<just to be the helpful person that I am:
THE COMPLETED CHAPTER 1:
One day while Ermes was complaining and Coder_David ruled nothing, a penguin cried out for a magical sandwich. Then he realised he was holographic, so he went to TGC headquarters to the chicken, when suddenly, a b, and c looked very tantalizing. The penguin turned into a book. Then the book spontaneously combusted. 'Lemonade!' he cried out, 'I want!'. Then he went to 7-11 for a mocha latte. Then a robber took his axe and inserted it into his pocket. The robber felt that his beard was a bit too much like old carpets, so he dry cleaned his pet goldfish and his entire set of lotions life savings acount which he had and they shouted. Unfortunately the goldfish had fin rot which caused an ugly horrible looking vinegary smelling fin. Concequently, he was shot because of his fashion faux-pas. Pink doesn't match with green stripes and three fingers clipped off. However [he] learned to fly. "Howdy" said the pirate who appeared brandishing a large trout. He said 'eat my toe cheese if you want which you do so neener neener neener neener neener.' Meanwhile, an elephant looking like POWERSOFT fell into a rotten urethra, which then killed Powersoft's mother with the flowers underneath a prutrescent wilderbeast with herpies, then ate a fish named t3h_l33t_phi5h_0f_t3h_d4mn3d who he found crushed under a block of cheese made from an orange tree. Also, it was stale. "Unga bunga, me eat poop", he screamed, "and it tastes like a cat who was covered in green placenta. Suddenly Billy Bob appeared from nowhere and shot himself with a cat. The corpse rolled a joint with the US army, who then spat at Bill Gates, who then created a giant cat out of playdoh. However, windows xp activation suddenly destroyed Earth. Jim woke up under a cat that was fat wearing a hat, and Jim said, "s**t! a cat!". Hearing this, the cat ate his brain because this is what cats like to do.
Isn't it wonderful?
[edit] rhetorical question....>
Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries
