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To all people at the Game Creators.

Firstly, this is incredibly hard for me to write, and I regret that I have taken this long to build the courage to write to you all, however it is not as cut and dry as many people would assume. I fully understand that people's attitudes towards me here are entirely my own doing, and that posting a note here earlier would really have helped. I know people would have understood and my disspearing with little or no contact was a stupid and selfish thing to do. I am truly sorry.

Please forgive any spelling mistakes or errors in this, I don't think I'll have the strength to re-read it after I type it, I'm welling up just at the thought of wondering where to start.

Today is the first time I plucked up the courage to re-visit the TGC Forums, and I saw many people speculate that I was dead. To be honest, thats close to the truth, emotionally and spiritually at least. I don't wish to dwell, but the last year has been an incredibly difficult one, and if it was not for the love and support of my wife and children I am sure I would not be here right now typing this, as the last year has seen some of the darkest ever times of my life, and for a while I felt that there was no chance of ever pulling myself out of it. I don't know if any of you have ever been manically clinically depressed but it alone can be crippling. Combined with the illness I was already suffering, I have spent many months almnost completely unsure of myself or what was going on. A whole ton of bad luck and bad timing took me down to this level, and whilst I appreciate most will not want to hear personal details and sob stories, I shall attempt to right the wrongs that I have committed, whether or not I did them intentionally.

The Quikly product range was and still is one very close to my heart. As many people know I was working on it for many years. I was also an active participant in the DBPro forums for many years also, even being a mod for a period. I feel that the TGC community are both colleagues and friends and the 30 or so active participants in the forums I personally set up for quikly are some of the best, most honest and most loyal people I've ever met online. Every day I was humbled by the support. Words can not describe the guilt that I feel about the decline of that website and the products, and I am totally devastated that it all caved in around my feet. I am here to try and explain why it happenned (no excuses) and see what I can do to fix things.

Essentially the product was 90% ready for a launch on launch day. An early beta version was available for people to download, and purchasers were sent their boxed packages with a download execeute to get the very latest version apon install, along with their own security codes. I did this because I was very proud of the product but also wary of a small release and then full copies getting leaked, hense why the product was to download of a secure sever with a password. Put simply, the final download files were never uploaded even though they were ready, and this is why.

I had been having problems in the leading few months with severe illness, and memory loss/temporarily being entirely mentally dull and loosing hours, sometimes days. I put this down to flus, getting older and the effects of my wreckless previous lifestyle as a teenager, but, as I explained on the forums, I was diagnosed as severely Hypo-Thyroid and had been for some time, which was severly affecting my physical and mental health. I think on finding out about this, I didn't take it seriously enough. I felt relieved that this explained my symptoms and the problems I had been having, and the fact that I would be reliant on medicine for the rest of my life was a comfort to me as I felt it would stabalise this and "fix" me, simply by taking the tablets. Unfortunately thats far from the reality of the situation, about a year or so later and they still haven't managed to work out exactly how much thyroxine I should be taking, I have been everywhere between 200 and 50 micrograms a day, with blood tests every few weeks to test whether I need more or less. I can tell you now that when switching doses, it takes at least a week for my body to adjust, for those 7 or so days I am completely not myslef and have little idea as to time, only barely being conscious fro a strange dr4eam like feeling. The nhs in their infinite wisdom also managed to over perscribe me for nearly 2 months leaving my actually hyper-thyroid, and I can tell you right now that its by far the worst experience I have ever had. I was constantly going from crying hysterically for no real reason, to putting my fist through doors, and was constantly wishing death upon myself mentally. I can not decribed how it feels but its equal to the feel of panic whilst being sick and your eyes go red and you can't see and your entire body is wretching, only happenning 24 hours a day with a woodpecker hammering inside your head. I am sure that without the support of my wife (who I'm sure contemplated divorce several times, and I would not have blamed her) I am sure I would be dead right now, I truly saw no way out. As I type my dose has just been altered yet again, starting tomorrow, but they hope that this will be the last time, I can only hope that they are correct, as I'm starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Unfortunately, the above problems are not the only ones I have been dealing with. Just before the launch I had a lot of problems with suppliers, equipment failure etc and put myself into debt and considerable stress to buy new equipment and remake everything myself from scratch. This was not fun to say the least but I felt that it was the best way, as I was so sure about the product I had, that I knew it was worth investing the money. Unfortuntely in February I was hit with a terrible shock - a tax bill for several thousand pounds, apparantly due to miscalculations in my benefits and tx credits for a period where I was temporarily unemployed and joined the New Deal scheme, I honestly did not know of any problem and instantly panicked as to how to pay this money, especially with all our credit cards and overdrafts maxed out. Over the 6 months or so before the release of Quikly, I had fallen behind on my paperwork, simply as I could not cope with concentrating on it all at once, after a busy programming/panicking session I simply could hardly read and would often fall asleep infront of my desk. However I always saw the release date as a metarphorical light at the end of the tunnel, and hoped that once that was sorted I could relax and get everything back in order. Unfortunatley what I did not take into account was that there would be problems with things out of my control. Due to the ongoing tax credit investigation, the percentage fo my rent and concil tax being coverred (about 25%) was not getting paid, and my rent and council tax were both, unknowingly to me getting further and further into arrears. I only realised this when I finally got a phonecall from my housing officers saying they were very sorry but since I hadn't paid my arrears they would have to ask me to either pay in full, or move out. Obviously I had no idea what they were talking about, and rushed in to talk to them face to face and try and sort out what had been going on. With them we managed to get in contact with the relevant people, and they gave us a month to sort our paperwork out and told us to get in contact with the West Somerset Advice bureau who would help us.

Of course all of this stress and confusion in my state of mind really didn't help and I went into a state of severe shock and manic depression, completely withdrqawing into myslef and finding it almost imnpossible to even get out of bed or talk to my wife. Eventually through forcing myself through many extremely stressful, tiring and expensive (bus fares etc) meetings we managed to get most of my paperwork in order, and at least placate the owners of our property that our rent was now being paid in full. However this still left many arrears in both rent and council tax as well as the other remaining tax problems. I was forced to sell most of my possessions including my arcade cabinets, retro games collection, consoles and my pc, downgrading instead to a very basic model, capable of running cabase in my studio (my only source of income/my job) but not capable of running 3d applications or games.

Of course this left the matter of Quikly, and it was on my mind. I asked a friend to upload the final versions and gave him all my passwords etc, and although he assured me he would do it, and then that he HAD done it, its only thourgh phonecalls from Quikly pruchasers that I worked out that he hadn't. I tried to get things sorted and appealled for help, and 3 a group of three friends said that they would (for a share of the profits) take on the Quikly project, updating the websites, bug fixing the program etc until I was healthy enough and had enough capital and time to take back over the reigns. They also cleared one of my major bills and told me not to worry and get better. I then tried to concentrate on recorvery, but being in debt is hard, especially being I was in no real fit state to work. I cut down to just 2 clients a week for my studio, and made sure it was only simple work such as recording a vocal on top of a karaoke track. I felt the lwoest I ever remember feeling, completely emotionally lifeless and the little work I did (combined with the stress, depression and dosage problems) managed to physically exhaust me enough to put me almost out of action for a couple of days, it really was a living hell, especially with the added strain and guilt of trying to act natural around my children whilst explaining that daddy was to tired or busy to play with them.

Every now and then I would attempt to log on to email people and let them know what was going on, but the sheer site of openning my inbox to find it literally full of thousands of emails, killing my bandwidth and crashing the pc almost everytime was too much of a problem. I attempted several times to log on to the forums and post an explanation and apology, but the sheer site of many angry posts which I couldn't help but notice filling the boards literally made me well up and cry and I had to turn the computer off. I appreciate this was cowardly but I was trying to concentrate on getting better and figured that the new guys I had entrusted Quikly to would update everyone of my progress for me. I eventually wrote a note very similar to this one as an open letter to the TGC community and wishing the new guys good luck with the project, and posted it to them asking them to post it on the website, along with some suggested additions I had.

Time went by and I realsied that they simply hadn't kept their word, and the Quikly website had not been updated or changed. I tried to contact them by phone and got no reply, eventually going to their houses to be told they'd "gone back to university". I tried loggin into the website through FTP to update it myself and found they'd changed teh passwords. A month or so later the website dissapeared completely online and I found that they had not continued to pay the monthly hosting fees as they had originally said they would. A few weeks later I finally managed to get ahold of one of them on their mobile and they told me that they had found "several large problems" with my source code that they didn't think were fixable, and had essentially given up. Infact, he asked for his share pf the money back. I asked if I could have the control back of Quikly and he essentially said that the only way I could get permission to use my source code and site etc back was to repay the money they originally paid. I couldn't afford to do this and resorted instead to trying to take the matter through small claims court. However keeping abreast of all these developments, paperwork etc was really hit and miss and taking it out on me, and I'm sure I made more of a mess of it than I could have.

I started to issue Quikly buyers with refunds, as I felt that that was the only way to redeem myself. I had no cash, as all money coming in was going to pay my debts. I had only enough paypal money to refund two buyers, but started selling off some old dvds and videos I had left over on ebay via paypal, and figured I would refund buyers one at a time as I got enough. In a bid to cut costs, I sent them out by standard parcels. Many people complained that they never arrived, which was probably a combination of my ilnness slowing me down and the delays associated with standard parcels anyway, but the crux of it is I ended up with paypal giving refunds to the vast majority of people woh bought, even though I had already sent the items, meaning not only had I lost the items, AND the postage money, I lost all the money I made from selling them too - so ended off wrose off than I started, and my paypal account and ebay account were frozen. Of course the stress and upset from this made things even worse, and within a week tings got even worse.

I never like to drag personal family business and other people's problems into my own battles, but suffice it to say that my mother (who lives many miles away from me) has been in and out of hospital for 5 different opereations in the last 9 months, and my uncle (who has children and runs a farm) has suffered a serious stroke leaving him paralised down one side. I've tried to put my own problems out of my head as much as possible and travel round the country on the few days off I can to help, but its tiring and train and bus fairs are practically unaffordable in my position.

I'm sorry to wallow but essentially what I'm trying to say is the last year has been hell. Its only really starting to look more promising. As I said I've (hopefully) now had the last of my dosage changes, so my health should become more stable, The bills are starting to get paid now (although I'm still several thosand pounds in debt now due to credit card and overdraft charges) and I'm hoping to be able to start working more regular hours in the new year, all being well. life is (only just) becoming manageable. I feel like I've climbed to the top of a very steep hill, and I'm just about to reach the top, hopefully there will be no last hurdle.

I've hardly managed to come online at all in the last year for obvious reasons. However, I've managed to have a few relaxing days, making sure I had Xmas eve, xmas day and boxing day to myself to relax with my family and start to get our lives into perspective and back on track. I'm hoping to repay my debt to the uni guys and re-gain legal control of Quikly. And I promise that the DAY that that happens I will try my damned hardest to come online, and do what I always said I would do under the circumstances, and release the source code for all people to use, as well as re-compiling and uploading that damned exe file that should have been there all those bloody months ago. If I sound slightly bitter, I am. But not at you guys, you guys are fantastic. Once I have proper control of my finaces I'm going to personally make sure that I send a personal letter and cheque to every one of you apologising and refunding you, and the Quikly suite that I made will be free and open source for the whole community.

As for the future of this project? Well there's many ideas I wanted to implement. Many new features that have sprung into my mind. Much new technology on the horizon such as Direct X 10, Vista, and new GPUS that may change the face of pc gaming and software un-recognisably. I'm sure at some point, when my mental health has fully recoverred, I'll be back here, programming again, and making a newer, better, even more amazing games creation system - but that time round I'll learn from my mistakes - all betas will be free and open as I make them, and I'll never accept any money until I'm 100% sure its finished, and I have the final product in my hand. Perhaps I was foolish in my approach, but I truly never meant to hurt anyone. I'm not asking for pity, FAR from it. Just perhaps a little understanding, and time to right my wrongs.

I'm so glad to see that TGC is still going and getting stronger by the day. I truly look forward to the day when I can humbly return to you all as my good old self, and if not erase, at least diminish the memory of the past year,

All the very best wishes for the new year, and so many apologies, Sam

I have to say, this post convinced me. When I read the first part, I thought "Fake", but by the end, I saw that it was coming from you heart, or you are extremely good at faking it. So, you have my apologies for judging you.

Wow sorry to hear you've had such a bad year sam, good luck with quikly and well i hope people believe you like i do with this.
Looking forward to seeing quikly back again

Have you got msn i can speak to you on msn sometimes? I've got an dea that might smooth this out a bit more

My msn/e-mail is: chris-franklin-2k6@hotmail.co.uk

What was Quickly?

Sorry, I just feel like I walked in half way through the story...

Steve J - thank you so much that means a lot to me

Chris Franklin - wow long time no speak - thank you so much again for your support. I'll try my darndest to get everything all sorted as I've laid out above

Chris K - it was a suite of drag and drop style games making programs I worked on for many years, including a 3d modelling program and level editor etc. It had a lot of potential, and I hope that as soon as is possible I shall release the source free to the community. I'm hardly online at the moment but once I am I'll be sure to hit you up, you were always a good guy

I forgot to add an apology that I'm not really planning on returning to the forums properly yet (don't even know whether I'd be welcome!) as I can't properly commit enough time or energy at the moment, but I hope to be coming back as soon as I'm better. I'll try and pop into this thread every day for a while to answer any questions etc.

PS I should have said, I'm reaqlly not here for pity, feel free to vent anger at me if anyone's still mad at me, I probably deserve it - as I said, nothing was done on purpose and it was all terrible luck and unfortunate timing - however its very wussy of me not to at least come here and face the music till now, for that, again, I apologise. Thanks so muych for all the support, Sam

Right, I just made a really long post, and my internet disconnected, that just really annoyed me.

Right, first of all, if this is all fake, it isn't funny and if that were to be true, I'll will go out of character.

But considering, that if this was a scam to take money, it would be a stupid scam as it would have been more beneficial to continue the project. So at this point I believe you with an open eye.

I'm very sorry for what has happened, it is terrible for what nature and this world can do, but it takes a strong person to come from bad things, and I can see you're one of them. I think, it would be useful for you to take time for yourself to think and relax your body and mind, even if it is taking a walk in the fresh air or laying completely relax on your bed, those sort of things should keep you thinking straight and lowering any stress levels.

When you started cutting off contact, I tried to keep things on your side and defend you against claims, but I'm afraid as time passed it confused me and I ended up agreeing with people who thought it was all fake. Personally, I don't think you should have been worried about posting here after things went wrong, you would have only faced disbelief at that stage, but I would have been happy to support you there, as things do happen.

I must say, we make our mistakes, some of us learn from them, some of us don't, I think people should treat their mistakes as lessons and to do that makes you human. You had your priorities, you have duties going in opposite directions, there were things you could have done, but there is nothing to judge you for there, nobody ever makes the best decision. So this means all you'll need to do, is prove yourself really in this community in duty to those who paid or were going to buy, which I can see you aim hence posting.

I'm glad you posted here in the end as questions can be answered. And hope all works out for you, both Quikly and your life and condition.

It's a shame to hear you've gone through such tough times, K2.

All the best for the New Year, and hopefully everything will smooth out for you

Jess.

Sorry to hear that you've been going through so much. However, hypothyroidism isn't that bad. As a result of an auto-immune disorder, I have diabetes and severe hypothyroidism. Now, after 6 years, my thyroxine dosage still isn't right. I adjust it every couple of months. The transitions are barely noticable at all. In fact, the entire disease is nothing more than a minor annoyance that requires occasional tedious adjustments.

I don't doubt that you've had problems, and the emotional ramifications cannot be ignored. However, I don't think that they should be confused.

Good luck with everything.

o rly?

You have my sympathies Sam. Hope the holidays help boost your spirit and help you get everything back on track.

I didn't know what happend to you until about 2 weeks ago. I saw your product and was even contemplating buying it. That was about a year and a bit ago when I first joined the forums, I was suprised to hear that you had vanished and left a few people for dead, but this thread convinced me. I'm sorry to hear about your troubles! I hope that you have many blessings in the new year!

Welcome back,Sam.
Sorry to hear about what happened.
I hope that the new year brings you and all of the rest of us good things.

no hard feelings, i wasn't a customer but I did keep up with the thread.

People kind of freaked out because they only have time to sit and think of the worst possible scenario, don't let it make you think you're not welcome here, you are.

Whenever you have time, I sure want to see you back up around these parts .

I wasent a a part of Quickly but I am very sorry to hear about your situation and I hope it improves. I do wish you luck with you future projects.

First I'll start off with a "welcome back to the forums" and all that yadda. Glad to see you had the courage to re-appear, as most of us Quikly EAers have you on our list of most despicable vendors.



I still have the receipt and the email where you said if I pay you an extra 5er you would ship it out priority. Not only did I receive the package *months* late, but it arrived around the same time as everyone else. To make matters worse the package was nothing more than a doorstop, as the CD was simply an installer that downloads the package remotely. That was my first beef-- not the money, but the principle of the sale and the up-sell.



I find that a little hard to believe, as we were quite active on your forum and your threads on TGC, where people in your area were calling you with no answer.



Come on--- that is also a little hard to believe that your only way you could contact us and make things right was through a third party. Everyone in the western world has access to the internet in one form or other, whether it's through home, an internet cafe, a public library, etc.



And this is where we have another problem. Why is it that every active poster from your forums and the TGC threads didn't get a refund? Please, I don't want to sound like an a-hole, but I simply don't believe that the "vast majority" of us received refunds. In fact, I'm pretty damn sure not even one of us did. Check out how many people were angry in the TGC threads. Did you even read through them?

To make matters worse, I had a lot of respect for you, based purely on word of mouth. Everyone had the best things to say about you, so I trusted you. You were a mod here before my time, and that added an extra layer of trust. I didn't need Quikly in any sense of the word, and the majority of my decision was based on helping the indie industry.

If you remember the history, you promised the EA version in February, and kept bumping it back week after week with an excuse here, an excuse there, etc. Finally, after it was too late to get Paypal to refund me the money, you literally dropped off the face of the earth. People tried to phone you, and I personally must have emailed you 2 or 3 times.

TGC even offered up a 20% (IIRC) discount on any TGC product because Quikly was in the newsletter, so I'm hoping you will pay them back as well.

That being said, I will email you an invoice with what you owe me (around $55), and only after you pay me back will I be happy with your presence here.

Listen, I know you're probably a very decent guy who ran into a bunch of problems, but that's life. Without getting too personal, I have had major issues in my life lately with my loved ones, and last year I was knee deep in credit card debt myself. It takes a man to step up and admit he made a mistake (which you did, and I thank you for that), but it takes an even bigger man to "right" what he did wrong, and not blame his problems on everything around him.

Please look out for my email.

EDIT:

I just checked, and I paid you:



I'm putting this here as I don't entirely trust you'll be checking your emails.

Trust somone to make a post like that one!
Did you actually read his post properly Jeku? Or did you skip this part,

Yes I agree that you should be angry, I would be angry to if somone ran with my money, not saying that he did. But still cut him a little slack!

You must not have read my post, Darth Vader.

Still, late is better than never. When he does refund everyone's money, he will erase all suspicion. Until then, there is valid cause for apprehension and analysis.

Ditto Darth Vader, Sam's said he'll refund the money what's the problem? I trust Sam will refund it. He's not lost any of my because I knew all along something was wrong from speaking to someone from his family (Mike? ) on my msn. Which i tryed to explain.



@Kangaroo BETA2

Sorry to use your thread for this but you haven't got an e-mail public i can contact you by,but when your ready would you like me to help with the quikly site? it's just well even though i only used the free version of quikly , i honestly feel i'd like to help get it running again it IS a great app (Back when i was known as DBmad )

Sorry again for using your thread for this.

Please don't belittle me and tell me how to read. You were not part of the whole debacle that went down.



Um, he did. Almost one year ago to be exact



Chris, I trust that you'll rightfully stay out of this, as you made it quite clear that you did not purchase a copy of Quikly. Not to be rude, but let's keep this on topic.

Firstly I'd like to say many thanks to all the notes of support. Jeku is a longstanding, trustworthy and respected memer of this community, please don't be mad with him (or others) for getting mad with me, I thoroughly deserve it.

There's a few issues that Jeku has raised that I'll try and answer here:

Many apologies for the whole paying extra for delivery thing, I remember you specifically requesting that and I'm sorry if it slipped my mind. I have notes of everything everyone paid me so rest assured your full ammount will be refunded. Apologies again.

Quote: "its only thourgh phonecalls from Quikly pruchasers that I worked out that he hadn't."
Quote: "I find that a little hard to believe, as we were quite active on your forum and your threads on TGC, where people in your area were calling you with no answer."

Someone apparantly posted my telephone number on these forums, I'm not sure how they got it but I was glad they did. I spoke to 2 members on the phone wqho warned me of the anger at the forums and enquired as to my health and situation. I tried to be as honest as I could in the answer telling them pretty much everything I stated above, except to say that I was currently in legal discussions as to the people who paid me to continue with Quikly, and I prefferred not to go into to much detail incase it damaged my case. Whether they came back online and re-iterated what I said I'm not sure, they were both very polite and both encouraged me strongly to come back online and post what I had just told them as an explanation. As statedf above I tried to do this on several occasions, but couldn't muster the strength and literally broke down upon trying to type and seeing all the people I'd let down. It was cowardly and I once again apologise.

It does not surprise me in the least that many people tried to reach me and failed, as my phoneline was cut off several times whilst I was struggling with debt, and a lot of the time I was also travelling to meeting with citizens advice and legal advisers as mentionned above, and also travelling to visit and help sick family, as also mentionned above. Perhaps if they are still here and reading this the two members could come here and vouch for the fact they spoke to me that would be appreciated

As chris mentionned a few people stayed semi in-touch with me through my brother-in-law via msn and icq. Quite what he said to them I don't know, as he is young and lives a long way from me. When he travlled down with my inlaws to visit me recently he mentionned tat he was getting a lot of hassle from people and didn't know what to tell them, and I gave him a rough recounting of the matters with the other people "helping" me and explained the legal situation happenning at the time. How much of my (and his sister's) personal business he felt comfortable discussing with people through messangers I don't know, however I aam thankful to him for talking to people on my behalf and I sincerely apologise to him for any trouble/upsetting messages he may have received, it must have been hard for him as he, like most of you, didn't know what was going on - he was simply involved as a quikly forum user adn was not speaking on my behalf through me, we barely discussed it at the time, as I was ill and he lives a long way away. Also obviously my wife and I tried to downplay just how much my illness was affecting our lives as to not worry relatives far away, or give the impression our marriage was in trouble. Thankfully we both made it through and our relationship is infinitely stronger for it, my wife is an amzing person.

Quote: "I eventually wrote a note very similar to this one as an open letter to the TGC community and wishing the new guys good luck with the project, and posted it to them asking them to post it on the website, along with some suggested additions I had."

Quote: "Come on--- that is also a little hard to believe that your only way you could contact us and make things right was through a third party. Everyone in the western world has access to the internet in one form or other, whether it's through home, an internet cafe, a public library, etc."
As I said, it wasn't a case of I couldn't through lack of internet access, I simply did not have the strength of will or character to post here, though I tried. When I said website I was refferring to Quikly.com, for which I had given the new guys the ftp passwords and they had changed.

Quote: "but the crux of it is I ended up with paypal giving refunds to the vast majority of people who bought,"

Quote: "And this is where we have another problem. Why is it that every active poster from your forums and the TGC threads didn't get a refund? Please, I don't want to sound like an a-hole, but I simply don't believe that the "vast majority" of us received refunds. In fact, I'm pretty damn sure not even one of us did. Check out how many people were angry in the TGC threads. Did you even read through them?"
I'm afraid here we have our wires crossed. If you re-read it you'll see that all the automatic refunds given were for dvds and videos from my collection which I sold trying to make the money to refund people. I'm sorry if that was confusing/badly typed. As I stated before, only 2 people who bought Quikly got refunds, before the whole ebay/paypal idea fell in on itself. Those refunds were given about 2 months after the website went offline.

Quote: "To make matters worse, I had a lot of respect for you, based purely on word of mouth. Everyone had the best things to say about you, so I trusted you. You were a mod here before my time, and that added an extra layer of trust. I didn't need Quikly in any sense of the word, and the majority of my decision was based on helping the indie industry."
I know, and its things like this that break my heart. I truly never wanted or expected this all to happen, it all seemed to collapse around my feet and I didn't see that I could do anything about it. However I'm on the road to recovery both physically and financially so I'm hoping I can manage to sort it all out as soon as possible and start to right my wrongs.

Quote: "If you remember the history, you promised the EA version in February, and kept bumping it back week after week with an excuse here, an excuse there, etc. Finally, after it was too late to get Paypal to refund me the money, you literally dropped off the face of the earth. People tried to phone you, and I personally must have emailed you 2 or 3 times."
Yes thats accurate. Again I'm sorry. I felt less and less in control of what was happenning. As I touched on above, I truly saw the end in sight and felt that once it was all sorted everyone would be happy and I'd be able to take time to relax and get well again. When it became apparant that the whole thing had grown to big for me to cope with, thats when I called in help. Unfortunately it looks like the guys I picked were unreliable at best, very dishonest at worst. Being on the verge of a serious breakdown due to mounting stress mixed with the hormonal inbalances of the illness meant that this was pretty much a final straw. As I mentionned above, it really broke my heart and I ended up withdrawn and unable to cope with everyday life. Answering emails and letters, especially with the sheer volume appering was simply impossible. I'm so sorry for leaving you guys in the lurch, I really am.

Quote: "TGC even offered up a 20% (IIRC) discount on any TGC product because Quikly was in the newsletter, so I'm hoping you will pay them back as well."
Wow I didn't know that and am truly sorry. Once I am financially stable and have repayed my debt to Quikly purchasers I'll make sure I get hold of them through Rich and see if I can get account details and try to repay as much of this ammount as I can.

Quote: "That being said, I will email you an invoice with what you owe me (around $55), and only after you pay me back will I be happy with your presence here."
Please don't email me, I'm not using any email addresses at the moment, as I literally spend almost no time online. I tend to be in the mental state at the moment that if I visit any websites or forums I loose hours to drifting off and clicking links and forget what I came online to do in the first place. This is the first proper forum I've come to in a long time, and as I said I'm only posting stuff in this thread not others. As far as the refund goes, you are on my list with all the others who haven't recieved them yet, and I shall be going through in order. Once I am financially able to refund someone, I shall set up a new email address, probably hotmail, and I shall email them first to find if their postal address is still the same, and whether I can post or paypal them payment. If I get no reply from the email then I'll send a letter.

Quote: "Listen, I know you're probably a very decent guy who ran into a bunch of problems, but that's life. Without getting too personal, I have had major issues in my life lately with my loved ones, and last year I was knee deep in credit card debt myself. It takes a man to step up and admit he made a mistake (which you did, and I thank you for that), but it takes an even bigger man to "right" what he did wrong, and not blame his problems on everything around him."
I'm sorry to hear of your problems I totally sympathise. I also totally agree with you and it was not my intention at all to try and aleviate blame from myself or place it on others, I was merely trying to explain why I've been unable to come here until now. Many thanks for your support.

Awesome, thanks for the quick reply, Kang. After reading, re-reading, and triply re-reading my post it may sound harsh at best, and I apologize if I come off as, well, hasty. I don't want this to turn into a flame thread and I'm honestly glad you have come back.

Thanks again for clearing things up, and I feel a lot better about the situation than half a year ago Don't hesitate to come back here as often as you'd like for support.



Oops, too late I had already forwarded you the Paypal receipt before reading your reply. Now that you're here and replying, I'm not in a hurry and feel confident that you will get back to us when you're ready. Good luck

Many thanks Jeku, I'll definitely keep in touch with everyone through here and let you all know of any progress.

I'm quite annoyed as I'm typing this as I just spent a very long time replying to Cash Curtis' post about Hypo thyroid "not being that bad"... I clicked to post it and the browser crashed and I promtly lost it

Essentially what I said in it was that yes I agree that in the scheme of things its not that bad, esepcially once diagnosed and being treated, but also to remember that I had been undiagnosed for a very long time and my hormones were all over the place, causing extreme fatigue, weakness, short term memory loss and confusion, as well as many more painful physical effects such as severe internal cramps and all over joint and muscular pain. The initial body shock of taking the medicine and changing the doses everytime my body started getting used to it again seemed to make the symptoms wrose not better, especially after being over perscribed for a while, I really can't explain just how terrible and hopeless I felt, it was soul destroying as I felt it would never get better just continue to get worse

Combining these symptoms with the fact that I was very stressed and worried about loosing my home, I had repo men at my door many times trying to take my stuff and scaring my wife and kids, had very close family being really sick and needing my help and support and felt extreme guilt and frustration after seemingly loosing over 4 years of work in quikly and letting so many people down wilst simulatneously getting further and further in debt but unable to work, meant that it wasn't long before I had a complete mental breakdown and manic depression, loosing all track of time and purpose. It must have been a nightmare for my wife and kids and I am so thankful that over the last couple of months they've stuck by me and helped me to start getting back on track. I'm facing the new year positive and hoping that things will get sorted. As long as I stay on track and on top of things and feeling positive about whatever forward steps I take, no matter how small, I'm sure taht I can beat the depression and cope with my problems in a more productive way

Wow; that's really a run of bad luck there, Sam. We have a few people that bought into Quickly on our forums (including Just One Old Man), so I'll point them in this direction. I personally never got involved with Quickly, but I sympathize with you.

I hope things start to look up for you and your family very soon, and this New Year brings you and your family peace.

-Keith

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GENERAL TIP: How to not lose your long-winded posts, upon clicking the POST button...

I have seen a few user mention they have lost long posts when trying to submit the data to apollo, as have I, on occassion. Here's an easy remedy: Right before you attempt to post your lengthy masterpiece, do a select-all and copy from the post textbox. Now click POST. If it bombs out you will still have the text on your clipboard, and you can try again - without having to retype or paraphrase
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The one you've just described is a habit I've gotten into after losing many, many posts several years ago on a poor 28.8kb connection. Additionally, I've also encountered accidentally bumping the side mouse button on occasion, causing the browser to go 'back' and hence, lose my message also. As such, I now select all/copy quite frequently whilst typing my posts. Furthermore, the Ctrl+Sing I go through whilst programming or typing up documents has been described as 'obsessive' - I literally, save after every couple of words typed.

I had tryed my best to reserve judgment about you kangaroo. But as i read more and more posts about what had happened with the whole quickly thing i started thinking that maybe you were not who i thought you were.

I now regret those thoughts and am truely sorry for you mate and will be praying for you man sorry to hear it.

cheers

BM

Assuming you haven't lost the source code or binaries to some natural disaster I'd be willing to create a subdomain at my web host for your Quikly website and files. If you get what you had out there in the world and start developing again it may save you some money so you won't have to refund more people.

I wasn't belittling you, To me your post was rude. Sam came to apologize, explain his reasons for not posting and you send him a receipt already! To me it didn't look like you read his post properly! That all I said! What aren't I allowed to say that to MOD?


Not really, he ran into a few troubles that delayed him. He said he was going to refund you money, isn't that enough?

Sorry If I sounded horrid, I didn't really mean it, you post just sounded rude after Sam's trying to explain his problems. I also have a blasted cold which is really annoying me!
Sorry Jeku

It has nothing to do with me being a mod. You were not part of the whole thing that went down with Quikly, so you basically don't understand the situation.

You do realize the title of this thread is:



You were not involved with Quikly, were you?



Please. Read the Quikly threads in the Program Announcements and WIP forums if you want the full information, as you're obviously jumping to conclusions. I have already made my peace with the fact that Kang is back on the forums, and I don't have issues with him anymore.

Calm down Jeku, I apologised for my comments, okay. I just have a really bad cold whic I have already said is annoying! Also what Sam said made me a little sad, so I kind of bit your head off because it sounded a bit rude which you also stated. Sorry and never mind what I meant!

Thanks again for the continued support and kind comments.

To the offers of hosting space and webs deign etc thanks very much, one I get my source back fully I'll consider my options, an certainly bar these kind offers in mind.

As for the copying before pressing post, yeah I usually do that just incase After being offline for such a long time I've fallen into bad habits and forgot! Thanks for the tip though I'll be sure to remember this next time I go on a diatribe/rant

My sympathies mate, didn't realise its been so tough for you.
I couldn't imagine how much balls it took to get you to write that here, hope your family is well and i hope things get better in the future.
nice to see you here.


(I read this on my wii, it took fecking forever!)

Thanks man

Wow I'm jealous I really want a Wii (they look so fun) ! But I can't afford any new consoles or anything until I've paid all my debts etc, I even sold all my old consoles, so I can only really play v old games via emus on this rubbish pc Still, fun old classics

To appease Jeku, I'm not going to comment on Quikly.com, or any purchase/refund related issue. I am however going to comment on this...




If you're glossing over the nitty gritty intentionally, then I apologise for the upcoming rant. If however, you've been generously handed the "manic depressive" label to throw around as you see fit, then this is to all those who think they've had a "nervous breakdown" a couple of weeks ago, but now they're ok...


My (personal) experience with a manic depressive is a harrowing one. You would not wish it on your worst enemy. Notwithstanding the nonsensical, never-ending ramblings of someone in a state of mania, a suffererer's personality changes - sometimes forever. I don't think there are many situations in life where someone can change so drastically that they are not recognisable. The look of contempt or confusion on their face for what should be a familiar situation makes you want to wake up from the nightmare. From your witty, sharp friend, partner or sibling, they turn into a charity-case. They are pitied in the street by onlookers, while you try and keep a lid on the craziness.

You feel guilty because you resent them consuming all your energy, and yet, you hope that your compassion will bring them back.

Just as they begin to even out, and you think you're in the clear, the depression starts and the whole process begins again.


It bothers me when people throw around terms like "manic depressive" or "nervous breakdown". If Kangaroo2 is telling the truth, then he has my deepest sympathy.

Reminds me of a disabled guy who used to go around using his disability against everyone, in the end he ended up having everyone resent him, sure we wouldn't lay his hands on him or say anything horrible to him, but there is nothing in the law saying you can't resent an a-hole, he was a friend of mine, but he soon screwed that one up.

I agree there, if you're labelled something, it is not a tool, but rather something to making your life easier when your 'label' if you will has resulted in something effecting you, or the people around you. I think that applies for Kangaroo, with all of the stuff he has said, if true, then he's not abusing the fact that he has been diagnosed with his condition.

Couldnt agree more. Mother in Law suffers badly.

Edit (from manic depression)

I completely agree, manic depression is terrible. It is something I saw my father suffering from severely when I was young and he's never truly been the same person. I sufferred from depression quite severely as a teenager and have never quite been the same, but made desperate attempts to remain true to my self and normal to those around me, especially since I have a wife and 2 children to support. However I'm afraid that in the last year things got too much for me with the added stresses and everything happenning seemingly all at once and trying to cope with it all, I simply burned myself out and failed.


This describes exactly how I've been feeling. I'm REALLY trying not to fall back down again. and so long as I keep positive and concentrate on those who need me, I'm hoping I'll be able to cope.

As I have said several times I am not here looking for sympathy at all, and hense I have not been trying to underplay not overplay the experience I had, I'm not here to bring anybody down, and I'm trying to keep positive myself. But what I will say is that for a good few months I was a completely unrecognisable person in character, and so cripplingly mentally and physically weak I'm not quitye sure how I coped. If it wasn't for the constant (and often undeserved) support of my wife, I would not be where I am today. Sure I'm not fully recoevrred, I don't think anyone can be in such a situation, but I'm setting small goals, keeping each day timetabled and planned out in small sections and keeping a diary so that I can get a grip on what I'm doing and get a sense of time and scale, and I'm making sure to get as much sleep as possible, get regular but not excessive excercise, and eating and drinking healthily. No alcholo, cigarrettes, caffiene, fast foods etc. all these kinds of things fit quite nicely with the new year, so heres hoping I can keep positive and turn my life around.

Sorry to get heavy, just didn't want anyone thinking I was dropping fashionable names into simply being a little lazy or sad - its simply not that clear cut. I would never use such things to get sympathy, please don't think its that, I'm just trying to explain my position. I truly was not myself. I feel I'm perhaps halfway back to discoverring who I was, or at least who I now feel I should be.

Hope New Year went well for all you guys All the best, Sam

Before I say my two cents: I was not involved with Quickly in any way. Actually I didn't even know about it until now. But I do feel I have the freedom to say what I want regardless.

After reading K2's very long story, I think that he did the right thing by saying he was sorry. Although the whole story sounded like a pity run to me.

I'm not trying to be a jerk and I do feel bad for you. But some of the personal problems could have been left out. We are talking about software here, this isn't an Oprah show. I've never had any "serious" diseases or conditions so I don't know how you feel, but I hate it when people complain about that to people that they don't even know themselves. What if I came out and said, "Sorry guys, you can't have your software because I'm depressed, have a condition, and can't handle my money." Sorry, I know what I said was rough, but I had to say it. Next time, plan things out before you actually sell something to people. Also, I do agree with Jeku on all of his points of arguement. It is upseting when you spend money and you don't get what you payed for.

Seriously, I feel for you and I wish you good luck. I know there are a lot of people here who are going to hate me for this, but quite frankly, I don't care how people think of me when I'm giving my opinion because I have every RIGHT to say what I want without breaking the forum rules. Sam, again, good luck and God bless.

so now you are back are you gonna join the community again?

BM

to Kaurotu : Fair enough thats your opinion and I agree with it. However, due to the magnitude and time involved with the situation I felt it only right to properly explain. I have said several times I did not want pity etc, just felt I should be honest. If I just turned up and went "yeah sorry I've been busy" people would have pressed me for more details. I purposely left out details related to members of my family and other issues for just the reasons you mention. I didn't go into more details about my own conditions until people asked for more details by questionning their authenticity or how much they can affect your life. I'll now shut up about it because obviously it sounds like I'm trying to play the sympathy card, tho I keep saying I'm not

Big Man : Yeah as I said I plan to. Its still a struggle to make productive use of my time at the moment getting back on my feet with work and personal life, finances etc. but yes as I get more time and more settled I'd like to come back into the forum, and as soon as I get full control of the products again I'd like to post free versions and source code, models etc to help people out

Right I'm knackered and off to bed. Once again thanks to everybody for the support

Just think if you had taken money from, say, the government, for services that were unfulfilled, and asked them to give you time because you were sick. They would garish your wages and/or put you in jail. Maybe you're lucky we're not Uncle Sam (or whoever you UKers use as the face of the government).

It's funny, we don't pay the government quick enough, we get in trouble, the government doesn't pay us in time, they get off scot free...Same for banks...it might make an interesting story if someone tried to take the government to court for taking too long to give you your money. Although the person would be cast off as an idiot, but it would be something to make me smile.

*No Comment*

Quoted for absolute truth. I've learned never to expect money you are supposedly owed from the government and local councils. We've even ended up owing them money because they've messed things up. Essentially I never want to be in a position where I'm reliant on any kind of benefits or handouts, and thats why I'm trying so hard to get back on my feet - it must be a nightmare for those who are permanantly disabled or sick or unemployed with no job prospects and forced to rely on them for long periods of time...

Applies to banks, businesses etc. It is quite often you should trust their word as they do change their mind.



It is a good idea to avoid that one, especially when you have a condition, because you do become reliant on it, my uncle lives on benefit with his schizophrenia, mind you that is a different situation, not many would employ a schizophrenic, but the point being living on benefits doesn't offer a good quality of life, but at least it is manageable and its a good safety net if you fall on your back.

There's an old family friend (well, more like we befriended him... but yeah) of ours who can't work because of some serious shoulder problems... drives him crazy and gives him some problematic self esteem issues... (he has other issues as well, which i won't bring up here)

I'm kind of suprised people here are so welcoming and understanding. Bottom line is that money was taken for an UNFINISHED project. I never bought any of the Quickly products, but as an indie developer, I am still affected by all of this. It makes all of the Quickly customers and the people that have read the corresponding threads more reluctant to purchase products directly from indie developers ( me ). In the past, I've been offered money from users as a "thank you" for developing certain products. These offers were before the product was finished and for much more than the end product will sell for. I refused the offers. If something happens where the bottom dropped out of one of my products before it was finished, I wouldn't want to feel like I owed anyone anything. Hell, I could use the money. I'm on a single income and have 3 kids, but it is just common sense and BAD business to do so.

Kang, if all that you have said is true, then I do feel bad for your situation. However, after all that has transpired, I have a hard time believing some of it. Even if it is all true, to me it sounds like a bunch of excuses strung together. It will take more than a couple of posts to earn back a shred of respect from me. Again, if any of what you have said is true, then I do feel bad for your situation. There is however NO EXCUSE for you not responding to these things earlier. There are many places where you can get access to the internet at no cost for a few minutes. How many months has it been?

Whatever....
I hope you man up and right the wrongs that you have commited. We will see if that happens. Good luck with it all.


WOLF

Surely then it would draw attention to the fact that there is a risk in purchasing indie content, I mean there are those in the indie business that don't fulfil their demands, I know its bad for developers and wish people did take more care for their customers, but it's good for the consumers if they keep a cautious eye on the product and the developer and well it does happen, even when it shouldn't. I just follow the philosophy, what's done is done, as long as the person has learnt their lesson and is no significant loss, there's no point getting worked up about it, it is better to be forgiving than to hold grudge for what they did and should have done. Hence I've taken it well (although not a buyer, but I was on the verge of buying it and was a member of the quikly community up and coming to the point where I was gathering money for it)

Kanga - I greatly admire your personal strength and courage. Clinical depression is a very hard thing to deal with and I wish the very best. I know what it is like from (thankfully not personal) experience.

I'm not worked up about it at all. Don't worry about that.
I think it is silly NOT to hold some sort of "grudge" though until all wrongs are fixed. I feel bad for any personal situation that he is dealing with, but I feel worse for all of the people that he ripped off. If some lines of communication would have been left open, I'd be a little less skeptical. I'll believe the stories when he starts refunding people's money. Until then it still smells like a real project that got over his head and turned into quick-buck scam to me. Remember, according to his story, not only did he take peoples money from here, he also took money from someone that "bought" the project off of him. They found problems that they believe were "unfixable". If that is the case, I have a hard time believing that the project was ready for release and that people just didn't upload it like they promised him.
Believe me, I'd like to believe him too. My heart wants to say "Awwww shucks... poor guy", but my brain is seeing half-assed stories and poor excuses. Sorry for being negative about the whole situation but it is the way I see it.