I am Batman.
Honestly.
Batman is smart, unbelievably smart, and serious, yet not a buzzkill. He still goes back to Bruce Wayne and hosts parties. Batman only wants to help people but won't do it if it means killing (or in my case harming) anybody, including the bad guy. Batman is athletic in his own way but refuses to play sports. Batman has no trouble finding friends loyal enough to risk their lives for him, yet he also finds rivals everywhere he looks. The ladies are all over Batman.
I share all of these characteristics with him (maybe not so much the ladies one, but you get the point) and so I insist you add Batman to the list and make it exclusive to me.
And I laughed when I wrote about the rivals because it is kind of funny how everybody loves me but like these 3 people hate me. I don't know why.