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Geek Culture / Call-In-Sick Excuses

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zenassem
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Joined: 10th Mar 2003
Location: Long Island, NY
Posted: 21st Apr 2007 16:57 Edited at: 21st Apr 2007 16:59
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Just thought it would be good to for us to compile a sick day excuse list. At least enough to cover me for the rest of the year!

When complete I figure I could roll them together into the "TGC Need_A_Sick_Day" application; so you'll never be without an excuse to get out of work.

Heres' my contribution (My uncle passed on to me. God bless his Florida work ethic. Not sure of exact origin)

------

Excuse #1 : Anal Glaucoma

Boss: "Anal Glaucoma????"

You Reply: "Yeah, I just can't See my ASS coming into work today!!!"

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Seppuku Arts
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Joined: 18th Aug 2004
Location: Cambridgeshire, England
Posted: 21st Apr 2007 17:09
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Excuse #2: Apathy
Sorry sir, I cannot come into work today, I have a severe case of apathy...I can barely get out of bed
Boss: Then why did you bother calling?
You: You caught me!

Did The Buddha have a Zen micro?
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Hobgoblin Lord
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Location: Fall River, MA USA
Posted: 21st Apr 2007 17:23
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Employee: I can't come in today I have to take my father to the doctor.

Boss: Didn't you tell me last year that he died?

Employee: Yeah, we are not too optimistic he is gonna get better this time either.

http://forum.thegamecreators.com/?m=forum_view&t=73324&b=8
My RPG WIP, check it out
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David iz cool
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Location: somewhere lol :P
Posted: 21st Apr 2007 17:32
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i usually fake cough alot when calling in. lol
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Zaibatsu
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Location: Lost in Thought
Posted: 21st Apr 2007 17:43 Edited at: 21st Apr 2007 17:49
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this sounds like a job for the excuse generator in the Laffer Utilities...

gimme a minute, I'll come back with some


EDIT: these are excuses for not getting something done, not for not going to work.

1. The electricity went out
2. My answering machine ate the message
3. That floppy got erased (you may want to update with Hard Drive or CD)
4. I could have, but I don't have a corner office
5. Did you want me to do that before or after the other stuff I didn't do?
6. If I had a window in my office, I might have been able to finish
7. My hard disk crashed
8. That's not what you said last week!
9. My backups got erased!

"I admire its purity, a survivor, unclouded by conscience, remorse, or delusions of morality"

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UnderLord
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Posted: 21st Apr 2007 17:50
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Quote: "Boss: "Anal Glaucoma????"

You Reply: "Yeah, I just can't See my ASS coming into work today!!!"
"


That is actually a old joke....

"I have noticed even people who claim everything is predestined, and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road."
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Deathead
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Posted: 21st Apr 2007 17:57
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Employee: Your are the best boss ever!
Boss: Thx now get down here.
Employee: Did i mention your the best boss ever!
[hours later]
Employee: Did i mention your the best boss ever!
boss: Works finished...
employee: ohh and di...
boss: Your fired.
employee: Doh!

Check in today!-PLS
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Agent Dink
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Posted: 21st Apr 2007 18:14
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Just have someone else call in for you and say you're sick. If you can't call in you must be pretty bad At least that's what the boss should think.

I have no signature...
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RUCCUS
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Location: Canada
Posted: 21st Apr 2007 19:14
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Quote: "i usually fake cough alot when calling in. lol"


You definitely don't... with a name like "David iz cool"... Im in doubt you even have a job.

Good idea for the program though, Im out of ideas, I usually just say Im sick and leave it at that.


>> Gibble Blops - free, online, playable!
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dark coder
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Posted: 21st Apr 2007 20:57
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Nice to you people don't do the jobs you're supposed to be paid to be doing, and instead you just think up ways to screw your employers out of money.

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Benjamin
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Posted: 21st Apr 2007 21:15
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I agree with dark coder, but not everyone has a conscience.

Tempest (DBP/DBCe)
Multisync V1 (DBP/DBCe)
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Agent Dink
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Posted: 21st Apr 2007 21:46
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I only call in sick when I AM sick. I just gave out an idea is all. It's too dishonest for my conscience.

I have no signature...
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zenassem
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Location: Long Island, NY
Posted: 21st Apr 2007 22:11
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hmmmm, Sounds like someone who doesn't have sick time....

Lighten up D.C. it's suppose to be funny. I'm sure none of us would ever call in sick... not even for a game launch, to work on our project, partying late into the night, to stand on-line for concert tickets, snuggle up with the wonderful girl you met last night (yeah, what's her name again?), or any of the other wonderful things of life. No sir, we all realise that our employer needs us, and that there is work to be done. Can you say "Anal Glaucoma"??? lol

Like the one's left so far, but we need a ton more to make our app so keep 'em coming.
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soapyfish
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Posted: 21st Apr 2007 22:13
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My goldfish has taken the car keys and won't give them back...

True story.

We are the angry mob, we read the papers every day. We like who we like, we hate who we hate but we're also easily swayed!
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Seppuku Arts
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Location: Cambridgeshire, England
Posted: 21st Apr 2007 22:27
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Ditto to Zenassem, its not supposed to be taken literally, lighten up a bit, if someone tries some of these solutions, then they're a moron. Of course the best call up work one is Homer's, "My baby beat me up".

Did The Buddha have a Zen micro?
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HowDo
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Posted: 21st Apr 2007 22:32
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Excuse #3: Where did I leave it.

I'll be in as so as I remember which car park I left the car in last night.

Dark Physics makes any hot drink go cold.
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Jeku
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Location: Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Posted: 21st Apr 2007 22:50
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"I've been standing in the Passport line for over 5 hours and I'm still not even in the building, so I can't make it in for another few hours."

Wait--- that one actually happened last week

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Phaelax
DBPro Master
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Posted: 22nd Apr 2007 21:54
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Quote: "I'll be in as so as I remember which car park I left the car in last night."


I've had that happen before.

Oh, and there's nothing like forgetting to close out your tab at the bar when they have your credit card. I was out of town and couldn't go back home until the next evening when the bar opened back up.


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Zaibatsu
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Location: Lost in Thought
Posted: 23rd Apr 2007 02:20
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Quote: "but not everyone has a conscience"


I haven't had one for years

Quote: "My goldfish has taken the car keys and won't give them back...

True story."


please elaborate...

"I admire its purity, a survivor, unclouded by conscience, remorse, or delusions of morality"

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Thraxas
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Location: The Avenging Axe, Turai
Posted: 23rd Apr 2007 02:44
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Quote: "Just have someone else call in for you and say you're sick. If you can't call in you must be pretty bad At least that's what the boss should think."


One of the schools I worked in had it in my contract that I personally had to call in sick not a family member or friend. You also had to ring again at 2 in the afternoon to say whether or not you would be returning to work the next day. I forgot to ring at 2 once and because I was actually sick had my mobile off and the land line unplugged. When I put my mobile back on, I had half a dozen messages berating me for not calling in and for not answering my phone. Thus leaving her [the principal] to come to the only "logical" conclusion that I wasn't sick and was in fact out living it up somewhere and just wanted a day off. I hated that woman.
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Jess T
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Posted: 23rd Apr 2007 11:38
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I just told 'em I wasn't coming in - never made excuses.
Given that, though, I was Casual, and it was a super market, so I can't really say I'd have cared if they fired me.

One day I went in when I was sick, and half way through the shift, I couldn't take it, so I asked the (new) supervisor if I could leave cos I'd been sick in the morning, and I wasn't getting any better.
Normally, anyone else would have said "Sure, fine", but this evil ** wouldn't have any of it.
She even got the store manager on the phone (who I new personally) to talk to me telling me I can't leave.
I knew he was just playing it by the book, but didn't really care if I did or not, so I tossed my namebadge at the supervisor and walked out.

They didn't fire me, just told me not to do it again.
That supervisor was fired a couple months later after almost everyone complained about her

Nintendo DS & Dominos :: DS Dominos
http://jt0.org
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Van B
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Posted: 23rd Apr 2007 17:32
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I tend not to phone in sick, but sometimes I phone in for a holiday, my boss is usually happy to let me take a day here and there when I need one. It causes so many problems when I take time off for too long, never had a 2-week holiday, wouldn't know what to do with the time (besides code).

Some mondays, well it's in my employers best interests that I'm not in work, horrible mood today for example, damn I hate mondays almost as much as I hate sunday night.


Good guy, Good guy, Wan...
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soapyfish
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Posted: 24th Apr 2007 02:17
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Quote: "please elaborate..."


I wish I could but my hamster's threatened me with death if I do. That's complete death as well, none of this nearly dead death lark...

We are the angry mob, we read the papers every day. We like who we like, we hate who we hate but we're also easily swayed!
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Cash Curtis II
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Posted: 24th Apr 2007 03:25
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I wait until Friday COB to get sick. If I get sick before that and have to miss work, nothing will get done by any of the other losers and I end up having to work harder on a tighter timeline.

Everybody needs to miss work every now and then. I hate people that do it frequently and casually, because I know the truth.


Come see the WIP!
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5Louiz
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Posted: 24th Apr 2007 03:51 Edited at: 24th Apr 2007 04:05
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I do not recommend fake excuses. If you are really sick, you should phone.

If you need one day off work for any other reason, you may call the boss and tell him that you got some problems to get rid of and that you would pay for it later, as overtime.

I think that this sounds honest enough

[edit]
Never fake heavy illness. They may kick you off before you become invalid.
Just kidding. Never fake.
[/edit]


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indi
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Posted: 24th Apr 2007 07:03
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If I dont work. I dont get paid, Ill work with a broken finger, pneumonia and a bad case of itchy scalp.


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Fallout
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Posted: 24th Apr 2007 14:20
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In my old job, I used to blame the canteen food, since they used to recycle left overs into new and unprecedented culinary creations.

Me: I'm not coming into work today. My stomach is inside out.

Boss: Did the eat that hybrid of old curry, baked potatoes and shells of butchered baby tortoises from the canteen yesterday?

Me: Yes ..... yes I did.


However, now I work for IBM, and they let you work from home whenever you want, so now throwin' a sickie isn't necessary.


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Kentaree
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Posted: 24th Apr 2007 15:12
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I went into work a few months back after being out for a few days with tonselitis, my throat was swollen so I couldn't eat, drinking was extremely painful, and I hadn't slept in a few days. I was in for about an hour before my boss told me to go home and take the next few days off aswell

Nephin Games
Devhat Developer Network and IRC Channel
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Venge
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Posted: 24th Apr 2007 15:39
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My dog ate my report.
My printer ate my report.
My dog ate my printer....

Blender!
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zenassem
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Posted: 24th Apr 2007 15:52
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My job is a "civil service" position. I'm not sure what name they use in other countries. It's not technically a Union, but it's similar, they just call it an Association. We negotiate contracts just like teachers.

Under the current contract I am given.
15 Sick days
6 Personal days
2 Professional days
5 Weeks vacation time

Sick days and Personal days don't really require any excuses. All that you have to do is call the main switchboard and let them know you will be out, and what type of day your taking.

I don't technically have a direct boss. I am the only Networking person in my building. So if I take off, it just makes more work for me, because it's not like anyone else is there to pick up the slack. So I tend not to use my days, unless I am really ill, or if something with the kids comes up. I have plenty of time off anyway.

I have off for the week of Christmas till New Years, and most other holidays. When ever students are on break my hours are from 8am-1pm. During the summer I work M-TH 8am-1pm and have every Friday-Sun off.

I think I'm pretty fortunate. I have worked many jobs, without these perks, for less pay.
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Seppuku Arts
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Posted: 24th Apr 2007 18:50
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[quote]My dog ate my report.[quote]
Mine is close to that, my imaginary friend and I got in a fight and he decided he'd tear up my coursework.

Did The Buddha have a Zen micro?
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Deathead
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Posted: 26th Apr 2007 23:20
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Quote: ""My goldfish has taken the car keys and won't give them back...

True story.""

Really that happened to me threw em in its bowl and wallah! A GOLDKEYFISH!LOL
Heres a vet X-RAY:

LOLZ!

JOIN NOW!Or be square!
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Venge
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Posted: 27th Apr 2007 00:56
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I didn't know car keys showed up in color on an x-ray.
Or that they were shaped like skeleton keys.

Blender!
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glyvin101
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Posted: 27th Apr 2007 04:42
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you lose photoshop skill -1
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Shadow heart
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Posted: 27th Apr 2007 08:58 Edited at: 27th Apr 2007 08:58
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wake up noon call up and say:
My alarm didn't go off the power company just called me and said the power went off at 8 and was just repaired.

to the ones thats trapped inside of you, this is it!!
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