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Hyperion
13
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Joined: 6th Dec 2009
Location: A mere figment in your imagination
Posted: 13th Dec 2009 19:35 Edited at: 13th Dec 2009 19:55

Story:
You are Shawn Stills.An Assassin and Former employee of the major scientific company Invertigo.Its starts out quite simple:Youre at youre desk job doing the same ol' boring work.In fact,its so boring you fall asleep on the job.You wake a few hours later to find that your light is on but the power seems to be out.And youre fellow employees are mindless zombies or mutated freaks.So you grab youre revolver and set out to find what the hell is going on.But best be warned,the truth might be more than you can handle....(I know some things might seem unexplained,but they will be revealed,cant say the whole thing now can I?)
Will Feature:
Fenix Mod(If i can get to work)
Z-Mod
Custom Segments and Entities
Maybe,big maybe,Custom Weapon
10 Action-Packed Levelz
Bosses that arent just LIKE ZOMG 40000000 HEALTH!!1
Key:
= Done
=Polishing
=In the works
=Not started
Level 1:
Level 2:
Level 3-10:
Screenshot attached(NOTE:Levels could easily change from their screenshots from the polishing process)
EDITMG The framerate is horrid and i didnt even know!Must fix!Course it could just be my mediocre CPU

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Hyperion
13
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Location: A mere figment in your imagination
Posted: 13th Dec 2009 19:39
Screenshot 2:

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Hyperion
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Location: A mere figment in your imagination
Posted: 13th Dec 2009 19:40
Screenshot No.3

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Hyperion
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Posted: 13th Dec 2009 19:41
Screenshot Numbah 4

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Hyperion
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Posted: 13th Dec 2009 19:44
And finnaly #5,the end-of-level boss(Theres a door here that doesnt work,you actually have to kill the guy to win the level)And also entity placement isnt my strongpoint,working to improve =S)

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Metal Devil123
15
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Joined: 13th Jul 2008
Location: Suomi, Finland
Posted: 13th Dec 2009 21:09
I see there's a lot to improve in, but I see some potential went into this!


How many times do I walk in my sleep and I dream how much I wanna run away
Hyperion
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Posted: 13th Dec 2009 21:11
@Metal Devil123
Yeah im going to improve on my Entity placment and lightmaps,you think the story is good though?

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Metal Devil123
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Posted: 13th Dec 2009 21:18
The story is pretty nice


How many times do I walk in my sleep and I dream how much I wanna run away
Hyperion
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Posted: 13th Dec 2009 22:03
@metal devil
Thanks it actually only took mw about 5 mins...i was laying in my bed at 2:00 AM and thought "Oh hey this is a good idea for a FPS story" Viola,Vengeance was born

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Metal Devil123
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Location: Suomi, Finland
Posted: 13th Dec 2009 22:05
I get my ideas the same way.


How many times do I walk in my sleep and I dream how much I wanna run away
Hyperion
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Posted: 13th Dec 2009 22:09
Lol my best inspirations are in bed and in the shower..if i just sit down and think i come up with something bad....still trying to get damned Fenix Mod to work for some reason it keeps crashing

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maxiqueen123
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Posted: 13th Dec 2009 22:14
place more enties need more detail

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Hyperion
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Posted: 13th Dec 2009 22:38
@maxiqueen
Im aware of this,but next time yoy criticize,put some time into it,be constructive,because i will happily accept constructive criticsm =D

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maxiqueen123
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Posted: 13th Dec 2009 22:59
not so good in english my english teacher canĀ“t speak engliash
she say : Haelo mey friindz i say : Hallo my friendz

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Hyperion
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Posted: 13th Dec 2009 23:18
@maxiqueen
Well maybe youre english teacher is saying it right you just cant understand english to well.It should be Hello my friends

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Hyperion
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Posted: 13th Dec 2009 23:46
New screeny~

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Hyperion
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Posted: 13th Dec 2009 23:47
another

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Hyperion
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Posted: 13th Dec 2009 23:49
is it really worth it?

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Hyperion
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Posted: 13th Dec 2009 23:50
finnaly,a hawt one

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Zdrok
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Location: Pittsburgh
Posted: 14th Dec 2009 00:58 Edited at: 14th Dec 2009 01:00
Alright, some constructive criticism for you, Hyperion.

First off, I can see your game has potential. You just need to take the time to create a sensible level with good entity placement, enemy placement, and so on, so forth.

Quote: "entity placement isnt my strongpoint"

The above quote, to be quite frank, is not an excuse. Even if your entity placement is not good, you still cannot use that statement as an excuse to just plop anything anywhere. I'm not saying this to be mean, but this is constructive criticism. You have to decide what setting your level is first. Warehouse? Place some walkways and girders, along with bay doors and big shelves for storage. Laboratory? Place scientific objects around, like beakers and such in a nice, clean and white setting. You also have to consider the timeline of your game. WWII? German soldiers, manors and MP40s work well. Modern? Commandos (i.e., the SWAT guys), M4s and urban settings fit here. Sci-fi? Use anything to your heart's content, but make sure it makes sense.

Your story seems generic. Sit down and write down some ideas to fit into that. I agree, they can come at the oddest times, but put them down on paper, they might be good. It also makes no sense. Zombies...yawn. Put in something never done before, like cyborgs from the Earth's core or something, be creative.

Some things (such as that pistol in the dirty toilet) makes no sense. It may seems funny to a little kid but not to people playing and criticsizing your game (meaning pretty much everyone here). Make sure your environments make sense and match up with the story as well.

Improve on your entity placement, fix up the story a bit, but otherwise, your game has potential.

-Zdrok

Add me on Skype: zdrok94
Hyperion
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Posted: 14th Dec 2009 01:35
@Zdrok
I have no problem with people giving constructive criticsm ^^
Saying entity placing isnt my strongpoint is NOT an excuse.I should include that im making several test levels around different types of entity placement and genres etc...
I cant say the Whole story in that little box up there,just a brief beggining....the game will include voice-overs and little text boxes and such..
The dirty toilet thing isnt going to be included,well the gun will but i put it there for min fer teh lulz.
So yes,i am working on entity placement,the story will be explained throughout,and ty for this,its very well thought out

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Zdrok
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Location: Pittsburgh
Posted: 14th Dec 2009 01:42
Ah, okay, excuse me for saying that then.

Hope this goes well.

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Hyperion
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Posted: 14th Dec 2009 01:50
@Zdrok
Thanks,i suppose i see how you got that:Newb comes and makes a game that sounds like it could be good,but has bad entity placement,and makes excuse
Alas,some newcomers do do that =(

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Zdrok
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Posted: 14th Dec 2009 02:09
Yeah. It's a sad thing.

Add me on Skype: zdrok94
PW Productions
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Joined: 13th Mar 2009
Location: sitting in a chair.
Posted: 14th Dec 2009 04:19
Well, looks good but I didn't get why there'd be a military pistol on a toilet in a public bathroom.

Just saying that there's a lot of room to improve, and that can be really good if you take advantage of it

Cheers

PwP

Metal Devil123
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Location: Suomi, Finland
Posted: 14th Dec 2009 07:13
Well your images take extremely long to load. But the first of the last three looks interesting. Maby you should lower your ambience from your build game. Choose tho one that says global script and from there you can see ambience level and ambience green, red and blue. Put all those to a low number (I keep them at 0). And also! Make smaller rooms. And in the 1st of the last three: That enemy will bang it's head on the lamp. That's all I can think of now.

Oh! Where did you got that guy on the floor? Did you make it? Or is it a retexture of a character?


How many times do I walk in my sleep and I dream how much I wanna run away
Hyperion
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Posted: 16th Dec 2009 21:23
@Metal Devil
That guy on the floor is Peanut Butterfingers legless dude.I wouldnt recommend,so far ive yet to find a way he can be killed...
Im going to shrinken the images in Vegas or something because all i did was take the fraps .bmp and rename it to .jpg lol
About the ambience...changing the global script dosnt work in test games so you have to use < or >,but i usually try to do the best i can since i have to count the levels of ambience,lowering it to zero would require bunches of lights.Huzzah!(random...)
-Hyperion

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puppyofkosh
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Posted: 17th Dec 2009 02:55
Quote: "fraps .bmp and rename it to .jpg lol"


That would be your problem.


As for the game, the screenshots don't really make sense...I don't really get the idea of finding a gun in a poopy toilet, I mean at first thought its funny but after you see stuff like that a lot its kind of stupid. I don't mean to flame, that's just the way I see it.

Additionally, some of your pictures lack light sources, like the one in the sci-fi segment hallway, for some reason it looks like the middle of the hallway is lit up...the rest is dark, spooky, and empty.
Butt monkey
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Location: Scotland
Posted: 17th Dec 2009 11:57
Quote: "lowering it to zero would require bunches of lights."


Yes, and?..

Lighting IS one of the most important factors in an FPSC game, so why not do it right?

Your screens lack a smooth flow and consistency. The rooms are all huge and empty. Have you considered drastically scaling them down? You may not be bad at entity placement, but you think you are due to the massive scale of the rooms which you will have to fill with objects - A challenging task for everyone. Trust me, lower the scale of the rooms and then fill them up with entities. You will find it much easier to work with, you won't need as many lights and you will find your game looking much better, because let's face it - have you EVER seen a toilet that large?
Metal Devil123
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Location: Suomi, Finland
Posted: 17th Dec 2009 14:56
Quote: "Lighting IS one of the most important factors in an FPSC game, so why not do it right?"

This is so true. Just make a scene, I dare you. Keep teh ambience up and make no lights, or make a light if you want to. Then lower the ambience and make lightsources and lights where they fit with the scene. Just see the difference.


How many times do I walk in my sleep and I dream how much I wanna run away
Hyperion
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Posted: 17th Dec 2009 22:12
To All Above:
Thats a problem i have already figured out.I make the rooms wayyyyy to big.Have you ever seen a bathroom that big?As for the toilet,not much i can do,came out of model pack 1,2,0r 3,the modern day one
I said it would require bunches of lights.Im not complaining or saying i aint gonna do it,just stating something.

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Hyperion
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Posted: 19th Dec 2009 01:50
To mods...this game will be dead for some time as i practice my skills,and since the screenshots will be almost 100% different,i request a lock.Thanks
-Hyperion

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