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Geek Culture / Corniest jokes ever!

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Pus In Boots
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Posted: 18th Dec 2007 12:48
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"Why did the chicken cross the road?"-Ancient Greek philosopher

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Libervurto
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Location: On Toast
Posted: 18th Dec 2007 12:58
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Quote: ""Why did the chicken cross the road?"-Ancient Greek philosopher"

People forget that it was a philosopher that said that and the punchline "to get to the other side!" is taking the piss out of philosophy.

@Pus In Boots
I've been staring at that cartoon frog for some time haha

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demons breath
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Location: Surrey, UK
Posted: 18th Dec 2007 13:02
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Still struggling to think of any non-offensive jokes... I thought maybe I'd remember some from the party the other night 'cos at one stage we all just sat round telling jokes, but apart from the one that was literally 15 minutes long they were all a bit offensive; even the lass throwing the party's kid brother who's 9 was telling racist/sexist/expletive jokes

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Libervurto
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Posted: 18th Dec 2007 13:12
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A blind man walks into a bar.
"Ouch!"

A Giant Panda strides into a restaurant and orders a steak.
After he's finished he stands up, pulls a gun out and kills everyone except the owner.
The owner is stunned and asks "why did you do that?"
The Panda turns before leaving and says "look it up in your dictionary"

Quote: "
Giant Panda - Eats shoots and leaves.
"


ahahahahahahaha!

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Agent Dink
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Posted: 18th Dec 2007 13:47
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LOL @ Obese

MISoft Studios - Silver-Dawn

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Libervurto
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Posted: 18th Dec 2007 13:55
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oh yeah, the Panda was Chuck Norris

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Pus In Boots
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Posted: 18th Dec 2007 16:32
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@obese: that was very similar to dark donkeys joke. Besides, Chuck Norris wouldn't leave any survivors.

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Libervurto
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Posted: 18th Dec 2007 16:38
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Quote: "@obese: that was very similar to dark donkeys joke. Besides, Chuck Norris wouldn't leave any survivors."

True ... The panda is an imposter!

The only joke I can see from dark donkey is a "Yo mamma's so fat.." joke that for some reason required a Chinese accent

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Pus In Boots
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Posted: 18th Dec 2007 17:48
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Oh, here's one.

Quote: "I heard that your dad went into a restaurant and eat all of the food in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant."
-Ralph Wiggum

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demons breath
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Posted: 18th Dec 2007 23:27
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@Pus: I love Ralph. That made me laugh more than anything else on the page so far. Mabye I just need to get out more...

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Pus In Boots
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Posted: 19th Dec 2007 00:11
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Ah, we have much to discuss...

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Pus In Boots
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Posted: 19th Dec 2007 18:18
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Come on people. Let's hear some more o' those corny jokes!

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Agent Dink
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Posted: 19th Dec 2007 19:24
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How do you make a pig fly?





Suzie, did you laugh from the airplane joke?

No Jim, it went right over my head!


ROFL

MISoft Studios - Silver-Dawn

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Darth Kiwi
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Location: On the brink of insanity.
Posted: 19th Dec 2007 23:53
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We all know the good ol' bar joke:

A man walks into a bar.
Ouch. It was a metal bar.

But for some reason, someone I know came up with this variant:

A man walks into a petshop.
Ouch. It was a metal petshop.

I'm not actually a Kiwi, I just randomly thought it up one day.
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n008
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Posted: 20th Dec 2007 00:06
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Yo mamma's so fat; she fell in love.........................And broke it

Yo mamma's so stupid, she changes the remote with a television!

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dfujis the rocker
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Posted: 20th Dec 2007 04:24
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Chuck Norris doesn't teabag, he potato sacks

The best rent I got was in prison

famous last words: check this out
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Keo C
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Posted: 20th Dec 2007 04:46
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Quote: "Chuck Norris doesn't teabag, he potato sacks
"

Fact!


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GatorHex
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Location: Gunchester, UK
Posted: 20th Dec 2007 12:37 Edited at: 20th Dec 2007 12:40
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This realy only works if you are < 8 years old...(probably my mental age)

What goes "99 plonk", "99 plonk"?



DinoHunter (still no nVidia compo voucher!), CPU/GPU Benchmark, DarkFish Encryption DLL, War MMOG (WIP), 3D Model Viewer
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Insert Name Here
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Location: Worcester, England
Posted: 20th Dec 2007 18:47
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Centipedes don't actually have 100 legs you know...


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David R
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Posted: 20th Dec 2007 20:02
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Quote: "Centipedes don't actually have 100 legs you know."


Centipedes can have up to 200 legs, so it's not categorically impossible to have one with 100 legs.

+ I assume the joke depends upon the reader realising they're centipedes


09-f9-11-02-9d-74-e3-5b-d8-41-56-c5-63-56-88-c0
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Pus In Boots
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Posted: 21st Dec 2007 22:28
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In Britain, they're pennypedes.

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demons breath
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Posted: 21st Dec 2007 22:44
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Quote: "In Britain, they're pennypedes"

OK that was definitely corny.

"A West Texas girl, just like me"
-Bush
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Grandma
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Location: Norway, Guiding the New World Order
Posted: 21st Dec 2007 22:51
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Quote: "In Britain, they're pennypedes."


In Norway, we don't care.

This message was brought to you by Grandma industries.

Making yesterdays games, today!
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Insert Name Here
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Posted: 21st Dec 2007 22:56
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On mars, we call them billipedes.


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demons breath
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Posted: 21st Dec 2007 23:33
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In South America, they call them dinner.


{just wanted to see if I could make an even WORSE joke than the rest of yez... do I win?}

"A West Texas girl, just like me"
-Bush
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BMacZero
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Posted: 22nd Dec 2007 04:31
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Lol

What can jump higher than a telephone pole?




"Ok, so that wasn't funny. I don' have any good Christmas jokes."
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bitJericho
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Posted: 22nd Dec 2007 04:45 Edited at: 22nd Dec 2007 04:46
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Then how do you explain THIS??


My humble little electronic music community site

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BMacZero
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Posted: 22nd Dec 2007 04:57
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lol

Ok, I conceded that one, but you can't win: I have a whole book of corny jokes from 1959 sitting in front of me.

Interviewer: How's business?
Tailer: Just sew-sew
Electrician: It's pretty light
Farmer: Mine is growing
Refrigerator Salesman: Not so hot
Garbage Collector: It's picking up
Astronomer: It's looking up
Elevator Operator: It has its ups and downs
Optician: It's looking better
Writer: Mine is all write


"Ok, so that wasn't funny. I don' have any good Christmas jokes."
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bitJericho
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Posted: 22nd Dec 2007 05:02
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Programmer: Business has crashed


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BMacZero
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Posted: 22nd Dec 2007 05:15
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lolzors. Nice one

Bird Farmer: It's dropping

We could do these for a while


"Ok, so that wasn't funny. I don' have any good Christmas jokes."
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Blobby 101
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Posted: 22nd Dec 2007 12:05
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quarry operator: "it's really hitting rock bottom"


thanks to deathead for the sig! please Click on it!
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Insert Name Here
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Posted: 22nd Dec 2007 12:08
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Translator: It's been sadly misinterpreted.


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Pus In Boots
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Posted: 22nd Dec 2007 13:43
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Newspaper editor: It's a little from column A, a little from column B.

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BMacZero
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Posted: 22nd Dec 2007 16:01
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Evolutionist: It's surviving.


"Ok, so that wasn't funny. I don' have any good Christmas jokes."
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bitJericho
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Posted: 22nd Dec 2007 16:15
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Militarist: It's holding but we need reinforcements!

This is fun!


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Insert Name Here
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Posted: 22nd Dec 2007 16:17
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Doctor: It's in good health.


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Venge
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Posted: 22nd Dec 2007 16:42
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Caveman:Urk unk graaaaaagh!

Modelled and rendered in Blender. Free software ftw.
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bitJericho
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Posted: 22nd Dec 2007 16:46
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Caveman: I just saved a ton of money.


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Robert The Robot
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Posted: 22nd Dec 2007 17:24
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Did you hear about the two burglars who crashed their get-away car into a cement mixer?
The police are looking for two hardened criminals...

Best wishes for a very Merry Christmas and the Happiest of New Years!
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