Sorry your browser is not supported!

You are using an outdated browser that does not support modern web technologies, in order to use this site please update to a new browser.

Browsers supported include Chrome, FireFox, Safari, Opera, Internet Explorer 10+ or Microsoft Edge.

Geek Culture / Top 10 stupid movie computer clichées

Author
Message
Wolf
17
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 8th Nov 2007
Location: Luxemburg
Posted: 23rd Oct 2011 23:46 Edited at: 24th Oct 2011 00:17
Link
I dedicate this thread to our average action movie computer clichées. I'm certain all of you have already noticed it, and I just saw it once again seeing my father watching some action slock on tv in the living room...so I decided to write a thread about it. Ha!

Some of these I even noticed as a kid

Number10: If you have an evil villain in your movie that tries to take over the world or some slug like that! Make sure he has some fancy custom made OS with a cool scifi interface!!

Number9: Uploading a virus from a memorystick takes a whole lot of time. A really long time the filmmakers usually spend doing some intense montages of a progress bar and our hero trying to stop the badguys from reaching the computer or vice versa.
However, a virus is usually an algorithm and not gigabytes large.

Number8: Everything has a selfdestruct-sequence (think about it, why would your spaceship/arctic villain hideout have a selfdestruct sequence?)

Number 7: If you are a general on some military base, make sure you don't have some...lights installed so your face gets dramatically lit by awfully colorful screens.

Number 6: If you search some random person on a CIA Computer, they have surveillance camera images, dna codes, your whole family tree and your current residence all in one handy file with a blueish passport image of you. (Especially when you are some underground villain from...where else? Russia!)

Number 5: Hacking something is usually shot in an intense montage of fast keyboard typing, circling cameras and some action shots of the bad guys slowly advancing.

Number 4: Some Computers don't have any interface, just 2 buttons...one saying "enter password" and the other one "download files"

Number 3: Villains have sensitive files in folders you can easily reach from their desktops. with one click...

Number 2: A scifi HUD scanning software usually has a small text crawling up like ending credits nobody could possibly read somewhere on the corner of the screen. The info the audience should be able to read is usually written in large flashing colors. "NO LIFEFORMS DETECTED"

Number 1: My absolute favorite!! Computers (especially in military bases) make dramatic beeping and interface sounds....all the time. Imagine working there 8 hours a day and the terminals constantly beep all around you.

Bet you folks have some more

Matter is energy condensed to a slow vibration, we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively Theres no such thing as death,life is only a dream,and were the imagination of ourselves.
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Chris Tate
DBPro Master
16
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 29th Aug 2008
Location: London, England
Posted: 24th Oct 2011 00:05
Link
Interesting list.

I see alot of A-List movies with super-computers for the CIA or MI6 with transitional animation effects swirling between each screen. I don't think they would want to spend the amount of money required for such animation to be created; it would also be risky, having to wait for an animation to finish if someones life depended on the pending output.

What’s your best game moment?
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
zenassem
22
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 10th Mar 2003
Location: Long Island, NY
Posted: 24th Oct 2011 00:33 Edited at: 24th Oct 2011 01:05
Link
Don't forget...

* The extra large font for that for the login.

* All high-end software requires enough keypresses to type a novel. Mouse is for newbs.

* When a computer is running a comparison on files, or images, it actually has to show them to the user. Usually with that panning laser animation. No computations can be done without the visuals even if they are presented so quickly that nothing can be discerned from them.

* Brute Force hacking credentials is manually typed in, and generally works on the 4th or 5th try.

* Regardless of the lack of research put in, and the complexity of the network... getting all network information involves a clamp-on remote packet sniffer that works and instantly provides required credentials on the first cable it's attached to.

I must admit,, although I cringe... much of it's makes for a better cinematical moment. The only thing that I can't seem to overlook is when they try to create some fancy file browser... like a virtual 3D tunneling system and bits are flying by and racing here and there. As if some of these are more advanced or more practical then a simple listing. Though it sort of look cool in Minority Report. I didn't much care for Iron Man's computer sequences.

I also dislike panels of indicator lights blinking all over the place. It looks the opposite of hi-tech, even then. Original Star Trek, Star Wars.... indicators are suppose to help convey critical information... Not just blink all over the place creating the equivalent of a laser light show. The scene should not look like 1000 games of Tetris, a kid with too much time on his hands and an oversized Light-Brite, the disco floor in Saturday Night Fever. I've worked in the military, and in complex radar systems and planes,, and while there are a lot of indicators...

It's not... and never will be.. and never should be... this city of random seizure inducing cluster bombs of square sequences with arbitrary colors failing miserably at trying to represent something akin to the Matrix.

Your signature has been erased by a mod please reduce it to 600 x 120.
Back to top
Profile PM Email
Seppuku Arts
Moderator
20
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 18th Aug 2004
Location: Cambridgeshire, England
Posted: 24th Oct 2011 00:50
Link
I nevere EVER see a computer user make a typo in films, okay, now I know geeks are great with computers, but lets be honest the years of typewriters have long passed and we get away with making typos and stopping to fix errors. I've never seen them hit backspace and go "oh crap, that's F.I.L.E and not F.L.E.I.!" I've never witnessed anybody type perfectly in the real world.

Also, I simply find it difficult to watch detective shows like CSI because it plays with my sense of realism and the pet peeve is "Image Enhancement", you simply can't enhance poor quality images to a crisp clear display where a person can be identified...no, you can perhaps enhance an image to try and work out some lettering to give you clues (not a crisp image, but it might help you identify them)- for example if on his t-shirt you are able to make out he's wearing a 'HMV' t-shirt, which suggests the suspect works at HMV. Also you might note a street sign that says, "West Avenue" that wasn't quite clear before.

Then there's how precisely forensics offers answers and how from, say, a piece of sand that can only be found by a certain pier, which suddenly people know comes from near that pier without going out and testing different types of sand to find a match ("It seems this sand contains traces of sodium, interesting because the same amount of traces of sodium can be found in sound around Brighton pier!"). This leads me to the conclusion that their computers have databases on information on types of sand existing in every single part of the world with the ability to cross reference data on different sands in order to find a match. Not only that but it is the duty to have AT LEAST one forensic scientist on the team with this information memorised.

Back to top
Profile PM Website
Seppuku Arts
Moderator
20
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 18th Aug 2004
Location: Cambridgeshire, England
Posted: 24th Oct 2011 00:55 Edited at: 24th Oct 2011 00:56
Link
Quote: "* All high-end software requires enough keypresses to type a novel. Mouse is for newbs."


I was going to mention this, but have found its being used less and less. Though yes, the main image of "person doing computery stuff" is pretty much 'type type type type':
"Can you move that window to the side?"
"No problem"

I suspect what they're typing is:
Window1.reposition Vector2(556, 129)
As opposed to using a mouse to click and drag. The mouse has existed for a good few decades already...jeez get up to date.

Side note, where I was working last, they still used DOS, all you could use was a keyboard and their idea of networking was carrying a floppy disk, but we're talking about a second hand shop in a small town, not the CIA.

Back to top
Profile PM Website
DJ Almix
19
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 25th Feb 2006
Location: Freedom
Posted: 24th Oct 2011 00:57
Link
Alright we have this 1 megapixel image, ZOOM IN AND TURN IT INTO 16 Megapixels!


I am not a fan of MLP , but that's just me
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Destrugter 1
18
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 26th Oct 2006
Location:
Posted: 24th Oct 2011 01:17
Link
Quote: "Number8: Everything has a selfdestruct-sequence (think about it, why would your spaceship/arctic villain hideout have a selfdestruct sequence?)"


This might seem dumb, but when I thought of this, I always thought of it as the bad guy's way to destroy any evidence in case he needs to make a quick getaway from the FBI or CIA...but that's just how I always thought about that.

My name is Brian.
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Daniel TGC
Retired Moderator
18
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 19th Feb 2007
Location: TGC
Posted: 24th Oct 2011 01:46
Link
If I have a supercomputer I can crack anything!

There's never a message saying "you have failed to type in the correct password 3 times, please contact your administrator"

And when we know there's a 3 password limit, it turns out the idiot wrote their password on their mug, in the form of their favourite pets name/ grandmother or girlfriend.


I dunno about you guys, but the password I was using back in collage was

FgHH987##_

And over the years they pretty much followed that pattern, perhaps I should get it printed on a mug?
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
WLGfx
17
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 1st Nov 2007
Location: NW United Kingdom
Posted: 24th Oct 2011 01:46
Link
The whole system has been taken over by a virus, and someone types frantically on a keyboard. With seconds to go the system is back to normal. Wouldn't the virus destroy all the files?

Mental arithmetic? Me? (That's for computers) I can't subtract a fart from a plate of beans!
Warning! May contain Nuts!
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Daniel TGC
Retired Moderator
18
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 19th Feb 2007
Location: TGC
Posted: 24th Oct 2011 01:50
Link
More importantly, why didn't the virus delete the keyboard drivers or disable the whole USB interface?
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
nackidno
18
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 3rd Feb 2007
Location: Där solen aldrig skiner
Posted: 24th Oct 2011 01:50
Link
I just started to think about this video when I read the thread title. xD

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gF_qQYrCcns

Check out my music blog!
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Daniel TGC
Retired Moderator
18
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 19th Feb 2007
Location: TGC
Posted: 24th Oct 2011 02:06 Edited at: 24th Oct 2011 02:06
Link
Oh god yeah, the magic bad image enhancement technique! Magical pixels turning up from nowhere! Now we can ID the bad guy!!! Yay!
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Wolf
17
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 8th Nov 2007
Location: Luxemburg
Posted: 24th Oct 2011 02:17
Link
Quote: "Oh god yeah, the magic bad image enhancement technique! Magical pixels turning up from nowhere! Now we can ID the bad guy!!! Yay! "


Especially when you know that it is a profession to restore these images in a process that usually takes weeks and is vague and not perfect at all...and in movies they have a software that does know what to do with these pixels instantly.

Also...why does police software always have a blue interface? Even pictures are always blueish black and white shots...no colored images.

Quote: "More importantly, why didn't the virus delete the keyboard drivers or disable the whole USB interface? "


It usually even gives an "upload completed" message before it crashes


Quote: "This might seem dumb, but when I thought of this, I always thought of it as the bad guy's way to destroy any evidence in case he needs to make a quick getaway from the FBI or CIA...but that's just how I always thought about that."


Thats true! But its clichéed nonetheless.

Quote: "* When a computer is running a comparison on files, or images, it actually has to show them to the user. Usually with that panning laser animation. No computations can be done without the visuals even if they are presented so quickly that nothing can be discerned from them."


Don't forget to add this "rattling" sound it plays while doing this.

Matter is energy condensed to a slow vibration, we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively Theres no such thing as death,life is only a dream,and were the imagination of ourselves.
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
WLGfx
17
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 1st Nov 2007
Location: NW United Kingdom
Posted: 24th Oct 2011 02:48
Link
They seem to have about 10 monitors attached to their computer in CSI.

And the robots eyes always look panicky just before the bomb goes off.

Mental arithmetic? Me? (That's for computers) I can't subtract a fart from a plate of beans!
Warning! May contain Nuts!
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Chris Tate
DBPro Master
16
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 29th Aug 2008
Location: London, England
Posted: 24th Oct 2011 02:48
Link
Wow so many replies already, we should email this to MGM and Warner Brothers.

What’s your best game moment?
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Wolf
17
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 8th Nov 2007
Location: Luxemburg
Posted: 24th Oct 2011 03:17
Link
Quote: "Wow so many replies already, we should email this to MGM and Warner Brothers.
"


Easy there! We don't want to give them any ideas, do we?

If you are any like me, you certainly enjoy a Crimeflick that has actual software that...exists, or scifi films where the computer interfaces and systems actually make sense.



-Wolf

Matter is energy condensed to a slow vibration, we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively Theres no such thing as death,life is only a dream,and were the imagination of ourselves.
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
RedneckRambo
18
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 19th Oct 2006
Location: Worst state in USA... California
Posted: 24th Oct 2011 03:52
Link
Number 1 should be that pictures are magically perfect resolution when zoomed in or that they can just magically make the picture perfectly clear.

Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Quik
16
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 3rd Jul 2008
Location: Equestria!
Posted: 24th Oct 2011 03:59
Link
Quote: "I just started to think about this video when I read the thread title. xD

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gF_qQYrCcns"


watched that link
its 3 in the morning, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH PAIN I HAD TO GO THROUGH!? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD IT WAS, NOT TO LAUGH?!

YOU COULD HAVE GOTTEN ME KILLED! D':


The result of origin.. Oh and ponies
Back to top
Profile PM
WLGfx
17
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 1st Nov 2007
Location: NW United Kingdom
Posted: 24th Oct 2011 04:01
Link
The tracking devices used in some of these films where a glowing red dot moves smoothly around the streets which are made up of blue lines on a black background.

Mental arithmetic? Me? (That's for computers) I can't subtract a fart from a plate of beans!
Warning! May contain Nuts!
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Wolf
17
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 8th Nov 2007
Location: Luxemburg
Posted: 24th Oct 2011 05:48 Edited at: 24th Oct 2011 06:02
Link
Ah yeah! Those satellites that can track you down and follow you in real time anywhere on the planet. (And sometimes create a 3D image of a building and locating "heat signatures" of people in there) or find your license plate

Matter is energy condensed to a slow vibration, we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively Theres no such thing as death,life is only a dream,and were the imagination of ourselves.
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
MrValentine
AGK Backer
14
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 5th Dec 2010
Playing: FFVII
Posted: 24th Oct 2011 05:53 Edited at: 24th Oct 2011 05:54
Link
Quote: "Then there's how precisely forensics offers answers and how from, say, a piece of sand that can only be found by a certain pier, which suddenly people know comes from near that pier without going out and testing different types of sand to find a match ("It seems this sand contains traces of sodium, interesting because the same amount of traces of sodium can be found in sound around Brighton pier!"). This leads me to the conclusion that their computers have databases on information on types of sand existing in every single part of the world with the ability to cross reference data on different sands in order to find a match. Not only that but it is the duty to have AT LEAST one forensic scientist on the team with this information memorised.
"


Yes they do actually have accurate databases of land materials and yes they do have variations in each part of the world.

Soil from north England vs soil from south England variate much like your dna/fingerprint variates from your brothers.

I saw this on a random episode of Time Team... or something.

Soil from high glacier locations contain more of one type of compound than soil from a low land area something like that...

heres an interesting site... http://www.sand-atlas.com/en/

[for those wondering why the site links dont work on some web links... its probably because the addresses did not end in a uniformed extension like .htm .html .asp .aspx .php etc]

there was other stuff on this thread but I think most of them got responded to aside from this one >.<

and I do not know if its because it is almost 4am but this was the only one that made any sense to me...

EDIT

I think it is time for an early morning tea...

Back to top
Profile PM
Dazzag
22
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 26th Aug 2002
Location: Cyprus
Posted: 24th Oct 2011 10:45 Edited at: 24th Oct 2011 10:48
Link
Quote: "Uploading a virus from a memorystick takes a whole lot of time"
It is because normally it has an embedded video of a laughing skull or somesuch rubbish. The virus is 3k, the extremely HD video of the skull laughing is 2.5Gb. Mainly because they can't be certain of the final OS it runs on so have to integrate a lot of different video formats incase the aliens (or whatever) don't have VLC (Galactic edition).

Oh, and all 10 year old girls are taught Unix to a very high level and can easily say "I know Unix!" at any desperate situation where a very sophisticated and skinned supercomputer needs hacking. Give them half an hour and there would be Windows 9 sitting there...

And all computer systems (regardless of whether the tech can support graphics or not) show an animated video sequence (usually a relative of that stupid virus skill) once you hack into it. And can control the traffic lights. And play TV.

Cheers

Ps. And any password can be guessed in 3 goes. Especially if you know the person (slightly) and the situation is desperate with very little extra time.

I am 99% probably lying in bed right now... so don't blame me for crappy typing
Current fave quote : "She was like a candle in the wind.... unreliable...."
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
zenassem
22
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 10th Mar 2003
Location: Long Island, NY
Posted: 24th Oct 2011 11:30 Edited at: 24th Oct 2011 11:38
Link
I'll have review it again,, but if my memory serves correctly, "The Lawnmower Man" contained neary every possible computer cliche. The entire movie is a highlight real of computer science cliches. I guess if any were left out... they were picked up by "Johnny Mnemonic".

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0104692/




Johnny Mnemonic Anyone???


Your signature has been erased by a mod please reduce it to 600 x 120.
Back to top
Profile PM Email
Brendy boy
19
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 17th Jul 2005
Location: Croatia
Posted: 24th Oct 2011 13:49
Link
when they need to make something on a computer they never turn them on. They just sit in front of them and start typing. They almost never have to login first or to wait for OS to boot up. And when they are searching on the internet they almost never use google.

BBB GUI Plugin
Landscape & Map Creator
Back to top
Profile PM Email
Seppuku Arts
Moderator
20
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 18th Aug 2004
Location: Cambridgeshire, England
Posted: 24th Oct 2011 14:09
Link
THE HIVE!!!

Probably more in games than films. But argh!!! Why is there always a hive? I know, I know, aliens have to set up shop too (they're invading after all), but really does a hive have to be such a cliche? This is where I am lost and often think, "oh what a shame, I was kind of enjoying this". Gears of War did it and Crysis kind of did it, then Crysis 2 - "hey, guess what, mate, yeah you're gonna have to go into the alien hive." Halo 3...*sigh*. Prey, you were kind to us, you had us beamed up into an alien spaceship right at the beginning and so you didn't have to infiltrate a hive of any sort!

It actually seems like a cheap win - lets go and destroy them from the inside. Ask: What would Rambo do? He'd have minigunned all of them before they even had a chance to set up a hive. If the aliens thought they could do their own infiltrating (breaking into the human hive?) Rambo would just disguise himself as a freaking tree and snab their neck before they can even say 'Sylvester Stallone'.

Back to top
Profile PM Website
BatVink
Moderator
22
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 4th Apr 2003
Location: Gods own County, UK
Posted: 24th Oct 2011 15:34
Link
Quote: "Number8: Everything has a selfdestruct-sequence (think about it, why would your spaceship/arctic villain hideout have a selfdestruct sequence?)"


I've worked places where a genuine fire alarm initiates self-destruction of the IT hardware room and backup tapes. That's just at a corporate level, no spies or hooded villains involved.

Back to top
Profile PM Email
Pincho Paxton
22
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 8th Dec 2002
Location:
Posted: 24th Oct 2011 17:01
Link
In movies a computer will display the same 10 pictures over, and over in a very fast sequence... Scottie's special glass in Star Trek The Voyage Home.

You can press the same six keys to write any program you like... Scottie's special glass in Star Trek The Voyage Home.

The passwords are always easy to crack.. usually a family name of someone dead.

Images of blood often come to life.. spin around, and fight like a ninja.

You can fly a spaceship with a Commodore 64 even 1000 years from now.

If a computer beats you at chess you must destroy the computer, it is a movie rule.

It is easy to sit in a police station, and mess around with their computers as they are often hidden in quaint little booths.

If ever a computer can speak it will often go completely insane.

Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Seppuku Arts
Moderator
20
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 18th Aug 2004
Location: Cambridgeshire, England
Posted: 24th Oct 2011 17:23
Link
Quote: "
The passwords are always easy to crack.. usually a family name of someone dead."


This is something I always find ridiculous. My passwords are a combination of a nonsense word (or a completely random word) and combine it with some numbers. It'd be something very difficult for anybody to work out. Perhaps I should become a James Bond villain, they'd really struggle, "So, surnames? Price01? Nope, Price02...? Price001? Damn, well, I had best learn to hack, hmm wonder if Lulsec are available for hire?"

Though I suppose there's a noble lesson in all this that the movies are trying to teach us - if you make your passwords stupidly obvious then people will be able to see that you like pron and they will have to come up with better passwords.

Back to top
Profile PM Website
WLGfx
17
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 1st Nov 2007
Location: NW United Kingdom
Posted: 24th Oct 2011 18:33
Link
Robocop - Give it too many instructions or directives and it goes insane. The less instructions or directions and the computer will not try to take over the world or go insane.

Quote: "You can fly a spaceship with a Commodore 64 even 1000 years from now."


Haha!!! Nice one...

And still you see a windows 98 blue screen of death.

Mental arithmetic? Me? (That's for computers) I can't subtract a fart from a plate of beans!
Warning! May contain Nuts!
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Dazzag
22
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 26th Aug 2002
Location: Cyprus
Posted: 24th Oct 2011 19:06
Link
A woman's password is *always* the birth date of her husband. Or her favourite child if the father is not around (anything after 1998 and he is dead or had an affair).

Copying an entire hard drive only takes seconds using a USB drive (which automatically copies although that's kind of fair enough). It doesn't matter if the USB port is not USB2 or anything it still takes seconds no matter how many Linux distros (you *know* what I mean) have been downloaded...

Also it's possible to download at seemingly impossible speeds on the Web even with a conky old 56k modem (I believe they even proclaim how amazingly fast the modem is in Hackers and I don't think it was even as fast as 56k...). And you know how in real life how slow those things were for downloading *ahem* Linux distros...

Cheers

I am 99% probably lying in bed right now... so don't blame me for crappy typing
Current fave quote : "She was like a candle in the wind.... unreliable...."
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Wolf
17
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 8th Nov 2007
Location: Luxemburg
Posted: 24th Oct 2011 22:18
Link
Quote: "I've worked places where a genuine fire alarm initiates self-destruction of the IT hardware room and backup tapes. That's just at a corporate level, no spies or hooded villains involved.
"


Yes, but it doesn't nuke the place.

Here is another one: You can install a human computer based virus on an alien spacecraft.

Matter is energy condensed to a slow vibration, we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively Theres no such thing as death,life is only a dream,and were the imagination of ourselves.
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Thraxas
Retired Moderator
19
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 8th Feb 2006
Location: The Avenging Axe, Turai
Posted: 25th Oct 2011 00:27
Link
This is my favourite clip from an episode of CSI:NY. My brother in law and I make jokes about this all the time.



Quote: "I like Thraxas as a person, but I don't like him as poster"
Back to top
Profile PM Email
zenassem
22
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 10th Mar 2003
Location: Long Island, NY
Posted: 25th Oct 2011 01:12
Link
Quote: "This is my favourite clip from an episode of CSI:NY. My brother in law and I make jokes about this all the time"


Please tell me that I didn't just hear what I think I heard.

Your signature has been erased by a mod please reduce it to 600 x 120.
Back to top
Profile PM Email
CoffeeGrunt
17
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 5th Oct 2007
Location: England
Posted: 25th Oct 2011 01:19
Link
I know nothing of programming beyond Hello World and basic Sparky's...and even I knew that's essentially the same as writing Hypotautomological Cardio-Epidermal Failure in a hospital scene...

I.e., a stream of bull...tripe...

Back to top
Profile PM Email
Wolf
17
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 8th Nov 2007
Location: Luxemburg
Posted: 25th Oct 2011 01:23
Link
Quote: "This is my favourite clip from an episode of CSI:NY. My brother in law and I make jokes about this all the time.
"


Wow! ... just wow XD The writers of this show don't give a crap about it, its official.

Matter is energy condensed to a slow vibration, we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively Theres no such thing as death,life is only a dream,and were the imagination of ourselves.
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Dazzag
22
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 26th Aug 2002
Location: Cyprus
Posted: 25th Oct 2011 13:50 Edited at: 25th Oct 2011 13:51
Link
*Anything* can be programmed in a couple of hours tops. Normally no more than 5 minutes and hitting random keys. I'm guessing VB GUI girl from CSI took all of 10 minutes (under pressure) to do that.

And if it's the end of the world then you can knock up a quick but extremely detailed and impressive 3D model on your outdated Laptop in your lunch hour. While sorting out your kids school problems and teaching him a valuable lesson on how his mom isn't really a bitch.

Cheers

I am 99% probably lying in bed right now... so don't blame me for crappy typing
Current fave quote : "She was like a candle in the wind.... unreliable...."
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
puppyofkosh
18
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 9th Jan 2007
Location:
Posted: 26th Oct 2011 03:21
Link
This (NSFW) has some great examples of computer cliches/misconceptions in TV/Movies.
Back to top
Profile PM
WLGfx
17
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 1st Nov 2007
Location: NW United Kingdom
Posted: 26th Oct 2011 03:51 Edited at: 26th Oct 2011 03:53
Link
Quote: "#7.
Hackers -- Hacking is Kind of Like a Video Game"


Nice one puppyofkosh...

EDIT: Hang on a minute... Did Wolf read that before making a thread?

Mental arithmetic? Me? (That's for computers) I can't subtract a fart from a plate of beans!
Warning! May contain Nuts!
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Wolf
17
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 8th Nov 2007
Location: Luxemburg
Posted: 26th Oct 2011 04:06
Link
Nope! That 2 people on 1 keyboard scene was so incredibly stupid that I would have been too depressed to make this thread XD

Matter is energy condensed to a slow vibration, we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively Theres no such thing as death,life is only a dream,and were the imagination of ourselves.
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Thraxas
Retired Moderator
19
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 8th Feb 2006
Location: The Avenging Axe, Turai
Posted: 26th Oct 2011 10:24
Link
Quote: "I'm guessing VB GUI girl from CSI took all of 10 minutes (under pressure) to do that. "


Probably. But I still fail to see how her making a visual basic GUI will help to track an ip address.

Quote: "I like Thraxas as a person, but I don't like him as poster"
Back to top
Profile PM Email
Wolf
17
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 8th Nov 2007
Location: Luxemburg
Posted: 26th Oct 2011 11:05 Edited at: 26th Oct 2011 11:06
Link
Quote: "Probably. But I still fail to see how her making a visual basic GUI will help to track an ip address."


Thats what we are joking about here...its not even related to track an IP adress

Matter is energy condensed to a slow vibration, we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively Theres no such thing as death,life is only a dream,and were the imagination of ourselves.
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Thraxas
Retired Moderator
19
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 8th Feb 2006
Location: The Avenging Axe, Turai
Posted: 26th Oct 2011 11:11
Link
Quote: "Thats what we are joking about here...its not even related to track an IP adress "


Yeah That's why my brother in law and I joke about it all the time. Particularly when we hear something equally ridiculous.

I don't watch this show, but ages ago I got linked to this clip. It's also funny, but for a completely different reason.



Quote: "I like Thraxas as a person, but I don't like him as poster"
Back to top
Profile PM Email
Insert Name Here
18
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 20th Mar 2007
Location: Worcester, England
Posted: 26th Oct 2011 17:47
Link
Ah, Nathan Fillion. That man is perfect.




And also the scene is funny.

Back to top
Profile PM
bruce3371
14
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 4th Aug 2010
Location: Englishland
Posted: 26th Oct 2011 20:00
Link
I know it's already been mentioned a few times, but the one that annoys me the most is the way that EVERYTHING gets done with the keyboard!

The worst drama for this is NCIS! Being MIT educated, you'd think that McGee would know how to use a mouse!!

Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Seppuku Arts
Moderator
20
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 18th Aug 2004
Location: Cambridgeshire, England
Posted: 26th Oct 2011 20:28
Link
Quote: "This is my favourite clip from an episode of CSI:NY. My brother in law and I make jokes about this all the time"



Argh! Seriously? Tracing an IP address by creating a GUI interface using Visual Basic? Jeez and my sister is obsessed with that program, I can't believe I've let her become subjected to such nonsense! I know some sci-fi likes to use techno-babble, which is kinda BS but sounds bloody cool, but...come on, this is taking the bucket. Jeez, a sign that their writers are either trolls or are too stupid/lazy to even look up what a GUI is on Wikipedia. Where's Old School when you need him? He does a lot of GUI in Visual Basic, I wonder if he can track a killer's IP address?

Back to top
Profile PM Website
PAGAN_old
19
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 28th Jan 2006
Location: Capital of the Evil Empire
Posted: 26th Oct 2011 22:18
Link
Speaking of computer movie cliches, some old movies that had laptops in them automatically assumed that WiFi was everywhere and the movie was like made in the mid 90s when there wasnt even such thing as WiFi


dont hate people who rip you off,cheat and get away with it, learn from them
Back to top
Profile PM Email
Travis Gatlin
16
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 14th May 2009
Location: Oxford, Alabama
Posted: 27th Oct 2011 01:38
Link
Meh, never really watch TV so i'm stumped on this topic lol, but now that you mention those things are just annoying arent they?

http://awolthehunted.blogspot.com/
For the latest news on my FPS in development, check out my blog!
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Jeku
Moderator
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 4th Jul 2003
Location: Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Posted: 27th Oct 2011 03:59
Link
- If you're scanning a fingerprint database, the computer will show all the thousands of fingerprints on the screen as it attempts to make a match. Then when a match is made, the fingerprint will slowly slide to the centre of the screen and overlap the matching fingerprint, and then the tracking points in the print will light up.


Software Engineer - Metamoki
Back to top
Profile PM Website
Dazzag
22
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 26th Aug 2002
Location: Cyprus
Posted: 27th Oct 2011 10:50 Edited at: 27th Oct 2011 10:52
Link
Any hidden bomb will flash a light or/and beep a lot to show that it is a bomb, and not say some random object that you might miss.

If you try to stop the bomb then any cutting of wires will speed up the bomb countdown (which is conveniently shown on the front of the bomb in big glowing numbers).

You will definitely stop the bomb by cutting the next wire. Normally with 1 or 2 seconds left on the clock. Unless you are Mel Gibson in which case you will have enough time to exit the building before the whole lot explodes and you can then let loose a wisecrack. Before being demoted. Temporarily. Then later being all racist and sexist and mentally unbalanced and stuff.

Cheers

I am 99% probably lying in bed right now... so don't blame me for crappy typing
Current fave quote : "She was like a candle in the wind.... unreliable...."
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Chris Tate
DBPro Master
16
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 29th Aug 2008
Location: London, England
Posted: 27th Oct 2011 14:19
Link
The protagonist is searching for top secret information that can help him or her accomplish a life saving mission; at the point of using stealth to gain access to a protected computer that is always on, to access a database that always happens to be logged in, without ever using the software before they always manage to find the information without any reading of help files, with no mistakes or never having to click the back button if using a web browser; usually the database has civilian records and a realtime satellite powered overview of the world.

Rearly it is emphasize that the process took a long time, but usually in less than 5 minutes, the information is on their USB key ready to go.

What’s your best game moment?
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Back to top

Login to post a reply

Server time is: 2025-05-20 05:34:47
Your offset time is: 2025-05-20 05:34:47