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Geek Culture / Relentless Bumblebee of Cunning and Wrath

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Fallout
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Location: Basingstoke, England
Posted: 11th Mar 2007 12:20 Edited at: 11th Mar 2007 12:21
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This morning, while lazily lying in, I was assaulted by the Relentless Bumblebee of Cunning and Wrath (as he shall be known). A huge mofo, flew into my window and wizzed around the curtains for a bit. I tried to ignore him, but he was a noisey begger, so I got up and opened the window wider and out he went.

Back in bed, dozing, again, the bee came in through the window, though this time not satisfied with staying behind the curtains, flew in and started powering around my room like a spitfire in a dogfight. I got up again, opened the curtains, opened the window and got the fat old bee out. Then I closed the window, closed the curtains and went back to bed. Just 30 mins of snoozing is all I needed!

And then, this relentless beast from the very depths of hell can be heard buzzing around in the corridor outside my room. He's only gone and come in through the flippin bathroom window. I don't care too much cos my door is closed, but I know I'll probably have to hunt him down later. Then it goes silent for a moment, and I listen intently, until I hear the sound of tiny wings trapped in a tight space, beating. I look over to the door and to my absolute horror, the bee is squeezing its fat arse under my door! It's coming for me AGAIN, for the THIRD TIME! (N.b. This is why it has been named Relentless Bumblebee of Cunning and Wrath).

At this point it flies up into the air and does its victory dance around my bedroom, smashing into various things as it does. And this is when I make the decision to execute with extreme prejudice. Taking up a convenient 30cm shatter proof ruler, I approach the bee who has now landed on the window ledge in the gap between the curtains. It moves off behind the curtain as I draw near and I whip the curtain back ready to send it back to the stinking depths of hades from whence it came ...

IT HAS VANISHED! I spend the next 2 or 3 minutes searching everywhere around the curtains, window ledge, floor, behind the radiator etc. and its nowhere to be seen. It has out-smarted me, and right now it is somewhere in my room, plotting its next attack.

A totally true story! Out-smarted by a big fat bee and robbed of my precious sunday morning lie-in.


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Jess T
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Location: Over There... Kablam!
Posted: 11th Mar 2007 12:32
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Haha, sucks to be you

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Chris Franklin_
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Posted: 11th Mar 2007 12:32
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rofl a smart bee must be a miracle (well not really)

llllRgt
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Darth Vader
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Location: Adelaide SA, I am the only DB user here!
Posted: 11th Mar 2007 12:36 Edited at: 11th Mar 2007 12:44
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Quote: "I look over to the door and to my absolute horror, the bee is squeezing its fat arse under my door!"

Lol that comment really tickled my funny bone! Good luck with that bee BTW!

EDIT: Sorry I just decided I don't want to hijack your thread! Lol!


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Benjamin
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Posted: 11th Mar 2007 12:37 Edited at: 11th Mar 2007 12:38
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The moral of the story is that you are rather stupid.



Quote: "robbed of my precious sunday morning lie-in."

Bah, be thankful you got sleep. I went to bed at 5am expecting to be able to sleep until noon. Somehow I woke up at 8am instead and couldn't sleep.

Tempest (DBP/DBCe)
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Crazy Ninja
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Posted: 11th Mar 2007 13:51
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I think Jess T puts it good enough for me.

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Fallout
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Location: Basingstoke, England
Posted: 11th Mar 2007 14:10
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Indeed, I was outwitted by a bee, but I will have my revenge. Mark my words.


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Screwed Over
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Posted: 11th Mar 2007 14:54
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lol, the bees are cunning indeed, one managed to follow me round school for a day somehow. i finally managed to kill it by flicking it into a disc sander in resmats.


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indi
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Location: Earth, Brisbane, Australia
Posted: 11th Mar 2007 14:57
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oh man that story cracked me up. classic
bee 1 / fallout 0
thanks mate i laughed heartily on that one.

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Matt Rock
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Posted: 11th Mar 2007 15:48
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Raid.


"In an interstellar burst, I'm back to save the universe"
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Agent Dink
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Posted: 11th Mar 2007 18:58
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That's awesome! Watch where you sit Fallout.

I have no signature...
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Steve J
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Posted: 11th Mar 2007 18:59
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@Matt: 0

pleading and needing and bleeding and breeding and feeding exceeding..where is everybody? trying and lying defying denying crying and dying..where is everybody?
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Matt Rock
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Posted: 11th Mar 2007 19:54
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Hey, I say kill the monster before he consumes pets and senior citizens. But if you don't Raid him good enough, he might get a temper and come at you hardcore... that's when you need to stop playing fair and break out the can of "supersoaker Raid." I don't know what else to call it, we had a spider problem a while back and I bought a can of raid, but when I sprayed it, it fired this immense stream of raid at the spider... I seriously think it broke it's legs and smashed it to death before the raid had any effect . Definitely overkill, but if this bee is as evil as it sounds, it might be the only solution


"In an interstellar burst, I'm back to save the universe"
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Benjamin
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Posted: 11th Mar 2007 20:16
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Quote: "we had a spider problem a while back and I bought a can of raid, but when I sprayed it, it fired this immense stream of raid at the spider... "

We made the mistake of buying that one time too, I think it's a spray for nests. Of course, petrol does a nice job in nests..

Tempest (DBP/DBCe)
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Chris Franklin_
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Posted: 11th Mar 2007 20:29
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Quote: "Of course, petrol does a nice job in nests.."


And Cardboard (Joke from a diff thread sorry had to be said though)

Quote: "Raid."

heh not worth it could use a newspaper or a shotgun at last resort

llllRgt
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soapyfish
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Posted: 11th Mar 2007 20:44
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Or you could just leave them alone. Maybe even put them outside if they're bothering you that much...

We are the angry mob, we read the papers every day. We like who we like, we hate who we hate but we're also easily swayed!
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Chris Franklin_
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Posted: 11th Mar 2007 20:51
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Quote: "Or you could just leave them alone. Maybe even put them outside if they're bothering you that much..."

Did you even read Fallout's post?

llllRgt
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Mnemonix
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Posted: 11th Mar 2007 21:31
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Bees and wasps just get stoned off raid. Its about as dangerous to them as a flower.

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Seppuku Arts
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Posted: 11th Mar 2007 22:46
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Haha, brilliant, Animals just love outsmarting us, I have a Cat that outsmarts me, I'm glad it's not as bad as being outsmarted by a bee

Did The Buddha have a Zen micro?
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soapyfish
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Posted: 12th Mar 2007 00:04
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Quote: "Did you even read Fallout's post?"


Yes. Next question?

We are the angry mob, we read the papers every day. We like who we like, we hate who we hate but we're also easily swayed!
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Agent Dink
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Posted: 12th Mar 2007 00:44
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I found that aerosol air freshening sprays have a seriously detrimental effect on bugs. I sprayed a centipede with it and it immediately curled into a ball turned white, and a few legs fell off. I wonder what wonders that does for your lungs

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Fallout
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Posted: 12th Mar 2007 12:43
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Glad my tale of sunday morning torment bought pleasure to so many.


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ESP
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Posted: 12th Mar 2007 13:39
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Hi Matt,

Quote: "we had a spider problem a while back"


Quote: "I seriously think it broke it's legs"


How big was this spider???

Robin
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Hobgoblin Lord
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Posted: 12th Mar 2007 23:59
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AH just move the spiders into your plants, no need to kill them off (unless they are of the poisonus variety), they will kill off all the insects that harm the plants. You would be suprised how well your plants can do with a few spiders in them.

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Matt Rock
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Posted: 14th Mar 2007 21:32
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I dunno, it was pretty large. It was one of those freaky brown ones we get in the northeast... ugly mother. I felt like I was oppressing another species with that spray, lol. Like if spiders were having a civil rights movement, that was my fire hose . I never used that spray again, it was just too... heartless. Not that I won't kill spiders though, many have met their demise at the heel of my Pumas


"In an interstellar burst, I'm back to save the universe"
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Screwed Over
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Posted: 14th Mar 2007 22:07
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Quote: "It was one of those freaky brown ones we get in the northeast"

i had one of those on my wall a few years back, and i live in england, that wet damp sucky place thats being tormented by the extreme heat from spain, my dad caught it in a colondar (i was like 5 at the time and am terrified of spiders" i dunno how he killed it, i guess he used the 3 cans of raid we had 'cause they were gone in the morning.

Quote: "I found that aerosol air freshening sprays have a seriously detrimental effect on bugs. I sprayed a centipede with it and it immediately curled into a ball turned white, and a few legs fell off. I wonder what wonders that does for your lungs"


are you sure thats air freshner?! poor centipede.


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Agent Dink
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Posted: 15th Mar 2007 00:30
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Quote: "
are you sure thats air freshner?! poor centipede."


I'm absolutely sure, having sprayed it a few times to freshen up the bathroom after using it... if you catch my drift (har har funny funny)


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Drew Cameron
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Posted: 15th Mar 2007 01:11
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This cheers me up "lol"

Good form.

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Matt Rock
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Posted: 15th Mar 2007 01:28
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I find that Oust spray works better than most other air fresheners in the killing-bugs department. And Lysol, Lysol is fantastic at irradicating species lower on the food chain than us.


"In an interstellar burst, I'm back to save the universe"
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Van B
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Posted: 15th Mar 2007 11:07
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A place I worked had it's own homebrew degreaser (oil industry, so you can imagine what this stuff had to shift). Anyhoo, this stuff could kill anything - it would turn spiders pure white and brittle, wasps never stood a chance, a bee's are just slower fat versions of wasps, so they couldn't cope either. You know your on the right track when they start fizzing and popping before they hit the ground .

The best method of killing any flying insect is as Fallout describes, a 30cm shatterproof - but in mid air, you should be able to wipe the ruler on the curtains and be about your way.


Good guy, Good guy, Wan...
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Fallout
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Posted: 15th Mar 2007 13:55
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Must admit, I favour wiping the shatterproof on the carpet, where any entrail stains are less visible, but each to their own.


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