Has anybody had her sister, Sonia? I had both of them asking for me, how dirty. It sounds like a pervert's dream, but given the title is 'Hello my dear' they don't sound very much like young and attractive 20 year old sisters looking for a hot and attractive, courageous and heroic bloke like me. People who tend to be call me dear are my Nan and those lovely residents at the old people's home I've been working at.
I can smell the cabbage and stew as I read their emails, imagine an Oxo cube advert or something advertising gravy, even with the soundtrack playing the background. Mmm, Grandma's roast.
But if they only want to be friends? Well, that's great! Lets all go round theirs for a Sunday roast.
[For clarification, this post contains no euphemisms]