yo momma so fat i went to go watch the never ending story and she walked by and i missed the whole thing"
	if word$="2" then print "yo momma so ugly she looked out the window and got aressted for mooning"
   if word$="3" then print "yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and died of starvation"
   if word$="4" then print "yo momma so stupid she tripped over a cordless phone"
   if word$="5" then print "yo momma so stupid she sat on the TV and watched the couch"
   if word$="6" then print "yo momma so fat i didnt just sit by her the whole class did" 
   if word$="7" then print "yo momma so fat she stood on the scale and it said wait limit exeded"
   if word$="8" then print "yo momma so nasty she gave me a virus"
   if word$="9" then print "yo momma so ugly she looked in the mirror and her own image flicked her off"
   if word$="10" then print "yo momma so stupid because when someone said superbowl she went and got a spoon"
   if word$="11" then print "yo momma so stupid she got ran over by a parked car twice"
   if word$="12" then print "yo momma so fat she jumped in the ocean and the whales popped out and started singing we are family"
   if word$="13" then print "yo momma is so fat her blood type is ragu"
   if word$="14" then print "yo momma is so stupid she cooks with old spice"
   if word$="15" then print "yo momma is so stupid that when someone says it's chilly outside, she runs into the kitchen to fetch a bowl"
   if word$="16" then print "yo momma is so fat that when she wears a yellow raincoat, people shouttaxi!"
   if word$="17" then print "yo momma is so old her national insurance number is 1"
   if word$="18" then print "yo momma is so fat the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs"
   if word$="19" then print "yo momma is so fat that when she cut her leg, gravy poured out"
   if word$="20" then print "yo momma is so ugly that when she goes to a strip club, they pay her to put her clothes on"
   if word$="21" then print "yo momma is so fat she has to iron her underwear in the road"
   if word$="22" then print "yo mommas teeth are so yellow traffic slows down when she smiles"
   if word$="23" then print "yo mommas teeth are so yellow i can't believe it's not butter"
   if word$="24" then print  "Yo momma so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes      Yo momma so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th."
   if word$="25" then print  "Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too."
   if word$="26" then print  "Yo momma so fat she fell in love and broke it."
   if word$="27" then print  "Yo momma so fat, when god said Let there be light, she had to move first."
   if word$="28" then print  "Yo momma so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!"
   if word$="29" then print  "Yo momma so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the her good side!"
   if word$="30" then print  "Yo momma so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes."
   if word$="31" then print  "Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!"
   if word$="32" then print  "Yo momma so stupid that she sold the car for gas money."
   if word$="33" then print  "Yo momma so stupid that under "Education" on her job apllication, she put "Hooked on Phonics."
   if word$="34" then print  "Yo momma so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes"

LOOP